The friendship zone

[Sonuva Bleach]

:eek13: I just wanted 2 know how oyu deal with being friends with someone who shot you down or broke up with you withought letting everything that happened get in the way in my case I asked someone out and was turned down but berore she did that she said that she wanted us to be friends. The difficult part is the fact that I have 2 spend a lot of time with her since we attend the same lectures and have to sit together :sad . how do you deal with the akwardness surrounding the situation since he/she knows how you feel and each time you look at each other you have to deal with the fact that she KNOWS.... *cue "twilight zone theme"*:musak:

[Vladimir]

hmn . my friend didn't say we want to be friends . he just stop talking to me . avoided me like i was a plague .
we were best friends and when i told him, he hated me after that .

[Planeswalker]

Its like you read my e-mind...

I just keep waiting for an opportunity. She might like me someday. However its quite painful to be around her right now...especially when she has interests in others.

[Rayster]

Well firstly in regards to damaging friendships: My best friend who I trusted most turned out to be the greatest racist I've ever seen ... also he betrayed my trust in regards to other things


Otherwise the whole dating thing: A girl (a friend) I liked said she liked me, and asked how I felt about her. I usually keep any feelings like this to myself, but she assured she was not jking.
When I told her, she laughed in my face saying she was only joking
Took a while to rebuild that.

[Kray]

If I'm the one that usually gets broken up with, I'd have a friendship in hopes that we'd find something again. Of course, that never really happens.

I'm friends with all of my ex's, but it's not like we talk on a regular basis.


But if it's a friend and I get shot down, I just have to get over it and things go to normal. But if I turn someone down, and they don't get over it - I get sort of annoyed with the awkwardness it creates. Time is usually the best remedy.

[ginjixx]

yeah, we are the same, like you my EX's are still my friends eventhough what happened to us.... i think its not that personal when you both talk at each other explaining both sides..... but its kinda hard for the first time..... the good will start if you are used to it.....

[Kuroi Getsuga Tenshou]

Well it's really really really hard for me, I usually try to do my best to avoid her completely (Ex Girlfriend) I mean think about it, It's the person who knows every single thing about, your secrets and sometimes your deepest secrets, they know what you like, they know what you dislike, she just knows you like the back of her hand, and if you've had sex, that makes you feel more guilty about it, maybe I'm being too sarcastic about this, but that's my way of avoiding me hurting others or myself!..

[ginjixx]

ohhh i got your point.... but my point is... when you both break up, it is better to have it in a formal way so that both of you understands each other that it is over..... an sometimes it can save your frindships.... that's what i am doing.... ^_^

[sham16]

Hmm for me sharing your secrets with someone you love works both ways... You are not the only one sharing it.. She would be sharing it also.. So yeah both of you would get really uncomfortable.. But as time would go on you would soon patch up old times... and maybe rebuild a new one..

Based on experience having a relationship with someone is quite comon where i am from.. You would start dating by the ages you wont even imagine where you are from.. So yeah we are a bit accostumed to break ups and feuds.. But after a while try to patch up... Remember being in a relationship is not all happy.. You must experience the bitterness of it so as to strengthen you relationship.. You will never know if you really love her unless you are tested...

So if you love someone stick by her side to thick and thin... Or else the first high wind that comes along will blow you away.. and probably you will never know why.

[Sonuva Bleach]

Sharing secrets with someone is ok granted that you both tell each other your secrets. In my case I told someone some of my secrets and she said that she prefered not to tell other people about hers. This puts me in an awkward position since she knows things about me and I know very ittle about her:sad It's a bit one sided and scarry sometimes:whatevah: You know what they say...keep your friends close....:rolleye09

[Kefka]

Most of my ex's are still my friends...even the ones that I broke up with here on CB.

RevRuby is a clear example of someone thats still my friend after we broke up.

[angelicdesire]

for me majority of my ex's im not friends with. only because either they still had feelings or i still had feelings, which made it hard to move on if we were friends. ive had the whole be friends with ex, go back out, break up again thing happen. and to be honest it made it worse. so i don't do the whole being friends thing. even now, i am trying it again but again my ex still has very strong feelings for me so its making things hard.

[♥ Tess]

well, i think:..

most people make friends with someone* they see as a potential

which isn't really good in many ways.

Whats wrong with having a genuine friendship??
Why do you have ulterior motives?

If you really like this person, you probably need to keep your feelings in check until your 98% positive she can return them
(... and please be extremely tactful of how you express them whenever you decide to.)

Seems like nobody really pictures what the irreversible consequences will be if you act on those feelings.

it has happened to me before, instead of making them feel awkward or worried, i pretended he was joking and jokingly shut him down with a "you'll always be my good friend, lets hurry up!". (to lunch [school])

Not every girl reacts this so you should really stop & think next time if you want to avoid awkward situations that may kill a friendship

.
..
...unless the friendship didn't mean much to you in the 1st place...
then SURE, go ahead






__
*of the opposite sex

[Vladimir]

hmn . when uu are friends with someone . then suddenly uu have a relationship with him . the uu break off . how come uu are not friends anymore ? i wonder . even i am not friends with my ex . it has weird feeling when uu are still his friend . what do uu people think ?