Poem WIP

[EndlessSky]

Tell me what you think... its not finished yet.

In the dark night the pale blue moon watches over me
but why do I still feel so lonely?
The cold wind wisps around me
as the stars frown down upon me
When will I see you smile again
and trust me with all your sins

[Ai]

When will I see you smile again
and trust me with all you sins

Might i suggest

When will i see your smile again,
When your burden becomes mine again.

Just a thought..:p..You could get a repetative ending word on the last two lines of your stanzas..

But other then that it's a nice little piece and it ought to have a nice finish to it. I hope you'll post it soon..^^