heres something i wrote tell me what u think its my first so i need criticism

[th3_kinG_39]

got the military mind of a soldier in this time ,
my life, my story is always hellbound ,
stuck in the street lvin the life of crime, nver looked back cuz there never was a time
now just sittin here barely able to rite rhymes,
thinkn through mind tears ,
barely able think cuz of the blood and sweat in the past few years ,
never had a father figure, was always alone with only my middle finger,
always sayn f**the world , with my trigger finger,
never gave a f*** bout my enemies to busy fixn problem with homies,
always watched their heads raise while mine was stuck a purple haze,
gettn bored of everything i do thikn bout turnin back to a life crime , gettn ready to get a light roll a blunt
and chill and blaze,
then i think of of my life as crack fiend, never want that so i just sell to the dope fiends .

[th3_kinG_39]

down the street were weak muthaf*** be beat
dont get enough time to stand on their feet ,
evrything be run the by gangs now ,
its time to think like a military mind and still nevr bow down ,
look at the streets were bodies be beat ,
hardly did sh** but ignore the sittuation an look at their feet ,
now their body be down,
an all we do is pour out a lil crown,
so many deaths caused by gang wars ,
rip to a real muthaf** mr BI, the G who talked to the streets ,
goverment thot he was threat,
so they plotted his death
same time pac took his last breath ,
because to much was said,
from this thugged out G,
who spoke tru sh**from the street ,
nevr exprected his death from his own G,

now the goverment be laughn like they nevr did a thing ,
like well nevr expect a thing ,
got us in a whirlpool while they sit bak and laugh givin us a lil bit of air
but not enough to acknowledge we still be there
time to open our eyes , soul and mind
all we is is pawns so they still got sh**to talk,
walk down the street to the projects the place
were everything will always be hopeless from
the day u die to the day ur born,
the only place they hope ull never learn,
now we gotta bridge the gap ,
nevr look back, like the war in iraq
so we can live till we die old ,
and still say f** the authorities
and say theyll never get the best of me,
grab the gat never look back , give em a piece of our mind
this is the time ,
to think like a miltiary mind

[Ishida90]

interesting military to weed lol

not bad though

[th3_kinG_39]

haha thanx its my first i was just watchn the news and i freestyled it so its not polished

[Ishida90]

better than i could do

[th3_kinG_39]

haha thnx but iunno i always think my things are crappy maybe cuz im comparn it to legends but still iunno be brutally honest tho like i want people to read this and think bout wat im sayn

[Ishida90]

i dont really know what else i would say though

jw where did you get ur inspiration??

[th3_kinG_39]

haha seriously i was listenin to another song bout gangs then i was just thinkn bout war how it aint only iraq but in families on the street between friend so i just started sayn stuff i guess
haha

[Ishida90]

cant aruge with that lol

where i live we really dont have gangs

[th3_kinG_39]

we got some gangs here nothing like over the top an stuff but it then again gangs are gangs hehe

[Ishida90]

we have like one around town but its a car gang its kinda funny

[th3_kinG_39]

hahah thats priceless haha we have a lot of stupid gangs here fightn so some stupid thing like were ur born

[Ishida90]

whats funny is this gang is called the "white dragon gang"

which is funny cause there is a sexual move called the white dragon--you probably know what im talkin about

so everybody makes fun of them

hey im gettin off ill ttyl