Frozen

[evil-overlord]

Frozen in time;
Watching the crimes,
They strike me down
So I watch as they destroy the crown.

I must be stuck;
In a time limbo,
The world has gone mad,
Crime and destruction are everywhere.

Some one save me;
Draw me from the nightmare,
Into the world I remember,

But now I realise,
This is no dream,
My world is gone,
So now I see,
I have no place,
In the new society.



i know it isen't very good i hate writer's block :sad:

[arancar]

is that a poem???? good for you even a bit!

[evil-overlord]

is that a poem???? good for you even a bit!

yeah sorta i don't even know i haven't been able 2 do 1 for months.............. oh well>>:eek13:

[emmasu]

sometimes you do not write for along time, i think you should wait for the right moment, for me, i just write when i feel that i can write, mostly when am depresses, so it depends on you

[iladys]

Sometimes its hard to write a poem when you have no drive or no inspiration.

But now I realise,
This is no dream,
My world is gone,
So now I see,
I have no place,
In the new society.

Somehow, that word spoils the whole stanza so maybe take it off? All in all, I like the poem ^^

[MasterWordSmith]

I agree with iladys, the "the" sounds unnatural. It really seems out of place. I sugest rewording that last sentance, and tweaking it.

Another thing you consitantly do in your poems is over usage of commas and semi-colons. the word "and" does a better job and is less choppy.

And if I were an anime character, I'd be in that location too. xD

[Sanzora]

I like the idea of the poem, it could be very powerful. It's nice now, with elaboration I think it could be awesome!