Writing Help please

[Delaguardia]

I need help continuing this story of mine but I'm stuck. Oh ya this is my rough drafted if you don't know but you'll know by reading so what ever. Please help me!

The day was bright and hot, more so than normal. The epicentre of the heat came from the inside of a saloon, where two out-of-place brawlers traded blows in an unprovoked skirmish. One, drabbed in black, shades to shoes, currently has the fist of the other half of the discussion buried in his cheek sending him flying into the bar. It looked bad because it seemed that the man drabbed in black was going to lose but that wasn’t the truth. The man drabbed in black was about to thrust his fist into the other guy when suddenly a cowboy came into the saloon. This Cowboy was in fact the sheriff and he looked mad. The two men seem to not notice that the sheriff was inside the saloon. The sheriff walked over to the two men with a calm look on his face. The sheriff was now behind the two. He then quickly grabbed the two men and hit there heads together. “Akimoto!! I thought I told you not to make anymore trouble!” Akimoto who is the man drabbed in black was holding his head in pain. Akimoto did hear the sheriff but he wasn’t paying much attention at the moment but then he recognized the voice and his face became ill. Akimoto turned his head and looked at the Sheriff still with an ill look on his face. “Ouch that hurt sheriff. Why did ya half to hit my head against that stupid oversized cowboy.” The sheriff put the cowboy back on his feet. Though he didn’t let go of Akimoto.

[SageOfHalo]

Have you figured out why Akimoto and the other cowboy were fighting? Or is that what you need help with? From my standpoint, you could continue it like this:

"I didn't want to knock your heads together," the Sherriff said, "But after the last time you got into a fight, I had to break it up fast. You know how long it took us to rebuild the Tokomata place?"

"Hey, I DID help with that rebuilding, you know", Akimoto said indignantly.

"I know you did", the Sherriff replied, "and it STILL took us three months."

Then the Sherriff looked at the other cowboy. "You should pick your opponents more carefully, son", he said. "This here's Akimoto Fujiyama, the man who single-handedly fought off the bandit gangs of Jinei Takahema... It's just good for you that he wasn't taking this fight seriously, or else there wouldn't be enough left of you to fill a thimble."

[Delaguardia]

That sounds great thanks. I think I might be able to right the rest but if I need help I'll post here again.

[SageOfHalo]

Good deal, Delaguardia! Glad I could keep you going... feel free to PM me as well, if you need any assistance. I'll be happy to help if I can.

[Delaguardia]

Thank you, I will if I need help.

[Delaguardia]

I couldn't find my old thread so here's a new one. I need help again with the same story. I got stuck. Here's what I got so far.

The day was bright and hot, more so than normal. The epicenter of the heat came from the inside of a saloon, where two out-of-place brawlers traded blows in an unprovoked skirmish. One, drabbed in black, shades to shoes, currently has the fist of the other half of the argument buried in his cheek sending him flying into the bar. It looked bad because it seemed that the man drabbed in black was going to lose but that wasn’t the truth. The man drabbed in black was about to thrust his fist into the other guy when suddenly a cowboy came into the saloon. This Cowboy was in fact the sheriff and he looked mad. The two men seem to not notice that the sheriff was inside the saloon. The sheriff walked over to the two men with a calm look on his face. The sheriff was now behind the two. He then quickly grabbed the two men and hit there heads together. “Akimoto!! I thought I told you not to make anymore trouble!” Akimoto who is the man drabbed in black was holding his head in pain. Akimoto did hear the sheriff but he wasn’t paying much attention to notice who it was but then he recognized the voice and his face became ill. Akimoto turned his head and looked at the Sheriff. “Ouch that hurt sheriff. Why did ya half to hit my head against that stupid oversized cowboy.” The sheriff put the cowboy back on his feet. Though he didn’t let go of Akimoto.

"I didn't want to knock your heads together," the Sheriff said, "But after the last time you got into a fight, I had to break it up fast. You know how long it took us to rebuild the Tokomata place?"

"Hey, I DID help with that rebuilding, you know", Akimoto said indignantly.

"I know you did", the Sheriff replied, "and it STILL took us three months."

Then the Sheriff looked at the other cowboy. "You should pick your opponents more carefully, son", he said. "This here's Akimoto Fujiyama, the man who single-handedly fought off the bandit gangs of Jinei Takahema... It's just good for you that he wasn't taking this fight seriously, or else there wouldn't be enough left of you to fill a thimble."

The sheriff let go of Akimoto and walked up to the cowboy. “It’s best that you leave now, son.” The cowboy frowned at what the sheriff said. He didn’t want to leave because of a little fight. “I an’t leaven tiny!!” Suddenly the cowboy lunged his fist toward the sheriff’s face. The sheriff then caught the cowboy’s fist before it hit him and flipped the cowboy right threw a wall. The cowboy landed right in the middle of the street. The sheriff walked to the hole in the wall and looked at the cowboy. “This will be the last time I say this to you. It’s best that you leave now, son!” the sheriff said with a serious tone of voice.

The cowboy got up quickly and ran away. “I’ll be back you basterds!” Akimoto laughed a little and yield back to the cowboy. “Well then we’ll be waiting for ya! Bring…” The sheriff poled Akimoto back. “Akimoto don’t you provoke him. I can’t deal with this…” The sheriff growned. “Oh great now this wall needs to be fixed…. AKIMOTO that will be your job,” the sheriff said before he began to run to the door because he knew Akimoto wouldn’t say yes. “Hey wait; you’re the one who did it.” Akimoto said with an annoyed tone of voice. “Well that’s your problem now!” the sheriff laughed. “I don’t think SO… you basterd!” Akimoto jumped at the sheriff and wrestled him to the ground. “Ahhhhhh…. let me GO!!” The sheriff said trying to claw his way out like a cat running away from a bath. “It’s your fault so you fix it!” The sheriff managed to kick Akimoto back and he got up and ran for the door again. Akimoto wasn’t too far behind since he was now running right beside the sheriff with a smirk on his face and he wasn’t running normal. He was running backwards “Hey speedy consalis, do you actually think you can get away.” Akimoto was about to jump at the sheriff but then the sheriff got a little more speed and grabbed a chair and threw it right behind Akimoto. “No hard feelings but I rather leave then fix that wall. I…. I got some other things to do.” The sheriff said laughing a little while now exiting the building and getting away. “Sheriff!!!!!” Akimoto yield while tangled in the chair. He got untangled and stood up then he looked at the hole in the wall and then noticed that everyone in the saloon was staring at him. “What are you all looking at?!” He then stormed out of the building yelling. “I ant fixing it! God damn that sheriff! @#$%^##@^!!!!!!!” Everyone in the saloon just continued with what they were doing. “I swear those two will be the death of this town,” a random person said in the saloon. “I here that,” said everyone else.

[Aesthetique]

Firstly, please space out your sentences. @___@

Whenever someone new talks, start a new paragraph. This makes it easier to read and judge which character is speaking at the time.

[Toasty]

I found your old thread and merged. :) Hope that helps with any confusion.

If you want to see old threads that you may have posted, but they are out of date, go to the bottom of the page and where it says:

Sort by, Sort order

For the _______ <-- put Beginning

---

I do agree. Each time there is a new thought or a new person talks, it's time for a new paragraph. Just taking a moment to second Aya's motion.

hope all of this helps.