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View Full Version : Minor stories by a minor author...ME


Reefern86
11-15-2006, 12:19 AM
Hey...I've been working for the past two years writting a book, and i recently needed to take a break. I didn't feel like stopping writing entirly so i started to write short stories. The first one that i want to post was originally made for a FC here on CB, so i figured it would only be fitting. I hope ppl enjoy my stories, and I would apprciate it if you all share your oppinions.

To start....

The Darkness Within

A few days ago a man came to my village with a challenge. He wanted to see who in my village would be brave enough to climb to the top of the sacred peak of mount Dreagin. He said that if we came back to the village with a token from the god of the mountain, we would be richly rewarded. So here I am clinging to the harsh rock face of Mount Dreagin, as the rains begin, and my tortured blood soaked hands begin to lose their grip.
One of my hands slips from the rock face completely and I feel my body reel into the open air. My body jerks to a halt thanks to my other hand that is lodged to the rocks. I feel as if that jerk just brought my mind back into my body, and I quickly scramble to find a better purchase in the rock. If I fail…I will plummet to my death.
Luckily for me I manage to regain my purchase and I look up to see how much further I have to go. The top is only fifty more feet above me. I can make it if I manage to not focus on the searing pain of my bloodied and torn hands. Great! I just thought it! SHIT!
I grit my teeth and continue the climb I started two days ago. If I manage to make these few last feet I will be the first mortal man in history to conquer the dreaded Dreagin. If I am lucky I will be able to converse with God when I reach the top. Or at least that’s what they say, but who would really know?
I feel my body slowly pulling its way to the summit. I am to weary to think. I just breathe and climb. The pace is beyond slow, but I prefer a slow climb to a swift death. It takes me years to reach the summit, but I finally feel my hands pull my body to the top. Unbelievingly I sit and stare down the mountain I had just defeated.
“How’s the view,” I hear from behind me. I turn as swiftly as my body will still allow, but there is no one there.
“What was that,” I said to the wind and rain, “I must be losing my mind!”
“No that isn’t quiet true,” the voice said, and from the clouds I witnessed an angle descend from the dark clouds and alight in front of me.
I almost fell back down the mountain in my surprise, but I managed to stay on the small summit. The angel just stood there watching me as if I were some strange bug he’d just discovered. Or at least I thought it was a he. I couldn’t quiet be sure, and I am not a good enough poet to even attempt to describe him. He was an angel! No other description is needed.
Slowly I built up the courage to speak, “Um, hello!” I didn’t know what else to say.
The angle laughed heartily, “Hello indeed little man. How is it that one such as you has managed to find your way to my home? I have not seen a human in ages.”
“Well…a man came to my village and asked for a strong and brave man to climb to the peak of Mount Dreagin. He said that we may be able to converse with god, and he said that if we could retrieve a token from him, we would be wealthy beyond our wildest dreams. I am the last of the seven men that originally set out,” I said. Telling the story as swiftly as possible. The details of the others demise was unnecessary, and the angle seemed to be slightly restless. He kept moving from one foot to the other as I spoke, as if the ground were to hot to stand on directly.
“Ah! So that is the reason you come knocking on my doorstep is it,” the angel asked me. “Well this old man you speak of lied. God does not merely dwell at the top of large mountains, but expelled angels…they, on the other hand, do dwell here.”
As the angels words began to dawn on me the angel swiftly dove towards me and lifted me into the air above the mountain. I looked down in panic as the mountain, and earth was snuffed out by the thick clouds we passed through. I was stricken speechless. I was going to die at the hands of an angel. What are the chances?
“Well little man you have been great fun,” the angel said and he began to laugh again. “And for the entertainment you have given me I will give you one wish. Think it over well little man for much depends on this wish.”
The angel stopped flying upwards and stopped in mid air, hovering. I looked down and all I saw were the great white plains of the tops of clouds. The angel held me further away from him and said, “Now what is your wish?”
My mind tried desperately to think of something. The first thing that came to my mind was uttered, and to this day I am cursed by it. I said, “I WISH NOT TO DIE!”
The angle laughed ruthlessly and said simply, “Granted!”
With that I felt something stir with me. A pain tore through my body and the angle released me from his grip. I fell screaming from both fear and pain. I fell through the clouds and landed harshly on the mountain top where the angle had originally grabbed me, still writhing in pain. Suddenly I felt something exploding from behind my shoulder blades and the pain slowly faded. Confused and bone weary I looked behind me and what I saw destroyed what little sanity I had left. They were great wings, as pure white and as soft as a swans.
“This little man is my gift to you,” the angel said coming back down through the clouds. “You are to take my place in this hell. You will spend an eternity, undying, of pain hunger and boredom, as I have spent. I know christen you Dreagin, the unclean. You now bare my sins and with them my curse. I have been cleansed by your sacrifice and may feed on the innocent once more. Enjoy!”
A cackling laughter fallowed the former Dreagin as he flew off to destroy the world below. And I am unsure to this day, if it was my crazed laughter or his…

SHiKaMaRi
11-15-2006, 12:28 AM
Interesting o.O

My only problem is that it's from your POV which I tend to find weird, though. I like it from a third person's POV, but whatever, it's' still good.

Keep the good work up!

Reefern86
11-15-2006, 12:32 AM
thx much...i don't know if i mentioned in the begining, but these are also kinda "experimental" pieces. Hence the first person POV...i dont normally use it, sooo...lol

SHiKaMaRi
11-15-2006, 12:33 AM
I prefer reading from a third persons POV, but it doesn't matter when the story is good. Nice work ^-^

Reefern86
11-15-2006, 01:24 AM
Ahh...since i doubt many ppl will read these anyway lol...i might as well throw one more up tonight. This one is alittle odd...it doesn't have a real ending...it's meant to be susspence practice, but if anyone wants me to continue with it I'll consider it...

Hope or Death?


Our scene opens in a small town. It’s a dreary day. Winter is just around the bend, and people are running around the streets trying to escape the cold. Gene watched them from his office. He worked downtown here in Forrester. No one really knew what he did, but he had been appointed by the state. He laughed just thinking about it. “Simple-tins,” he said out loud. He leaned back in his chair and fished around in his shirt pocket for his cigarettes.
As he lights his cigarette he thinks about all the things that he’d seen here. The town of Forrester wasn’t much to look at, but things happened here that happened nowhere else on earth. That’s why he was here of course. It was his job to study these phenomena and to report back to the higher ups. He let out a small chuckle then leaned back forward to look for the reports on his desk. They were under a stack of filed complaints from the townsmen. They were always complaining about one thing or another, and since they all knew he was with the government, naturally all that crap came to him.
He picked up the report and ignored the complaints like he always did. Tomorrow he had to report his findings. He had done it before countless times, but this time was different. He read back over the report, for probably the thousandth time, and shook his head. “Shit!” he said throwing it back onto his desk. He took a few more puffs from the cigarette then put it out. “Clark, get your ass in here,” he yelled looking toward the door.
Clark, Gene’s assistant, came running and stopped before Gene’s desk looking at him. “What the hell Gene!” he said gasping for breath, “I thought you hurt yourself or something! Don’t yell like that if it’s just about some bull shit report!”
Gene looked at Clark and for smiled for a second. Clark had been his best friend most of his life, so it was hard to get mad at the guy. Not to mention the fact that he was right. Clark may have been his assistant, but it was title only. They were more equals then anything. “You’re right,” he said shaking his head, “I’m sorry man, but you know how it is…What the hell am I suppose to do?”
Clark did know what he meant and he calmed down looking at his friend. “We’ve been in worse scrapes then this,” he said, “And we’ve been fine so far…” He trailed off thinking about some of those worse scrapes he had mentioned. The two of them had been in the war together, and they had been in the front lines for what most called the bloodies battle of all time.
“I’m sorry, but no matter what we have been through before nothing comes close to this!” Gene said shaking his head again, “You know just as well as I do what this report means. We are screwed! Life as we know it can end man! How the **** are we going to pull out of this one?”
Clark looked back. He knew Gene was right. He had always been the rational one. They were completely screwed. They were looking down the barrel of a gun, so large that they couldn’t possibly move in time. “Shit,” he said out of nowhere, “Shit, man…I know you’re right, but nothing has been started yet. Maybe there is still time! Maybe those damn higher ups can stop it…” He trailed of. He knew how stupid he sounded. The higher ups couldn’t do shit, and they were all going to die!
Gene sat quietly at his desk. Looking at the man he had fought beside. The one man that actually understood him, and…the only other person, he knew of, on earth that knew what was coming. Slowly he turned away and looked back out the window. He watched the people still running around, oblivious to what was to come.
Clark looked at his friend and walked up to get a better view out of the window. He stood there for a while in silence. He knew what Gene was thinking. The man had a wife and kids. Clark couldn’t imagine how that must feel. Knowing that they all might die, but unable to even tell his loved ones. “I’m sorry man…” he said, not knowing what else to say.
Gene continued watching the people out side in silence. Finally he thought of something, and he jumped up so fast that his chair crashed to the ground. He turned to Clark…hope in his eyes. “I got it!” he said, running toward the wall and grabbing his coat, “Come on…I’ll tell you on the way!”
Startled, Clark ran after his friend. “What the hell could you possibly be planning Man?” he called after Gene. As the door closed behind the two of them silence quickly took over the room. Gene’s report stood open on his desk. A beam of light illumined the report that no one was reading. Outlined in red were only two words…NUCLEAR WAR!!

SHiKaMaRi
11-15-2006, 01:34 AM
I don't fancy their way of talking.. It seems that you'd make them speak those old fashioned english at the start, but 'man' 'shit' and all doesn't fit, but it's still good~