Out The Door

[MaskedDrifter]

(been a long time....been grounded for months...but here I am again folks..please critique)

Out the Door

What can I say?
What can I do?
What will it take to comfort you?

I put it as easy as I could
and stated as gently as I should
The reasons why its over now
and ancient history for good.

I told you why I couldn't kiss you
couldn't hold you, couldn't miss you
Why I never dialed the phone
and paid you visits at your home.
But I guess it doesn't matter now
because now, you're alone.

What can I say?
What can I do?
What will it take to comfort you?

I gave it everything I had
and took all the good with the bad
But I guess it didn't work
to soother despair so sad.

I told you why we had to stop
had to crop, at the top
Why our love set with the sun
And why I felt I had to run
But I guess it doesn't matter now
Because now we are done.

(this is about my breakup with my gf in March)

[Mighty Aramir]

sad.... very sad....
Rhyme sems awkward a times, and seems quite useful for a lyric...
but good after all

[BeeCrest]

My sympathies to you Masked.

I like how even though it's sad you still manage to express the softness of the breakup. *shrugs* I've never been good with CnC.

[MaskedDrifter]

My sympathies to you Masked.

I like how even though it's sad you still manage to express the softness of the breakup. *shrugs* I've never been good with CnC.

Thanks..I appreciate that.

[Iro]

The break-up was all explained in this poem. The rhyming, the content and story is good. Well done ('',)

[MaskedDrifter]

Thanks for the compliment!