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ExitHeart
11-15-2006, 05:47 AM
Original was rushed so I've reduced it down to it's opening untill I rewrite the story.

Fighting Love

By ExitHeart

Fate is something that we cannot change or avoid…
Can such a thing truly exist in our lives?
Will I allow it to control my life or do I choose to fight it?
Is it even possible to fight such a thing?

Darkness blanketed Karakura Town as the sun slept quietly. Ichigo age 15 was restless this night he rolled around in his bed trying to get to sleep but his mind kept racing.
“Damn it, why can’t I sleep?!” Ichigo screamed out in his mind as he rolled around to stare out the window. As he looked outside his mind started to wander off towards his closet. Rukia had already gotten permission to live with his family in Yuzu and Karin’s room but tonight she snuck back in with Ichigo and went to her space in his closet.
“What was that damn girl thinking…?” Ichigo whispered to himself. In his mind he replayed what had happened only minutes ago.
“Ichigo…” Rukia said as she stood in front of Ichigo’s door, “Can I come in for the night?” the door opened with a somewhat surprised Ichigo.
“What are you doing awake we have school tomorrow or are there orders?” Ichigo questioned.
“No…I just couldn’t sleep, I thought it might be comforting if I slept in here tonight like old times.” Rukia stared at the floor as she said this because she was really unsure why she ended up at Ichigo’s door in the first place.
“Okay I guess…’ Ichigo agreed and left the door open as he went back to his bed. Rukia trailed behind him and went to her closet and shut the door. Ichigo’s mind focused back into reality and he noticed his heart racing. With his heart beating faster than normal he found himself confused on what to do; he soon decided to just close his eyes once more and try to forget about Rukia.

Rukia lay on her mattress with her eyes wide open, she couldn’t sleep either.
“Why am I in Ichigo’s room again?” she questioned herself. Questions ran across her mind like wild fire. And every time she tried thinking of something her mind would always run back across Ichigo.

“Why am I so worried about that fool…?” she thought to herself. There was no point in any of this to her. She cracked open the closet a bit just enough to gaze out at Ichigo staring off into the beloved night sky.

Dreams…when we are fully awake we have the ability to decide what truths we wish to accept. But as we venture off into an unconscious state of mind our hearts obtain the ability to desperately scream out in hopes of reawakening the honest truths that we hide away.

SHiKaMaRi
11-15-2006, 06:47 AM
A little OOC'ness.. But very interesting. Nice story, good work~

Lust
11-15-2006, 01:42 PM
Yo post it the pen and quil stuff btw nice story

silverwolf801
11-15-2006, 04:58 PM
that was pretty good but as stated in the pen and quill

Chiera
11-15-2006, 07:27 PM
I think it all was a little rushed, or that's the feeling I got. Also, the ichigo talkking out loud to himself - parts reminded me of bad soap operas >_>

But all in all, it was good ^_^ Keep up writing! And spread the IchiRuki-love <3

ExitHeart
11-15-2006, 08:37 PM
yeah wasn't happy with the rest of it either I really did rush it seeing where it could possibly go. This first part that i'm keeping is pretty much the only thing that I liked in it.

Vision X
11-15-2006, 09:41 PM
nice story xD........

Chiera
11-16-2006, 04:22 PM
Exitheart, a piece of advice, if it's okay? I don't want to sound like I'd be giving a lecture, I have no rights to that anyway, it's not like I'ma great writer myself or anything..

In any case, if you feel yourself that you could have done better, don't rush things. :) It's okay to keep the story on your computer for a while longer and think how you could make it better. It pays off the waiting, certainly! Let things go on on their own pace, just like in real relationships. :)

Helen
11-16-2006, 07:15 PM
haha..cool Ichi and Rukia it's good...but wher do this love in the Bleach!!??! I wnt to see that)

ExitHeart
11-16-2006, 08:20 PM
Yeah it honestly was rushed and I know i'm a better writer than this, I got up to this point but then got distracted cause the door bell rang it turned out to be my bleach ds game arriving. My mind was not focused on the story anymore so I did it as fast i could so i could keep playing the game XD!!

Chiera
11-18-2006, 09:36 AM
Ahh, well, that explains! :D Well, I wish you good luck for finishing this ^_^ I'm looking forward to reading the new version of this fic. :)

TeHFiLiPiNoCoMeT
11-19-2006, 03:56 AM
I think its nice :)
Go GO!!!!:Domo :Domo

Evanesque
11-19-2006, 09:07 AM
I think it's good too....but maybe this should be in the pen and quill section..if you ask one of the mods, maybe they'll be able to shift this thread there.

Hmm, now this got me thinking...am I in the Ichi X Rukia FC???
*wonders*

ExitHeart
11-19-2006, 01:37 PM
Fixed some of the spacing and the reaspon I posted it here was because I saw this

"Bleach Fan Creations Post up your wonderful creations: fanart, fanfiction and even fan made wallpapers!"

If it needs to be moved then my bad XD.

blueice760
11-19-2006, 01:42 PM
nice ExitHeart i like what i have read so far!
i await for the rest eargly! but do take your time and
perfect the final piece! :D

Evanesque
11-19-2006, 01:45 PM
Ooh...thanks a lot exit...the spacing makes the onlooker want to read the story...

Yeh maybe this is the right place for it...I guess then the Pen and Quill is for longer Fan Fics...oh no..I just realised it...The Pen and Quill is for all other kinds of anime including Bleach and this area is exclusively for Bleach fanfics...

I'm sorry Exit...I dint know about that...:D
Good job again!

ExitHeart
11-19-2006, 02:05 PM
lol it's okie dokie and thank you.

I figured out that whenever I copied and pasted from microsoft word the spacing would get messed up when I saved it to the forums.