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Lenne
06-24-2006, 07:38 PM
One Word


If a single poem
describing the lush tender young grass
with the tingling scent of morning dew drops
drifting upon the wind as it blows past
out into the cerulean skies and beyond,
The birds now soaring ever so free
amidst the warmth of sunlight in a dream
gliding with the gentle sway of trees
leaving shadows upon the flowing stream,
The gentle sigh of twilight resounds
while the dim sky reveals a faint crescent
hidden covertly behind disappearing clouds
with the hot sun’s gradual descent,
Then into the veil of night settling soon
a duet by the stars that twinkle shyly
melodious to the incandescent moon
a lullaby to the world slumbering quietly,
Can be written with one word,
then why not just
‘Spring’?

~

this poem was written last year in response to some attack on my writing style, this person said that i used to much imagery and description, and thus he portrayed my poetry as weak and without meaning. For those of you out there who believe that poetry must be of a certain form in order to be acceptable, dont use your own personal bias to judge what people write. thats not the point of reading, nor is it the point of writing. I thank you for taking the time to consider my poetry.

:pangel3:

Icestorm
06-25-2006, 04:07 AM
so, sooo good and sooo sooo true, thanks for sharing this with us. Its an awesome piece and i believe in it.

Lenne
07-11-2006, 08:21 PM
just to revive this, i'm hoping for more comments^^

Dragar
07-11-2006, 08:26 PM
That's a good poem, Shiz, and you are quite right about how some people judge poetry.

Reefern86
07-11-2006, 08:27 PM
nice...dont c y anyone would be a dick about it...

Poetry is about personal style and feelings, so it shouldn't matter what it looks like.

yumisan
07-12-2006, 10:38 AM
a very great poem.facinating that i can imagine how to express it in myself too.

SoundWave
07-12-2006, 10:41 AM
very nice.. I didn't understand it until I read the last sentence.. hehe

Rising Phoenix
07-12-2006, 01:05 PM
Evry person writes differently and there are no laws to govern creation.

That said you have written 24 hours of spring beautifully!

Thanks for sharing!

R.P.

fullmetalG
07-13-2006, 06:09 AM
hey.i don't see why another person would tell you how to write your poem, but i guess they may be a little jealous, or they only know of a certain degree of poetry.you never know. just keep writing your poems and maybe one day they'll accept that.well take cares.

Lolable
07-13-2006, 09:07 AM
hey shiz
actually what iloved about it is the imagery and description i mean its so sweet and beautiful thx for sharing it with us
btw i only read three or two poems for you i dun remember but they r so enjoyable to read ilove ur way of writing :D

maximoose666
07-13-2006, 10:05 AM
It's lovely and wonderful... what a brilliant poem. Clever concept, and this certainly has meaning - and your use of imagery is outstanding :)

RevRuby
07-13-2006, 12:50 PM
:)

i like the imagery, actualyl made me think of a painting of mine

all in all tho, as much as i like the poem and the meaning behind it

it feels rushed, and i cna't seem to find a rythm, or a way to slow it down when i'm reading. could just be me. ^_^

BeeCrest
07-13-2006, 12:55 PM
That's excellent Shiz, you really have talent there. The style is lovely too, I might you use that for the poem I'm working on.

And I'll do anything for a comment on this poem, pwease read :3
http://forums.bleachportal.net/showthread.php?t=15157

Isis
07-13-2006, 02:05 PM
Shiz, beautiful as always. Pfft what does that guy know..a poem is our own words and emotions expressed mostly for ourselves not for others. More more more,please?