innocence pure and white

[Lucki]

Can you catch the tears I cry?
Can you catch them in the sky?
Can you keep my heart?
Forever beating till death do us part?

Can you see the child dancing in the field?
Can you see her struggle and then see her yield?
Would you go and hold her, keep her safe tonight?
Can you see that love is really her delight?

She is alone, left with fright
Those dark fears cloud her sight
The rain it falls, in it she will dance
Twirl and stare in a trance

She will laugh it may sound hollow
Her voice will sing like a swallow
Innocence so pure and white
She bathes in it a sweet sight

She is unaware that she is alone
Since her mind is one naive tone
Her parents they have gone to sleep
They wont wake its to deep

She leaves a kiss with the stars
And leaves a kiss with her heart
And preys one day they meet again
But the stars are too far apart.

[Ai]

As i told the other person, Poetry isn't limited to rhyming..And sometimes it's better to make it not so..for instance.

Can you catch the tears I cry?
Can you catch them in the sky?

because you were concerned with making this bit rhyme you have made it so it really doesn't make a whole lot of sense..I wouldn't mind seeing you rewrite it except without worrying about the Rhyming..

Other then that the overall flow was smooth and it was a pleasent read..keep up the good work..^^

[Lucki]

Than you sooo much i really appreciate your help^^ i just have no idea what to change it to :/ blegh...here is a poem i made non rhyming^^..i just like to rhyme since it feels safer lol....

Fates pilgrimage leaves us weary,
Unsure of where the crossed path starts.
So many forks in these roads,
So many directions and all seem wrong.
Footsteps on the sand imprinted,
We’re following those trails before the wind hides them.
The sun is so greedy; it wont let the rain join in,
So with parched throats we follow destiny,
Through this arid region, a snakes path
Passes us, its on a journey of its own.
Mirages and lies come to us,
Blindly we fall a victim to thirsts deceit.
The path we made behind us, is eaten by the land,
It is turned into a memory, as soon we will be.