First Fanfic

[justx645]

Hey guys, I'm writing a fanfic and I wanna know what some people think. Here's a page long preview:

“I’m telling you…stand down now for face the consequences.” Captain Shosuke placed his hand on the hilt of his sword. With a smirk, he added, “You don’t want that, do you?”
Captain Dosu stood over Ayame’s dead body, sword bloodstained. “You actually think you can stop me, Shosuke? You always were an arrogant son of a—“
“Don’t make me do this, Dosu. I don’t want to hurt you.” Shosuke interjected. He drew his sword from it’s sheath and held it firmly with his two hands in a tense manner.
Dosu gripped his sword. “These people are animals, Shosuke. They all deserve to be put down like animals as well.” Dosu stepped towards his former captain. “I thought you of all people would understand why I have to do what I’m doing.”
“You’re killing innocent people, Dosu. You’re the animal. Now put your soul slayer away and come quietly. There’s still a chance you won’t be put to death.”
“Come quietly? So the pompous—I mean fearless Commander Kurosaki can lock me up for all eternity? I don’t think so.” Dosu stepped forward again. He was releasing a massive amount of spirit force; the air around him seemed to be darker. Shosuke stepped back.
“I’ll ask one more time, Dosu. Stand down or I will take you down.”
“Then I guess there’s no use arguing anymore.” Dosu looked down. He saw the blood on his sword and hands. “She was a foolish girl, that Ayame. How long was it before she became your lieutenant? A month after I was promoted? Come now, Shosuke. You really couldn’t have been that attached to her.”
“Ayame was a dear friend of mine and a loyal lieutenant, and I used to say the same about you.” Shosuke couldn’t even look at her body. He tried as hard as he could to suppress the anger coursing through him. Anger never solved anything, that’s what his sensei always told him. “I wanted to let justice and the law avenge her death, but it seems as though I’ll have to do it myself!” Shosuke ran forward and swung as hard as he could at Dosu, who quickly looked up and raised his sword to defend. The two swords hit, and the pressure of both captains spirit forces collided with a huge eruption of energy.
Dosu laughed. “How quickly you go from docile to hostile, captain. You’re the same as all the others, a pacifistic hypocrite!” Shosuke pushed forward, pushing Dosu back.
Shosuke thrusted his sword forward. Dosu parried and swung from the side as Shosuke raised his blade to defend, stopping Shosukes’ sword inches from his neck. Dosu pulled away and swung, this time a downward swing. Then from the side, then towards the shoulder, then downward again, Shosuke barely being able to keep up with Dosu’s speed.
I had no idea Dosu had gotten this much stronger. Thought Shosuke. I’m barely able to keep up with him and he’s not even breaking a sweat.




So what do you guys think? Could this be a good story?

[justx645]

um...someone...please...? gimme some kinda response here?

[Sandal Hat]

I like it i think it can turn into something but i would like a description of the characters for a better visualization...plus there are a few errors, i forgot the correct terminology used for them because its been awhile since school let outbut i can tell you if you ask(its about the wording)

[justx645]

what kinda errors in terminology? I use loose wordings from all the different translations i've seen (chihiro, lunar, bleach society) and i'm not really trying to put a whole lot of japanese words in this, just some japanese names. I also just say "sword" instead of soul slayer each time because I'm kinda lazy and I figure everyone knows that a soul slayer is a sword (or staff, or mace, or whatever Zabimaru is). Anywho, any tips or suggestions will help...I'm not the best story writer. I've got a little bit more, but I may go back and edit some now because I agree that I should give some descriptions on the characters. I have always seemed to start a story in the middle, I kinda just pick a situation and go from that. I'm also using some of the swords made in the "if you had a zanbaku-to" thread started two weeks ago or so in the bleach general talk section.

Here's a little more if anyone cares to read.

Continuing the assault, Dosu pushed forward hard, shoving Shosuke back. “Come now, Captain. Surely this isn’t the extent of your abilities?”
Breathing a little heavier, Shosuke raised his sword to his chest. “You leave me no choice.” He raised the sword above his head. “Strengthen...Genketsu…” Dosu smiled. He knew what this sword was capable of.
The sword began to glow brightly, and soon the aura surrounded all of Shosuke. Slowly the hilt and guard of his blade began to grow and cover Shosuke’s hand. It creeped up his arm and over his shoulder, then hardened into a tight, black armor. The sword itself nearly doubled in thickness, and began to look more like a claymore than a katana. When the glow began to die, the blade was a cold black.
“I told you, Dosu, I will not let you succeed on your twisted mission!” Shosuke released a massive amount of spirit force, breaking up the ground around him and sending out a blast of cold air that chilled Dosu to the bone.
Dosu shook it off. “You’re pathetic shikai doesn’t scare me!” screamed Dosu as he ran full force at Shosuke. Dosu swung down so hard that he smashed the ground, raising a huge cloud of dust. When the dust cleared…nothing. Shosuke was gone. Dosu looked around confused, then felt a huge chill run through his body as an ice cold blade touched his neck.
“Dosu…give up now.” Shosuke stood behind him, blade to his neck. Dosu’s eyes bulged. He had forgotten how much Genketsu increased it’s master’s speed. Sweat of fear began to roll down his face…and freezing when it got near Shosuke’s blade.
“I forgot how much speed you gain when you release Genketsu, captain. Perhaps I underestimated you.”
“This is the end, Dosu. Give up now or I’ll bring the Commander your head to appease him. There’s—“
“Captain Dosu! Captain Shosuke! What on earth are you two doing?” said a voice.
Dosu took the opportunity to duck away from what would have been his untimely beheading. “MIko…you must help me! Captain Shosuke’s gone mad!”
Dosu’s lieutenant ran into the courtyard towards her captain. “Captain Shosuke, why have you released your soul slayer?”
“Miko, get away from that man, he’s a criminal now.” Shosuke warned.
“Captain Dosu…what’s going on—“ she noticed Ayame’s dead body. “AYAME!!!”
“Miko, Captain Shosuke has gone mad. He killed his own lieutenant and now he’s trying to kill me.” Shouted Dosu.
“Don’t believe him, Miko. He killed Ayame and I’m here to stop him.”
Dosu move towards his lieutenant. Standing in front of her, he held up his sword. “I won’t let you hurt Miko like you did Ayame, Shosuke.”
“Captain Dosu…” Miko looked confused. Her eyes welled up with tears seeing Ayame, her sister’s dead body.
“Miko, step slowly away from your captain. He is a criminal charged with several murders and treason.” Shosuke tried to remain as calm as possible. He pointed his sword at Dosu.
“Captain…” said Miko softly, “is this true?”
Dosu spun around and grabbed Miko, and she screamed as he put his sword to her neck. “You know, a loyal lieutenant wouldn’t even question her captain.”
Shosuke, careful not to set off Dosu’s anger, slowly stepped forward. “Let her go, Dosu.”
“Yes…please Captain, let me go!” screamed Miko.
“Oh please, like your heroic crap is really going to make me let her go. If I let her go then she’ll run away and get help to stop me. But as long as I hold on to her I’m in control of this game.” The edge of Dosu’s sword was pressed against Miko’s neck, ready to cut at an instant. “I guess we’re at a standstill now.” He smiled.

[Ichigona]

You're quite good ^^ I write fanfics everyday but i dun post them here though cause they don't seem to get much feedback ^^

You should look at the Bleach Hangout thread, the more advanced (3rd page and up) ficts could be helpful to you ^^

Keep writting! I love your stuff!

[justx645]

wow thanks ^_^ :doindadom

[Captain BenZ]

Dude, that was awsome! I like it a lot. Can't wait for the rest. :face82:

[dark_knight]

yup! i agree... that was good... please continue...

[ISAMU]

Me likes....

[Tesh]

It gets two thumbs up. d(^__^)b

I agree with what the others have said, keep writing.

[justx645]

Here's another page or so.

Koji opened his eyes. The sky was bright.
How long have I been laying here? How…did I get here?
A sharp pain shot through Koji’s body. He moved his hand down to his side, and felt a warm, sticky substance. Am I…dead? Dying?
Koji tried to remember the events that got him there. All he could remember was flashes of clanging swords, anger, and screaming. Reaching again to his side, he realized the bleeding had stopped. Koji slowly and painfully sat up, and noticed his sword lying beside him, charred from hilt to tip.
“When did I release you, Kashou?”
The sword glowed slightly, giving off a faint heat. “Koji…we lost a battle.”
“Well…I can tell that. What happened?”
“Dosu…”
Memories suddenly snapped back into Koji’s mind. He remembered now. “Dosu…Captain Dosu…I tried to stop him…I failed…” Koji remembered the fight now. Koji had seen Dosu harassing Ayame. Upon arriving, Dosu became hostile, drawing his sword on Koji. Koji did likewise, and a battle ensued. Dosu’s shikai…it was so powerful.
“Kanshou…why am I not dead?”
“I singed your cut...stopping your bleeding. Koji, can you get up?”
“Yes…I think I can.” Koji slowly stood up. The pain was nearly unbearable. He picked up his sword. The scorch marks slowly faded away, revealing the shine beneath. He put his sword back in it’s sheath, and slowly walked towards the wall near him. He could barely support himself.
Off in the distance, he heard a scream. “AYAME!!!”
“That’s…that’s Miko! Miko is in trouble!” Wincing in pain, he ran as hard as he could towards the scream.
Looking down off the balcony, Koji saw Captain Shosuke, sword released, pointing his sword at Dosu, who was holding Miko. Ayame’s dead body lay behind Shosuke.
“Dosu…that bastard…”
* * * * * * * * * * *
“YOU BASTARD!!”
Dosu looked up, surprised to see Koji atop the balcony. Shosuke saw his chance. In a flash he smashed his elbow into Dosu’s face, forcing him to release Miko, who coughed and fell down. Dosu, quick to react, caught his footing and swung down at Shosuke, who blocked the attack and thrusted his shoulder into Dosu’s body, knocking him onto his back.
Koji had jumped down and ran to Miko. He held her tightly as she was crying. “Koji, why is Captain Dosu doing this? Why did he kill Ayame?” Koji’s gaze stayed on Dosu. Rage was in his eyes.
Shosuke pointed his sword down at Dosu’s neck. Dosu’s sword lay a few feet away. “It’s over, Dosu. You-“ Shosuke stopped mid-sentence. He couldn’t move.
Dosu slid out from under Shosuke’s sword. “You can’t move, can you, Captain? My soul slayer seems to have graciously saved me at this point.” Dosu got up and picked up his sword. Holding it tightly, he said “Devour…Kokuei!”
TO BE CONTINUED


I'm using the swords Kanshou and Kokuei, posted by adede and ShadowCrafter. Stay tuned to see more soul slayers and some kind of plot advancement.

[dark_knight]

can't wait for "Chihiro's Awesome Blade of Happiness" :LOL:

[justx645]

yeah...don't count on that one...lol :whatevah:

[cavignone]

not to bad i like it :-) if i keep finding food fanfic i keep reading them :-) maybe give me aidea and force me to write one same day lol. or use in a rpg i kind of working on.

[Sgt.Reaper]

Its really awsome, nice atmosphere you built up. The only tip i could give you is to try to implement more "painting" words. so we can picture it better. It is easy to see the actions but the characters are fuzzy. The way you described Shosukes shi kai was perfect.

[justx645]

I'll try to incorporate some discriptions of the characters soon, and I might have some more up by the weekend.

[Nanashi]

I like it. The story is solid, and the only real flaw is that there aren't any descriptions of the characters, so as I'm reading I see the name 'Koji' and match the name with a description of a Koji from some other anime, so it's really weird for me picturing this, but I'm babbling, nice story, update soon.

[Captain BenZ]

NICE! Keep it up, I am loving this. I have to agree also with character descriptions missing, but I don't care too much for that, although it would make the story more interesting.

A mexican Shinigami... lol

<<< (not mexican, I am latino though)

[AltoK]

Cool !
What about a Mariachi Shinigami, Captain Benjamin ? (lol)

[Captain BenZ]

Altok, have you seen my final version of my zanpakutoh? I updated it one last time, I added a Final Bankai form to it, check it out. I hope justx645 uses mine, it would be really interesting to see it used in a battle. :redbiggri

[Sunfire249]

awesome fic Just. With a little tweaking it'll turn out quite beautifully ^_^

[justx645]

I've posted a little more on my site, www.shadowartsproductions.com.

Here's a direct link: http://s11.invisionfree.com/Shadow_Arts_Forum/index.php?showtopic=170

I've added a little more descriptiveness in the beginning to help people know what my characters look like, and I'll be trying more and more to add in descriptions of characters.

I'm liking where this is going...but i'm a slow writer (because I'm making most of it up on the spot). Thanks for the support guys!

[Captain BenZ]

Awsome job, looks really good! Keep it up, I love the story. Can't wait to see mine in there. :face82:

[justx645]

Just realized I gave the wrong person the wrong sword. Fixed..Atlok, you're character is Hiroshi.

[justx645]

Hey guys i'm sorry I haven't updated my story yet. I've been busy and I'm actualy thinking about doing this on a weekly basis until I reach a stopping point or something. Mayhaps I'll put it up on my own site. I think if you guys like it enough I'll try to actually plot out a huge story line and everything. Tell me what you guys think and I'll try to adhere to what you guys want.

[justx645]

Here's another little blip, stepping away from the fight i left off at and showcasing a new character. I'll be getting back to the fight between Shosuke and Dosu soon, as well as probably starting another fight between Ankashi (the new character i'm introducing) and Hiroshi, the captain I introduced at the end of my last update.

Chapter 2
Sasuke walked into the square, as he did every day. Walking over to Sakura’s booth, as he did every day. But today was different. Today was the day he would ask her to marry him.
“Hey Sakura!”
“Hey Sasuke!” Sakura beamed as the man she loved walked toward her. When they met, they hugged. Sasuke was nervous, and she could tell.
“Sakura…we need to talk.” Sasuke was smiling…but was shaking just as bad.
“About what, dear? Ever since you finally got accepted into the Gotei 13 you’ve been nervous about everything!”
“Sakura…I want you to come live with me in the Court of Pure Souls.”
“But Sasuke…I am not a shinigami. I have no spirit force like you do. The only way I could go into the Court of Pure Souls with you is to be your wife!”
“Exactly, my love. Marry me!” Sasuke kneeled down. He revealed a small ring, and lifted her hand.
“Oh my love! Yes! Yes I’ll marry you!” The ring was placed onto her finger. The two embraced and then Sasuke made the announcement to all in the public square that day.
A man walked up. Shrouded in dark garments, he walked past Sasuke and Sakura. Sasuke realized he didn’t know who this man was, so he stopped him by placing his hand on his shoulder. “You sir! I would like to invite you to our engagement party!”
The man shrugged Sasuke’s hand off. “I ain’t interested.” he said gruffly.
“But sir, you must! I insist!”
“Touch me again. See if I’dn’t kill you dead.” The man pulled back his robe to reveal a sword. His face was hidden under a dark hood.
“Sir, only shinigami are allowed to carry soul slayers around. As a newly appointed member of the 7th squad I will have to ask you to give me that sword.” Sasuke turned to his new bride-to-be. “Sakura, please go home now and tell your family we are to be wed. I will meet you after I deal with this.”
“Yes, my love.”
Sasuke turned to face the man. “Sir, would you please relinquish your soul slayer?”
“Screw you. This is sword’s mine and ain’t nobody else’s. I’d prefer killin’ you ‘fore I handed it to you.” The man drew his sword.
“Sir, I will have to ask you to stand down.” Sasuke drew his sword.
The man swung at Sasuke, who easily matched the speed and blocked. “If that’s as fast as you can attack then I’m afraid this battle is over, sir. I am the 9th seat officer in the 7th squad, Hatake Sasuke. Give me your soul slayer.”
Sasuke’s blade began to shine. Confused, Sasuke tried to pull back, but he couldn’t. “No…” the man said as he raised his face for Sasuke to see. His eyes glowed a bright yellow. “You give me your soul slayer.” Sasuke’s sword shined brighter. “Whisper…Sanzoku.”
Sasuke’s sword stopped shining and fell to the ground. It’s spirit force was completely drained. The man raised his sword, readying for attack. Sasuke couldn’t move, all he could do was stammer out the words “Who…are…you?”
“Ex-lieutenant of the 3rd squad of the Gotei 13, Kyuzo Ankashi.” He swung down.





Tell me what you guys think. As always, you can read the whole story so far here: http://s11.invisionfree.com/Shadow_Arts_Forum/index.php?showtopic=170&st=0&#entry1490433
Thanks for the support!

[cavignone]

<cheer> keep it up i liek thw whole story feel so far. :-)

[Captain BenZ]

Nice, as always! I wonder who the mysterious man is...

[justx645]

You people rock. But from now on I think I'll be putting my story on my site's forum because it goes there first and that way I don't have to bother posting and reposting everything. Just go HERE (http://s11.invisionfree.com/Shadow_Arts_Forum/index.php?showtopic=170&st=0#entry1490433) to check out the entire story if you haven't read yet. It's been changed a little here and there, adding some descriptions (especially the beginning). Go give it a read over and tell me what you guys think. I kinda left it off at a "commercial cliff-hanger" this time.

[General Cox]

I dont think he needs to add in details like how tall he is or what colour of hair he has at that time, its like jumping into the action and then he will go back and think on what happend, and ass in thsoe bits of the detail as he goes along. I thought it was very good, i wanted to read more :P

im currently writing one myself actually, i was wondering if anyone would like to give me feedback on it before i release it to everyone on the forums.

[Captain BenZ]

Awsome job justx645! Keep it up!

Yeah, I'm thinking of writing my own fanfic, but my story with my Zanpaku-to.

[justx645]

Wow guys sorry I haven't updated in a while I'll get back to work on the story ASAP. i've been spending my time studying and working on an AMV that I just got done with. I'll have an update to the story ASAP.

[Captain BenZ]

Hey, justx645, check out our forum battle/fanfic in the "if you had a zanpaku-to" thread. I left a little message for you at the end. :face82:

[justx645]

Okay peeps expect more on my story (as I've been inspired to write more now that I'm done with my AMV) here soon as I'm putting together the rest of chapter 2 and parts of chapter 3

[justx645]

http://s11.invisionfree.com/Shadow_Arts_Forum/index.php?showtopic=170

Okay guys, go check it out. I finished up chapter 2 and the fight between Dosu and Shosuke, and am currently working on chapter 3. Give me some feedback.

[Captain BenZ]

Nice, the fight between Shosuke and Dosu was short, but sweet.

I have been inspired to finish up on that battle I 1st started writing. Hmm, wonder what Dosu has planned... :eek13:

[vulpix13]

http://s11.invisionfree.com/Shadow_Arts_Forum/index.php?showtopic=170

Okay guys, go check it out. I finished up chapter 2 and the fight between Dosu and Shosuke, and am currently working on chapter 3. Give me some feedback.

It was cool dude, looking forward to see whats happening next, plz dont take too long with the next part.

[justx645]

Yeah I'm sorry i took so long. It's just that I have SO much work here at college.

[justx645]

Hey all, I'm looking for some cool Japanese sounding names for my story. Anyone got any ideas? Just list some here and maybe the name will pop up in my story. If the name has a cool meaning that's a plus. For Example:
Fudoumyouou Hayashida, which means "The Immovable Forest."

[justx645]

I've got a little more up so far, about a fourth of the 3rd chapter up.

http://s11.invisionfree.com/Shadow_Arts_Forum/index.php?showtopic=170

Read up and tell me what you think.

[Captain BenZ]

Awsome job, once again.

Can't wait for the next part of the story. I got friends excited to see what happens next.

[justx645]

Okay guys I'll be posting up more of my story soon, like tomorrow, so look forward to the rest of chapter 3 and perhaps part of 4. ^_^;

[Captain BenZ]

Sweet.

DAMN, it won't let me put just that word only...

[justx645]

Hehe...I'll be posting up the rest of 3 this afternoon.

[fracturedwings01]

you should post this on Fanfiction.net they need more bleach fics !!

[justx645]

I'm thinking about that right now.

The rest of chapter 3 is up. I'm starting chapter 4 soon. Keep reading! Tell me what you guys think.

http://s11.invisionfree.com/Shadow_Arts_Forum/index.php?showtopic=170&st=0#entry1585298
Check it out and leave me some feedback! I can't keep writing if I don't know you guys are liking it.

[Captain BenZ]

It's just as I expected, came out very well written and very descriptive. Although, it would actually help to see the description of the character, or at least a description of the character before a battle, or something. Eh, that's just my opinion though, not saying it would help the story out immensly, although it would add flavor too it. :face82:

Seeing the end of the chapter with Captain Tadokoro chanting his Bankai, it has got me killing to read more. My friends actually now wait on the story like this was a manga release or something, ever since I showed them the "if you had a zanpaku-to" thread that led into a story.

BTW, where is this fanfict you're writing on Fanfiction.net? Do you mind providing a link to it, if it isn't too much trouble?

Am I the only person on here to comment on his fanfic lately?

[justx645]

I might put this story up on fanfiction.net. I gave it a name finally. Pride and Nobility. I like that name.

Look, people, I know SOMEONE is reading this story. The forum page where I posted the story just got an extra 20 hits on it. Someone's readin this, so I'd like some real feedback. Tell me what you like, don't like.

[dark_knight]

...Tell me what you like, don't like.

i like the story. i like the way it is written and i like the flow of events. i also like the characters. though sometimes they might lack description (just a little), i find them likeable because i can tell that each one has been given his own attitudes and characteristics.

i do not like, however, the long waiting time between the chapters!!!! damn it justx645!! maybe you should hire a staff or something :face82:

but then again, maybe it's the quality of the writing that makes me impatient... it's good, and i hate waiting for it :headbang:

keep up the good work bro :)

Edit:

“Let the trail commence.” Commander Kurosaki always was straight to business.

hey dude, maybe you meant trial? :)

[justx645]

hey dude, maybe you meant trial? :)

Heh...yeah I think you're right. It was late when I was writing. Thanks for the spell check. Fixed.

As for why it takes so darn long to put out a chapter, it's because
A) I'm a college student
B) I have a life outside of Bleach
C) Writing an entirely original story is harder than I thought it would be
and D) I'm just plain lazy.

So hush about it. Maybe I should get an animator...someone to draw the characters/swords so that I don't have to be descriptive. Anyone care to offer?

[justx645]

Okay people expect some of chapter 4 to be coming out soon. I'm trying to work on this story as much as possible, and right now I'm sick so I have a chance to do nothing. Expect some more of the story sometime in the middle of next week. Also, vote in the poll I just put up. I figured if people don't wanna leave me feedback (except for dark_knight and Cap'n Ben) they'll at least vote in a poll.

Okay peeps, Ankashi is fighting Rin who just released his bankai, and Captain Hiroshi is on his way to the same fight. Captain Hisao is a jerk who seems like he might have some kinda grudge, and Dosu is still on the loose with Shosuke on his tail. Stay tuned!

[cavignone]

well i still enjoying the fanfic. starting to think i should add to my site a link to yours lol. but i been writing more of mine just not add to my site yet :-)

still hoing my soul slayer might make a appaercance lol. never know even if if it used by cannon fodder char. can not wait till the next segment.

[justx645]

Cavignone, you mean the zanpaku-to you made in "If you had a zanpaku-to" thread? Carnage, right?

[Captain BenZ]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he is.

[vulpix13]

Here's some feedback, dude i love ur fic, i do think it's better that bleach itself at times. Keep it up dude, maybe add a few more characters to the plot, up to you though

[cavignone]

correct that my sword should be a link under my sig soo for it if i remember to do it lol. and on my website if you need a idea for a char can use mine. got basic mind set and ideals there already ;-)

[Captain BenZ]

I'm going to go out of my way to post all the Zanpaku-to's in the "if you had a zanpaku-to" thread and link them. I'm only posting the ones worthy of being put up. No crap like "I would name mine this and that" or "My sword would have the power to kick all your swords asses!"

I will go by username then the name of the Zanpaku-to.

[justx645]

Cap'n Ben, you're cool.

[Captain BenZ]

Username / Zanpaku-to's name
adede (Kashou) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=59465&postcount=11)
yukino_silvermaine (Yukino) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=61150&postcount=18)
Shiko Yashio (Kazehime) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=61492&postcount=21)
Shinsou (Kamaitachi) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=62525&postcount=25)
Uglywombat2004 (Kuruoshii Odoriko) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=63101&postcount=27)
Thaliel (Densetsu) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=63144&postcount=29)
ISAMU (Amaya) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=63279&postcount=30)
Human Zangetzu (Zakia) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=65221&postcount=35)
Ichigo991 (Shusaku) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=65274&postcount=37)
justx645 (Genken) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=67522&postcount=38)
RobCon (Akamaru) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=67537&postcount=39)
Shadow Crafter (Kokuei Kurieetaa) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=67767&postcount=41)
Kirin (Senko) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=68290&postcount=43)
Apocalypse (Apocalypse) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=68344&postcount=44)
Hasuke (Chikyoujin) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=68687&postcount=52)
dark_knight (Sanzoku) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=70276&postcount=53)
Aruko (Konpaku) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=70688&postcount=56)
YamiJin (ShinRyuu) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=75888&postcount=65)
Dauragon (Densetsu) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=75918&postcount=66)
cavigone (Carnage) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=76361&postcount=72)
ISAMU (Akako) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=76566&postcount=75) INCOMPLETE
Soul_Society (Maken) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=77616&postcount=78)
Altok (Akeno Kirahana) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=79569&postcount=104)
Equilibrium_Xero (Fukinkou) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=84699&postcount=141)
NikitaDarkstar (Niffelblade) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=85208&postcount=143)
Lunar (Kyoumou) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=85231&postcount=145)
Dooh (Susanoo) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=85570&postcount=147)
alderuz (Kashoku) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=86019&postcount=156)
BILSHTIEN (Ikazuchu-te) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=86329&postcount=164)
Byakuya (Amatsu) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=86350&postcount=166) (It had no name so I gave it one, meaning "heavenly")
NykylaiHellray (?) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=86521&postcount=168)
Devonian (Enzeru-jitsu or Gongen-gi) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=87143&postcount=197)
Captain Benjamin (Shikujo) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=111958&postcount=399)
vulpix13 (Tsurugihime) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=91503&postcount=211)
liuns (Kumori) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=92247&postcount=213)
teichou (Girochin) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=96405&postcount=306)
vulpix13 (Hashikeshu) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=96648&postcount=307)
Sonomakid21 ("Swift Step") (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=97605&postcount=314)
Glitch (Shenlong) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=100755&postcount=336)
brolijc (Zanhime) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=102924&postcount=351)
PyrO (Saysundou) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=104821&postcount=356)
Mayoru_Bukiya (Namafungetsu) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=104945&postcount=360)
Hasuke (Shuunenbukai Satsujinsha) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=105482&postcount=365)
vulpix13 (Sakaki) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=106973&postcount=376)
SumpfFuchs (Pegasus) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=107835&postcount=382)
kevin0525 (NibaiKaito) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=108881&postcount=388)
Octogon (Kurotora) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=108890&postcount=389)
T_Ichigo (Illusion SaintKnight) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=110409&postcount=391)
slieght (Wrath's Edge) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=110484&postcount=392)
Miss Skittles (Shinsei) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=111280&postcount=395)
brolijc (Queen of the Double Elements) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=124859&postcount=408)
riggermantis (Kami no Ite) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=125337&postcount=411)
Nightmare (Nightmare) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=125653&postcount=413)
silverquincy9 (Ougon no Tsubasa) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=126679&postcount=418)
Miriya (Ketsubara) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=127494&postcount=419)
Arakawa Takeshi (Koumajutsu) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=127507&postcount=420)
Captain Benjamin (Itami) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=128891&postcount=429)
ProphetX (SokuJitsu) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=138382&postcount=455)
Shinomori (Inadzuma) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=138574&postcount=457)
GeneYuss (Tenshin Kuragari) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=138651&postcount=465)
ProphetX (Shourai Tansaku) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=138662&postcount=466)
SmallKid57 (Rukamei) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=138741&postcount=469)
Gundamblueriver (Zakuyami) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=138778&postcount=470)
Captain Benjamin (Gekido) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=138946&postcount=475)
Chronoxz (Kattaoitesonokiri) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=141107&postcount=480)
demonbane91 (Demonbane) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=142209&postcount=483)
Enoch (Crux) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=143569&postcount=488)
DocInsanity (Makaze) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=147456&postcount=493)
Kyouka Suigetu (Ien Shikaku) [AVATAR] (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=147802&postcount=497)
Kyouka Suigetsu (Ien Shikaku) [SHIKAI] (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=147728&postcount=495)
Kyouka Suigetu (Ien Shikaku) [BANKAI] (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=161148&postcount=560)
Fect (kokou) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=147893&postcount=499)
Z_blitz (Ametsuchi) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=148226&postcount=502)
k7xyz (Sangohime) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=149399&postcount=511)
DMC (asaitotora shikon) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=149226&postcount=508)
brolijc (Gale Force) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=149443&postcount=511)
devildude (GoldenHorse0 (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=150383&postcount=517)
Semiazas (Giketsu) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=150434&postcount=518)
Zangetsu Tensa (Kusari Kijo) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=150762&postcount=520)
Sakura no Hime (seigyoku chou) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=152091&postcount=523)
Unrefined-Nemesis (Sieryu) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=153220&postcount=529)
RevRuby (kioku) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=153443&postcount=531)
ttoad (Kakashi) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=154815&postcount=534)
Zephyrite (Karasu) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=154829&postcount=535)
devildude (Tensatsu) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=154896&postcount=537)
Gundamblueriver (Taitsukiyou) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=155016&postcount=538)
anbucleric (Yumi) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=155277&postcount=543)
Captain Benjamin (Soshitate) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=155312&postcount=544)
Gundamblueriver (Ayatsuri-ningyo) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=155336&postcount=545)
SoulReaper_Ichigo (Crecent Moon) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=155398&postcount=546)
Bregandaerthe (Souseiji) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=162025&postcount=565)
Anomander (boukyaku) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=162138&postcount=570)
Kyouka Suigetsu (Inescapable Edge) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=162183&postcount=575)
Mavrick Arch (Raikou tatsujin kon) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=162347&postcount=578)
Infini (Shiro Inazuma) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=162351&postcount=579)
Shinomori (Raifu e desu) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=162691&postcount=581)
devildude (Akizora) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=162697&postcount=582)
ttoad (Chiryukama) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=162794&postcount=585)
Chronomaru (Kei-Izou) (http://forums.bleachportal.net/showpost.php?p=163218&postcount=587)

[cavignone]

whao way to go Captain Ben. <cheer> very ncie work, i jsut finaly found out how to link just on post last night. lol i might edit mine alittle seince i did not put a power on my sword i was aiming to.

[justx645]

Holy crap...Cap'n Ben you're the freakin' man. I love you.

[Captain BenZ]

Thanks for the lovin'?

Yeah, I figure if you're going to do a decently good sized story, then I'll help by sorting all the fanmade Zanpaku-to's into one little handy dandy post.

You did say you needed swords for the Captains and Vice Captains making a total of 26 swords. Well, I counted 50 (excluding two users in which they made their zanpakuto's impossible to stand against) that can be used, so picking your favorites would be better than making some up on the spot.

The real reason I did that? So you can actually find what you need faster so you can finish the story faster, I hate waiting, just like everyone else reading your fanfic.

OH YEAH, I forgot to mention; a couple of the Zanpaku-to's are named in english so you'll have to find the japanese names for them, but that shouldn't be too much trouble, I hope.

[justx645]

Nah, in fact I like finding japanese names

In all actuality, I'm thinking some of these are hot swords. I might alter some of them, and most of them will never have their bankai revealed. But I guess that was implied when I said i'll use them in my story.

[Captain BenZ]

Hey man, I just got on for the 1st time in a couple of days, and still no fanfic?

*sigh*

I was really excited to read the next part of the chapter too...

[justx645]

Sorry guys I'm way behind, I got an 8 page massive research paper starin me down and I'm working on that, as well as a lot of greek homework and the fact that i'm getting a new compy. It's a sweet comp too...160 gigs with a gig of RAM...decked out with utilities and drivers specifically for video editing/playback. It's gonna be nice. Anywho, I'll have more of the story up when I finally get a chance to write it. So...much...work....

Mind you though, I've also been contemplating the rest of the story, writing out all the fights I want, and giving a specific soul slayer to each character (even if I don't use all it's abilities or whatever).

[yachiru_kid]

id say itz da best!!!

[cavignone]

we do not mind justx. take your time with it and finish school stuff first :-) i can't wait to see waht happens but i'll stay put lol. <think of going around smacking poeple as he waits>

[Captain BenZ]

UPDATE: The compiled list of Zanpaku-to's has been updated from MissSkittles and down. :)

[justx645]

Okay guys expect an update sometime near the end of this week. I'm finally coming to an end of a lot of work, and I have a couple exams coming up this week so don't expect it before this week is out or so. If nothing else, I have all of next week off (for Thanksgiving) so I'll get the work done then. *Sigh* the life of a college student is busy. I'm finishing up the fourth chapter with every chance I happen to get so you can all rest at eas knowing that I didn't give up on you guys.
Cap'n Ben, thanks for updating the list for me. I really appreciate it. You did a good job picking those out.

[Captain BenZ]

Awsome, good to see you didn't quit on your story. :)

[iladys]

Hey justx,really good story! I enjoyed reading it. Yeah,there's a bit of a prob justifying the characters but I guess you've got enough people telling you that :P Can't wait for the next chapter ^___^

[justx645]

okay peeps, the moment you've all been waiting for!

Chapter 4 of my story, which has been named "Pride Vs. Nobility."

here is a link to download the entire thing in a word document. If for some reason you can't open word documents, then hang on a little bit longer and I'll have it up on my forum and link you there too. K? Here's the link:

www.geocities.com/hmhudnall/PrideVsNobility.doc

Enjoy chapter 4 (some of you may reread the whole darn thing just to remember what's happening anyway) So yeah, there you guys go. I worked hard and expect more soon because I now have lots of free time.

[justx645]

Okie dokie now the story is up on my forum as well, go to this link:

http://s11.invisionfree.com/Shadow_Arts_Forum/index.php?showtopic=170

And read up. Enjoy chapter 4 and hopefully I'll do chapter 5 much faster than four.

[Captain BenZ]

Holy crap, Rin died?! ;__;

It was really interesting, although I found the battle too short, and left the details of his "death" unexplained and how it was achieved. Although the flashback in Ankashi's dream was really something else, heh.

I did like the in-depth flashback of Ankashi's life. That really was something. :)

[justx645]

Trust me, everything will be explained. I leave things out for dramatic effect. I'm working on the fifth chapter now, and it's gonna be awesome. I'm having so much fun writing this thing.

[dark_knight]

....

nice work dude.... please do keep it up :D

[MVIK]

My....my....u could be a writer, justx645. Keep up the good work my man....

[Raku]

Yea nice, really nice ^^ love it

[cavignone]

hey jsut got back form a long work trip <sigh> but found alot os story waiting for me <3 keep it up and i'll keep reading it lol. i like your use of imagery and style :-)

[justx645]

Holy crap, it's been for dang ever. This chapter underwent serious work and revision, as well as condensing. It originally was nearly 12 pages long, but I decided to break it at 8. So, peeps, here it is, finally. Chapter 5 of Pride vs. Nobility. It's entitled, Incognizance.

http://s11.invisionfree.com/Shadow_Arts_Forum/index.php?showtopic=170&st=0#entry1456374

Check it out by clicking on the link above and, as always, tell me what you think!

[Undying]

This story is one of the few greatest fanfics I've ever read. You have succeded in sparking a great deal of interest. Keep it up, and it better keep up the storyline and the height of the writing, or I might take measures... jk, I love it, keep going and don't stop.

[justx645]

Thanks...^_^;
I promise to keep the story going fresh. This time, I really hope I don't take a month to put out a chapter. This story is also now available on www.fanfiction.net, here's a direct link:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2744912/1/

As always, tell me what you think, and perhaps even leave a review or two.

Yell at me if I don't get the next chapter out soon.

[Captain BenZ]

Wow, it's been almost a month since I've been to this forum. Came by to see how much of the story has been written thinking there was so much already done that I needed to catch up. But one story was finished recently a couple of days ago. It's ok though, I'm still loving it, it's developing into something else I never really saw coming myself. Keep up the good work!

[MooseVW]

Pretty good stuff, man. You should write more fanfics!

[justx645]

I'd love to write more, but I gotta get this one done first. Chapter 6 is coming along quite nicely, but I really need to stick with it to make sure it doesn't take another month to put out one chapter.

[justx645]

Hey, good news. I entered the Fanfic Competition here on the forums. Hopefully I'll take a top spot.

[justx645]

Hey guys only one more day before the end of the fanfic competition. Does anyone think I actually have a chance?

[Captain BenZ]

Hey guys only one more day before the end of the fanfic competition. Does anyone think I actually have a chance?
IDK, where's the site that you entered for the fanfic competition?

Honestly though, I think you have a good shot at winning, but there are others that are just as easily good if not better. But best of luck to you man on winning it, I'm actually hoping you do. :)

[justx645]

The site is here...it's big news all over the forums...

Anywho, I'm working on chapter 6 now and *gasp* i'm hitting a writer's block! Hopefully I'll move past it soon and have 6 up ASAP. They exteneded the deadline until friday...if I really kick myself I believe I can have chapter 6 done by then. Probably not, but it's wishful thinking.

I can't wait until I take a top spot. I'll be captain of the 8th squad, Shosuke Izu.

[Undying]

Dude, you should win. That story of yours is just exellent. There are other as good, but really... Did i mention you write better tha many writers?

[odanion]

i am sorry to say this...i may be compition...but take this from freindly guy to not so freindly guy (You, you did kinda insult my work)...but anyways...you may want to think abaout making it easier to read...like what I do...when people talk but a line in between them...otherwise it looks to much like a book instead of a fanfic

[Undying]

You wanna see insults? There was this guy named Anomander... He wouldn't give merit to any FanFic. He writes hella good. And he says that pointing out all the bad points to your writing makes you better. And I agree. Beyond that... Where's your writing? Wanna see it.

[justx645]

Easier to read? What's hard about it? The lines separate different scenes...and my dialogue is easy to follow. But, if you think it's hard to read, that is your opinion and I respect it. The reason I said your story was choppy is because you made it fast and to the point, not elaborating on anything. You described an event rather than telling a story. There is a difference. I didn't mean you any insult...I was just trying to help. I appreciate feedback just like other people. Heh...I'm not as bad as Anomander. I really want Anomander to review my story though, and tear it up as much as he can.

[odanion]

You wanna see insults? There was this guy named Anomander... He wouldn't give merit to any FanFic. He writes hella good. And he says that pointing out all the bad points to your writing makes you better. And I agree. Beyond that... Where's your writing? Wanna see it.

take alook...it was started by me

[odanion]

Easier to read? What's hard about it? The lines separate different scenes...and my dialogue is easy to follow. But, if you think it's hard to read, that is your opinion and I respect it. The reason I said your story was choppy is because you made it fast and to the point, not elaborating on anything. You described an event rather than telling a story. There is a difference. I didn't mean you any insult...I was just trying to help. I appreciate feedback just like other people. Heh...I'm not as bad as Anomander. I really want Anomander to review my story though, and tear it up as much as he can.

well ok, I understand...well like i have posted i would love to be a GM, although I don't have all to long to write the story...I am also allready bussy writing a naruto fanfic so all my time is taken

[Shaehl]

well ok, I understand...well like i have posted i would love to be a GM, although I don't have all to long to write the story...I am also allready bussy writing a naruto fanfic so all my time is taken

You might not want to be a GM then. More responsibility comes with the priviledges.

[odanion]

You might not want to be a GM then. More responsibility comes with the priviledges.

i know that...I always make time when it is needed for other people...what i mean is i have little time for myself..and to be truthful that is how i like it

[I fail at life]

I like the way it improved from the first to the 4th chapter.

[justx645]

Thanks, the 5th chapter is pretty good too, and the 6th chapter is in the works...i'm unfortunately having a little trouble writing one of the parts (i want it to be perfect) so it's taking a little longer than expected.

[odanion]

and about the earlier remark, i made it "choppy" because the fanfics I useally write for people all they went is fast reading that is quite easy, they don't care about full detail so that some of it can be left to the imagination...for example i say he pulls out his blade it doesn't necessarily mean that he pulls out a katana shaped or ninja-to...or a blue one or whatever...that is left to the readers

[Shaehl]

and about the earlier remark, i made it "choppy" because the fanfics I useally write for people all they went is fast reading that is quite easy, they don't care about full detail so that some of it can be left to the imagination...for example i say he pulls out his blade it doesn't necessarily mean that he pulls out a katana shaped or ninja-to...or a blue one or whatever...that is left to the readers

Such detail can be important though. A blade can mean pretty much anything with an edge. Without specifying, it wouldn't be a stretch to think that a character is weilding an axe, when in actuallity he is using a dagger.

[justx645]

and about the earlier remark, i made it "choppy" because the fanfics I useally write for people all they went is fast reading that is quite easy, they don't care about full detail so that some of it can be left to the imagination...for example i say he pulls out his blade it doesn't necessarily mean that he pulls out a katana shaped or ninja-to...or a blue one or whatever...that is left to the readers


Then why the crap do you want to be a GM? GM's will have to describe things. Very well. Otherwise the players will have no clue what's going on. And people who want "fast reading" should read news tickers. This is a story. You should put your best writing into this, not throw together some crappy excuse of a story just for some position in a forum RPG. Winning a spot as a GM for me is a just a nice little side reward for writing a good story.

[odanion]

Then why the crap do you want to be a GM? GM's will have to describe things. Very well. Otherwise the players will have no clue what's going on. And people who want "fast reading" should read news tickers. This is a story. You should put your best writing into this, not throw together some crappy excuse of a story just for some position in a forum RPG. Winning a spot as a GM for me is a just a nice little side reward for writing a good story.

i just said this isn't what i am used to, i am trying to make my next chapters better. don't say i said that i was doing this on purpose. all i said was that is a new style for me and i am doing my best...and over roleplaying, well I have been doing thast for 5 years now. this is just the first time I have tried at a full action story. my last one was a bit more romance...so see what i mean with two different styles

[Captain BenZ]

HEY, WTF?! The links aren't working in the compiled list of all fanmade Zanpaku-to's...

I worked hard and long to get that shit together, it better not have messed up. >:(

[justx645]

The thread may have been deleted or something. Sucks...

[I fail at life]

Well, you should only use the word blade if the person's weapon has been described in detail beforehand.

[dark_knight]

chapter 6!!!!

[justx645]

It's on it's way, man. I promise.

[dark_knight]

yo... bump for this thread :D

[justx645]

So, it's been...for dang ever. Like...several months. I completely forgot this story even existed. I even won the little fanfic competition thing and got to be a GM, and immediately had to quit due to the overwhelming amount of work I've been presented with here at college. So, to make this make sense, this story may never be finished. I'm about...4 pages into the 6th chapter, and it may not be finished because I completely forgot where I'm going with the plot. So, if you see an update for this story anytime soon, it may be a miracle.


Sorry folks, feel free to imagine what happened next on your own.

[Icchy <3]

Well, it was really good! Maybe i'll write my own soon! :)

[dark_knight]

....

damn it... i will burn this website down.

(just kidding)

[Captain BenZ]

....
damn it... i will burn this website down.
(just kidding)
LOL!

Yeah man, I was kinda disappointed, yet sad, myself when he said he'd stop writing the story. Oh well, life moves on...

[Sora]

Hey I liked it very much!!! What a good story!!! In fact I like the way you have to write. Something that's happening but is related to past. And the thing of not saying who is every character is great!!! It makes the story more interesting!!!
I wanna know how it continues...
Good job.
Bye bye

[MatsumotoRangiku]

Wow you are realy good that is a great fanfic and it is great for the first one as whenever I try to write one I get writers block and run out of ideas.

[justx645]

So...if anyone actually...cares...I've finished chapter 6 of my story. Um...I know it's been like...forever. But if anyone's interested, i'll email it to you. K...bye!

[Undying]

Liek, d00d, send it send it send it!!!

My email's ishida_ryuuken@walla.co.il

send it before I send my ebil cute foxes on you.

[justx645]

Heh, I know it took a while, but I had a week of absolutely NOTHING and found my story sitting here on my computer, so I figured I might as well work on it. I have until this friday (and a little while afterwards) to do some more, so I just might put out a chapter 7 as well. I'll just email whoever wants chapter six the entire story, so expect it prolly tonight in your email box.

[BrokenImage]

It is pretty good my friend, i hope miko dies haha. 0_0 >_<

[justx645]

Anyone else interested in the sixth chapter?


ps. I'm actually working on the seventh chapter but don't expect it anytime soon

[Undying]

v^_^v it's awesome so I'll be interested. Keep sendin 'em when you finish em.

[Sting Rae]

Wow, this is really cool.:biggthump

[Sweeney]

Id love to read it all. Send it :headbang

[crafteri]

Wow this is the best fanfic I've read so far :O

Send send send me the 6th chapter..

My e-mail is crafteri@gmail.com

[justx645]

yourmomsahollow: give me an email address

crafteri, your email address says it's incorrect or something, so give me another one

[crafteri]

try this one: leo.turunen@suomi24.fi

btw that crafteri@gmail acc should work imo O_o