Is marriage nessessary?

[Seminaneru]

What do u think must we marry or not?
Me I think it's not nessessary but if u are a lazy man/woman so marry.:headbang

[grieversangel]

i don't think that marriage is nessesary, but it helps to show that you are really in love with that person. I mean to make vows and be joined as one means alot to some people ya know?

[Dree]

Personally, I don't think it is. I think it's different for everybody. Most people in my family who were married are now divorced. However, everyone in my boyfriend's family have been married for centuries... so he thinks marriage is.. well, traditional, but I don't think I'd need it to show how much I love him.

[Shiki]

It depends on a person's morals and stuff, really. No, I don't think marriage should have to prove any sort of love. As long as people know they love eachother.

However, there are benefits from it, like healthcare, banking, etc. Yet it could also ruin someone's credit. So it has it's up and downs. And if there are people who are waiting until marriage for sex, it's probably a good idea.

Personally, I could go my life not getting married and just being with someone normally, but marriage wouldn't be a bad idea, either. Expensive, though. x_x

So it really differs from what a person wants.

[Mavvy]

Marriage isnt necessary. :D

Some people just want to marry and be totally committed to each other and give each other their all. Others just want to have fun~

Marriage is just a choice you want to make or not. Its not a requirement in life. (And you can stop at this sentence if you dont want to read anymore of my jebberish :D)

Also in marriage, you get that sex and stuff (if you're the type to abstain from it till then). People also get married because they want to start families and create new generations.

[everblack]

it depends, if your in a long relationship with someone who you love then marriage is the thing which cements the relationship. It provides secuirity in a sense and both partys are likely to be more faithful if they are bound by marriage, as anything they do will be on their conscience. However some people might not be looking for a long term relationship or may misunderstand their lust as love. It is difficult to differentiate but in those situations marriage should be avoided. But in my opinion long term relationships should be bound in marriage, its a neccesity.

[Vampyrelord]

Marriage provides a good environment for sexual relationships, and also for children to be brought up.

ERGH! I sound like a conservative!

[Neve]

/moved to informal debates

I don't think marriage is necessary, especially if you aren't religious. There is no reason why Atheists should have to make vows in front of a religious God, and no reason why two people should stay together longer if they are married. My own parents are not married and couldn't be happier together.

[Vampyrelord]

Just for the record:

Marriage isn't necessarily a religious thing these days. It's a legal process. There are loads of non-religious marriages.

[chiking1]

I don't think that you need to marry, it's your choice to do it or not. Many people marry for the wrong reasons, for example; money. If you marry and you are not happy about it, it would be worst than not marrying.

[Z-man]

You don't have to marry but when you do you can spend your life with someone and show that you love them. You two can then have kids and have a family. Then when you go old your kids will look after you.

[yumisan]

yea...i don't think marriage is a nessessary.if you don't love that person and can't be happier than you are now,i don't think marriage comes in.some people are force to married because of the traditional ways and religion and because of it,some marriage wouldn't last and it ended up in tragics.so better be safe than sorry.
but yet again,if everyone stays single and there is no marriages,generations of us are no longer produce while humans die slowly one by one.i guess human will extinct then.

[crash5s]

Marriage is a crock. I'm married.

All it really does is give you certain legal abilities and powers, and gives insurance via proxy.

Sadly in modern America, if you plan on spending time with somebody you need to mary them. Or health insurance, power of attourney and the like are a mess.

[dragoneyes001]

marriage is not necesary but it is benificial mostly financialy but also socialy.

some benefits include tax breaks, better wages in some companies, and even to the extent of better chances of employment or advance in some companies.

[Thousand Eyes]

Marriage is not necessary. It's a choice. I know tons of people who just live together without marrying. It's also easier for the future if they end up breaking up, because they don't have to file for divorce.

I personally don't want to get married, but I hate how it's forced upon me by parents and peers.

[Kurai-chan]

it is not necessary but some people really want to go through it because it's a sign that they are sincere and they really want to commit theirselves forever to their special someone(though nowadays this is not the case). also, mariage has many benefits just like what others have said.

[Alienor]

I think marriage is a good way to pledge your love... But staying as a couple and staying unmarried does have some advantages... Since there is no contract that keeps you together, both have to make more efforts to stay together, they have to be attentive to each otehr i they want to stay together. It brings less routine. But then, it all depends on your personality.

[Jack Van Burace]

Marriage was a religious deal as much as legislation was also a religious matter on early civilizations. And it IS necessary in case you die, and your wife (husband) wasn't the owner of the house. You don't want to leave your beloved in this world alone, what to say about leaving her/him alone and without a home? Just like a leaving a will.

[Alienor]

Well, you can just leave a will.
In france, we've got the PACS, which is a contract between tow people, but it doesn't have to be a couple. It allows gay couples to have some sort of security too, in case one of them dies, etc... But it's not marriage. Some couples take this instead of marriage, because they say it's better because it allows more freedom than marriage (it can be broken more easily).

[Jack Van Burace]

Well, we're discussing marriage in our own views, instead of the marriage subject that surpasses our own opinions. Some ppl just really see marriage as a comitment, as a medal of valor for that relationship. And they really need it to feel good. Not talking yet about religious ppl, but if we count them, way more reasons to do it, as marriage supposedly ties ppl in the afterlife.

[summer_faerie]

Marriage isn't a nessessary thing to do at all. It is all up to the person themselves. If you are wanting to be married to that person and they want to marry you back then go for it! But if you are not wanting ot be married then don; marry. For me personally I will one day get married. Marriage for me is declaring to the world that the one person is the only person for me. Yes there are many other ways to show that. But that is just what seems right to me.

[m4jqp]

What do u think must we marry or not?
Me I think it's not nessessary but if u are a lazy man/woman so marry.:headbang
it depends on the couple ... normally people that get married are a least a little bit religious, but my parents were never married so i don't see a problem with not getting married ... if you love your spouse and they know it why bother spending tons of money to prove it even more?

[特雷弗]

Marriage is in no way necessary. I was actually just talking about this today, it's like spending thousands of dollars to put names on a paper saying they love each other, then, as is common, spending more money and time to take it back off, I think a couple can be perfectly happy without marriage, maybe happier.

[Minami Ikki]

To most people who actually DO get married, it's a sign of commitment and extreme love. For me personally, I shall practice polygamy. (Religious act of having 2 or more wives)

[candyb3ar]

are you one of those synical people whom haven't found the right person yet and your self doubting yourself...really its not necessary but its a nice option to be tehre to be able to say that i love this person so much that not only do i wanna be with them but i wanna share my life and name...(do i think i will ever get married probably not...i in turn come from a really messed up broken home...and most people can't stand me for more than a couple months anyways...ya i am 24 but i have been bitten in the but by pessimissim...but there is still a part of me the lil girl inside whom would dream to have it "all" in that way...*sighs*...BLAH now i am depressed...im gonna die a lonely old cat lady

[Hans-sama]

Marriage is a necessity. It's a legal process. And it deters people from changing partners too often, with all the legal processes, bcos of the existence of STD. And not only dat, wit civilization, it's necessary for the government to control it's population. It's not like we're in the stone age when the only unit u're concerned of is ur family unit. Man find it necessary to form tribes and villages so certain people do their part in different areas to make time of others to achieve progress. And it creates a sense of belonging so u know who to protect. And ultimately we have a country to protect. It used to be the stronger man gets the woman. If we're still doing it, who can make time for progress. It's not like we have ethical realization dat makes us superior. It's the desire of progress to come to wat we have now. None of the other fellow living things made significant progress on this earth. Of course lions keep to a single family until they die. It's true for any other animals I can think of. But it's not solely for the reason of keeping to one family unit dat we get married. It's for the record so dat the country can document it's population. We're all a part of the bigger unit: the country. So it's for the record. Really. Haha of course dis is only my conclusion after some soul searching to make sense of why people marry. I was told I'm being selfish to plan not to get married. After all before civilization, stone age men dun get married. So it can't be necessary rite? Being a necessity doesn't mean u have to do it though, juz follow ur inclination/instinct?

[.Kozmic]

It isn't and why would it be, it's not necessary, but it is for a family.

[Angel_shikigami]

I guess not. My parents never married and I was just fine, but in another way it is because when my dad died, my mom had to go though hell because he had kids from another marrage, so everthing that was hers too had to be split and shit.

[.Kozmic]

I feel your pain... (no i don't, that must suck) I'm sorry, for your mom

[reaverofsouls05]

marriage isnt necessary and i dont think it ever will be marriage is one of those things in life you do because you can although i shouldnt phrase it like that it is the best way to say it you can do it and when you feel like you can handle it or you feel you love someone enough to make it work (or whatever your reason may be) you do it and it is supposed to make you happy

[Ice Prince]

I've never felt marriage was necessary in the end. I mean if you love someone, that's enough. I don't need a ring and a wedding ceremony to prove that to myself.

Although as a homosexual, I can't get married anyway haha. But that's fine with me, I've never really been all about marriage in the first place for reasons stated above.

[Joan]

I don't think it is. Love should be the only think you need to stay together.
Marrige is a nice ceremony and all, but one can still do something like marrige if you need a validation of some sort. Only without the marrige, just the party and the trip.

And marriges tend to break up, so much easier just to live by love : )

[Pierrot]

I don't think it is necessary, but I still want to do it in any case.
I don't NEED the validation but it's a nice commitment to make and a once in a lifetime thing, in my mind at least.

[anamacote]

It is in no way necessary.My parents got divorced when i was 9 years old.I don´t need it to love somebody or build a home!

[Graffik]

I don't consider marriage as something necessary when it comes to loving somebody. But it does get rid of other things like legal issues about living together.

Marrige is a nice ceremony and all, but one can still do something like marrige if you need a validation of some sort. Only without the marrige, just the party and the trip.

If you mean marriage like doing the whole ceremony at the church and inviting people, no I don't really see the point. Common-laws can love each other just as much as those married in the church.

[Lightey Natsume]

I dont beleve in marrige but my parents are marreid but my parents both encourge me to be single all my life.

[ProtoFunc]

if marriage isn't necessary, then why does the gay community fight for it so passionately when in the end it will just result in the same demise as hetero relationships...... divorce and heartbreak.. ?

a more interesting topic i think.

[nx6]

if marriage isn't necessary, then why does the gay community fight for it so passionately when in the end it will just result in the same demise as hetero relationships...... divorce and heartbreak.. ?

a more interesting topic i think.

Marriage is necessary for the State to feel it can regulate something as fleeting and primal as human emotions. It's about the guys on Capitol Hill getting a power trip from telling what you can do in bed. /snarky

The Gay/Lesbian/Bi community fights for it because generally getting the government to accept your relationship status is the easiest way to force your employer to accept it for the sake of spousal benefits. It also makes legal matters like child custody and wills easier to work with if one of the partners is unexpectantly killed. There is also the issue of simply feeling accepted by one's own country for who they are and not feeling like they aren't welcome in their homeland.

Marriage isn't really necessary, it's only percieved to be because the government and religious institutions have pushed forward the notion it is for generations. They even try to trap you in it through common law marriage. In some states simply living with a person for a certain length of time and addressing each other as spouses results in you being declared married by common law. The purpose is to promote what the establishment sees as a "correct" family, i.e. a nuclear family; made up of one male adult, one female adult, and 2.3 kids.

Ever try to adopt a child if you're not married? I hear it's pretty hard. And the chances don't improve much if you're a homosexual couple or a non-married hetrosexual couple.

[sweeter]

^Great points.

I'd like to add that in some countries, laws provide a greater tax break for married people. Again, these laws were established since the government wanted to promote marriage, which they thought would contribute for a better, stronger society.

(:

[nx6]

Again, these laws were established since the government wanted to promote marriage, which they thought would contribute for a better, stronger society.
Which is funny, since if anything it has done exactly the opposite. The result has been people getting married who really haven't found "the one" and the encroachment of religion into government.

There are plenty of people who stay in bad relationships for a variety of reasons, but there are more who stay in bad marriages for the same reasons plus the added family, religious, and fanancial issues that make divorce unappealing. When you want to get out of a bad relationship, generaly all you need to do to free yourself is pack your bags (if you're living with the person) and move out. Same can't be said when you have to find/pay for a lawyer.

So now we have people livig together who don't want to be together, raising young ones in these situations, when they could be happier living separate and still being with their kids. And kids in orphages or foster homes who are missing permanent parents because they aren't considered "stable" (i.e. "tradtional") enough to get an adoption approved.

It has yet to be scientifically shown thet humans are even meant to be a "mate for life" species. Perhaps the entire system is in opposition to our natural nature.

[Ice Prince]

Those were good points nx6. I never really thought about it that way myself, and I'm a homo haha.

Although I will say it's just a bit sad that we(we meaning us who live in the USA) live in the most envious country in the world as far as people wanting to come and live here and such, and yet not everyone seems to have equal rights. It's sad to me, mainly because I've seen how stuff like that works in the gay community.

I've heard so many stories from people, some friends, about how they get discriminated against. Some lose jobs because of their sexuality, some don't get hired because of it, some have no control over their partner's will of 10+ years, etc. It's very discouraging. Gay marriage itself isn't really that big of a deal to me, but having everyone afforded the same, equal rights is what I would like to see happen. It's 2008 for pete's sake.

[Polosaity]

I will not pretend I ever experienced true love or anything, but I was in relationship before and we all have parents. I took example of what marriage was supposed to be from them. I won't go into details how it ended.

That aside, I believe marriage is utterly useless ceremony.

The man that I love - I do not care if he swears to God he will love me and respect me until death sets us apart, I want him to tell me. And I don't care about telling God I will do the same for him - I will look lovingly into his eyes and if I say I will love him till the end of days. If he will say the same to me - I will believe him.

If two people intend to spend the rest of their lives with each other. There is no signature, no other presence or act that can make the relationship sacred than the marriage is supposed to be unless the couple that wishes to be united until death. Marriage is just a word.

[Bun]

Over the years, the concept of marriage has certainly gone through some serious transformations, but this day in age, I don't really think that marriage--among the whole of our society--is as important as it was, oh, say...20 or 30 years ago. Back in the 50s and 60s it was blasphemes to be a woman and think of doing something with your life other than getting married and starting a family. However, if you asked some random broad off the street (or man, I won't forget you goiz!), the chances of them saying marriage isn't important to them, be it now or in the future, is a lot more likely than it would be back then.

That's not to say it's not important now, but with a divorce rate of 50% it's kinda hard to believe that people are taking it seriously.

[Reyin]

I agree with pretty much everything you said nx6.

Marriage per say is not necessary. I do think that if two people want to have a lasting and fruitful relationship they need to realize the commitment they are going to have to make, which is where marriage has been in the past. These days it seems like many couples simply see Marriage as, well we've been together for three to five years we probably should go ahead and get married. That's where the real problem is. People shouldn't make a serious commitment to someone if they're doing it out of obligation instead of wanting it with every bit of their being. Now, do I believe a title like marriage is needed to make a commitment, no. Also, I'm not trying to say that committing yourself to one person is necessarily the best route to take in life, there is much subjectivity in relationships and who am I to tell you otherwise.

As for the gay marriage issue and gay rights in general, the biggest problem is a large group of people who genuinely feel homosexuality is immoral are fighting against another group who feel it isn't. The problem then, is that neither is really going to sway much to one side or the other. As for the title of marriage, I think the political rights and legal benefits of being a couple should apply to all. Marriage is a historically religious practice and if I'm not mistaken there is supposed to be a separation between church and state. Giving tax breaks to only the couples engaged in a religious union is pretty obviously a violation of this. In addition to this, I know the State of Ohio passed an act a couple years ago called the sanctity of marriage act which defined marriage as one man and one woman. This would also be a violation of separation of church and state. The title of the effing thing is called the sanctity of marriage act. Two words in there that refer to religion.

[Neve]

they need to realize the commitment they are going to have to make, which is where marriage has been in the past
You think? I would have said there were a lot more 'convenience' marriages without very much feeling in the past than there are now. The divorce rate is rising, it's true, though. Something to do with womens' increased rights? I think 100 years or so ago, there were hardly any situations in which women could file for divorce.

As to gay marriage, even if the Christians do regard it as 'sinful', it isn't as if it's condemning anyone other than the people who enter into the marriage to hell, so opposing it for that reason is a bit silly. And I can't see why a suppposedly 'perfect' God would be so homophobic anyway xD.

[nx6]

These days it seems like many couples simply see Marriage as, well we've been together for three to five years we probably should go ahead and get married.
No, I think it's the exact opposite. People getting married who haven't been together long enough, or at least not in as much of a "just the two of us in everyday life" aspect at the time they decide to get married are the ones splitting up. The people who have been spending years in relationships, living together and being by each other's side in good times and bad are the ones who are getting into more stable marriages, because they've already had a dress rehersal.

Now, do I believe a title like marriage is needed to make a commitment, no.
Again, I disagree. To say that a marriage is necessary is saying that you need the State, or at least your religion's, approval for you relationship. A commitment can be nothing more than two people promising to be together from then on, maybe with a token ring. You can pledge the rest of your life to someone without anyone else's help. :mad: To say otherwise denies free will.

As for the gay marriage issue and gay rights in general, the biggest problem is a large group of people who genuinely feel homosexuality is immoral are fighting against another group who feel it isn't. The problem then, is that neither is really going to sway much to one side or the other.

That's what democracy is for.

"Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time."
- Alfred Emanuel Smith

Marriage is a historically religious practice and if I'm not mistaken there is supposed to be a separation between church and state. Giving tax breaks to only the couples engaged in a religious union is pretty obviously a violation of this.

This is why your state can marry you. A Justice of the Peace can perform a marriage ceremony at his offices and it will be exactly the same in legality, no church, chapel, or religion being involved at all. As for homosexuals, that is why Civil Unions exist. But Civil Unions can only be an option in states that adopt that practice, because marriage and such are not federally controlled, they remain state's powers. That is why you can be legally wed as a homosexual couple in Massachusetts and it has to be honored nationally. Marriage licenses are one of the documents (along with birth and death certificates) that states have to honor between each other as part of interstate commerce laws.

Which why this whole arguement is moot for the most part. But whenever these laws are brought up the Fundamentalists go into denial. Literally, I watched them do it on a news program once.

In addition to this, I know the State of Ohio passed an act a couple years ago called the sanctity of marriage act which defined marriage as one man and one woman.
I'm sure there is a court case pending over that law, because the purpose is to overturn what I just mentioned in the last paragraph. States aren't happy about being forced to recognise gay marriages from other states, so they are tying to define marriage so they can nullify ones from other states. This wont go anywhere, because the national government will probably not allow the shift in power in the end.

I would have said there were a lot more 'convenience' marriages without very much feeling in the past than there are now.
I agree.

The divorce rate is rising, it's true, though. Something to do with womens' increased rights? I think 100 years or so ago, there were hardly any situations in which women could file for divorce.
Actually it has more to do with the rise of "no fault" divorce laws and the Catholic church loosening it's own views on the topic.

And I can't see why a suppposedly 'perfect' God would be so homophobic anyway xD.
Because the God those Christains revere and the God in their Bible are two different beings. Most notabily because the God of the Bible preaches tollerance, understanding, and respect for others, along with not badgering them with your religion, none of which fundamentalist Christians practice.

[Slaughteress]

Marriage is taken way too lightly these days. It is thought of as a permanent binding of two people, Instead of the pledge of eternal love it is supposed to be. In some religions it is considered sin to be with someone of you are not married, But personally i think marriage should be the choice of the people involved. Some say to get married is a girl's greatest dream, but its not always the case. In the old days, marriage was a must for a female as soon as she reached womanhood, But luckily the laws have changed and we are now allowed to marry for love, Not power, status or money.
Really what im tryna say is, the necessity of marriage can only be defined between the couple, if they truly love one another.

[Unji-Chan]

I don't think marriage is necessary unless, you are very lazy and can't rely on yourself and need to rely on others. But, I myself say nope, marriage is never a must. We can all be happy living on our own and enjoying what we like to do. Not having to worry about someone else. And we can make decisions by our self.

[Sora]

I don't think marriage is necessary unless, you are very lazy and can't rely on yourself and need to rely on others.I honestly don't see what kind of relation has being lazy with marriage. You can also ask for help without being married. It's not like marriage grants you a special permit to get things done.

I agree with most of you about the fact marriage is unnecessary. In fact, all religious marriages (in my country), that are performed in churches, cost quite a lot of money. You can also marry just doing some paperwork, stating this way you're linked to that person you'll call wife.
We could say that getting married is free but doing it in a church is not. That is to say, you are renting a church for a day (some hours) to celebrate something you call marriage. In this context, marriage becomes just an excuse for all those who like the teachings of the bible to experience something very personal in the "house of God".
What's more, since it costs money, it is not something religious at all. Everyone is welcomed in the House of God, yet you can't get married without paying... that's odd. Most of the priests will say: that money is being used to fix the cathedral/church. From what I've experienced through my life, that's a blatant lie. Only when there is a risk someone might get injured because of the deplorable state of the building, then they will start fixing it. I really see marriage as an excuse of the church to earn money. Religion and anything related to religion must be free. Otherwise it is not religion but a business.

Is it necessary? it is not. It is something you can do if you feel like it.

Will you get something positive from it? as far as I'm concerned, you won't.
It might have some consequences when deciding the custody of the child in case the couple decides to split up. I'm not sure whether the fact of being married will grant the father any more chances to get the child than a father who is not married to his female partner.

I'm not really informed about this.