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greeneyes
06-02-2006, 05:38 AM
I don't write in any particular form.

Look into my eyes, look. Can't you see me? I'm there behind the pale saddness. Beaten down I look away. No, you're too busy to see. To you I am weak. My qualites wasteful. But why is that all you see? Why stab me in my back to laugh? Just walk away and leave me lying on the ground, the knife still twists eventhough your gone. But you don't care you left long ago. Now I am alone, wounded and crying. Finally, the tears stop and cheaks dry. Stagger to your feet still hurt, reach for the knife and slowly pull it out. The pain is good, never forget it. Scared now you are sure not to forget. Instead keep and charish that scar. Jagged and ugly it serves to show, weakness is strength. The pain will not beat you. No now my eyes will meet yours and you will see. See me for who I am, strong. The fire that you lit cannot go out. Be afraid becuase now you will no you lost. You made me, but not what you intended. I'll never be the same because I found the beauty within my scar.

MatsumotoRangiku
06-08-2006, 12:49 AM
wow that is great I love the story alot keep up the great work.

Lolable
06-08-2006, 03:21 PM
iagree with matsumato
its very good
thx for sharing

Byakuya7
06-11-2006, 06:50 PM
It's good, but it sounds more like a summary or an intro, rather than an original story.

blueice760
06-11-2006, 06:55 PM
hmmm sounds more like a scene in a serious story, though nice decription

greeneyes
06-12-2006, 04:31 AM
I thank everyone who commented. I know it needs alot of work but if I'm too scared to ever put it out there then I'll never know how I need to work on it. Thank you:)

Sanzora
06-12-2006, 10:31 AM
I like it but I agree with Buyakuya... Sounds like an intro to something...