Sweeney
01-25-2007, 11:13 PM
Allright. This is my first shot at a fanfic and Im looking for some advice/comments on the story so far. I only have the first chapter done, and will probably add on more later. The name isnt set in stone either, I just wanted something to start with and post up. Thanks in advance :Domo :Domo
Dreamer
Chapter 1:
As the sun sets on the small western town of Horyzon, a man awakes from a terrible nightmare. He wipes the beads of sweat from his forehead with the palm of his hand, and reaches for the glass of water on the nightstand.
<What the hell...?’>, he thinks as he takes a long drink.
Lance falls back down onto the bed, a small sigh escaping his lips as his head hits the pillow. He reviews the events of his dream carefully, searching for any meaning within them.
<It was him. He tried to kill me.>
It was always the same person, always the same sword, always the same words. The only thing that ever changed was the place, the arena in which the battle was fought.
<First it was this pub, then it was the school, and now....where the hell was that?>
Lance could see the mans face as if he was standing right in front of him, but he still had no idea who he was. He knew he had seen him before, but couldnt put his finger on where.
<Oh well, no use worrying about it now. Busy day tommorow...>
As the side of his face hit the pillow, he fell back into a deep sleep.
..........
“Hey, kid, wake up! Were gonna miss the train!”
Shila shook Lance hard, almost knocking him off the side of the bed.
“Ok, ok, Im up! What have I told you about calling me kid?”
Shila grinned. “You told me not to. C’mon, get dressed.”
Lance stood up and rubbed his forehead. He hated being woken up early, especially when it was for a mission. Missions meant work, and work wasnt his specialty early in the morning.
“Did you bring the envelope?”
“Of course, its here in my pack.”
As he buttoned up his shirt, Lance thought back to his last mission. He remembered reading the briefing and being confident he would finish the mission with ease. He hoped this would be the same way.
Shila watched Lance strap his gunblade onto his back. “I envy you. You get that cool weapon, and all I get is a whip.
“You chose it. Should have trained on the gunblade instead.”
“I couldnt compete with you strong, muscular men.” She waved a lock of brown hair out of her face. “Besides, I was top of my class with the whip. You know how much I love to be the best!”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” The gunblade put a lot of weight on his back, but Lance tried to ignore it. He needed to be as quick as possible when on a mission, especially one as important as this.
The mission they were being sent on was their final assignment from their Garaden, and they needed to complete it in order to graduate. They were told nothing about the mission; all the details were inside the envelope that they were told not to open until they boarded the train.
“Ok, you ready?” Lance asked as he finished getting ready.
“I’ve been ready. Lets go!”
Lance and Shila walked downstairs into the pub below the inn. The pub was mostly empty, except for the bartender and the piano player in the corner, quitely playing to himself.
Lance looked at the lone table in the corner of the pub. <Thats where he was sitting...thats where he was before he attacked me.> Lance shook the thought out of his head; this was no time for distractions.
They walked out of the pub and headed towards the train station.
“Getting nervous Lance? You seemed bothered by something.”
Lance kicked a rock out of his way. “It’s nothing. Just a dream I had last night.”
Shila stopped in her tracks. “Same one as before?”
“Yeah...except I didnt know the place we were fighting this time. Keep walking please, your making me nervous.”
Shila picked up step alongside Lance again. “Sorry, its just...This is the third time you’ve had this dream, right? Maybe you should see someone when we get back to school. The dreams could mean something.”
“I dont believe in that crap, Shila. Their just dreams...incredibly realistic dreams.
They walked along in silence, Lance’s black jacket waving in the wind as he walked. Shila looked at Lance nervously. <What if the dreams do mean something? What if its a premonition...?> Shila quickly wiped the thought out of her head. She needed to a clear mind if she was going to complete the upcoming mission.
Finally they reached the station at the edge of town.
“You ready?”
Shila turned and nodded. “Lets go.”
Dreamer
Chapter 1:
As the sun sets on the small western town of Horyzon, a man awakes from a terrible nightmare. He wipes the beads of sweat from his forehead with the palm of his hand, and reaches for the glass of water on the nightstand.
<What the hell...?’>, he thinks as he takes a long drink.
Lance falls back down onto the bed, a small sigh escaping his lips as his head hits the pillow. He reviews the events of his dream carefully, searching for any meaning within them.
<It was him. He tried to kill me.>
It was always the same person, always the same sword, always the same words. The only thing that ever changed was the place, the arena in which the battle was fought.
<First it was this pub, then it was the school, and now....where the hell was that?>
Lance could see the mans face as if he was standing right in front of him, but he still had no idea who he was. He knew he had seen him before, but couldnt put his finger on where.
<Oh well, no use worrying about it now. Busy day tommorow...>
As the side of his face hit the pillow, he fell back into a deep sleep.
..........
“Hey, kid, wake up! Were gonna miss the train!”
Shila shook Lance hard, almost knocking him off the side of the bed.
“Ok, ok, Im up! What have I told you about calling me kid?”
Shila grinned. “You told me not to. C’mon, get dressed.”
Lance stood up and rubbed his forehead. He hated being woken up early, especially when it was for a mission. Missions meant work, and work wasnt his specialty early in the morning.
“Did you bring the envelope?”
“Of course, its here in my pack.”
As he buttoned up his shirt, Lance thought back to his last mission. He remembered reading the briefing and being confident he would finish the mission with ease. He hoped this would be the same way.
Shila watched Lance strap his gunblade onto his back. “I envy you. You get that cool weapon, and all I get is a whip.
“You chose it. Should have trained on the gunblade instead.”
“I couldnt compete with you strong, muscular men.” She waved a lock of brown hair out of her face. “Besides, I was top of my class with the whip. You know how much I love to be the best!”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” The gunblade put a lot of weight on his back, but Lance tried to ignore it. He needed to be as quick as possible when on a mission, especially one as important as this.
The mission they were being sent on was their final assignment from their Garaden, and they needed to complete it in order to graduate. They were told nothing about the mission; all the details were inside the envelope that they were told not to open until they boarded the train.
“Ok, you ready?” Lance asked as he finished getting ready.
“I’ve been ready. Lets go!”
Lance and Shila walked downstairs into the pub below the inn. The pub was mostly empty, except for the bartender and the piano player in the corner, quitely playing to himself.
Lance looked at the lone table in the corner of the pub. <Thats where he was sitting...thats where he was before he attacked me.> Lance shook the thought out of his head; this was no time for distractions.
They walked out of the pub and headed towards the train station.
“Getting nervous Lance? You seemed bothered by something.”
Lance kicked a rock out of his way. “It’s nothing. Just a dream I had last night.”
Shila stopped in her tracks. “Same one as before?”
“Yeah...except I didnt know the place we were fighting this time. Keep walking please, your making me nervous.”
Shila picked up step alongside Lance again. “Sorry, its just...This is the third time you’ve had this dream, right? Maybe you should see someone when we get back to school. The dreams could mean something.”
“I dont believe in that crap, Shila. Their just dreams...incredibly realistic dreams.
They walked along in silence, Lance’s black jacket waving in the wind as he walked. Shila looked at Lance nervously. <What if the dreams do mean something? What if its a premonition...?> Shila quickly wiped the thought out of her head. She needed to a clear mind if she was going to complete the upcoming mission.
Finally they reached the station at the edge of town.
“You ready?”
Shila turned and nodded. “Lets go.”