to love or to be loved ?

[Vladimir]

hmn . i wonder which is the best . to love someone or to be loved . to love someone makes uu look forward another day . to be loved often breaks your heart ! but to be loved gives uu the special feeling while to love someone doesnt mean he/she love uu too .
what do uu think ?

[BabyLoving]

To be loved. Real life example. My friend has been rejecting two persistent guys for three years already, and they refuse to give up. And she tried out being with one of the guys, but it only made it clearer that there was no chemistry and feeligns between them. Until now, they are still waiting for her. To be loved is definitely better, although one may feel guilty, one doesn't need to feel the heartpain, which is even worse. (:

[~*StÓÑy RèL0ÂÐeD™]

To be loved

if you are loved life goes on peacefully well enough, and you have ppl supporting you in wadeva u do, etc... you would enjoy your friends company, or your parents care, etc.. and to me its better than just only to love

[Vladimir]

but to be loved to makes ur heart break into pieces . hmn . i mean like uu have boyfiend and they love uu . so that is to be loved . but when they dun like uu they dump uu . it's like heartbreaking right ?

[chiriyuku]

If you mean romantic love, then I rather be loved. I don't want to be in a position where I'm hopelessly in love with someone who won't love me back. Seems too painful.

But if it's LOVE... then I don't think it's possible to have one without the other. Coz in life, you're NEED to know that you're lovable ... that you, as a person, are worthy of someone's love. You're never going to feel that way until you know that someone at some point in time loved you. But at the same time, you're gonna feel awfully lonely if you have no one in your life that's worthy of your love.

[~*StÓÑy RèL0ÂÐeD™]

but to be loved to makes ur heart break into pieces . hmn . i mean like uu have boyfiend and they love uu . so that is to be loved . but when they dun like uu they dump uu . it's like heartbreaking right ?

agreed, but the question was which one u would prefer

on the other hand, it is to be loved, but it didnt mean u have to love that guy/girl back.. so it not necessary be heartbreaking

[Kray]

To be loved, for sure.

It might end up in heartbreak once in a while, but everyone goes through that. Everyone gets a broken heart more than once. Yeah, it sucks, but it's the feelings that you get while you're with that person that make the memories the best. However, the memories can end up in more heart ache if you're not over it.

I just like to move on, and hold on to the good times in my mind.

[sham16]

For me to be loved and love back... It is a bit unfair if you would be loving a person if she/he does not love you back... For me that is very selfish...

But between the 2 of to love... Eventhough it pains me to love someone who does not love back... Maybe time would do its magic and maybe just maybe she would love back.

[Kray]

For me to be loved and love back... It is a bit unfair if you would be loving a person if she/he does not love you back... For me that is very selfish...
But between the 2 of to love... Eventhough it pains me to love someone who does not love back... Maybe time would do its magic and maybe just maybe she would love back.

I agree with you.

It can't be just a one-person game. Both people need to partake in the lovin'!

But for a preference, which would I rather? To be loved. :face82:

[sham16]

Ahaha, Well to each his own... ahahaha... But for me I still think it is better to give than to recieve!. ^_^

[Vladimir]

hmn . to be loved is to break apart . to love is to one sided . i hate both . all makes me so mad . all this .

[sham16]

Maybe you should try to find someone who would love you in return when you love her/him.. I know it would be rather hard... But if you do it would be a working relationship..

[Vladimir]

come to think of it . when will i get one ? when will i have the chance when everyone around me judge me by look . hmn . people dun even care how i feel .they only know how to break me .

[sham16]

If people dont apreciate you as who you are i think it is best not to care for them at all... They would only use you and manipulate you in ways you would never imagine... So try to get a special someone who has the same interest in you and you would have a happier relationship...

P.S. there are a lot of people in this world.. For sure you will get your chance.

[A2k]

Without a shadow of a doubt, to Love.

I have had many relationships over my 23 years, some were meaningfull, some were experiences that I am thoroughly glad I had recieved as they brought me on in life and showed me a lot of things that I wouldn't have seen, heard, felt or known if I had found the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with right away.

Some were not so great, and looking back can only be construed as "re-bound" dates, but all were/are a part of who I became in my love life, and I am not ungratefull for every experience I have ever known.

My first ever "serious" relationship lasted 2 years, and I "loved" this girl. It was the first time I could admit to understanding what it means to love; not lust over or passionately desire someone. I knew I must have had some element of real feelings for this girl since the day I first EVER told her I loved her, was approximately 8 months into the relationship, and I didn't even realise what words had passed my lips until after the last word was spoken. They just rolled off my tongue.

She spoke of marriage, kids, mortgaging a house...the whole shabang, and it was then that I realised I could not be as in love with this girl as I imagined or else the fear and dread I felt upon discussing such things wouldn't have tore away at my stomach at the mere thought.

After this relationship ended it took me 5 years to feel I could speak to this girl again after the way she had treated me - she cheated on me with my best friend on New Years Eve. =P

As I look back from the position I am in now, I realise that yes, I was indeed in love, it was my first love; a young and naive love too young and childish to grasp at the concept. I was 17, at the time.

I was utterly loved by her, and although she cheated on me I know this to be true, since I later found out the logic in her actions. She had hoped to cause jelousy in me and as such bring us closer together by cheating on me with my best friend. Poor girl.

Knowing the feelings I felt back then, and the tenfold feeling of love I recieve on this and every day; I cannot stress the exstacy I feel at knowing a true love, the overwhelming bubbling within my soul, my heart, my entire body when I look into the eyes of my love and feel the uncontrollable smile spreads acrss my lips and lifts my spirits each day. THAT feeling, is unrivalled by any adoration that can come from recieveing the same love in return.

It is better to give than receive?

It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?

I could prattle off old phrases that ring so, so true to this feeling, all day long, but I'm sure I if I haven't explained well enough already, then there is not much to understand.

I agree so much with what Chiriyoku said about Love, but to chose one or the other I chose to Love.

[Sting Rae]

For me it would be to be loved. I get a nice feeling from being loved but when someone you love dies, it really hurts and I hate being hurt like that

[silentyas]

I prefere to be loved than to love because its hard to take the pain of finding out the person you love loves someone else

[*Ririn*]

To be loved..would proly be my answer as well...i love to love but to love someone who doesnt love you back or loves someone else is just too much to handle though you gotta move on and learn to let go..talking about it might be easy but when your in that position you wouldnt think it be as easy :)

[DireCry]

I prefer to love.

hirahira

As I can't wait to speak to the person the next day.

[Elocin]

To love. The greatest satisfaction to myself is be able to love people and support people. My happiness is derived from the happiness I give others.

But to be loved is also a very nice feeling.

[♥ Tess]

I kinda get scared when i'm loved by others (that I don't necessarily love back. )

I feel forced to act more sensitive towards them (just to be nice) while trying to dodge a situation that may mislead them.

[because I really don't like saying mean things to people who have those feelings for me]

[BabyLoving]

Personally, I feel that it is kinda brave for some people to love rather than to be loved, because it is a much more painful job. I would just rather not have the pain at all, and live in a life that has no romantic love. Perhaps, it has to do with the fact that I'm not a believer of it. (:

[candyb3ar]

to love, its kinda wrong to hope to be loved or for this to be the answer in this thread to me it kinda seems like you self lacking esteem and that you are not complete unless someone loves you...so in retrospect, love your self to be loved and you'll never have that "hole".

[Helikaon]

To love for sure, I enjoy having that special person in my life in which I can help and support. I wouldnt have it any other way.. Once I found the person I love.. I realised what I was missing in life. Im happy when my love is happy.

[Vladimir]

hmn . to loved someone is kindda good feeling . but what if that person never love uu back ? will it be heartbreaking to know about it ? to know that the person uu love already have their special someone ? how'd uu feel ?

[Fearful Shino]

To be loved, so i can love him back.

[Lucki]

it should be both, to love and be loved else the love is rather pointless. if someone loves you but you don't love them, then it would be selfish to be with them,its like you just want to feel loved to fill the void, you hide the fact you don't love or like yourself by feeling other peoples love around you, it makes you feel less vile. to love can be painful when you find the objection of your affection will never love you back, it makes you feel it is you, your the reason he will never love you, there is something wrong with you, but you must know there isn't, so why do you end up feeling like that. You can't expect love if you can't love you self.
to love is better, you can make as much love as you want, but to be loved can be limited.

[eiChi]

to love is a good thing. it makes u to hav the will to get stronger n better. n u'll get the experience of loving someone properly.

iu'll feel happiness if u know tat u r loved by someone. there's sumbody loving you, isnt it great? it makes u feel great, bcoz u r appreciated by someone.

but it'll get painful if sumone u love doesnt love u or the one hu loves u becoms an annoyance in ur life.

they all just depends. to love or be loved. i choose both :)

[hollow kitty]

I can say without a doubt from past experiences. It's better to be loved than to love! Loving someone matters 0 if they don't love you back.

[Undying]

Both. I can't think of just being "loved" by someone without giving them something in return (as in love).

[Rayster]

If this is just a theoretical question then I'd have to go with Being Loved

I can say without a doubt from past experiences. It's better to be loved than to love! Loving someone matters 0 if they don't love you back.

well said.

[Undying]

Of course everyone wants to be loved. If you're not loved, it's meaningless (whoever wants to be with a girl/boy who doesn't love them, raise your hands).

But you have to remember, the opposite side wants to be loved too, remember? So, you want to be loved, naturally, but so does the other one. So it simply has to be a mix of both, because you'd have to love and be love for a real relationship.

[Ashley]

I would say it's better to be loved, whether it's love from family, friend or a special someone. It's ok to love someone, but if the don't return the favour then that's where your heart can be broken. Also, if absolutely no one loves you, then how can you continue your life? Something like that maybe result in suicide even.

Being loved gives you a sense of well-being, appreciation and perhaps affection as well. It's possible to go through all life not loving anyone and survive, but I don't think you can make it through life if no one loves you.

[rhoden23]

agree with ashley. lol

[BabyLoving]

I still take my stand, being loved. I'm just probably being realistic or materialstic here, but when I'm loved by a particular person. I know that that person would make sacrifices for me. And if I ever feel indebted to that person, and if that person is rich, at least I get to get high with shopping and money.

[SoundWave]

None thnx.. I've never needed "love", I've managed to go on without it so far. Just because someone cheers you up or gives you support doesn't mean the person loves you. Well imo that isn't love, the kind that you get from your parents is more like just caring.

To love is to spend your life with a partner and still be able to live with eachother through all the hardships that life has to offer. And through it all still care deeply for your "other-half", cuz that's how close you're gonna be if you start a serious relationship. To know things that you don't even wanted to know and still like the person for it. To be able to speak your mind and never be afraid of what to say.

You know, to stay with eachother "through thick and thin".

Besides I'm not looking for anything serious and I don't think I'll find anyone "to love".

If I had to choose I would rather "love someone", It would be easier to break my own heart, than to break someone elses cuz I can take it. At least that's what I think, life is a whole rejection process and I wouldn't be suprised if I got dumped.. Just pick up the pieces and move on.

Though I'm good at shutting away my feelings, so I don't think love would be possible, unless someone really wanted me. Someone that would make the first move and like me for who I am.

Hope this is a good enough answer :)

[Saiyuri]

To be loved I guess^^
It's really good to feel that there is someone who cares about you. not just one person but people in general. It gaves us a lot of power to go on!

[Vladimir]

hmn . the feeling of to be loved is great . but sometimes not to returns others love for uu will break their heart .

to love someone makes uu look forward to a new day . but what if the person never love uu back . uu will be brokenhearted . really brokenhearted .

i think i believe there's no true love . except when uu are married .

[angelicdesire]

well both. to love and be loved would be the ideal way but sometimes it isn't the case. but imo i choose both, bc i like to love people and it makes me feel good knowing that my love can help someone. but i also like to be loved as well. its a good feeling, knowing your loved.

[BabyLoving]

Totally agree with Syche. So, guess, both of us would have to wait till we meet someone who loves for who we are, including of all the disgusting habits we have, and that someone would actually not want to change us at all.

Possibilty of that - 0.000000000%. Totally none. (:

[iladys]

From past experiences, I used to think that people couldnt love me. Maybe there were some who could, but just not love me in that particular way, or I couldn't give them the love other then as a good friend. For a relationship to work, you need a healthy amount of showing love, and receiving love.

Giving love to others is what I strive to do, to make people happy and to not feel down or upset, because I don't like seeing the people close to me hurting. Yet sometimes it ends up me hurting really badly, but I have friends who love me and an awesome guy. All it takes is patience :)

[SoundWave]

From past experiences, I used to think that people couldnt love me. Maybe there were some who could, but just not love me in that particular way, or I couldn't give them the love other then as a good friend. For a relationship to work, you need a healthy amount of showing love, and receiving love.
Giving love to others is what I strive to do, to make people happy and to not feel down or upset, because I don't like seeing the people close to me hurting. Yet sometimes it ends up me hurting really badly, but I have friends who love me and an awesome guy. All it takes is patience :)
So you mean like you're giving love to everyone and hope to get some in return?..

If you do that then I guess someone is bound to come along eventually. Sounds like a good thing to do. Spread some love, but dun expect to get some in return, but if you do, then it might just be the right person.. Am I making any sense?.. I'm confusing myself here.. hehe

Anyways making ppl happy is always good and makes you into a more likeable person in every aspect.. :)

[iladys]

So you mean like you're giving love to everyone and hope to get some in return?..

If you do that then I guess someone is bound to come along eventually. Sounds like a good thing to do. Spread some love, but dun expect to get some in return, but if you do, then it might just be the right person.. Am I making any sense?.. I'm confusing myself here.. hehe

Anyways making ppl happy is always good and makes you into a more likeable person in every aspect.

Yes, I hope to get some in return but there are those who don't appreciate but I give it anyway. Treat people the way you want to be treated right? Mm, I know a few people who don't like me but that's just life. Oh I had a different mindset back then Syche. I gave away love but didnt expect anything in return so when bad stuff struck me, I had no idea what to do but through these situations, I know who my real friends are.

[BabyLoving]

The only people I love are my friends, not my family though. Besides, even if its my friends, I would rather be loved by them than love them. Cause if you love your friend, you might end up worshipping that person. Kinda like the way Soi Fon worships Yoruichi. LOL. (:

[SoundWave]

Yes, I hope to get some in return but there are those who don't appreciate but I give it anyway. Treat people the way you want to be treated right? Mm, I know a few people who don't like me but that's just life. Oh I had a different mindset back then Syche. I gave away love but didnt expect anything in return so when bad stuff struck me, I had no idea what to do but through these situations, I know who my real friends are.
Yea very true.. It's always good to know who you can trust

Treat people the way you want to be treated right?
That's what I was trying to say.. XD

[Alex26]

I only love my family (dog, father/mother, annoying brats and grandma) and i say I rather be loved than love, its painful xpecialy when u lov someone and dont even dare to say it, days later, ur best friend is w/ ur anonimously loved girl >_<

[A2k]

Even though I have said it before with certainty, I can now say that there isn't a thing in the world that would change my opinion on this one;

To Love is the greatest thing I have ever felt, and to have had that feeling I am thankfull.

[LilCandyPop]

both... but to choose probably to be loved.
wish someone would love me D:

[BabyLoving]

To be loved doesn't cause so much pain. And if I get to choose, I would rather not have any pain at all. So the easier choice would always be loved. (:

[Sakura_Drops]

To be loved...it makes you feel special and look forward to another day as you know that at least someone cares.

[Kay™]

To love...since i didnt show any feeling toward the person i like she will never know.

[BabyLoving]

LOL. Is it much more torturing this way? Liking someone, but making sure that you would never show it. That's why to be loved is better. (:

[A2k]

That all depends on what type of angle you're looking at it from.

With respects, I still maintain that the feeling created from Loving someone, in comparrison to the feeling created when being Loved is of a far greater intensity. However, you could flip that on it's head and say;

well for me to feel Loved would be a considerably greater sensation in that it is directly received by me.

To use a simple analogy: When Loving someone the feeling created could be described as a burning fire within. Whilst the feeling created by being Loved could be described as spirtually uplifting.

o_O;

[Evanesque]

I think it's nice to have a bit of both - to be loved and to love.

I like the first one better. To be loved has its own special feeling. It's an emotion that can't even be expressed in words.

[Kyoko<3!]

For me, I would much rather Love than to be loved.

Even if I had my heart broken....it makes me who I am. It gives you passion, purpose, and resolve. It changes you, and tempers you.

To me...If 10 people loved me, and I couldn't return any of it that would be worse. It wouldn't be as meaningful in my life. Just because you know you're loved does not make you truly happy.
I wouldnt' have anything that would be truly important to me. I would be stuck with a menial and ultimately worthless life. What reason do I have to live but to love? I haven't found it yet, but I'm sure I will. And from that point on, no matter what happens, tragic or not....I will know that my life will be complete.

To quote my sig:

"Love is the magician, the enchanter, that changes worthless things to Joy, and makes royal kings and queens of common clay. It is the perfume of that wondrous flower, the heart, and without that sacred passion, that divine swoon, we are less than beasts; but with it, earth is heaven, and we are gods."

If I TRULY loved....I wouldn't be afraid to keep on living. I wouldn't be afraid to walk this world alone.
Regardless of the pain, to love is definitely part of my dream.

[BabyLoving]

It is true that someitmes I feel sad that I don't love anyone. But, seriously, going through all that drama was never really my kinda stuff. I went through it like, THREE times. And I'm sick of it, so I would stick to being loved. (:

[A2k]

Ecna, once again I am delighted when I read your posts.

Sometimes people just get the connections between one thing and another, and at other times people simply look upon things in an entirely different way. I can safely say that when I read your posts, I find a sense of understanding in what you write, and the knowledge of the kind of thoughts you might have, makes me smile that whilst seldom few, there are those who think and feel, similarly in this world.

*Reps that shit* =)

[BeeCrest]

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."


Anyways, as always I'll say that it depends on the situation. Being loved is a feeling of flattery hard to replace. There's being hit on, and then there's a deeper sense when realizing someone feels for you beyond the outside and more for our abstract core where imperfections dampen hopes of acceptance. Or maybe that's just how I see it, but you get the idea XD

Where was I...

I highly doubt I've had enough experience to choose between loving or being loved, let alone I haven't felt as if I've experienced being truly loved as well, but loving one person has taught me a great deal which is why I may prefer it. It's hard to hold onto a self-created reverie where you cherish a person sometimes for reasons you don't even know, and decide to take the risk in giving your love to them and dealing with the possible pain of losing them, and they won't even know all of this. I think loving is like a self-taught lesson in handling the experience of making yourself vulnerable to.....well I can't think of the word but yeah.

As for depending on the situation, my thoughts were that an ideal situation would be treasuring someone and finding out they are willing to love you back. I guess when going through this you learn to deal with the outcome not being your dream and/or accepting what you can get.

Phew XD

Edit:
Also I think you can get happiness from both loving and being loved. A sense of exhilaration can also come from holding someone close to you. Love can happen over and over again as well, but it's up to the person whether or not it can be the same as before.

Now I'm just rambling about love in general, and talking through ideal metaphors or something xD

[A2k]

...and such clarity and depth are the reason the Espada wanted you Bee. =)

I couldn't agree more with what you said. ^_^

[Kyoko<3!]

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

Wow, what a great quote <3.
It's all about how we handle the pain in our lives, whether or not we're going to let it drag us down. It is such an awful sight to see someone who's made that pain their life.

Wonderful post Bee =). It pleases me to see such understanding in someone as young as you (not that I'm much older >.>). Humanity just worries me sometimes xD.

And thank you A2k for your kind words =) and the rep!

[Kazuma Shawn]

To Love...God told us to spread love all around..be it be received or not..spreading love is the most beautiful art in the world! haha

[Xkavanger]

I agree! We could give love.. but do not HAVE TO recieve any in return
Friends are the best with this... they share love around...
its good to have both... but I prefer to give ^-^
My Ans: To Love... =)

[teddyen]

to love =D but i'm shy >_<
and i need to feel love too :p

but giving love is the best, gvs you a purpose in life and makes you happy ^^

[Megalomania]

Love is a fun feeling to have, but in general - it's thrown in your face more often than it's returned.
So I'd take to 'be loved'.

[Miss M]

I prefer to love than to be loved...
TO LOVE: coz it's really nice to see ppl happy and stuff... even if it means being hurt or recieving nothing in return...
and to be hurt means you have loved...^^

to be loved is also a good thing too...
the saying "Love hurts" is a misconception... love never hurts... it's the absence of love...that hurts...

[SamuraiOverdriv]

To love or to be loved? Thats a tough one >.<
If you love one, and that one loves you back, then its a clear answer, But if not, its not that nice. But what if someone loves you and you don't have feelings for this person, it can be a real pain too. Its all about the circumstances.

[Nesquik]

To love because when u love someone its like spending the whole day to see him/her and just with seeing him/her u feel like anything's possible

[Guy]

"To be loved" is the same thing as "to lust".

There is a HUGE difference between love and lust; love is to give all the best there is to the person you care about. Lust is all about receiving pleasure for yourself.

For me, it's definitely to love. If the person does not love me back, I can still love her. I cannot have her, but I can still love her. No one can stop me from doing it. If I truly care about someone, I would sacrifice all to make her happy. I wouldn't care about my own welfare. Love is not selfish, therefore, to love will be my answer.

[Sting Rae]

I guess I still prefer to be loved but having someone to love feels good too. It's nice to know that I can love. I didn't know I could before.

[Kyoko<3!]

"To be loved" is the same thing as "to lust".
There is a HUGE difference between love and lust; love is to give all the best there is to the person you care about. Lust is all about receiving pleasure for yourself.
For me, it's definitely to love. If the person does not love me back, I can still love her. I cannot have her, but I can still love her. No one can stop me from doing it. If I truly care about someone, I would sacrifice all to make her happy. I wouldn't care about my own welfare. Love is not selfish, therefore, to love will be my answer.

I agree with the 2nd part of your post. However I cannot agree that "to be loved" is the same thing as "to lust". According to that logic, the person receiving your love (either reciprocating it or not, they are still "being loved") is at a fault for "lusting".
Even if you're talking about choosing "to be loved" over "to love", "to be loved" it's not the same thing as "to lust".

Lusting is simply an intense desire for self-gratification (with a heavy negative connotation).
As a moral term, lust implies a sexual desire for its own sake, an erotic arousal and wish, or intense physical or sexual attraction or craving
Yes I know wikipedia isn't the most reliable source, but I totally agree with this.

When members here chose "to be loved" I don't believe they meant they were talking about "recieving all the pleasure for themselves". I believe in they meant it's just a nice feeling when you know that you're at least important to someone.

We all want that feeling. We all want to feel important. That doesn't mean we're lusting. That feeling is not a sin or a negative feeling. We SHOULD be feeling that way. If we cannot understand the idea of being loved, how can we love? I'm not saying we have to be loved in order to love, but it's the conceptual understanding of being loved. When we love, we desire that other person to experience that wonderful feeling of being loved. We want them to know that they, above all else matter in our world. For those not recieving love, it is indeed painful and lonely. They are not faulted for wanted to be loved.


Edit: Heh, looking back, I'm not sure if I worded this right >.> Well I hope it gets the message across anyway. I'm horrible at explaining things D=

[blueice760]

i agree it's better to love in life.

To not experience loving another in your journey of life, then better to have not made the journey at all.

[Guy]

I agree with the 2nd part of your post. However I cannot agree that "to be loved" is the same thing as "to lust". According to that logic, the person receiving your love (either reciprocating it or not, they are still "being loved") is at a fault for "lusting".
Even if you're talking about choosing "to be loved" over "to love", "to be loved" it's not the same thing as "to lust".

Lusting is simply an intense desire for self-gratification (with a heavy negative connotation).
As a moral term, lust implies a sexual desire for its own sake, an erotic arousal and wish, or intense physical or sexual attraction or craving
Yes I know wikipedia isn't the most reliable source, but I totally agree with this.

When members here chose "to be loved" I don't believe they meant they were talking about "recieving all the pleasure for themselves". I believe in they meant it's just a nice feeling when you know that you're at least important to someone.

We all want that feeling. We all want to feel important. That doesn't mean we're lusting. That feeling is not a sin or a negative feeling. We SHOULD be feeling that way. If we cannot understand the idea of being loved, how can we love? I'm not saying we have to be loved in order to love, but it's the conceptual understanding of being loved. When we love, we desire that other person to experience that wonderful feeling of being loved. We want them to know that they, above all else matter in our world. For those not recieving love, it is indeed painful and lonely. They are not faulted for wanted to be loved.


Edit: Heh, looking back, I'm not sure if I worded this right >.> Well I hope it gets the message across anyway. I'm horrible at explaining things D=

The way I see it, romantic love is actually a mixture of love and lust. If the other person "desires" to be loved, then I believe that is the same as lusting. "Wanting" to receive is lusting. If the person loves you back, she will sacrifice something as well. If the person thinks your conciderate and is humble, then that person is not lusting because he or she is not desiring it. Love is wanting to make the person happy, and not wanting to make yourself happy when in love, at least that's how I see it.

There's nothing wrong with receiving love, but desiring love? To me, that is lust.

Meh, I suck at explaining.

[Future]

i reacon to be loved... cause then you know that at least someone finds you attractive and love spending time with you and stuff... were as if you're in love with someone... but they already have a girlfriend/boyfriend... you just end up getting hurt

[Guy]

Hmm... my last post was a bit confusing, and I seemed to be a little bit overreactive when I first post here.

Let me reinstate: "To be loved" is NOT the same as to lust. I apologize for making that mistake. However, DESIRING to be loved is lust. Lust is selfish, love is not. In love, I wouldn't care about my own welfare; I only care about the welfare of the person that I love. Love is not selfish, therefore, WANTING to be loved is not love at all, at least according to my definition.

[A2k]

See, now that makes more sense, and I thoroughly agree with you on that one. =)

As I said, when you truly Love someone you give your whole heart to them, and save none of it for yourself, since you think only of the other person, which is why Love is such a dangerous "game". (>_<;;; I really didn't want to coin that phrase.)

[Guy]

See, now that makes more sense, and I thoroughly agree with you on that one. =)
As I said, when you truly Love someone you give your whole heart to them, and save none of it for yourself, since you think only of the other person, which is why Love is such a dangerous "game". (>_<;;; I really didn't want to coin that phrase.)

Lol, wait, was that directed at me? If it was, then yes, I thoroughly agree too.

[A2k]

Indeed it was. =)

[KuroIcchi]

to love..i would like the one i love to enjoy all the love that she can get..
causing loving someone is hard and i dun want her to suffer because of that.

[ikkaku's girl]

To love someone is the greatest feeling in the world to me. When I don't have a crush on someone, I feel empty, emotionless (I'm usually w/o crush, so I'm sometimes depressed). I'd rather love someone and fight with them everyday than to spend my life not caring about someone who loves me.

[Lucki]

i find it scarier to love! i mean how painful would it be to love someone who doesn't love you! when all your thoughts are consumed of them, and they don't know, don't care and couldn't give a toss. but at least when your loved it saves you from that pain,and to be loved first before admitting your actual feelings towards them of love. it's safer right? i mean then you know your feelings won't be damaged or wasted.

[Sting Rae]

*agrees with xai*

I loved once and he didn't love me and that really hurt. So it's safer to be loved

[Askand]

I wish to say both, but after some hard experiences on rl I prefer to be neutral. I'm a bit on disbelief about those who say that would love me. For since I'm not a beautiful woman they approched me. I've been on the situation that some people is always seeking something from me so it makes me feel used to certain point. If I love someone I wont hold back I will be for that person always and I will even forsake my own things just to help him out. I've been there and done that and well my experiences were not that good. So thats what I said when I pointed out I want to be neutral.
*looks at the words* Honestly I dont know if I'm making sense right now. LOL

[rd_07]

i say both...

[Guy]

Ah well, time to post one of my boring life stories.

So, I had this crush on someone. She was this really quiet but gentle person. When I tried to talk to her one day, I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. However, she suddenly got annoyed and said that I was "in her way". I lost all passion and moved out of her way.

It was then I realized that I could never bring her happiness. She would be far better off without me. It hurted me when that first happened, but once I realized the truth, it actually made me feel better (I also realized I was being very selfish expecting her to like me back).

So I guess from that personal experience, to love is better than to be loved.

[kiba's dog]

for me to love there is this girl i have a crush on but i can't even work up the corge to talk to her but it make my terrble job worth wile when just get to see her smile

[A2k]

Hm, sweet.

[Vlad]

I rather be loved.
I was in loved with a girl, but when I told her about my feelings, she rejected me. It heart for a wile, after that I do not mind being loved.

[Envy]

I'd much rather be loved. When I love, nothing ever goes right. XD

[yahhzoo]

I would rather love because sometimes the person you love sometimes may love you so it works out it.

[layla]

I want both, to love and be loved, its impossible to reach true happiness if there is one-sideness to feelings, it just won't work out, and i speak from personal experience too.

but if i HAVE to choose one. I prefer to be loved.

[jemz09]

Hmm.. To love is quite nice.. You'd be like looking forward on the next day or the current day XD

Hmm.. I have one short story though.. It's about meh friend, he's a guy who was loved XD

A girl confessed to him about her feelings and after that what he did to the girl was not only dump her but also annoy/back stab her to death until the girl would find another crush.

Yeah and after that he told me that once another girl loves him/confess to him he won't reject the girl XD

funny story >.>

[Waverly]

To love! Whether it be friendship love, family love, or romantic love. I have found that there is nothing in the world I like better than to really truly care for someone else. Loving someone is risky, of course. People aren't perfect and most of the time you will get hurt (I know from experience.) I think that, to be cliche, anything worth doing is worth risking yourself/your feelings for.

It feels wonderful to be loved, but in my opinion, you can only really experience what it is to be loved if you love back.

[Lisa.]

Well I would rather like to be loved, then to love myself, seeing as I don't like my heart breaking.

[L'Arc Enzeru]

hm... i prefer to be loved cuz' everyone can love someone but not everyone is loved in this world so i prefer to be loved.

[Monkey_man]

in my opininon neither love only your self you never will fell lonley neve needy that is the way i am i spend most of my time either debating on here or just reading alone vidoe games anything poeple annoy me as soon as i tured 8 i cooked my own meals never had dinner and spent all my time in my room with my tv and books

[Hans-sama]

To be loved is good. It's a bliss if you currently don't have anyone you're in love with. Understand how the person wants to cherish you requires effort on her part. So you're supposed to cherish her. Reward her for cherishing you because you're worth it...

It's a pity if you realize you're not worthy of her love... 'cause you love someone before her. Then what? You should understand that now you're unworthy of love and better luck in your next life then if there is a next life...

[kensei]

Definitely to be loved. Nothing is more comforting than knowing your existenced is liked by someone special.


Otherwise if it is the opposite she may think you are a stalker o_0

[ClayFace]

To love! Whether it be friendship love, family love, or romantic love. I have found that there is nothing in the world I like better than to really truly care for someone else. Loving someone is risky, of course. People aren't perfect and most of the time you will get hurt (I know from experience.) I think that, to be cliche, anything worth doing is worth risking yourself/your feelings for.
It feels wonderful to be loved, but in my opinion, you can only really experience what it is to be loved if you love back.

Well put... You know the saying, "Its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." To someone who has never loved anyone then it probably sounds like a crock of shit but Love is one of life's great adventures. Love has its definite highs... there's no other feeling like telling someone you love them and have them love you back but at the same time it has its lows... Losing her can be really hard... But i'll always look back at those at experience with fondness and I know I could never hate her. In any case, I vote for To Love.

[Mikado]

It's great to Love, but it's also awesome to be loved (Ego). But usualy if I'm loved, then I fall in love with the person who loves me.. o.O
But If I had to choose, I'd choose to love. It's a feeling you'll never forget.
For more info see the post above^. :P.

[ClayFace]

Yesl, yes... Everyone gather round a listen to the infinite wisdom that is Zilla. Love is good. Hate is Bad. If you are going to spit in front of a girl make sure you don't do it against the wind. I hope you have learned a lot from today's life lesson. Zilla OUT.

[Sting Rae]

I used to think to be loved was better but I'm not so sure anymore because when there's a lot people "in love" with me it's no fun at all. But still I don't like to love because the person never feels the same way about me and it causes a lot of pain

So I guess to be loved still wins

[Anime_Lover02]

To be loved.It just hurts when nobody loves you as much as you will like.

[StormsFury]

I don't think I can pick..To give feels good, and to receive feels good too...

[Shaftronics]

I'm a total giver. I literally want to love. But there's no point loving if you're the type to expect something back. Its what I am, I can't change that. So I usually don't do that at all. My little "policy" is to love those who love me. If you respect me, I respect you. If you hate me, I hate you. Everything about me is mutual.

But I'm definitely guilty on wanting both in equal amounts.

[Neko Bam]

It's hard to say, since real love involves both (in equal measure in the best situation)

[Pyramus]

I prefer to love someone, becuase it puts a really special feeling inside of you! XD

[Miss Murder]

Being loved.It hurts less.

[Xlayer]

If possible both but as i have to choose in this thread, id rather love, since its a rare thin9 for me to open my heart entirely to someone, and when i do find someone worth of it... well i cant tell you everythin can i?

[-=Yanayo=-]

i'm not sure because it's horrid when yoo love someone yoo can'y ahve although i spose i'd rather love

[Steffy]

I don't think either are a correct answer for me. I love to love people, and I appreciate being loved. However, both emotions can't be controlled. I can't control what someone feels for me, and vice versa.

Love isn't black or white. Love isn't simple.

[Graffik]

My preference is to love someone other then to be loved, reason being some people can't handle rejection, but if I truly love the person just having them somewhere in my life would be enough. I'm to paranoid to deal with being loved and I can't relate to their feelings.