Skitsamma...

[SoundWave]

I can't be what you want me to be
I see that now

A couple of more stones, they won't hurt my bones
I don't care if you can see the darkest side of me

Like a needle to the ground
All I leave behind me is my sound

Always staring at the heaven in front of me
All by myself, it's where I wanna be
Something that I want to have, but will never get
At some point I gotta realise

I'm going nowhere

In intoxication I find my temporary bliss
I can see another heaven right beside me
I can get drunk on life all right

Then I ask myself
why did heaven kick me out?

Everything is just another mirage
After all I'm going nowhere
Stuck in this damn barrage

Can you show me
Where I should be

A place to be free
All doubts rendered useless
I'll take any test, always do my best

Heaven kicked me out
I simply won't be going anywhere anymore
If only a kind heart would show the way
I could be with you night and day

How would I know what's right anyway?

I'm stuck in the fray...

[Jaran]

Nice job man. Too much enjambment though, try using some punctuation in order to establish some rhythm. I like it a lot though. :)

[SoundWave]

Ah okay, gotcha.. thnx man.. shall keep it in mind :)

[Askand]

*grabs Syche to give him some TLC* I got suprised by this one, I like the rhythm and the confronted feelings. The images I got was Ichigo looking at the stars but at the sometime of someone else and just smiling at me. Is a nice poem.Congrats handsome another good poem. *kiss*
:)

[SoundWave]

haha nice to see your opinion there, I could never imagine something like that.. thnx ^^

[.Kozmic]

I think it could be a good song, but i'm not sure about a poem i could see it fitting as an ending theme for bleach or naruto, something like that, good job.

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