Reefern86
04-04-2006, 02:27 AM
Hello all. Im currently in the process of creating a book. Sadly I dont get much feed back, and I've been running low on time to write, but I would like to introduce my work. The piece Im going to post here is just the Preface, and I already know that it is still abit choppy, but like I said Im running low on time. Plz tell me what u think and if u c anything that looks F'ed up plz tell me :) That way I can correct it.
Ohh and plz tell me if u would like to c more. As I said this is only the preface. LOL there is alot though and I dont want to bog ppl down on their first attemp at reading my work lol. Thx
Here we go....
Preface
Dawn. A beautiful time of day. The best time of day for some, but for the young man waiting on the hilltop, it was just the opposite. He had been there since the terrible night before, just waiting for the dawn to show him the way. Unfortunately it did nothing of the sort. He was on his own. Nothing in the world, not even the beginning of a new day, could make him forget what he had done. Death. Death was all that he was thinking of at the moment. The death he had caused.
Never had it been his intention to kill. He was a calm headed young man and he normally wasn’t subject to bouts of violence, or even anger. He was the one that all the adults of the village would come to ask about a problem that arose from his peers. He never took any sides, and he was NEVER involved beyond watching. People in the village always called on him to help with any jobs that needed to be done if they were unable, and he always did them no matter how little he made. Nobody disliked him, and the vast majority envied him.
The only person he ever had trouble with was the one person he wanted least to have problems with … his father. Having the love of an entire village was no where near having the love of your father. No matter what he did it was never enough. Every night he got the same speech on how he should better himself for the good of the family, but exactly what he was suppose to do was never explained. His father expected him to already know what he should do, and when he failed at the end of the day to do it he got the same speech again.
His father was the village’s idol. They all felt that they were blessed to have a cleric of Flamebringer, the god of light, in such a small village, and never questioned why he was there. People tend not to question things if they are getting what they want, and his father was defiantly giving them just that. He had established a small temple for the village and he held all the services there on the holy day and when ever there was a holiday. On normal days he would go around to all the people’s homes and cure the sick and recast wardings on their homes and the like. But the young man knew this was all just a cover.
Every night he would watch as his father came home, and he noticed that he would change. He was never the jovial loving man the village knew, but a conniving old man with a secret agenda. He would always go into his study and began doing things that the young man was not privy to see. When he came back out he always had a look of exhaustion, and he always looked a bit … different, then he had before going in.
The young man noticed all this in silence until finally his father decided it was time for the young man to learn what he was really doing. What the young man saw and did in that room would never be erased from his mind. That was where he had killed another. And that was what led him to flee and set fire to his own home. That was why he had killed his father the cleric of Flamebringer.
The streets were dark as usual. Nobody was around at this time of day. Most were asleep in there beds or out drinking with their friends at one of their usual inns. It was the perfect time for a thief.
Sliding easily from shadow to shadow the women quickly surveyed the dark alley way and quickly entered. No one had seen her and even if they had she was quickly forgotten. She had trained hard to be as unrecognizable as possible. It was her job and she was the best.
The alley she walked down was very cramped. The walls on either side looked as though they would fall at any moment and were only far enough apart for two people walking side by side. Trash and rotting food were strewn about and it was hard to place a foot without stepping in something vile. She had finally made it home.
Without warning the women stopped and turned to a particularly large heap of garbage. She looked to see if anyone was about and after finding no one jumped into the heap. If anyone had been looking they would have seen her suddenly just disappear into nothingness, but what had really happened was that there was a very clever entrance way there. Underneath the pile of garbage was a portal to the inside of a building half a block away. These portals were positioned all around the city, but the beautiful thing about them was that they would only exist for those that had traveled through them before. They were the guilds best creation by far.
“Finally arrived have we,” and man said as the women appeared in a large stone room. There was nothing in the room besides one door, but people were appearing left and right. “It took you long enough!”
“Quit your jabbering and take me to him!” the women said angrily to the odd looking man in front of her, “I don’t have time for your bullshit Geza!”
“Well, well happy as usual I see,” he replied, “And why would you like to see him?”
“He’s my God damn husband that’s why, and if you don’t leave out of my affairs you may not live to regret it Geza,” she said starting to smile devilishly, “this is your last warning!”
“You know you can’t touch me. Your husband said so.” He laughed at, but none the less started to head toward the door. He may have known that she wasn’t supposed to touch him, but if she wanted to she would kill him without a single person ever knowing. Best not to aggravate her further, but her husband had ordered it. Hopefully she knew that.
“Good you know a little at least since your moving, but you may still pay for your words Geza. Never take my husbands orders toward me to far.” She laughed as Geza missed a step at her words. Yes she had known, but she was not in the mood for it and she was perfectly willing to make him pay for it. She couldn’t really take it out on the real culprit. Not until they were alone at least.
Geza had learned his lesson and so he led her on in silence. The guild was one of the most confusing places in the world. Few knew how to navigate through all of it. Most of the members in the guild were only taught certain areas of the maze that they needed to be in, and many areas were regulated to advanced members only. The entire guild was huge. Not all of it was even on the same continent, and it was comprised of hundreds of buildings in every major city. To get from place to place there were portals such as the ones at the entrance, but the difference was that anyone could use the interior portals once in the guild. Every portal led to another building, but they all flowed together seamlessly.
The halls in every part of the guild were always dark. Their were hidden passages everywhere, and people flowed around the woman and Geza without making a sound. This was home for her and she was one of the three people that knew every part of this maze. The other two were Geza and of course her husband. The one piece of knowledge she was not allowed was where her husband was at all times. That was left to Geza.
“So Geza … where is he hiding today?” she asked.
Geza started to laugh, “You know he hates it when you call it hiding. He would prefer you call it tactical aversion.” With that he almost started rolling on the floor with laughter. Geza knew of the on going argument between her and her husband and found it to be the best joke in the guild. Basically she was the biggest threat to her own husband, and frankly he was scared to stay in the same place for fear that she may kill him.
She sighed, “Well I don’t care what he wants to call it! It’s still hiding.” She thought about what she would do if she did know of her husband’s whereabouts and realized she may in fact have actually killed him. Not that she didn’t love him, but she was the best person for the position. She sighed again just thinking about it.
Geza finally stopped after leading her in a way he thought she couldn’t follow, but he was wrong. The guild was hers and she could follow any path in it. “Well here we are,” Geza said, “sorry it took so long madam!”
“You better be Geza,” she said laughing at his sudden seriousness, “If you weren’t we would have issues. And you wouldn’t want that now would you Geza?” She said that in a sweet voice, but the look she shot him could have killed a lesser being. She was who she was and she was above remorse and would kill anyone for anything she felt like. Geza knew it to and almost ran back through the halls.
As Geza quickly disappeared the young women turned and pulled aside the indicated tapestry to reveal a door. She opened it and ducked inside before anyone else noticed which room she entered. It was all well and good to want to kill your own husband, but never give anyone else the necessary information so they could do it instead of you.
As she entered she stopped and waited for her eyes to readjust to the sudden burst of light. After the almost perfect darkness of the guild any amount of light caused a moment of blindness. A moment of weakness that she didn’t much like.
“Well,” she heard from in front of her, “it would appear as if you are here.” He paused for a moment to allow her to see again. “It has been awhile my love. May I ask where you have been?”
She looked into her husband bright blue eyes and smiled despite herself. She really did love him, and that was a problem. He was a gorgeous man and killing him would be a waste. She wished he wasn’t the one standing in her way, but she wished for a lot of things that never happened.
“You don’t know where I’ve been?” she asked him giving him a sly smile, “I was positive that you tried to have me followed. To bad the poor fellow didn’t live long enough to tell me!” She laughed at the sudden look in her husbands eyes. It was a sad look that meant he had know the man well, but it also showed that he knew what was going to happen to the man before he sent him.
“Hum!” he mumbled aloud, “You didn’t have to kill the poor man. Though I didn’t send him. He went on his own.”
“Ahh yes,” she replied, “and who was he going to report to after his findings? I do believe you are getting slow husband … Or are you?”
“Alright enough of the games! Where have you been, and please don’t make me ask again.” He said the last part slowly looking all around him to indicate that others knew that if he didn’t leave safely she wouldn’t either.
She took that excuse to look around the room. It was very interesting because it had nothing for a roof except a large pane of glass. There were a few chairs for lounging in but the rest of the room was empty. There was also only one door which, for the guild, was very odd. Most rooms had more then one way out and the ones that did were very dangerous indeed. Her husband must have chosen it to show her that she still couldn’t do anything had she wanted to, but she no longer cared about those types of games. There was only one game left to be played, and she was the only one that knew about it.
“Well if you’re going to be like that about it I guess I have no choice, but to tell you,” she said sighing and dropping into one of the chairs, “I was with a friend in …”
“DON’T TOY WITH ME SALENE,” he interrupted loudly but just below yelling, “YOU WERE GONE FOR TWO YEARS!”
“Yes well she is a good friend,” she replied coolly, “Is there anything to drink around here?”
He sighed knowing that no matter how mad he got she would never concede fully. It would appear that he would have to try to puzzle out her games … again. He was truly getting tiered of it. He had almost been happy for the break, but she was his wife and he had thought about her every night for the past two years. He loved her to much for his own good.
“Please Salene,” he asked gently sitting down in the chair next to hers, “For the past two years I’ve been waiting for you to return every night, and every night you never returned. All I ask is that you please tell me what was so important that you would disappear without so much as a goodbye.”
She looked into her husbands eyes and saw the pain that was reflected there. She hated herself already for what she had done, but she couldn’t give in because she knew what he would try to do if he knew. She couldn’t let him stop her, but it was time for him to play his part. She would tell him … a bit.
“Well,” she began looking into his eyes again, “I was taking care of our daughter.”
Wow bigger then I thought. SRRY :)
Ohh and plz tell me if u would like to c more. As I said this is only the preface. LOL there is alot though and I dont want to bog ppl down on their first attemp at reading my work lol. Thx
Here we go....
Preface
Dawn. A beautiful time of day. The best time of day for some, but for the young man waiting on the hilltop, it was just the opposite. He had been there since the terrible night before, just waiting for the dawn to show him the way. Unfortunately it did nothing of the sort. He was on his own. Nothing in the world, not even the beginning of a new day, could make him forget what he had done. Death. Death was all that he was thinking of at the moment. The death he had caused.
Never had it been his intention to kill. He was a calm headed young man and he normally wasn’t subject to bouts of violence, or even anger. He was the one that all the adults of the village would come to ask about a problem that arose from his peers. He never took any sides, and he was NEVER involved beyond watching. People in the village always called on him to help with any jobs that needed to be done if they were unable, and he always did them no matter how little he made. Nobody disliked him, and the vast majority envied him.
The only person he ever had trouble with was the one person he wanted least to have problems with … his father. Having the love of an entire village was no where near having the love of your father. No matter what he did it was never enough. Every night he got the same speech on how he should better himself for the good of the family, but exactly what he was suppose to do was never explained. His father expected him to already know what he should do, and when he failed at the end of the day to do it he got the same speech again.
His father was the village’s idol. They all felt that they were blessed to have a cleric of Flamebringer, the god of light, in such a small village, and never questioned why he was there. People tend not to question things if they are getting what they want, and his father was defiantly giving them just that. He had established a small temple for the village and he held all the services there on the holy day and when ever there was a holiday. On normal days he would go around to all the people’s homes and cure the sick and recast wardings on their homes and the like. But the young man knew this was all just a cover.
Every night he would watch as his father came home, and he noticed that he would change. He was never the jovial loving man the village knew, but a conniving old man with a secret agenda. He would always go into his study and began doing things that the young man was not privy to see. When he came back out he always had a look of exhaustion, and he always looked a bit … different, then he had before going in.
The young man noticed all this in silence until finally his father decided it was time for the young man to learn what he was really doing. What the young man saw and did in that room would never be erased from his mind. That was where he had killed another. And that was what led him to flee and set fire to his own home. That was why he had killed his father the cleric of Flamebringer.
The streets were dark as usual. Nobody was around at this time of day. Most were asleep in there beds or out drinking with their friends at one of their usual inns. It was the perfect time for a thief.
Sliding easily from shadow to shadow the women quickly surveyed the dark alley way and quickly entered. No one had seen her and even if they had she was quickly forgotten. She had trained hard to be as unrecognizable as possible. It was her job and she was the best.
The alley she walked down was very cramped. The walls on either side looked as though they would fall at any moment and were only far enough apart for two people walking side by side. Trash and rotting food were strewn about and it was hard to place a foot without stepping in something vile. She had finally made it home.
Without warning the women stopped and turned to a particularly large heap of garbage. She looked to see if anyone was about and after finding no one jumped into the heap. If anyone had been looking they would have seen her suddenly just disappear into nothingness, but what had really happened was that there was a very clever entrance way there. Underneath the pile of garbage was a portal to the inside of a building half a block away. These portals were positioned all around the city, but the beautiful thing about them was that they would only exist for those that had traveled through them before. They were the guilds best creation by far.
“Finally arrived have we,” and man said as the women appeared in a large stone room. There was nothing in the room besides one door, but people were appearing left and right. “It took you long enough!”
“Quit your jabbering and take me to him!” the women said angrily to the odd looking man in front of her, “I don’t have time for your bullshit Geza!”
“Well, well happy as usual I see,” he replied, “And why would you like to see him?”
“He’s my God damn husband that’s why, and if you don’t leave out of my affairs you may not live to regret it Geza,” she said starting to smile devilishly, “this is your last warning!”
“You know you can’t touch me. Your husband said so.” He laughed at, but none the less started to head toward the door. He may have known that she wasn’t supposed to touch him, but if she wanted to she would kill him without a single person ever knowing. Best not to aggravate her further, but her husband had ordered it. Hopefully she knew that.
“Good you know a little at least since your moving, but you may still pay for your words Geza. Never take my husbands orders toward me to far.” She laughed as Geza missed a step at her words. Yes she had known, but she was not in the mood for it and she was perfectly willing to make him pay for it. She couldn’t really take it out on the real culprit. Not until they were alone at least.
Geza had learned his lesson and so he led her on in silence. The guild was one of the most confusing places in the world. Few knew how to navigate through all of it. Most of the members in the guild were only taught certain areas of the maze that they needed to be in, and many areas were regulated to advanced members only. The entire guild was huge. Not all of it was even on the same continent, and it was comprised of hundreds of buildings in every major city. To get from place to place there were portals such as the ones at the entrance, but the difference was that anyone could use the interior portals once in the guild. Every portal led to another building, but they all flowed together seamlessly.
The halls in every part of the guild were always dark. Their were hidden passages everywhere, and people flowed around the woman and Geza without making a sound. This was home for her and she was one of the three people that knew every part of this maze. The other two were Geza and of course her husband. The one piece of knowledge she was not allowed was where her husband was at all times. That was left to Geza.
“So Geza … where is he hiding today?” she asked.
Geza started to laugh, “You know he hates it when you call it hiding. He would prefer you call it tactical aversion.” With that he almost started rolling on the floor with laughter. Geza knew of the on going argument between her and her husband and found it to be the best joke in the guild. Basically she was the biggest threat to her own husband, and frankly he was scared to stay in the same place for fear that she may kill him.
She sighed, “Well I don’t care what he wants to call it! It’s still hiding.” She thought about what she would do if she did know of her husband’s whereabouts and realized she may in fact have actually killed him. Not that she didn’t love him, but she was the best person for the position. She sighed again just thinking about it.
Geza finally stopped after leading her in a way he thought she couldn’t follow, but he was wrong. The guild was hers and she could follow any path in it. “Well here we are,” Geza said, “sorry it took so long madam!”
“You better be Geza,” she said laughing at his sudden seriousness, “If you weren’t we would have issues. And you wouldn’t want that now would you Geza?” She said that in a sweet voice, but the look she shot him could have killed a lesser being. She was who she was and she was above remorse and would kill anyone for anything she felt like. Geza knew it to and almost ran back through the halls.
As Geza quickly disappeared the young women turned and pulled aside the indicated tapestry to reveal a door. She opened it and ducked inside before anyone else noticed which room she entered. It was all well and good to want to kill your own husband, but never give anyone else the necessary information so they could do it instead of you.
As she entered she stopped and waited for her eyes to readjust to the sudden burst of light. After the almost perfect darkness of the guild any amount of light caused a moment of blindness. A moment of weakness that she didn’t much like.
“Well,” she heard from in front of her, “it would appear as if you are here.” He paused for a moment to allow her to see again. “It has been awhile my love. May I ask where you have been?”
She looked into her husband bright blue eyes and smiled despite herself. She really did love him, and that was a problem. He was a gorgeous man and killing him would be a waste. She wished he wasn’t the one standing in her way, but she wished for a lot of things that never happened.
“You don’t know where I’ve been?” she asked him giving him a sly smile, “I was positive that you tried to have me followed. To bad the poor fellow didn’t live long enough to tell me!” She laughed at the sudden look in her husbands eyes. It was a sad look that meant he had know the man well, but it also showed that he knew what was going to happen to the man before he sent him.
“Hum!” he mumbled aloud, “You didn’t have to kill the poor man. Though I didn’t send him. He went on his own.”
“Ahh yes,” she replied, “and who was he going to report to after his findings? I do believe you are getting slow husband … Or are you?”
“Alright enough of the games! Where have you been, and please don’t make me ask again.” He said the last part slowly looking all around him to indicate that others knew that if he didn’t leave safely she wouldn’t either.
She took that excuse to look around the room. It was very interesting because it had nothing for a roof except a large pane of glass. There were a few chairs for lounging in but the rest of the room was empty. There was also only one door which, for the guild, was very odd. Most rooms had more then one way out and the ones that did were very dangerous indeed. Her husband must have chosen it to show her that she still couldn’t do anything had she wanted to, but she no longer cared about those types of games. There was only one game left to be played, and she was the only one that knew about it.
“Well if you’re going to be like that about it I guess I have no choice, but to tell you,” she said sighing and dropping into one of the chairs, “I was with a friend in …”
“DON’T TOY WITH ME SALENE,” he interrupted loudly but just below yelling, “YOU WERE GONE FOR TWO YEARS!”
“Yes well she is a good friend,” she replied coolly, “Is there anything to drink around here?”
He sighed knowing that no matter how mad he got she would never concede fully. It would appear that he would have to try to puzzle out her games … again. He was truly getting tiered of it. He had almost been happy for the break, but she was his wife and he had thought about her every night for the past two years. He loved her to much for his own good.
“Please Salene,” he asked gently sitting down in the chair next to hers, “For the past two years I’ve been waiting for you to return every night, and every night you never returned. All I ask is that you please tell me what was so important that you would disappear without so much as a goodbye.”
She looked into her husbands eyes and saw the pain that was reflected there. She hated herself already for what she had done, but she couldn’t give in because she knew what he would try to do if he knew. She couldn’t let him stop her, but it was time for him to play his part. She would tell him … a bit.
“Well,” she began looking into his eyes again, “I was taking care of our daughter.”
Wow bigger then I thought. SRRY :)