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Katen Kyoukotsu
01-31-2007, 06:24 AM
Its been a while since Ive written a poem. I took the time tonight. Please tell be what you think.


Quiet these notions my good gentle friend
We are in darkness but all does not end
My soul still drives, my mind still flies
Away to the end of the world it does send

Me, and the song still plays
You have seen the end of all days
But he’s still alive, and he still does strive
To follow the old ways

Call me a sinner or whatever you please
It really doesn’t matter I’m still on my knees
Trying to forget, trying to arrive
In a place where I have all the keys

To the doors in my mind
To those of my kind
And he’s still there, simply he stares
To my heart I bind

His image, a lad just becoming a man
So much better than me, as from a plan
And I can’t take this pain, my soul it does wane
Evil does work and I ran

Towards the light but not for its good
I just need its shadow to blanket my hood
To him I say, on this foul day
I truly believe that you should

Quiet these notions my good gentle friend
We are in darkness but all does not end
My soul still drives, my mind still flies
Away to the end of the world it does send

Me, and the song still plays
You have seen the end of all days
But he’s still alive, and he still does strive
To follow the old ways

And that pride it hurts me more, than the dying stroke
And human as I am, the life I need to choke
From his veins, for it stains, my sense of reality
And what can it be called, but the old foe we have fought,
She comes for her reprisal, Jealousy

♥ Tess
02-02-2007, 05:26 AM
Good poem katen, I really enjoyed it
(whatever value that holds)

is that foe who haunts you in the darkness your jealousy?
or a image in your soul that your jealous of?

Or did i miss it completely :3

anyway, i liked it ^ ^

rep +1

Ai
02-02-2007, 06:41 PM
I believe it ends up reading more like a song rather then an extended piece of prose..However that isn't such a bad thing as many songs are merely artists feelings written down in prose and with music adapted to them.

It's a nice piece and it's clear the effort which you've put into it. Nice work Kayten and i hope you take up poetry again full time..^^