View Full Version : To a fallen world
Yo you slow readers! Next edition is here!
Together we collected the first fallen arrows then moved back to await the second. With those collected we moved off to the castle, with Gor’s leave.
It took me a good hour before I found Steve, who was back in his shapeless form.
“We need these tested to see which carry the poison.” I said as I put down the arrows that were shot first, the young Lizard Daemon put his down on the other side of the table, gently, “And an antidote would be good too.”
He did as I bade and we waited. Seeing the young Daemon getting nervous I asked,
“What is your name?”
“Rekt.” He said with respect.
“Rekt? I’m so used to the Lizards having names that start with ‘S’ your name strikes me as strange.”
“I didn’t choose it.” Mumbled the youth.
“Could have been worse, I’m sure it’s a strong name.”
“It is, it was my father’s.”
“Your father a great warrior?”
“Never knew him, he died before I was hatched.”
“Pity, it’s good for a son to meet his father.” I looked out the closest window and saw the Griffons were still working hard at bombarding the enemy, by the looks of it some had fallen, “Could we hurry this along, my troupes are not going to make it for much longer.”
“This is delicate work, I need time.”
“I don’t need the antidote now! I just need to know if poison has been added or not!”
“No need to shout Duke Baldax, I am just doing my job, as you should. The walls need to be manned. I’ll send the youngster to get you when I have the answers you are looking for. Now leave me to do my job and you go do yours.”
I clenched my teeth, annoyed that I would let this slip. Turning I left the room and moved down to the courtyard, already I saw the damage that had been done to the Griffons.
Some were just lying there, others were moaning as various Spawnings tried their best to remove the arrows from wings and legs.
“This isn’t good.” I heard one saw, “They can’t last any longer if they keep being pushed like this.”
“You will do as the Duke has ordered.” I heard Grif’s shrill voice being carried throughout the courtyard, I nearly laughed.
“Calm down Grif! Call a break, I think the enemy is just about reduced to pancakes.” I called.
It took less than a minute and she was by my side, “How goes it with your troops Grif?”
“Ten won’t fly again and there are three dead as far as I know but without having the names and ranks checked I can’t be sure of all the casualties.”
“Good work for now, let them rest a few hours, I think we made our point.”
“Right! You off to the walls.”
“Yeah, Gor has had enough alone time.” I wave and leave her behind.
Gor was exactly where I had left him, still staring at the masses gathered before him.
“Did we at least scratch them with that attack?” I asked in dismay when I saw the numbers.
“It looked like it but they just came back, I think they might have more men further into the forest.”
“This can’t be good Gor.”
“Don’t be so negative Baldax. There might be more but we have the Master on our side, no one can stop us while he is on our side.”
“We hope.” I half whispered.
Just like Gor had predicted, the enemy came just before the crack of dawn, I wasn’t on duty then and had missed it as I was helping to attend to the weakened Griffons. But when I came back onto duty I saw the carnage, on both sides of the wall, though it looked like we took quite a beating from them.
“Where’s Gor.” I asked a nearby soldier.
“Readying the catapults and preparing the Dragons.”
“Already?” I turned to where the dragons were kept, they weren’t meant to be used until later in the battle, why break them out now?
I found Gor at the catapults, he looked tired, he must have been here since the last fight.
“Why the dragons now Gor?” I asked.
“The Master ordered it, I tried to talk him out of it but nothing I did could change his mind once it was made up. It’s madness Baldax but there was nothing I could do, he is the Master.”
“You’re tired Gor, I’ll go prepare the Dragons and get the riders ready.”
“You are a rider Baldax, the Master wants you to lead the rest.”
“What!? But you’re the captain! I can’t lead them! Besides the fact that no one will listen to me I have no idea how to lead.”
“The Master ordered it, you have to do as he says Baldax, that’s the way it has to be.”
“But…”
“Get the Dragons ready and I’ll join you soon. I’ll pick up the other weapons you might need for this.”
Here's where it starts getting interesting!
SHiKaMaRi
02-07-2007, 09:42 AM
I tend to rely on PM's a lot... >.> Which is why I just only noticed that you've updated the story when I received your PM. Ehehe...
I can't spot any mistakes in there *Blame my blurriness. I was never blessed with the beauty of being sharp* so thumbs up for ya. Good update <3
Sorry, I forget to tell alot of peopl€e, I think you're the only one reading at the moment so that's cool.
Here's the next!
There was nothing more I could do except to go to the Dragons.
The beasts weren’t nervous like the other animals, they were anxious to get out and kill. It was hard to find people to help me with the harnesses and saddles, they didn’t want to risk their lives to do such a dangerous job.
I had maybe prepared 10 dragons before Gor came into the pens, with him came the other Dragon riders. Not one of the 20 soldiers looked happy, I couldn’t blame them, I wasn’t pleased myself.
“See to your mounts and move out!” Shouted Gor.
They did as he ordered and I slide down to where he stood, “I think you should at least give the orders Gor.”
“Perhaps, no one is pleased with this sudden change.”
I found my mount and looked him over from the head to tail, he seemed well. Then I saddled him and made sure my sword was strapped to his side, where I could easily get hold of it when I needed to draw it.
“Baldax!” called Gor and I had to move fast as he threw a cross bow at me with a quiver of Dragon skin.
I looked to see the bolts were made of Dragon bone too, “And this Gor? Where did you find it?”
“It’s from the Dragon you killed on your first hunt, I saved that for you for your first battle. I don’t have a son to give it to so you will have to do.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment…I think.” I said, not sure whether to be insulted or pleased, I added them to my sword then climbed down.
Gor looked around him and said softly when I joined him, “Don’t you dare die on the first attack.”
“I won’t. You can trust me on that. Are you riding with the Master?”
“He isn’t flying today, maybe later in the week to raise moral, I think we took a hell of a blow to moral today.”
“Then we’ll bring a victory home!”
“Good boy! You think well.” He hit me on the back, some things never change.
An hour later we were in the air with our Griffon Guard, Grif flying close to me as she carried a boulder in her claws.
“Ready Baldax?”
“I hope so.” I looked over to each of the soldiers, my soldiers, Gor had made sure they would obey me, “Right guys, you know your training. Don’t get in each other’s way and make use of the Griffon Guard, they will protect us for as long as possible. Once over the wall we dive. Let’s go!”
The mighty lizards flew over the walls and roared the blood lust, I saw the start of a berserk rage from some of the individuals, they would hopefully be restrained by their owners.
Enjoy!
SHiKaMaRi
02-12-2007, 07:13 AM
I'm the only one reading? Where did all the others go? T_T
Anyways.. Nice update *Thumbs up*
Seems like you'll be updating more often soon, too! Keep the great work up, Lex~
Someone is reading! About time. Thanks!
“You think they’ll hold their rage a bit longer?” I asked the Dragon beneath me.
“Only if you can keep control, if you fall that’s the end of it.”
“Then I won’t fall. Now fire those damn camps!” I called to all.
It took a few minutes to reduce the camps to burning wreaks, enemy soldiers rushing about to stop the blaze before it spread to the forest, the only cover they really had.
“Fly over the forest, I want to see what they’re hiding there.”
“I wouldn’t suggest it.”
“What do you see?”
“Enemy troupes armed with crossbows that will easily cute through my scales and your armour.”
“I hear you. Get out of range and fire the forest, a friendly warning.”
Once we were far enough out of reach the Dragon opened his mouth to send forth a mouthful of blue and orange flames, hitting the centre of the forest.
“Right! That’s enough damage, pull back!” I called to the other riders.
We all returned unscathed and a cheer leapt into the air as we landed and led our dragons to get some rest. Moral had risen, just what we had wanted and as a bonus the other riders finally accepted me.
“Nicely flown captain.” Called one.
“Gor’s captain, I’m just stand in for now!” yet I doubt anyone heard me over the noise coming from outside.
“This will do moral do well.” Said Gor as he joined me, “The forest is burning beyond their capacity to control it. They have now turned all their attention to it, they must have been hiding something in there.”
“Cross bows of immense power, according to my mount. The kind that can punch through a Dragon with no trouble at all.”
“Wooden or metal?”
“I’m unsure of that I’m afraid. Did any news reach the walls of the arrows?”
“None so far.”
“So Rekt is still with him…”
“Is it important? I can get someone to go and check it for you if you like?”
“No…there will be no need for that.” I looked over my dragon and found him in good health, “I think I will get something to eat while the peace is maintained by the raging fire outside. There any meat?”
“Some what…we have some Griffons that fell yesterday but Grif refuses to let anyone near the bodies…says it’s your orders, what is with that?”
“I don’t know if the last few volleys of arrows that had been fired were poisoned or not…the last thing we need is for the army to eat the contaminated corpses and be poisoned.”
“Nice thinking, no one would have cared of that in the past, you become more of an asset to us daily.”
I nodded my head, I was tired, the excitement of riding the Dragon into combat had drained me totally, mentally and physically. Some warm food should keep the fatigue at bay for a few more hours.
“When do we need to go out again?”
“I think you bought us some time with that fire.”
“Then I’m off to get a meal and maybe a few hours rest.”
“You hardly fought, don’t tell me you’re tired!”
“It’s easier to ride a Griffon that it is to ride a Dragon, it takes all my power to just control it, plus I had to watch out for the few that were on the verge of a berserk rage. Not easy. You’re welcomed to your job Gor, I don’t think I’m cut out for it!”
He laughed, “Tell you what…I knew where some of the spirits were hidden, how about we get some and relax till our next shift starts?”
“All for it.”
By the time evening came by the enemy was still trying to kill the fire, without much success. In the end they were forced to pull their extra weapons and soldiers out of the forest and out into the open.
“Quite a few now.” I commented, nursing a slightly sore head, I would never get use to the spirits that the Daemons could stomach.
Tell me what you think!
SHiKaMaRi
02-12-2007, 10:28 AM
Good to see you updating more often, Lex! Another great update, good job.
Here's another!
“I’ll estimate us still at about 10 to 1 with those numbers but if the Griffons keep up their work it will drop quite a bit.”
“But what I don’t get is that they have no mountable beasts…how could they lay siege to the surrounding castles without something that has wings?”
“Or something that digs…you have a point Baldax. What do you think is going on?”
“I think we’ve only seen the tip of the mountain here. I think they’re trying to tire us out with their lower soldiers before they send in the ones that will be a hell of a lot harder to kill.”
“Seems right, you can bring it up at the meeting of the generals later.”
I tried to see further into the darkness but even with all Sektaar’s powers I was unable to pierce it. There was something big out there but I wasn’t sure what yet.
“When’s the meeting?”
“A few hours still. They want to make sure that there will be no more attacks for the evening.”
“How can you tell?”
“When you see the cooking fires and smell the food they’re attempting to cook. And even then it’s never a sure thing.”
At the meeting I said my say and suggest that we send any available scouts out to gather information but that was squashed very soon as it was voiced. We had lost too many already to risk it again.
I accepted it but didn’t like it, most of the generals here hadn’t seen what Gor and I have, the numbers and lack of skill was just not right.
“Don’t let them rub you the wrong way Baldax, they just don’t like the idea of you being here. It irks them that you have become so powerful.”
“You’d think that they would have learned to have trusted me by now…”
“Just be grateful that you weren’t thrown out. I heard whispers of that.”
“They’re welcome to try.” I growled, “Then I’ll show them why I’m part of this to begin with!”
“Now, now Baldax, pushing your blood pressure up isn’t going to help anyone at this moment. Calm dow a bit, get something to eat and get some rest. You deserve it!”
It was close to being unbareable, sleeping that is. The noise from the fighting, the screams of the wounded and dying kept every person alive and by morning we hardly noticed the piles of dead that had been gathered.
War wasn’t as I would have thought of. Humans always talk about glory but all I could see were the maggots getting fat upon the bodies of my comrades, not pleasant.
Day in and day out it was the same thing. If I wasn’t fighting on the walls I was flying with the dragons. Each time we turned the envading army back or managed to kill some, there forces almost doubled! There seemed to be no end and the days just dragged on and on!
“How the hell are they managing to feed all those soldiers?” I burst out one day, startling some of the younger Daemons, “This just isn’t possible! We are hardly able to survive on our megre rations!”
No one was there to answer me because no one knew.
Days turned to weeks and weeks into months, or at least by my calculation until finally the Master stepped from the castle dressed in his armour, leading his dragon mount.
“Master? Are you to fight with us today?” I asked.
I had been called to ready the team, of which only 10 still lived, and to await further orders.
“Yes, I feel today is as good a day as any other.”
”For what?”
I just received a look as me mounted his dragon, “Are the others ready?”
“Yes Master, I will inform them that you are here.” I hurriedly did as I said I would.
The rest of the team looked nervous as I informed them that the Master would be flying with us.
“But why? What reason does he have to fly with us?” asked Gor who was still recovering from a would taken earlier in the week, he shouldn’t be here.
“I don’t know, he just decided to fly with us.”
Enjoying it yet?
SHiKaMaRi
02-13-2007, 08:00 AM
Enjoying it? Of course~ Nice work, update soon!
Tomorrow, or I'll finish the book before it should be!
SHiKaMaRi
02-13-2007, 09:51 AM
It seems that you're having more free time! (A good thing, of course.) How many pages does your story come to now, Lex? XD
113 pages but it's not done yet.
Next edition!!!!!
Within a space of a few minutes we all stood ready before the Master, waiting for any order that he might give to us.
He looked down at us from his dragon, “Mount and let us fly boys.”
What could we do but obey?
Circling over the enemy camp we soo found ourselves surrounded by the enemy, also mounted on their dragons, ready to make battle.
“No more games.” Said the Master reigning his mount, “I know you are here and I know you started this mess so you might as well come out here and admit to it.”
There was silence and nothing moved except for the flapping wings of the dragons.
Then another huge black dragon rose from somewhere in the forest, how it had gotten there was a miracle.
“So you coward, you show yourself at last.” Rang a metalic voice from behind the visor of the new warrior.
“I have been biding my time for the snake in the grass…or should I say forest. Remove that visor and show the people who you really are before I do it for you.”
Slowly the clawed hands were raised to the visor, seeking the catches that would release it. Slowly it was pulled off and thrown aside, it wasn’t going to be used for this battle.
Before it even hit the ground everyone saw who was mounted on the dragon and I realised what Sektaar had been saying.
“I don’t believe it.” I whispered to myself, “It all makes so much sense now!”
“So now you see.” Said the brother of the Master, “Have you come to join us brother? Under my rule!”
“You have torn this land to pieces and for what? To be ruler? You could have asked and you would have gotten your own land to rule over!”
“Rule over your leavings? I think not brother. I want this land! And no other.”
“Then draw your blade and fight for it.” The Master drew a sword that ever dwalfed my own!
“I think I will do just that.” Yet it was not a sword he drew but an axe that clung to his back, “And when I am done with you their will hardly be enough left to feed a rodent!”
With that the flapping of wings increased and the fight was on.
Enemy troupes swarmed and we had to battle hard just to keep up with their sheer numbers.
Every now and again I caught glimpses of the two Lords fighting, it was a furious battle, sword classed against axe with a spray of sparks and on occasions…blood.
“Gor we need to go help the Master!” I called to him.
“A little busy.” He strained as he back slashed a warrior before him, “He’ll have to help himself until we get a break to get to him. You keep yourselve alive till then!”
It felt like hours as we swung our mounts and weapons to face the never ending flow of the enemy…but nothing helped, we were going to be swarmed!
“Retreat!” I heard the Master call and gratefully we wheeled our dragons back to the castle.
“I will not allow you to turn your back on me!” roared the brother and I saw him hurl the axe.
Before I could even think of a warning the Master took the blade to his back, he arched but uttered no sound. Being the closet I came to his aid and was nearly unseated as an enemy soldier tried to kill me.
Another dragon without a mount flew off to its freedom.
“Master?” I couldn’t help but look at the blood bubbling from the wound in his chest, the axe had nearly exited his body.
And so it gives way to the second book!
New one!
“Go now!”
“And leave you? I can’t! It’s my duty as a soilder to protect you.”
“If you don’t you will die here. My brother has no love for those in the castle.”
“I will not leave you!”
“Then you die.” He pulled a crossbow out from no where and aimed it at me, “You are now dead.”
One minute I was on the dragon and the next I fell, pain bursting from every pore of my body!
Somehow I landed in a river, I didn’t even know thay had a river this close to the castle…a few miles away yes but not near the castle.
“(Stay dead.)” said a voice in my head, it was the Master.
The swift current pulled me along…more of a drag really considering my armour weighed me down. Often I was banged against a boulder, jarring ever bone in my body.
I needed to lose the armour or I was going to die here but I couldn’t lose the sword!
The next moment I found sand beneath my feet and I pushed up against it, hardly seeing what I was doing with all the silt flying past.
Lungs burning by now I didn’t care what had happened, I needed to get to air! What vision I had started going black at the edges, needed to get to air.
For a second, just a second I thought I saw the silt getting less, air! Then something cracked against the back of my head and it was lights out!
It was the pain that hit me first when I became aware again. The thumping inside my skull, that and the agonising wound in my chest. Then I became aware of though I was wet I was no longer cold and there was no weight on my shoulders…or any part of my body to be precise, except for what I took to be a sheet.
The last awareness came as I tried to move my arms, I couldn’t…they seemed to be bound.
Opening my eyes revealed what I took to be a house…it looked like a house, a normal one. The type I had grown up in.
Gently I turned my head, to prevent the thumping from hitting me in force. There was a pillow, that I could feel, and a materess…on a bed. From where I could see there was a built in cupboard to the foot of the bed. A door to the right of it. A desk near my head, I couldn’t be sure…there were some wooden chairs near it. There were widows and still intact curtains that fluttered in a breeze. My mind spun with questions, demands…fear was rising.
What is this? Where am I? No way the passed few years was a dream…surely not…?
“So…awake are you?” came a bored voice, “It’s been some time.”
I turned my head to face the otherside of the room that lay to my left. There, near a window, that showed a pale orange glow, sat a young man, he seemed young…he could have been only a few years older than me, but not much.
Brown hair, slightly spiked along the edges, almost as if someone tried trimming it but thought better of it near the end and never finished their task. I was surprised with the clothes he was wearing, long trousers, blue I think and a long sleeved, white shirt. Normal clothing…something I hadn’t seen in a long time.
He shifted his focus from whatever he was looking at outside to me. Large brown eyes watched, I could feel a power in them and knew he was gauging my strength in a battle
“You were a big fish to try and drag here.”
I nearly wept at the sound of another human’s voice, speaking a language I had only spoken a few times since I had started living with the Daemons.
“And it seems you have forgotten to talk.”
“I have not.” I said hesitantly, thinking about the words before I could say them.
“You are Baldax…are you not?”
“I am.” The thumping in my head now turned to pounding and I was forced to not squeeze my eyes shut.
He nodded his head then fluidly rose from the chair, it was then I knew that this man, was a fighter. Without a further word, or untying me, he left the room. I was left to suffer my own pain in silence.
I drifted off into a restful but pained sleep and awoke to that same man staring at me, only this time he was much closer and sat with a candle near by.
“What is it you want?” I asked, again careful with my words.
“You speak as if you haven’t used this language in some time, you should be ashamed of yourself.”
I tried to lash out but found myself still bound and the exsertion pained my head.
“Feisty I must say, even for a Daemon pawn.”
Before I opened my mouth I rolled the word around in my mouth…’Daemon pawn’…he was right, I decided to remain quiet.
“So you wish not to deny it?”
“I can’t.”
He seemed to nod his head but with the flickering shadows I couldn’t be sure, “So Daemon pawn, how many of out kind have you slain?”
“None! I haven’t seen another human in years!”
Decado what you think of your character?
Here's the next!
“Liar.” He stood to leave but thought better of it, instead he walked to the wall, near the desk, and leaned against it, “There might be some minascular truth to what you say but some how I don’t think so.”
“Believe what you want to believe.”
“Very well, than I will.” He crossed his arms, he seemed to be studying me.
There was silence, he stared at me while I stared at the ceiling, where was this and how the hell did I survive what I did!?
I sighed as the pounding in my head continued and once more checked my bonds, from the feel I could say they were rope, hemp if I was lucky, plastic if I wasn’t. Though they gave almost nothing I felt that I could indeed break them if I had to.
“Your sword and armour was quite unusual, I haven’t seen it on their normal foot soldiers, you were a flier weren’t you?”
“A what?” Their I had understood, the Daemons, but fliers were new to me!
“A flier…those that ride the huge reptiles.” He looked at me as if I was supposed to know exactly what he was speaking about.
“Dragons…they were dragons and yes I was with them.”
“Dragons, now with those we could stand a chance as it is…no, shouldn’t even try, even with the great Lord Baldax here.” He seemed to be mumbling to himself but kept his gaze upon me.
“What is it you want?”
“What everyone wants…their life back but for me it’s different as it is for you Baldax. Some of us humans, didn’t come out of this experience quite the way we should have, as you very well know.”
“No I don’t…” again I tried to sit but found myself yet again unable to, these bonds were stronger than they looked.
“Oh don’t you…” he shook his head, “This will get us no where soon.”
He strode forward and proceeded to remove the rope from my wrists, “No use keeping you like this, you’d break them eventually, eventually mind you.”
Once free I sat up and backed away from the man, my head pounded like a devil but I had to concentrate.
“Your clothes should be dry by now. Would you like them back?”
In surprised I realised I hardly had a stitch of clothing on but I refused to let the shock register on my face, “Would be pleasant.”
I saw maybe a ghost of a smile on his face, but then again, with the candle I would never know for sure!
“Stay here.” He warned as he left the room.
I scanned the room, there was no trace of my sword or my armour, but he had mentioned them so they weren’t just gone.
I rubbed my chest, where the other pain was radiating from, and found a bandage wound around my chest. Was this where I had been shot? Why did the Master do that?
“It was hard to remove the damned barbed thing!” came the man’s voice again.
Looking up I got a faceful of clothing I had worn under the armour. I pulled in on painfully, all the while my captor just stood there, not offering any assistance.
“You were lucky. If one of out youngest didn’t see you in the river you would have drowned in those lead weights of yours.”
“Yes…luck. What now?” I stood up, keeping the bed between me and this starnge man.
“What do you mean by that?”
“You obviously saved my life…and I suppose I must thank you for it. But I have to return to where…”
“You use to live?”
“What?! Use to?”
Nearly done!
SHiKaMaRi
02-19-2007, 07:48 AM
Ack. I'm a forgetful person. Totally forgot about stories ~smacks head~ Stupid school work...
113 pages and still not done.. That's beautiful XD
Great updates!
benothebeno
02-20-2007, 02:03 AM
WoW i spent like 3 hours reading 113 pages i love this story it for some reason reminds me of harry potter well Keep up the awesome work.
A new member! Yeah, welcome!
“I saw fire envelope that stone prison this afternoon after we dragged you out of the river like a drowned cat. There was nothing left by this evening.” He said it with such a straight face I could have broken it in two for him.
“The castle gone? There is no way!”
“Trust me bub, it’s gone. Not enough left to make even the smallest of temp shelter, and when I say small, I mean for a tiny mouse.”
Then the Master fell…the castle, everything! Grif! She wouldn’t…couldn’t…
“You must be one of the few survivors.”
“What do you mean by a few?”
“We dispatched the Daemons that were dying anyway and some of their livestock.”
Livestock!
I quickly described Grif and asked if he had seen her.
“A Griffon? No…I don’t recall seeing one of those around. They’re the muli-headed stuff right?”
Knowing I wasn’t going to get staright answers from him I moved to the window and threw it open, “GRIF!”
I think I got tackled because the next second I was lying on the floor with the breath knocked out of me. I was staring up at the man, he looked furious.
“Are you mad!?” he spat.
I sat up and narrowly dodged a boot coming at my head and rolled to my feet, “You wouldn’t understand.”
“You trying to call a lost pet will end up in all our deaths! You think all Daemons are as merciful as the ones that hosted you!? I got news for you, they aren’t, if they could they would have wiped us all out with that first attack. The only reason some of us live is because we use our BRAINS! Now shut up!” he didn’t move but kept me in view of both his eyes.
“If I don’t find her…”
“Regardless of finding her or not you will still live. You pull a stunt like that I’ll tie your armour and drop you in the river again. And this time there will be no one to fish you out.” I could see he was serious.
“What keeps me here?”
“Your humanity.” He said without missing a beat.
“I lost that a long time ago.”
“Then you can go. Learn the truth of your so called Masters. Go! Nothing keeps you here.”
I walked passed him and to the door, “No begging, no pleading for another human to stay?”
“You…are not human.”
I hardly saw the other faces of people as I decended to the next level and to where I saw my armour. I pulled it on and grunted when the armour parted over the wound in my chest. Finally I clipped my sword to my side and walked out into the dark and kept walking until I reached the river I had been fished out of and realized the power it must have taken to heave me out. There were groves when my armour had weighed down in the mud, and even by the dim light of a partial moon I made out the traces of blood.
I winced again as the metal dug into my chest, this needed to be repaired and soon!
Following the river I eventually caught the smell of burnt wood and followed my nose from there.
I found the castle, or what was left of it. The young man hadn’t been far wrong with what had been left. What hadn’t burnt was smashed to pieces that were unusable.
I listened to the breeze that blew, I heard nothing, no wings, no claws, no feet.
“Oh Grif where are you?” I moaned.
See you tomorrow!
benothebeno
02-20-2007, 06:07 PM
Nice ill be reading look at my sig
Oh wow! Thanks! I'm honoured!
In some places flames still smouldered so I fetched some dry wood and allowed it to catch fire.
Knowing the dangers I quickly walked over the remains of the castle then back out into the forest. Searching the whole time.
I found a cave close to day light and decided it was safer than spending time out here.
Carefully I marked the walls with small scratches of charcoal as I walked about in it. It was dark in here and the fire was a welcome but the supple was running out.
After a few more turns I found light and…
Exactly where I was lyimg now. I opened my eyes and stared around me. My home for such a short while. The smell of blood hung heavily in the air but it didn’t bother me I was use to it.
Haxzor, that was the young man’s name. My prey of the previous few nights, it was hard trying to find the man…very hard but what do you expect from one of the greatest swordsmen I knew.
…Grif.
“Grif!” I nearly dropped the torch.
“Baldax?! That you.” She got to shaky legs, she looked hurt.
I rushed to her side and looked her over, she had cuts, deep, in her back and legs, one wing looked like it had been broken.
“What happened?”
“They caught us and whipped some obediance into us.” Her eyes danced with a silent mirth, “But I disobeyed and ran away. I found this cave and…”
She collapsed against me, too tired to talk..
“Brave thing to do.” I sank to my knees and cradled her head in my lap, all I could think about was her mother.
“How’d you survive. The Master is dead and all of the Guard is dead, how did you survive?”
I explained to her what had happened and told her of the other people, then asked about the castle.
“All gone, your lands too. I saw them burning earlier. Nothing is left! Why did he do that!?”
“I don’t know.” I put her head down and went to the river nearby and returned with a cupped hand of water, which she drank from greedily.
After some time she sighed, “Go back to the humans Baldax, you’ll be safer there then here. He is looking for you you know. He knows you didn’t die.”
“I will not leave you here!” I knew who ‘He’ was, the Master’s brother
I lay her head on the ground and retuened out side once more and gathered what I could and returned to the cave.
Quickly I started a fire, sure that the smoke would disapate before anyone became aware of it and placed water in a bowl I had made hastely from bark. Then I boiled it and tended to Grif’s wounds as best as I could.
After I had gotten her comfortable I stripped of my armour, it would be quicker to run around without the extra weight and went out for another trip.
This time to collect bedding and what food I could.
Returned with nothing more than a few armfulls of dry grass and some fruit I thought might have been edible.
“That should hold you until I can hunt.”
“I’m serious Baldax, go to the humans and stay with them, you are not safe here!” she begged.
A few more pages then it's done, then it's too the publishers!
SHiKaMaRi
02-21-2007, 08:49 AM
Whee~ More updates!! <3
Great job as always, Lex!
benothebeno
02-21-2007, 07:39 PM
I hope that wasent sarcasim >_> well nice update cant wait to see what happens. Hope he goes on a rampage killing everone ahahhawha
We are so near to the end you guys are going to kill me, sorry but next week this thread is done. Then the new story starts!
“You just stay quiet and we won’t be found.” I refused to listen to her any further and made sure she slept, I stayed with her until she did just that.
Once she was sleep I went out again, this time with my sword to see what I could find. There wasn’t much, the fire had scared most animals off, yet somehow I managed to find something with a little bit of meat on it.
“Rabbits are harder to catch than I thought.” I told Grif when I came back.
“Make snares.” Came a familure voice.
“You! How did you get here?”
The same man as before rose from next to Grif, she looked like she didn’t care much.
“His smell was on you so I assumed you two knew each other.” She said, beak in the air.
“So this is a Griffon.” He looked at her in mild surprise.
“Yes.” I was not pleased that he had found me, if he could so could ‘He’.
“If I could find you this easily how easy will it be to for the Daemons to find you? Grif here told quite a bit about the problem you’re in.”
I gave the Griffon a hard stare and turned back to the other human, “I can survive.”
“No doubt, I just thought I’d leave you somethig to help you survive easier.”
“An what would that be?”
“Haxzor.”
“What the hell is that!?”
“A name, my name, it’s Daemon. Like yours.”
“How is that going to help me?”
“Incase you decide to spend time with some humans and not running like a scared sheep!”
“I am not running!”
“Oh really? Then I suppose you like to be kept on your toes the whole time?”
“I never asked you for help, you should have left me to die.”
“Maybe so, but there aren’t a lot of us and we should stick together, even those of us that have the tainted blood.”
I shot Grif and evil look and she flinched.
“What do you know about tainted blood?!” I demanded of Haxzor.
“Only what I was told and what I could find out. You were the first, after you there were a few others, experiments. Some lived, some died.” He shrugged his shoulders, it didn’t look like he cared much.
I remebered the Master’s words, they echoed in my head now.
“There are more?” I asked in disbelief.
“From what I can gather.”
“Where did you come from?”
“Now that I will not part with.” He moved passed me to the cave’s entrance, “If you ever feel the need for humanity use my name. You will find me.”
And with that he was gone.
“Haxzor…” Grif rolled the name in her mouth, “The Bladed one.”
“Why did you say anything!?” I hissed at her dumping the rabbits down.
“I…his smell was on you, I thought he could be trusted.” She mumbled, “I wasn’t sure.”
“I shouldn’t snap at you…sorry.”
That night, after skinning, cleaning and roasting the rabbits I sat down to think…no, plot my revenge. My home had been destroyed, a second time now. This time I had the power to act, I just didn’t have the resources.
“How many of you escaped?” I asked Grif.
“I think it was only me, the rest…either livestock or dead.”
“Not pleasant.” I sat back and chewed the remaining meat of of the bone I was holding, “I have nothing to work with if what you say is true about my land. I have nothing.”
“Except your fine armour, a sword and a crippled Griffon.” She said sadly.
“You are not cripped. You just need some time to heal, you will fly again. I mean it Grif! You will fly!”
Days dragged on and nothing happened. I made the cave my home, sometimes Grif stayed with me but after her wing healed she made her way around and often didn’t return for days on end, making the cave empty. But by now, it was home, I didn’t want to leave. And I protected it furiously. Any Daemon that came snooping was soon dispatached and hidden in the many other caves that were in the main one, soon, no one came here anymore.
And this is where my past meets up with my present. I have thought it over for months after the attack on the castle, thinking of every little detail and each lead me back to one person…Haxzor. I needed humans in my plan…or maybe I just needed humans in general. Talking to myself and rock walls…can’t be good.
Remeber those I have asked to get those character sheets in!
ZOMG O___O It's almost finished..one more week? Whee, ending must be a great one. Then I can't wait to read your next masterpiece ;) How are you Lex?
benothebeno
02-23-2007, 07:42 PM
ROFL his name is HAXOR hes a 1337 h4X0r
Nice update ^^ </3 no dont end it AHHHHHHHH (cry)
SHiKaMaRi
02-24-2007, 12:44 AM
Near the end T_T One more week >.<
Publish the story! <3
Sorry guys but I have to end it, this chapter in Baldax's life has to end but have no fear there is another book on the way, I just need the other charaters to be created by the people I asked. Iladys it's been a while. I'm fine for now but I think my readers want to kill me.
If you guys want to contrabute to the new charaters then please do so...earlier I said I'm dedicating this book to David Gemmell but the Thanks is for all those who have read and commented on C.B! So your names will go down in my book, you will be immortalized!
It's done! I just have to add the thanks to now!
SHiKaMaRi
02-26-2007, 10:44 AM
Man, this was one of the best story I've ever read in my whole life.
Story ending.. I can't imagine it. *Is prepared to cry*
Yes, I'm a retard who can and will cry over a story.
benothebeno
02-26-2007, 03:37 PM
Its done man Game Over man Game Over *cry* Nooooo
This story was great there were some minor spelling mistakes and i hope to read the next book. The end tied to the middle Perfect^^
One thing you took to much time to develop the plot instead of elaborating the plot. The story changed from horror and gore to nice living in da castle even with the cool gladiator fights, the fight for survival better in my opinion. One thing was you should tell more about Steven because he was cool. Talk more about the begging to become a demon thingy.
One more thing does this also remind others of scary Harry potter
Well anyways this story was amazing the description the story telling i could never write anything like this my stories suck >_>
Steves been left out for now for a reason, you'll see! I'm not posting the last chapter until I have all the names of those that have commented. All of your names are here! Especially you two!
SHiKaMaRi
02-28-2007, 09:59 AM
How long will that little task take? Getting all those that commented?
Last chapie T_T
benothebeno
02-28-2007, 03:10 PM
I can't wait the anticipation is ganna kill me Omfg last chaper next good Ooooooo i wana read it ^^
Btw if it does get published tell me ^^ ill invest my time in it for sure
Thanks for all the help you guys have given me. I'm still having trouble with my internet at the moment so that last chapter will only be here next week some time. But for now I have to go to Entomology and identify bugs...what fun!
benothebeno
03-03-2007, 09:59 AM
Aww snap >_>
SHiKaMaRi
03-03-2007, 01:39 PM
Internet problems again? Hmm, many people seem to be having that problem. Thank god for my trusty internet. It works fine all the time.
I started the slow job of cleaning up the cave. Collecting all that could be disposed of and throwing it into a hole at the back of the cave then burying it. The bedding and food I packed up and collected to one area. It was going to take a while to get everything to one place but I would managed. As much as I wanted to stay I knew I had to go, this was the only way to get the revenge I now sought.
Lastly, I looked to my armour, near to being useless I couldn’t just leave it…I would have to find a way to have it fixed, perhaps the other humans knew a way, or even made armour themselves…I needed to stop that! They are not humans! They are…were my people! But you don’t use people…or at least…you shouldn’t use people.
Once more I put on the armour, taking my time to do up all the catches and checking for other signs of wear I might have missed. Lastly I buckled the sword to my back, no use at my side if I was going to have to carry anything.
After carrying the food and bedding to the first cave I stepped out into the sunshine and turned back to my old home…would it too be destroyed? Like so many of my others? Would my life once more be disturbed by those we have dubbed Daemons? Or would this fight be the end? The end of everything! My life, the life of the other humans I was to join, or maybe with luck, the lives of those cursed creatures!
I nearly jumped out of my armour when I heard the bushes rustle behind me. I swung with my sword held out before me only to come face to face with Haxzor. Still in the same clothes that I had met him in. He wore a face that couldn’t be read.
“Can I help you?” I demanded, I really did not need this guy to give me a hand.
“You made up your mind?”
“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.”
He walked into the cave and came out with some of my stuff and started walking.
“Hey! What the hell do you think you are doing?”
“Come on! The others are waiting for you.” He said but just carried on walking.
Acceptance…just like that. I stared after him in shock. When I realized what was happening I collected the rest of my things and followed…not at a run mind you.
Acceptance…why so quickly?
The others are waiting…my new life…
The End!
Dedicated to: David Gemmell, for helping me to rediscover a world I thought I had lost.
Special thanks to: Sanzora (Best friend and sister, aka Annissa)
Icestorm32 (Tom, being one of the first to read, Daemon Lord entry winner)
Yoruichi_sama (Sarah, being one of the first to read)
Iladys (Being one of the first to read)
Ryuu Kiba (Jose, being one of the first to read. Also the winner of the Daemon Lord Entry)
Benothebeno (Seems to me one of my biggest fans, a faithful reader)
Shikamari (Most faithful reader!)
Decado (A great help at all times, one of my first readers! )
Ishida90 (Being one of the first to read)
Nikuwadoko (Being one of the first to read)
Koushin (Read once I think)
Supersaiyanmugen (Read after I begged )
Undying (Who pushed me to write better)
Kootje (Reader)
SLVR (Reader)
MasterWordSmith (Pissed me off most of the time but he pushed me to be better!)
Noo (Read once, someone I know from my varsity)
SerenePhoenix (The reason I can bring To A Fallen World to you!)
Cattaria (Reader)
I want to thank every single one of you with helping me finish my first long story. So you know this exact entry will be put into my book when it gets published. So you will be honored for it.
Thank you all again so much!
*Lex bows* You have all honoured me!
You guys so annoyed at me ending it that you don't want to comment on the last chapter?
benothebeno
03-07-2007, 11:36 PM
Well thanks lex for finishing the story its to bad that i have to leave club bleach but i leave with one thing in comfort i finished your story ^^
SHiKaMaRi
03-08-2007, 05:25 AM
You guys so annoyed at me ending it that you don't want to comment on the last chapter?
My internet went ghey last night, and I was out the night before *I know, excuses, excuses..*
Oh my dear god. It's finished T_T I swear to god, your story is just fkn awesome <3 Publish it!!!! It's one of the best stories I've ever read in my whole entire 14 years of life. And I see my name in that little section there *Forgot what it's called*
Most faithful reader <3 I'm touched ^.^
I will publish it, when I have the money that is. You are one of my most dedicated readers! Stay intuned for the 2nd book, haven't quite thought up a name yet but we'll see!
Decado
03-08-2007, 08:06 AM
ROFL his name is HAXOR hes a 1337 h4X0r
that's right!! :toocool:
awesome stuff Lex. I bet Gemmell would be honoured to have this in his honour
tho he can expect more to be in his name........ :face82:
SHiKaMaRi
03-09-2007, 07:07 AM
2nd book!! *Is excited* XD
DreamAngel
03-13-2007, 07:45 PM
*ISH AMAZED*
WOW!!! As in F*CKIN WOW!!!
Awesome AWESOME AWESOME STORY!!!
Lex, you gotta be like the best writer I think I have read in like a long time!!! I can't wait for the second one!!!
*Waits with baited breath :D*
*Thinks she might faint*
*CAN'T FAINT!!! MUST... WAIT... FOR ... NEXT...*
Aeronolia, you flatter me too much! You guys are seriously the best! I started fixing the story to go into book shape, it's alot of work!
SHiKaMaRi
03-18-2007, 06:03 AM
All the best, Lex!
I need you guys to please send me those character scripts, so far I got 1!
What do you guys think of Rising World as a title? I was thinking of keeping it in the 'world' text...
Aeronolia, you're welcome to make one too if you like.
By the way, I still have to write an epiloge...give me time on that!
Good news, I'm hopefully going to call a publisher within the week!Hold thumbs for me!
Decado
03-19-2007, 09:16 AM
ah, i c.. keep the "world" thing goin
Rising World does sound good, that's 1 in it's favour :)
Thanks Decado! Sanz thought so to when I ran it past her a while ago.
SHiKaMaRi
03-19-2007, 12:22 PM
Rising World is an awesome title, Lex!
Thanks, here it is, as promised!
Epilogue:
“He comes, one with the power to destroy everything.”
“What is he? Daemon?”
“I…I am not sure. He is unlike anything I have ever felt. His power, it attracts others of his kind. Giving them hope, power, things they feed off of. It is this quality that will destroy all you have built, everything…all I see is dust.”
“I refuse to believe this! Nothing is so powerful!”
“He is Lord.”
“Find him, and dispose of him, before he has a chance to use this so called power or destroying what is mine.”
“It will be as you wish Lord.”
“Get out of my sight you snivelling excuse of a seer!”
A stooped figure runs from a dark room, cloak swirling around it’s ankles.
“I will not let you ruin this. I worked far too long for this. If you come I will make you regret it with your blood and flesh. We will see who has more power, you or the new Master! There will be no mercy!”
Now it is officially finished!
SHiKaMaRi
03-23-2007, 06:13 AM
<3 <3 <3 <3
Beautiful way to officially end the story ^.^
Now, I'm off to read the whole story again.
Question...what do you guys think on a bit of romance in rising World? I've started and wondered if I should add in a female half or two...
SHiKaMaRi
03-23-2007, 10:58 AM
As long as it ain't too mushy. I'm not exactly a fan of mushiness >.<
Such a lovely end to your book, Lex :) Oh please do! It'd be interesting to see how the other character will react. I agree with Shiki, something powerful would work well :) Cant wait to read ^^
I write about Daemons devouring people...do you honestly think I am capable of writing anything mushy? You will be pleased to know starting from today! Yes today! Rising World will be available! I've finished the first chapter! Enjoy it! It will have it's own thread!
Decado
04-13-2007, 07:47 AM
cool.
So Lex, how goes it with To a Fallen World? Any prospective publishers, etc?
I'm tryin to do the same thing now, as it were...
RyuuKiba
04-13-2007, 06:18 PM
... I guess all I can say is... sorry for not being here all this time... quite the deserter I am... I better start some reading to redeem myself a bit... (I can give quite some ideas for mushyness XDDD)
No publishers yet but I'm holding thumbs for one getting here soon, I need to print a new mauscript and stuff, check it, reprint then send of to an editors and with luck snag a publisher or two. Ryuu I need that character of yours! Let me know ASAP please.
Gojira
04-30-2007, 08:01 PM
I found the link to this thread after seeing your Lucid Dreamer Thread... I found the thread pretty interesting because I have had that experience where I feel I can control my dreams.... I guess that comes from watching one to many Nightmare on Elm Street Movies... You know how they are... the protagonist always remembers at the very last moment that they are the dream master and not freddy... blah, blah, blah... I'm not saying I'm proficient at it but I have had the experience of being to control my dreams to a certain extent... You know... turning blondes into brunettes... *ahem*... but that is, uh, a different kind of dream manipulation... :Haha
Anyways, I found the link To a Fallen World, and I read your story in a day. I gotta say, it definitely knows how to keep your attention and interest. For the most part, I thought the story was well written but it was a little hard to follow what you were trying to describe during the end battles and I felt the quality, compared to the earlier chapters, kind of dipped. I know that happens to a lot of writers that are anxious to put everything that they see so vividly in their minds onto paper that sometimes the work seems a little rushed. Another thing, I really didn't like the simple names you gave some of your characters... Steve? Bret? Mike? Jake? I know, you are trying to get the point across that these were ordinary people that are thrown into a world of chaos but these people aren't shown in an ordinary world for very long before being thrown into this apocalyptic world and you tend to forget these people were ever "normal." The names seem a little out of place. Think about it... When I imagine a shapeless daemon that has lost his soul to the Twin Daemon Masters for running away from his own people's pain(a very tragic image, by the way) its very hard for me to see it, whether he was once human or not, as a "Steve." But hey, what do I know? Apparently, there are a lot of Steve fans out there... heheh, I just wish these characters had more lasting names than simply "steve." ANYWAYS, I guess its always better to hear the bad criticisms before the good criticisms, right?
SO... for the most part the story has a pretty fluid plot with good character development. I loved the story... The fight with the Spider Daemon was great and I loved the visuals you conveyed in Jake's first battle in the Games. Are you ever going to talk about why that ring he won is so important to him? Is there any special reason why he covets the ring so much? Or did I miss the point completely by reading the story way too fast? Anyways, I liked how you developed Grif's character, it was very much akin to Sapphira in Eragon. Which is a good thing. All in all, I felt you've done an awesome job and wrote a great story. All that needs to be done is a little bit of clean up on grammar and I can definitely see this book being published. I wish you the best of luck with that and I can't wait to read Rising World. Once again, Awesome job.
EDIT: Oh yeah! Jake's first Dragon hunt was awesome as well. Very Harry Potter-ish.
Lovekiller93
05-27-2007, 11:14 AM
Hi, Lex.
I thought I'd comment on the story now that i actually bothered to come online, after a very very long time.
And I must say, I'm in love with the story, I admire your writing abilities.
I'm not a very good writer when it comes to stories and such, which is why you can tell my comments are very short and blunt. If there were mistakes in there, too bad, I couldn't spot them.
I just loved the story, and I heard that you have a new one, too, 'Rising World'. Expect a new fan to go over and read, though I have to tell you in advance that I'm not online often- though I still come on under 'Guest' and read the story.
PS: I'm sorry if I've already posted in here before. It's just so long ago, I can't remember.
Guys please, as much as I like to have you guys still reply to this thread the story is now finished and I hardly check it, so if you have something to say please post in To a Rising World.
Yellow
09-23-2007, 06:31 PM
Last post for Lex's Old story Wewt Yellow wins*Jumps into shadow*
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