Love

[summer_faerie]

What do I call this feeling
It is like I am flying
Up high in the clouds
It is like there are bubbles in my stomach
My mind seems fuzzy
My thoughts get hazy
All is focused in on you
The center of my world
I hope this feeling never leaves
My heart jumps when ever I see you smile
My knees go weak from your kisses
If it weren’t for your arms
I’d surely fall to the floor
With your face so close to mine
It becomes hard to breath
My breathe becomes caught in my throat
My heart seems to stop beating
When you place your arms around my waist
Oh what is this feeling
Does it have a name
I never want to go another day
Without you in my life
You are the one who keeps me soaring
You are the one who keeps me spiraling
You are the one I love

Ok well I thought I would post his here. I already gave this to the person it was meant for. But some good C&C would be appericated!

[Isis]

Hey summer. Of course there are words that should have been better picked but its obvious you made this based on your feelings and that's what makes the poem lovely :)

[saycheese]

i see room for improvement and maybe cut it into 2 stanzas.

[emmasu]

OMG, its amazing, OMG, i really love it,

EDIT: you are right about all what you said:winking56

[yumisan]

fasinating poem...you're exactly right about it.i can understand it and i think saycheese is correct.maybe you should cut it into 2 or 3 stanza.:winking56
a great one.

[Ruk]

Summer you know I really like your work. And this poem is no exception. With that being said I see a few things worth pointing out, some of which has been said already.

First off as was said above you could have picked better words. And for the most part I would agree, but in this case when you are trying to portray your feelings sometimes the best choices are the first ones. When you are just trying to get across a feeling and not your own word choice can be a bit more important.

Second I fully agree breaking this up and someway would do it justice. A solid block of text like that can be hard to read. Even just if the spacing is purely for cosmetic reasons it can help the flow of the readers eye.

Over all a nice poem.

[summer_faerie]

Thanks for the C&C guys, it does all really help! And I am glad you seem to like my poems. I tried breaking it up and I'll think about other words.... maybe. Anyways is this easier to look at now?

What do I call this feeling
It is like I am flying
Up high in the clouds
It is like there are bubbles in my stomach
My mind seems fuzzy
My thoughts get hazy
All is focused in on you
The center of my world
I hope this feeling never leaves

My heart jumps when ever I see you smile
My knees go weak from your kisses
If it weren’t for your arms
I’d surely fall to the floor
With your face so close to mine
It becomes hard to breath
My breathe becomes caught in my throat
My heart seems to stop beating
When you place your arms around my waist

Oh what is this feeling
Does it have a name
I never want to go another day
Without you in my life
You are the one who keeps me soaring
You are the one who keeps me spiraling
You are the one I love

well what do you all think?

[Icchy <3]

Wow, I love this poem! Iv'e never really liked poems, but this is one of the ones that I really like!

Keep on making poems like this, I can't read to read more ^_^