Tough Situations

[iladys]

I've noticed that most of the threads here are on relationships. This one is a thread about tough situations that you've encountered while growing up. Death, abuse, family, anything you're willing to share with others.

For me I think I have it pretty lucky. To have a close-knit family, a good childhood and that, but doesnt mean it hasn't been tough on us. My younger brother is wheelchair bound, from a rare muscular disease called Muscular Dystrophy. One in 100 000 people get it. My parents knew the potential of it but they chose to keep him. We used to travel a lot till my brother got weaker. We don't travel as much, and if we do we don't go far cause he can't take it. He homeschools, he stopped after primary school but he has his friends. He can't walk and move much but he can use his hands to play the consoles or be on the laptop. It really hurts to see him like this, Ive stared down people who laugh. My friends treat him they way he wants to be treated. It sucks cause Im away from him most of the year. He's great but this condition doesnt stop, it just gets worse. There isnt much that can help him but he might need to go for spinal correction in the future. My family has it tough, saving enough money for me and my sister's education, his and my grandmother's medical fees (she's also wheelchair bound)..that's why I hate people who say I'm rich and lucky to have all these things. I'd trade them all if it would make my brother better.

That should be enough from me. I might cry soon hehe but it takes a lot of guts to share this with someone.

[Xferox 02]

my mom is on dialysis ( kidney failure), cusin passed away for the stupid iraq war. i dont talk to my family but still have to take care of everything because none of my parents speak english. gonna take the college test soon, studying my ass off. any one got worse?

[Kyoko<3!]

This is a great thread iladys, especially for those who are having a hard time in life. I encourage everyone to share. I find it's much easier to get your feelings out in the open online, and you can get really sound advice and encouragement.

iladys, I don't think I or anyone else here can really help you with your situation, but I'm sure we all hope the best for you, your brother, and the rest of your family. You all seem to be living a good life and your brother is fortunate to have such a caring SISTER (NOT BROTHER) as you. It could be much worse.

xferox, that it sucks when your family members get hurt or die. Good luck on your college entrance exams, I'm sure you'll do well!

As for me, I haven't had the greatest life, yet I think I'll persevere. I've been beaten by my father and demeaned by him ever since I can remember. He has held butcher knives in front of me threatening to kill me after he bruised and broke my body. When he's angry he goes out of control and talks about killing me, and slowing cutting off my fingers one by one. Everytime he gets angry, the only thing I hear is about how he's going to kick me out. Inside I'm secretly wishing that he would just kick me out so I wouldnt' have to endure any more of this, but he never does. I wasn't popular at school and didn't make friends until late high school. I was small and weak until I hit puberty and entered high school. I have a problem with gambling (high stakes poker) and taking care of my grades as well. I don't have anyone really to confide in, as I never tried to make a really meaningful relationship with anyone in high school until it was too late. I was able to make it into a semi-nice state school, unfortunately it was filled with people whom I found I hated. It wasn't until my senior year in high school that I realized that I was (somehow) blessed with good looks (I hope i'm not being arrogant x.x) and though girls in high school have paid me a lot of attention, I've never found anything real. No real connections in my life. So here I am, about to enter my 2nd semester in my freshman year at college, feeling disconnected from the rest of the world. I don't know where I'm going and I don't know how I'm going to get there. I'm just confused and lost at the moment, but I know that I'll stumble upon something soon enough.

Yeah I have my troubles, but I truly feel that hardship really does bring strength. I believe that one day I will realize my dreams and it's because my childhood has been so hard that I will be strong enough to get there.

Good luck to everyone and thanks for reading.

[iladys]

Glad to help. Btw I'm a girl :lol. Life is full of hardships and sometimes we don't have control over it. Things like that can really harm a person but I am happy that you see some hope. I don't think you're arrogant, just something going for you :)

[Kyoko<3!]

Glad to help. Btw I'm a girl :lol. Life is full of hardships and sometimes we don't have control over it. Things like that can really harm a person but I am happy that you see some hope. I don't think you're arrogant, just something going for you :)


Oh you're a girl x.xI'
Sorry lol I can never really tell online >.>

Edit: Though....now that I look at your sig, name, and avatar....how the hell did I not realize you were a girl x.x

Thanks though, for your kind words =)

Yeah, I mean I've just seen so many people destroy themselves because they can't handle their depression. My cousin and ex-girlfriend were both cutters and damaged their bodies. They were just so upset by life and it's hardships that they couldn't handle it attempted suicide more than once. It's scary looking at their wrists and arms with all the cuts and cigarrette burns. Though they both have grown and matured past that point (I believe...)
I almost began cutting myself at one point too. Quite horrible really. I'm not encouraging it, but I know it helps alleviate the pain. When your heart just can't take it anymore, the physical pain distracts you from your emotional pain. I just happened to find that out when I punched the wall repeatedly one day x.x Not a good thing to do though! DONT' hurt yourself just because it's an emotional painkiller! It doesn't make you feel better, you just don't feel it and you're just distracted.

Okay I'm beginning to sound emo and I'm not x.x
Though emo songs are pretty good.... xD

oh and iladys, I'm gonna go ahead and edit that post because it embaresses me x.x

[Xferox 02]

thx rad, im still holding up so far, hopefuly the weight on my shoulder will stop increasing once my mom gets a kidney transplant, and i move on to college and become a doctor

[~Anime4Life~]

a lot has happened in my life but at lest i was never raped. ive had both pyscal and sexul abusse and seen my one and only friend at the time die(he was run over by a semi truck while we were on our way to scout island, just rideing our bikes along the highway). both my father and my older brother were abusive, luckly my mom manged to take us away from our father, but my brother hit me, my younger brother(not younger then me) tryed to protect me from him and sometimes even he lost his temper but now my older bro has moved away with his fiancé and the younger one has became more selfconroling. and about the sexul abusse part, if i knew how to do that spoilier thing id post it(i havent been on here for almost a year)
but currently im fine ive got a loveing boyfriend, and not so bad mother the only problem i have is my brothers and their friend JT putting me down when ever they see me, my bf tells me he wants to pound in JT's face seeing as hes not my brother so he has no right to make fun of me, i like the idea but voliece isnt what i want

[Xferox 02]

a lot has happened in my life but at lest i was never raped. ive had both pyscal and sexul abusse and seen my one and only friend at the time die(he was run over by a semi truck while we were on our way to scout island, just rideing our bikes along the highway). both my father and my older brother were abusive, luckly my mom manged to take us away from our father, but my brother hit me, my younger brother(not younger then me) tryed to protect me from him and sometimes even he lost his temper but now my older bro has moved away with his fiancé and the younger one has became more selfconroling. and about the sexul abusse part, if i knew how to do that spoilier thing id post it(i havent been on here for almost a year)
but currently im fine ive got a loveing boyfriend, and not so bad mother the only problem i have is my brothers and their friend JT putting me down when ever they see me, my bf tells me he wants to pound in JT's face seeing as hes not my brother so he has no right to make fun of me, i like the idea but voliece isnt what i want

looks like everything is gonna turn out just fine, congrats

[~Anime4Life~]

looks like everything is gonna turn out just fine, congrats
yeah i just hope nothing bad happens :P

[Xferox 02]

oh yeah, now just relax sit back and enjoy life while you can

[BrokenImage]

My life has never really been tough... it was always easy for me. Yet i complained and made big deals out of nothing... saying that my life is shit and blah blah blah. But really it wasent all that bad... it was what i made out of it, i made it far worse than it had to be. I dont go through half of the stuff the rest of this world has to endure. I should have been happier, i should have felt blessed... I still have time, im only 19 haha. Good thing i realized it early i guess...

[iladys]

Hey BI, its human nature to think life is shit. We're not thinking about other people, just how we want life to go. There are sometimes I think my life is crap but then I think of my brother and my friends who have gone through worse and I feel ashamed. Not saying that you would feel the same as me, I wear my heart on my sleeve is all. Good thing you realised early, now the future wont be too bad. Life is what you make of it. Carpe Diem, seaze the day :)

[Kray]

By any means - I'm not turning emo with this thread, but here's some crap.

Growing up as a kid, my father was an ass. He would like to hit me for no reason. I remember one time I was brushing my teeth, like a good 7 year old, and he walked in the bathroom, shut the door and started hitting me! I was like WTF YOU JERK! Anyway, I would cry to my mom about it, and she wouldn't beleive me. Any time she would leave the house, I would cry, and cry, and cry, and cry. I didn't want to be alone in the house with that man!
Then he used to also come home drunk and try to get with my sister. What the hell is that about!
Plus, growing up with a homophobic father, I was afraid to be myself. He'd be screaming at the TV when it was a gay topic on the news. He'd call me a "little fgt" (kind of ironic now, thanks dad). He told me once that if I ever told him I was gay, he'd disown me, and then hunt me down to "beat the shit out of me". Granted, he ended up abandoning my family, because of the fact that he "wasn't having fun in life" since my mom was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. So he peaced out, and I haven't talked to that jerk in about 4 years.

Woo.

[iladys]

Lol you're not emo dude. Not good to wallow with pity, right? It's good that he left but how's your family holding up? You dont have to answer if I'm digging, I'm just the sort of person who cares too much ^_^;

[Kray]

Lol you're not emo dude. Not good to wallow with pity, right? It's good that he left but how's your family holding up? You dont have to answer if I'm digging, I'm just the sort of person who cares too much ^_^;

That's very kind of you!

My family is holding up well. My mom remarried to a war vet, this past summer, and he's the best thing to happen to her. My sister is living on her own, and i'm at the dorms in college. Everything in life is so much better without him. :biggthump

[Kyoko<3!]

Ah yeah, my father is ****ing crazy as well. Too bad the family would crumble without him. He's the only one making any real money at our household so if he left my mother and I would just be working all day to support ourselves. Sometimes I do wish he'd leave, or kick me out. I'm pretty sure I could live at my friend's. I haven't ran away yet because it'd probably break my mother's heart. But I wish that crazy mother****er would just leave....and give us some money xDDD

[iladys]

Kray, that's awesome. I'm glad life turned out for the best. Radical, that's a tough call man. I think that's one of the reasons my parents are together. They annoy each other a lot sometimes. What's your family like? Or rather your dad.

[Ushio Amamiya]

First of all, I would like to apologize if it’s very long… I carry away myself too much.

If I have to look back in my past, I say that I didn’t have a very good childhood at all. My own family, relatives, friends and people all around me abused me emotionally. Actually, it all began when my first dream was taken away from me. It’s only a secret that my first dream was. It was painful and horrible. My mom took that dream away from me because she was the first person who ever told me that not all dreams are coming true. This is when the first time I was very sad about it and I started to hate my mom this way. I keep battling on that dream to come true up to this point because I want to prove it to her that all of my dreams are coming true. But still, I’m not getting my hopes up because I don’t know if I can make it to the top of my highest career and relationship someday.

To talk about my family and relatives in my childhood life, I was desperate too. I felt degraded because I knew that I was just a nuisance to them. I knew it because I wasn’t pretty, smart and talented enough to them. It was always my elder sister who got a lot of praise from many people. I only wished that I had that kind of treatment from them. It was only my dad who supported me to fulfill my dreams and ambitions because he believed in me.

On the other hand, I have friends, but I still felt the loneliness in my soul because of the negativity that surrounded me everyday. The reason was because I believed that they weren’t my friends at all because of the same reasons: I wasn’t pretty, smart and talented enough for them. In that place (or rather I say, my country of origin/some asian countries), most people will only respect you if you have whiter skin, a lot of money, sex appeal and good intelligence. The rest, forget it. They would ignore you at all. When they’ve heard that I currently living in Canada, they won’t ignore me anymore. They are trying to please me just because they thought that I’m rich…I don’t like that. If they want to please me, they should apologize to me about ignoring me in the past.

Plus, I fell in love with someone for a very long time before I started my relationship to my present boyfriend. I’ve got hurt emotionally because he played games with me (nothing happened) and I knew right from the beginning that he wasn’t totally devoted to me. I didn’t expect him to love me back, but I was badly hurt because he wanted me to convince me that he loved me. But I knew, he wasn’t the right man for me. I suffered eight years of falling in love with the wrong person. I only wish that he regretted everything he had done. I wish that he read this right now to let him know how much I hate him. He deserves to be punish, you know.

Overall, I thought that everyone could accept me by pleasing them. But I was wrong… I was completely wrong. I realize now that if I do that, I will hurt myself even more. The only solution to that problem I have in my life is to please myself – meaning: I have to follow what I want and love to do. If people are so pissed off on whatever I decide, that’s their own problem – NOT MINE!

I'm tired to please everybody anymore!

[iladys]

Yukoshi, no need to apologise. I can't say that I exactly know what you're feeling but I have faced similar issues.

Many people have thought that people would accept them by pleasing others, believe me I know how that feels like. I've been in situations which hurt me more. We cannot please everybody, but the main thing is to please yourself because it is your life and people have no right to weave it into their own unless you choose them to. Hope things have or will work out for the better.

[DFlux]

I haven't had a totally shite life... but it's seriously had its moments and has been more mentally painful than physically.

My childhood wasn't really idyllic, but not horrible. No major skirmishes and I was pretty tight with both my mum and dad, and they seemed quite happy.

Then when I hit grade 7, it all went to hell. Some bad shit happened, and my mum kept going on about how she wanted to divorce my dad. The rows after that were horrendous (I mean, so loud, the house would sometimes shake) and they were mostly on my mum's side. For a while after the initial breakup idea, I wasn't really happy with my dad, but after a bit I really started to feel really bad for him.

Well, the mother picked up drinking and boy, did she ever go at it (she's not good with alcohol). For about three years, my mother just kept digging at my father and every time my dad suggested an actual divorce, she'd find some sort of stupid excuse not to go through with it. There have been a few kickings out, and my mum's relationship with my older sister REALLY deteriorated to the point where they were having catfights. I listened to all of this silently, as is my tendency, and I seriously internalised all of it. It didn't really manifest, though, until grade 11.

After a summer trip to Europe with my dad, I got to school and found myself unable to care about anything anymore. There were days when I would come home from school and just go to my room and cry for no apparent reason, and then on the other side, days when I couldn't be arsed to leave my bed. My dad was finally permanently out of the house at the beginning of that school year too.

I missed my dad horribly (still do), because we're both generally peaceful people who enjoy each other's company, go to museums together, movies, etc. He was really the only one who didn't tease me or get upset with me because I failed math that year (and I failed BAD... from straight As to F).

None of that stuff has seriously stuck with me, fortunately. I didn't pick up any smoking, drinking, sexual, or drug habits. I'm now in my second freshman semester at a good University, getting good grades, and living away from home. I get along with my mother much better, but she and my sister hardly speak, and I still find it easier to speak to my father about anything and everything (we're really close) instead of going to her. It's sad, since she used to be the most important person in my life, and through her own devices turned that around to make her one of the people I most try to avoid dealing with.


I commend everyone else here too for having the courage to deal with their own problems as well as they do.

[Xferox 02]

it was back in 2004.....the second year i came to U.S, one day i felt i was going to pass out in the middle of the hall way in school, when i came to my senses my phone rang, i answered the phone and my dad was yelling in the cell phone saying my mom is in the hospital. i was like " noooo wayyy..." so he picked me up, when i got there my mom was in the Emergency Room, they doctor came in 2 hours later saying that she have massive failture on both of ther kidney and they should go to surgery ASAP.

for the first time in my life i was shocked by whats in front of my eyes, the woman who brought me to this world is about to die and i cant save her........ my dad went out side while i help her to translate whats going on, they give her Ivy to stop the swelling on her leggs and body. when the doctor finaly instructed me to go home and come back in the morning, i refuced, i said to my mom " its going to be ok, im here", then i just broke into tears.....
i went outside to tell my dad and i see him sitting on the chair like a zombie his eyes were red. i told to go home so he did cuz he still got to go to work tomorrow...,...
i spend the whole night watching over my mom. then my dad and i switch hours to look after my mom. 1 month later, everything started to settle down and they put her on dialysis, during that time i couldn't go to school so i was put on suspention for beeing absent. when i talk to my mom when he was in the hospital bed, she told me that my dad was crying like crazy and apploigizing to her every 5 minute saying how sry he was. the family also falled apart. im suprised i only cried once since she was sick. now the burden on my shower grows bigger every day.

when i was in the hospital i promised my mom that one day i would find a cure so no one else would suffer from this ever again.......


lol thats the end of my so called " tough situation"

[Ushio Amamiya]

Yukoshi, no need to apologise. I can't say that I exactly know what you're feeling but I have faced similar issues.
Many people have thought that people would accept them by pleasing others, believe me I know how that feels like. I've been in situations which hurt me more. We cannot please everybody, but the main thing is to please yourself because it is your life and people have no right to weave it into their own unless you choose them to. Hope things have or will work out for the better.

Thanks for the advice but if I've learned it on my own. I know, we live in a tough world. As of now, my life is back on track and I beleive that things will get better one step at the time. ^_^

I'm just glad that I'll be able to express my decisions to others. :rolleye09