Cheaters - Will you forgive them

[Chrono Detector]

Well, this thread is about cheaters committing infidelity in a relationship.

Once a cheater always a cheater right?

If your partner cheated on you will you forgive them? Even if they say they will not cheat on you again, will you trust them?

Personally, I wouldn't. As that saying goes, "Once a cheater, always a cheater" which is true in most cases.

[Riw]

That depends so much on so many things.

Where it a single event, and fist time, I probably would, though. My current relationship is so great that I wouldn't wish to throw it away just because of a single mistake. I also don't buy this "once a cheater, always a cheater" -thing; I believe that almost anyone may end up cheating their significant other under some circumstances. Maybe not in the age of, say, 15 when everything is yet black and white (EDIT: I just realized that this may sound a bit arrogant. I'm not that old myself, so no offense to young folks), but as years go by and life becomes a dull routine - as it might, for anyone - perhaps then.

Still, I sincerely hope that I, at least, have enough willpower to avoid insulting others like that. And I'm not at all certain that my relationship would survive long after I caught my partner cheating, even though I would truly try my best to forgive them.

[Donut]

It depends. Mostly; No.

[silverwolf801]

hm if it happened only once and she was drunk maybe

[Tobi]

No, it would break my heart. I wouldn't be able to forgive them, it would kill me.

[Lucki]

it depends on the person and their personality, like if they were a renowned womanizer or slut, you would expect it and wouldn't give them a second chance. But they could have been forced, they could have been drunk and out of there mind, then i would give them a second chance^^ it would be hard to forgive and not to, if you loved them so much you would want to forgive, but then again, it could hurt to much to be with someone you love each day and see their face and know they were getting busy with someone else.

[Mitsuketa]

It will really hurts when this happens but it hurts even more when I try to hold all the hate in my heart. Hating them doesn't make things any better so I try my best to forgive and forget but it's not always easy

[Waverly]

I can't say for sure since I've never been in that situation.
I would most likely not be forgiving, though. Right now (since I've never been cheated on,) my view is that if I am loyal enough to my partner that I wouldn't be unfaithful, then I would expect the same from them. If they cheated, then it shows (at the very least) that they our relationship less than I do. I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't feel strongly about me/our relationship.

[Pipp-ORK]

I'd never forgive a cheater. Infidelity is a total betrayal of trust. I'd be much too angry to even think of seeing the person again.

I'd definitely think about setting their house on fire, though.

[silverwolf801]

But what if the guy was super cute and very sorry and he didn't know what he was doing at the time.

[Pipp-ORK]

Didn't know what he was doing? Cheating is absolutely unforgivable. He should've thought about the consequences before he did it. Even thinking about cheating is horrible. If my partner's thinking of cheating on me, he obviously isn't happy with me, so why doesn't he just leave?

and very sorry

If he started begging for me to forgive him, I'd kick him in the face.

No mercy~ >=O

*WAVES FLAG.*

But what if the guy was super cute

That doesn't really matter. It's still a betrayal, and even if I really cared about him, I wouldn't put up with it. Cute or not, I'd be hurt and furious.

[SoundWave]

Probably would the first time..

But anymore than that and it's becoming a habit.. No more forgiveness..

Also depends on the person's personality and the circumstances.

[silverwolf801]

Well I think I would forgive my partner if we've been together for a good while and she's cute. that can't be bad can it

[Pipp-ORK]

If you were with your partner for a long time, though, it'd hurt even more, wouldn't it?

I wouldn't start a relationship with anybody unless I knew I was prepared to treat them with respect, and I'd expect the same thing from them. Cheating's the worst thing you can do in a relationship.

[Sharpie_x]

I wouldn't forgive a cheater, I've seen one of my friends forgive her boyfriend for cheating on her because she believe in him but then it happened again and she just ended more hurt.

But if the person has shown he/she is really an important person and honest and had a good reason for forgiveness, not "I didn't mean to". But this rarely happens and actually the guy my friend dated was a jerk (I told her but she didn't listen to me).

I guess the choice is up to you.

[silverwolf801]

hm so what if you knew the person for like 2 months minimum then is that an exception to cheat.

[Pipp-ORK]

Nah, it'd still be a horrible thing, but I think that if you were with the person for a long time, it'd be even worse.

I don't think there are any exceptions when it comes to cheating. Cheating's cheating, and it's the best way to let somebody know that you don't take them or the relationship seriously.

I don't think loyalty is very much to ask for, especially from somebody who's expected to love you.

[Sharpie_x]

hm so what if you knew the person for like 2 months minimum then is that an exception to cheat.

It depends on the person, too you know. If the person is unresponsable, uneducated, mean, a cheater I wouldn't forgive them even if I knew them for 2 months or even a year. But if they are kind, honest, responsible, and has a good reason for his/ hers actions then maybe...

But it depends on the situation, too.

[Pipp-ORK]

But are there any good reasons to cheat? And if they were kind, honest, and responsible, they probably wouldn't have done it in the first place.

[SoundWave]

Nah, it'd still be a horrible thing, but I think that if you were with the person for a long time, it'd be even worse.
Yes that's true and that's why it would be so much more worth if you were able to forgive once, a second chance, think about it, wouldn't you want one?.

It might even bring you closer together.. Maybe the person was deeply sorry and found out that it was you he/she wanted to spend their time with.

[silverwolf801]

well if the relationship isn't interesting anymore. If you see some girl that temps you too just loose control and forget about your current girlfreind.

[SLVR]

No. Im a person who just dun believe in second chances, And Im not forgiving. Trust is what companionship is built on.

[Pipp-ORK]

Yes that's true and that's why it would be so much more worth if you were able to forgive once, a second chance, think about it, wouldn't you want one?.

It might even bring you closer together.. Maybe the person was deeply sorry and found out that it was you he/she wanted to spend their time with.

If I can't have it all, I don't want it. Dedication isn't too much to ask for in the long run. If he can't dedicate himself to me, and only me, the relationship's as good as over (even if cheating isn't involved). So if he goes out and screws some random whore because he "got bored" or "got horny" or something like that, I'd be too hurt and too angry to continue the relationship.

No. Im a person who just dun believe in second chances, And Im not forgiving. Trust is what companionship is built on.

Yes sir.

[Sharpie_x]

There are no good reasons, I agree in that. But what if it was a setup or a mistake, it could happen. But I believe that most of the time I wouldn't forgive a cheater, because if that person wants to be dating another person, cheating wouldn't be the answer but talking about it would.

[silverwolf801]

yea a mistake like um a girl pushes herself on you. what to do then

[♥ Tess]

^lol. push back ;P
_______
overall, dealing with someone who cheated on you all depends on how desperate you are...

Some people have difficulties finding new relationships so its not easy for them to actually move on. Or they may be tied down by other factors like Children.

Anyway, They would most likely forgive those who have cheated on them. (even if it doesn't stop)

__
...
...

for me...

i would rather you break up with me & say you want to explore other relationships then deceive me & do these things behind my back.

i'm not really the forgiving type.
no matter the situation

[Pipp-ORK]

yea a mistake like um a girl pushes herself on you. what to do then

You refuse, if you're already in a relationship. If you can't commit yourself to your current partner, and don't care about them enough to consider how much harm cheating can do to a relationship, why are you even with them?

[SoundWave]

I know it's a bad thing to think, but if I can't have my partner's love (physical or otherwise) all to myself, I don't want him. If he can't dedicate himself to me, the relationship's as good as over. So if he goes out and screws some random whore because he "got bored" or "got horny" or something like that, I'd be too hurt and too angry to continue the relationship.
I agree. =o
haha yea for those reasons who wouldn't..

Well I always thought that you should treat ppl the way you want to be treated. I would be devoted to the one I love.

If I made a mistake, then I would break it up myself.

And btw. I gotta agree, after you partner has cheated on you it could hardly be the same again.

No. Im a person who just dun believe in second chances, And Im not forgiving. Trust is what companionship is built on.
Oh and that's probably the way you would be treated back..

[silverwolf801]

hm this thread is very informative for me. Him maybe I should take some advice from this maybe

[Syph]

My ex cheated on me once before and I forgave her. Not long after, she cheated on me again. Never again will I forgive sometihng like that. Cheating either shows that you show no compassion, or you never really cared about that person in the first place.

[Chrono Detector]

I agree with some of the replies. Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. If my partner ever done that to me, I would not forgive them. Even if she was good looking, I would tell her to take a hike. For me, trust and honesty is very important and a crucial and important element to me.

Forgiving a cheater and for them to do it again is even worse. I don't really see a cheater can be redeemed, they will eventually do it again.

I do not see a good reason to be cheated on. Even if they say they were sorry and "didn't know what they were doing" I wouldn't buy it. I agree with Pipp-ORK, there is no good reason to be cheated on, you may as well end the relationship because obviously your partner who cheated isn't happy with the relationship.

[Patience]

Some people say that under some circumstances then it's okay, like if they're drunk or forced to or dont know they're doing it.

Well, imho - the poll is if they willfully do it, and no matter how drunk you are - if you can forget that you're in a relationship then you prob. should be unconcious. I wouldnt forgive a cheater, why should I forgive someone who would hurt me like that. It'd be so painful, like I wasnt good enough :s

Anyways, I dont think I would and I would break up with them. They wouldnt be worth my time.

[A2k]

There are several elements I feel I need to address when replying to something like this;

Firstly and foremost is time.

With time anything can happen.

Secondly is forgiveness because in time, I can forgive even the most spitefull, devious and sadistic of crimes against me as a person, whether that be in a relationship or simply a friendship.

Finally, to forget.

My scars may heal in time, and in due time I may learn to forgive, but never, will I forget.

I hold only two of the relationships I have ever had in my life, as being of any serious substance; and luck would have it that when either relationship ended both women were branded by my words as being a "Lying, cheating, scheming *****".

I have in time forgiven the first woman, but I still remember the damage she left in my life, and I have learned from that.

More recently I have been through the same BS again, I have already forgiven, and I will definately never forget.

Would I trust either or, in the same manner I might have done prior to any lapse in monogomy? No, both women were well aware of my opinion on trust, honesty and truth before getting involved with me. In truth I am a Scorpio, now by rights I do not "believe" in astology, I do however believe in what is evident and obvious; Scorpio's are described as being loyal to a bitter fault, painfully stubborn and much more. For the most part, a typical Scorpio's description, suits me as a person to a T.

One of my stubborn points...or loyalties depending on how you chose to view it; is that truth is ultimate, lies are simply deciet, and deciet is dishonesty, a dishonest person is dead to me.

Cheating is another, there is no excuse for cheating...ever.

You know, in my last relationship, I might have been stupid enough to go back to her...hell...I probably still would be stupid enough to go back to her, but I know myself it would be pointless, there is no trust from me for her.

In a relationship, monogomy is something I value as much as honesty and loyalty.

[ikkaku's girl]

NO! This is something I am dead set on! Cheating is absolutely inexcusable!

As long as there is romantic intent, it is cheating (sex, a date, a kiss, a hug). Even if you think you know you can't control yourself when you're drunk, don't get drunk around girls.

I'm sure I've said this before but I want to be the kind of girlfriend who trusts her boyfriend and the kind of wife that trusts her husband, but if that trust is violated, the relationship is soooooooo over!

[SLVR]

yea a mistake like um a girl pushes herself on you. what to do thenI have lot of experience with this. When a girl does that you have to control your self and stay mature by playing it off. I had a few X's and other girls have pushed them selvs on to me and I played it off like it was a joke. (my personal experience) Seeming oblivious to a female who wants to flirt, sexual relation is the best way to kinda get her out of it.

[Riw]

I don't think many people really approve of cheating (in a "sometimes it's the right thing to do or at least not necessarily a bad thing" -sort of way). Still, being in a relationship doesn't automatically mean that you no longer feel attracted to other people, just that (in a conventional relationship) you make a decision to try not seeing them as potential partners. And it is a fact that in most relationships, as the time passes, the other person begins to look a bit dull, boring or too ordinary at times. These are no excuses, but overall, I think reasons behind why people cheat are more complicated than just wanting the fun, or being drunk.

Paradoxically, I feel that cheating in a relationship that hasn't lasted for years and years is, to me, less easy to forgive than if I'm really committed to the other person. In the latter case it might still be a bigger crime, though. For practical reasons, sometimes it's almost necessary to consider being forgiving: what if you have been married for years, have children, are just about to have a child?

Hm, it seems I can't really construct my argument too well in English. Anyway, I likely wouldn't forgive systematical cheating and sure as heck wouldn't be forgiving if the other person didn't have enough courage to tell me about it himself (and of course, if he wasn't genuinely sorry). Still, the relationship might, as I said, eventually crumble because of that incident, even if initially forgiven. It would hurt so much. The trust broken can be rebuild, but it takes a horrible amount of time and effort.

[Momentum]

If theres a valid reason... maybe... yes. If not definitely no... I was thinking if you forgive them, they might just keep doing it over and over again because they think you don't seem to care...

[Elocin]

Cheating is inexcusable to me. This is voluntary cheating only, though. If someone got raped or groped or something and refused it, then that's fine by me. But anything in terms of flirting (intent to be with a girl), sex, anything related to sex is inexcusable to me.

I would never do anything like this to a guy I care about and I expect him to reciprocate those sentiments.

Do unto others as you would want done unto yourself.

[A2k]

Cheating is inexcusable.

Do unto others as you would want done unto yourself.

Amen sista. ^_~

[Evanesque]

Though it depends on the situation, I'm not the type of person who'd forgive someone so easily for hurting me.

I'd prolly either hate them for life or do something to make their lives miserable...and that also depends whether he's worth my time to hate.

I do believe that once a cheater is always a cheater. How can you trust someone who cheats on you? And how can you know he'd never do it again?

=/

[jitan_leonhart]

jitan hate cheaters

[Miss M]

*Miyu thinks she's in a situation* :)
if he would cheat... then I'll certainly dump him... =/
I gave him my trust and he just... cheated?!! NEVAR!!
I dun believe in second chances when it comes to this situation...
if you forgive him... you'll always have the "cheating" idea inside your head...
and it would really be troublesome... >.<

[silverwolf801]

Though it depends on the situation, I'm not the type of person who'd forgive someone so easily for hurting me.
I'd prolly either hate them for life or do something to make their lives miserable...and that also depends whether he's worth my time to hate.
I do believe that once a cheater is always a cheater. How can you trust someone who cheats on you? And how can you know he'd never do it again?
=/
But you know things happen people make mistakes. They should get some chances of course that relationship would have to be worked out plus the trust that you once had with that person will be hard to regain but you can still try to stay with the person.

[Miss M]

it means she's/he's not satisfied with what he/she has... *which is you*
so... he prolly prefers other ppl...
and yeah... ppl make mistakes... but was it a mistake to sleep/kiss/do stuffs with other ppl? surely that person intended it to happen... =/
and if you were drunk or sth... it's your problem... -.-

[Tyekanik]

I view this much more simply.

If I'm cheated on, no circumstances, time, reasoning, substances (control yourself dammit) really matter. It happened, and I'm never going to have that person out of my sight without wondering what they are doing.

I pretty much do what someone mentioned earlier, but put this here because years may go by, that person may be befriended again, but a relationship starting again is just signing up for a repeat that will either come to be or be created by the cheated upon's lack of trust.

Constantly doubting a person will get to them, eat away at them and eventually a feeling of 'why the hell not, I'm accused of it anyway' will come about from most people.

Much more simple this way.

I also don't believe in "it might be the one true love, this romance can not pass!" heh, if that idea of true love contains so much grief...keep it.

[A2k]

Interesting that so far only you and I would be willing, or in time would come to forgive a cheater, but still never forget their actions.

I can appreciate how some people might say they could never forgive someone for cheating, since in a sense I understand how they feel. Like I said previously; the only two relationships I have ever valued in my life, have both ended with my partner cheating on me.

o_O;;;

Heh, when put that way, a guy could get a complex about a statement like that. But since in my scenario, circumstances play a large part in the outcomes, I don't have one...luckily. ^_^

Anyway, like I was saying, the only two relationships I've ever valued ended with my partners cheating; and in many a sense I have not forgiven either for the act at the time of the act, but I have moved on?

I still talk to my ex, and her new partner, and the people within her core group of friends. I have dealt with her actions and come to peace of mind about it; is that considered forgiveness?

Some would say not in the slightest, some might see it differently and say that in some sense it is.

Personally, my understanding of my having dealt with it and moved on, and still manage to maintain a general "chit-chat" style of banter with my ex, is that although I do not condone what she did, although it hurt me, in the end she will have lost something far greater than I did, and for that I forgive her.

You see, I'm the type of person that those 3 magical little words, will never be thought of by me. My first real relationship lasted 8 months until one day when I was speaking to her, the words garbled out of my mouth without my even realising it. I didn't realise I had blurted it out, until the immidiate second I had finished the sentance, because I truly didn't realise until that moment that I Loved this woman.

Having Loved only once in my life prior to my ex, the feeling that died when I lost her, for me was something I had experienced once before, although painfull, I knew I would heal with time.

For my ex, it is an entirely different story. Without being able to say this any other way, I appologise for sounding egotistical in saying this, but it is the truth; I was the best thing that ever happened to her, and the Love we shared she will not find in her lifetime again.

I can say this with an accute certainty due to my knowledge of her past, her person and her state of mind.

Knowing that; how painfull that will be for her one day, to have lived her time, and looked back to know that the one person she truly Loved in her life, she had lost foolishly. To know that, how could I compare that pain to the pain I felt at my losing Love once again? My pain is pale in comparisson, and as such is persuassion enough for me to forgive her.

I can forgive, but I will never forget.

[SoundWave]

Interesting that so far only you and I would be willing, or in time would come to forgive a cheater, but still never forget their actions.
I can appreciate how some people might say they could never forgive someone for cheating, since in a sense I understand how they feel. Like I said previously; the only two relationships I have ever valued in my life, have both ended with my partner cheating on me.
o_O;;;
Heh, when put that way, a guy could get a complex about a statement like that. But since in my scenario, circumstances play a large part in the outcomes, I don't have one...luckily. ^_^
Anyway, like I was saying, the only two relationships I've ever valued ended with my partners cheating; and in many a sense I have not forgiven either for the act at the time of the act, but I have moved on?
I still talk to my ex, and her new partner, and the people within her core group of friends. I have dealt with her actions and come to peace of mind about it; is that considered forgiveness?
Some would say not in the slightest, some might see it differently and say that in some sense it is.
Personally, my understanding of my having dealt with it and moved on, and still manage to maintain a general "chit-chat" style of banter with my ex, is that although I do not condone what she did, although it hurt me, in the end she will have lost something far greater than I did, and for that I forgive her.
You see, I'm the type of person that those 3 magical little words, will never be thought of by me. My first real relationship lasted 8 months until one day when I was speaking to her, the words garbled out of my mouth without my even realising it. I didn't realise I had blurted it out, until the immidiate second I had finished the sentance, because I truly didn't realise until that moment that I Loved this woman.
Having Loved only once in my life prior to my ex, the feeling that died when I lost her, for me was something I had experienced once before, although painfull, I knew I would heal with time.
For my ex, it is an entirely different story. Without being able to say this any other way, I appologise for sounding egotistical in saying this, but it is the truth; I was the best thing that ever happened to her, and the Love we shared she will not find in her lifetime again.
I can say this with an accute certainty due to my knowledge of her past, her person and her state of mind.
Knowing that; how painfull that will be for her one day, to have lived her time, and looked back to know that the one person she truly Loved in her life, she had lost foolishly. To know that, how could I compare that pain to the pain I felt at my losing Love once again? My pain is pale in comparisson, and as such is persuassion enough for me to forgive her.
I can forgive, but I will never forget.
Damn you summed it pretty nicely, somewhat what I was trying to say earlier ^^

Life is all about comprising, your relationship may not end up ideal, so compromise. Life ain't no straight road, you've gotta make your own road, carve your own path. Find a way to look on things from a different perspective. It's easier to dump someone if they hurt you, but are you rly gonna take the easy way out and run away?

If someone cheats on you then that's got to be a sign that something is wrong and why not talk about it and maybe give your relationship a second chance.. If you both find that it's worth it.

[Chrono Detector]

Its bad enough if your partner cheats on you and then you forgive them, and then they cheat again and ask for your forgiveness. If I had one like that I would definitely tell her to take a hike. I believe in second chances, but to me cheating and committing adultery or infidelity is crossing over the line and in my eyes that is unforgivable. That trust you once had is no longer there and in most cases cannot be repaired.

[Elocin]

I can see where everyone who is willing to give people second chances is coming from. Even I am willing to give second chances, but I can honestly say that I do fall for guys quickly. Within the first month or so, I am pretty much devoted and already in love with the guy. I don't expect the guy to love me back right away, but I do expect loyalty out of it.

Right now, my partner expects loyalty out of me, and I've been holding up my end of the deal. And in return, I expect loyalty out of him as well (which I hope he's not cheating on me, or else I'd be rather devastated). I know full well that if I were to cheat on him, he would never forgive me. Never. He may forget, and we may be friends, but we would never be able to share the compassion we share now. And out of value for compassion like that, I don't see how anyone could cheat unless they really didn't value that.

And I also share the same feelings.

[Mercurius]

Depends on what he did


Kiss...deserve a second chance
Sex...go die in hell

tough it would really hurt my feelings if I knew my boyfriend cheated on me :(
...I think it would make me feel like I'm not good enough.

Cheating simply hurts the trust in a relationship a lot. Even if U break up that mistrust remains (experience with friends) ending up in not just the end of a relationship but even friendship...unlike when they simply break up because there is no more ''love'', they normally become normal (perhaps a little closer) friends then again like they were before.

[Syph]

I completely believe in giving people second chances, but cheating is a very touchy subject. There's just no excuse for what they did. And even if you do forgive them, there will always be an awkward tension, whether or not you're still together or just friends.

[silverwolf801]

SOoooo who has cheated here anyway. In my case well I think I did.

[Pipp-ORK]

I completely believe in giving people second chances, but cheating is a very touchy subject. There's just no excuse for what they did. And even if you do forgive them, there will always be an awkward tension, whether or not you're still together or just friends.

I agree. I can be a lenient person, but I wouldn't be able to tolerate cheating. I'd be too angry and much too jealous to even consider a second chance.

[Syph]

I agree. I can be a lenient person, but I wouldn't be able to tolerate cheating. I'd be too angry and much too jealous to even consider a second chance.
Well after my ex cheated on me for the second time, I forgave her shortly after breaking up with her. We're nothing more now than..."friends" I suppose. Butn now when we talk, there's nothing but this weird tension. Basically makes you wanna leave the room.

[A2k]

Hmm...seems I was misunderstood...again. ~_~

If someone cheats on me, then they do not have the same kind of belief in truth and honesty as I do, and as such are of no consideration to me, they might as well be dead because they will not even be considered a friend if they cannot tell me the truth or be honest with me.

I'm sorry if my comment was misunderstood, but I assure you;

"Interesting that so far only you and I would be willing, or in time would come to forgive a cheater, but still never forget their actions."

does not mean I would forgive that person and seek to resolve the problem between us in our relationship, thereby giving them a second chance to at some point in time do the exact same thing again.

Second chances are seldom, and often justifiable, but a cheat never deserves a second chance.

Rape or unconsensual relations obviously do not apply to this.

It's this simple...if you cheat, you are a liar, I do not tolerate liars and have no desire to have them in my life as far as I can manage to control.

By forgive, I merely meant forgive the stupidity of their actions.

[EDIT:] Silverwolf...after my last few posts, I think you could safely say I never have and never will cheat. o_O

[SoundWave]

Hmm...seems I was misunderstood...again. ~_~
If someone cheats on me, then they do not have the same kind of belief in truth and honesty as I do, and as such are of no consideration to me, they might as well be dead because they will not even be considered a friend if they cannot tell me the truth or be honest with me.
I'm sorry if my comment was misunderstood, but I assure you;
"Interesting that so far only you and I would be willing, or in time would come to forgive a cheater, but still never forget their actions."
does not mean I would forgive that person and seek to resolve the problem between us in our relationship, thereby giving them a second chance to at some point in time do the exact same thing again.
Second chances are seldom, and often justifiable, but a cheat never deserves a second chance.
Rape or unconsensual relations obviously do not apply to this.
It's this simple...if you cheat, you are a liar, I do not tolerate liars and have no desire to have them in my life as far as I can manage to control.
By forgive, I merely meant forgive the stupidity of their actions.
hehe oh right I get it now..

They no longer have a place in your life then?..

Edit: crap sry I'm tired.. "It's this simple...if you cheat, you are a liar, I do not tolerate liars and have no desire to have them in my life as far as I can manage to control." didn't see this..

Maybe I should tell you something.. When my mom left my dad, she had already found someone else b4 they broke up(cheating I guess).. I was like 6 months old, can't remember a thing ofc, more than I've been told.. My dad forgave my mom for what she did and I couldn't thank my dad more, cuz then I never had to chose between mom and dad.. they still communicate fairly well.. Thanks to this, thus far I've never had any problems between my parents. (they're still divorced btw) :P

[Laika]

I really don't know, I suppose I would forgive them after I broke up with them, I can't go on hating someone, but I would lose my trust in them forever. I guess I'd have to experience it to know what I'd do, and luckily I haven't.

[A2k]

Well for the fact that a cheat/liar would still in fact exist, and the chances are if I know them, they live near me, and as such would be difficult to entirely erase their existence from my life, but yes in a sense.

Basically, I will talk to them, acknowledge them, and manage to tolerate them, but I would never be the same with them as I would have been prior to them being unveiled as a liar.

When someone meets me for the very first time, they have my absolute trust, faith, honesty and loytalty, before I know a solitary thing about them, or them about me. In time I will judge for myself whether or not I was right to give them my trust or not.

Most people who know me have known me for a good 6 years or more in this area, and all but a select few still to this day, have my full trust and honesty held in their hands.

Even my best friends, cradle that as something fragile to cherish because it's worth more to them intact, than to them or myself in shattered peices.

[EDIT:] Precisely Cursive.

When it's all over and done with, I will in time learn to forgive, because I do not hate. But that does not mean I will ever forget.

[Syph]

Most people who know me have known me for a good 6 years or more in this area, and all but a select few still to this day, have my full trust and honesty held in their hands.
Even my best friends, cradle that as something fragile to cherish because it's worth more to them intact, than to them or myself in shattered peices.
In my opinion, trust is the most important part of any kind of relationship (friend or more than) and once that trust is broken it's almost near impossible to gain it back. I find trust to be one of the most difficult things to repair within a relationship. And even if you manage to "trust" that person again there will always be a doubt that he/she is telling the truth.

[Envy]

I could never trust them afterwards.

I'm a person who loves bluntness. If you want to date somebody else, tell me rather then betraying me. Learning the hard way always hurts the most.

[yahhzoo]

I have cheated and been cheated on and let me tell you no matter what after you cheat and your significant other finds out all trust is broken. Even if somehow it seems that the trust is back. It will never be the same. One word of advice dont cheat just breakup with the person your going out with because it will be less painful for them.

[Yuffie]

1..
2..
3..

NO!! Of course not!! They cheat on you, why should you forgive them? They'll step your head more if you forgive them.

[SHiKaMaRi]

It'd depend, really. If you were a complete idiot to your partner, and he/she cheated on you, then I won't blame him/her.

As for my case, the spark died out and I began to avoid him, which brought him to take interest in another. It was to be expected. And I forgave him. After all, if he hadn't done that first, I would've.

[Vladimir]

never ever forgive them !! they cheat uu ones they cann do it again ^^

i never forgive them .. ones they cheat me, the became rubbish in my society !
but can't blame them if uu are an idiot then .. they may have their reasons ?

[teddyen]

i could forgive mistakes, etc... i'm not one who keep vengence or stuff...
if cheated, i would say i can forgive but it also means that i don't think can ever trust him again, so i guess the answer would be No...

[Pnzar]

well depends, im the type to forgive so i would prob forgive, but has my last gf, who broke up with me, got togheter with my best friend, but she "still loved me" has she said, in cases like that, i wouldnt forget
same if i was still with her if she loved me but was cheating on me with my best friend

[Kalashnikov]

Theres no way in hell i would forgive. It might just be because of the kind of person i am. I believe cheating on someone is an unforgivable act.

[.System]

I have been cheated on many times, most of the time they cheat me for my brother because he "works out" in our local gym and im a "Computer Nerd" but imo, brains over brawn anyday...

Anyway, if someone cheated on me i would be ok, im used to it.

[BabyLoving]

Hmm. I would forgive, but I wouldn't patch back. I mean, either he made a mistake out of folly, or he purposely tried to two time. Either way, trust is broken. I can't be with someone I don't trust. (:

[Lolable]

I will go with a "No"

Because even if I tried to forgive,I won't be able to trust again.

Besides if he did cheat on me,it will make me very self conscious and I will

feel very disappointed and lose my trust in him completely,I won't believe his

promises,I will be paranoid..etc.

So,why should I force myself to go through all this?..I will simply not forgive

him and even if he was really sincere and he won't do it again,perhaps I will

forgive him but I won't go back to him.


xD

[Kuroi Getsuga Tenshou]

If a Girl cheats on me I'll **** K***l her!
If I should ever Chea....Nah that will never happen because I'll never cheat!
Neva EVa Eva Everrr

[sweeter]

Everyone deserves a second chance, so yeah, I would forgive the other person. But only once.

If they cheat again, there would be hell to pay.

(:

[Project #22329]

A relationship is a bond between people...not just two many :]
Some attraction sexual or just visual will occur ALWAYS!!! 100%
Some think visual is somekind of cheating, some think kissing is cheation some say sleeping with another is cheating.
Imo it's not for the other person to decide if it was cheating or not....if you didn't think it was, because you like the other person more, than it's not..

if you have promised something to the person you "cheated" on in advance and you guys break up...now thats cheating!!!

[angelicdesire]

Well ive been in a few relationships where I have been cheated on. With them it was more of a they told me after they broke up with me. Which was very ****ed up, and of course I hated them and never forgave them for it.

But now this was a different situation, my bf Im with now, he did cheat on me with his ex, but told me after he broke up with me to go back to her. but he felt like shit and cried to me and yeah i was hurt but I forgave him. Long story short, I got him back. I didn't forget because in the back of my mind I always thought he could easily do it again with her. And it did come up not to long ago cuz she was moving to where he is, and that brought up everything in my mind. But he reasurred me that nothing was gonna happen, and not to mention they don't talk ne more. (Thank God, cuz I was gonna kill that *****) ahem.

So he said he would nvr cheat on me again, cuz he doesn't want to lose me again, and I believe him. Plus a little threat never hurts XD. just kidding...>.>

EDIT: I was just kidding in the last sentence

[Kefka]

Well ive been in a few relationships where I have been cheated on. With them it was more of a they told me after they broke up with me. Which was very ****ed up, and of course I hated them and never forgave them for it.
But now this was a different situation, my bf Im with now, he did cheat on me with his ex, but told me after he broke up with me to go back to her. but he felt like shit and cried to me and yeah i was hurt but I forgave him. Long story short, I got him back. I didn't forget because in the back of my mind I always thought he could easily do it again with her. And it did come up not to long ago cuz she was moving to where he is, and that brought up everything in my mind. But he reasurred me that nothing was gonna happen, and not to mention they don't talk ne more. (Thank God, cuz I was gonna kill that *****) ahem.
So he said he would nvr cheat on me again, cuz he doesn't want to lose me again, and I believe him. Plus a little threat never hurts XD. just kidding...>.>

<.<
>.>
<.<

you thretening me? O.o

Anyway..she basically summed up my experience with cheating/getting cheated on right there. I haven't been cheated on yet and I hope it never happens to me. I'm satisfied with the gf I have now. :biggrinlo

[Megalomania]

If they cheat on you, it seems obvious that they don't want the commitment to which they're abound by.
It also seems as if they want something more than you.

Cheating is - in most cases - a direct insult to you, and the values you hold.
They probably don't have the restraint and passion that you have.

I also believe that if it's happened once, it will probably happen again.

Although, I will admit, that some circumstances call for different actions. But for the most part, I guess people will have to think before cheating on me :p

[DatLatina!]

well somebody did cheat on me so when somebody cheats on u it proves that their not worthy enough to be with u

[Harley Quinn]

I've cheated before, I did respect my ralationship and I'd never do it again thats why I'd definitely give my partner a second hell even a third chance if he ever cheated on me.

[Kray]

ABSOLUTELY NOT

Been cheated on before, many times.


You know, it's really not that hard to say "no" to someone. At all.
I've never been the cheater, and always stay loyal


Haha, I feel very strongly about this.

[Angel_shikigami]

No, because if they want someone else, you know they don't want you. And if they did want you, they would be fateful.

[Gojira]

All it all really depends on the situation. I've never been cheated on but I have some friends who have and they ended up back together. I never really understood it and when I ask them why they took them back they just say they love them. It might seem like a weak excuse but honestly, I just think it has to do with a lot of things... Everyone makes mistakes and to forgive is truly divine. The relationships where I've seen people get cheated on, I've actually noticed that those are the ones that end up being the strongest down the road. I know that sounds crazy but I guess you can compare it to breaking a bone...

At first its painful and hard to move, but over time that break heals and actually becomes the strongest part of the bone. But, its a hard thing to judge... I guess, it just depends on the situation.

[Kuroi Getsuga Tenshou]

Cheating = Unforgivable

(*makes me wanna pull out a Chow-Yun-Fat shoot out*)

[Ushio Amamiya]

I DON'T FORGIVE CHEATERS, PERIOD.

[Lovekiller93]

It depends on what type of person he or she was, how your relationship was before the person cheated on you, and the type of personality you had in the relationship.

In certain cases, I will forgive them, if there was a good reason behind it. If not, then no, I will definitely not forgive them.

[Kuroi Getsuga Tenshou]

I DON'T FORGIVE CHEATERS, PERIOD.
That's right cuase they shouldn't be forgiven either!!!!!!

[WhyteDragon]

I broke off an engagement do to someone taking advantage of me. I felt like it was cheating.. but I know it wasn't and he even told that it didnt matter and that he would have gone over to the dudes house to kick his butt. I didnt want him to do that and I felt so wrong and like I wronged him. To this day I still care about him, though I know we will never be together again.

I have been cheated on, and have cheated to get someone to leave me. I didnt like being abused so I cheated to get him to leave.

I dont like cheating nor do I like cheaters.... I think in my book it depends on the situation and what happened to determine what happens between me and the other half in the relationship.

[Vlad]

No forgiveness for cheaters. If some one cheated on you it's pretty good indication that they do not want to be with you.

[DatLatina!]

never!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Reenee_2340]

ABSOLUTELY NO!!!
I have been cheated on b4 several times, and they always seem 2 notice what big mistake they have done. Its not my fault, its them for being stupid and curious

I personally think cheating is silly, immature, and a waste of time.....If you really are gonna cheat on someone, give me one good reason why are you gonna stay with them??? to hurt them??? Y dont you jus break up??? At least you wont hurt no one and can do your shyt in public without remorse or guilt.

Srry I take this matter madd serious lol

[L'Arc Enzeru]

Maybe i'll forgive em... cuz' i kinda like it that way... so that'll not make any conflict... BUT if i already forgive em and they still do it.... if i have Death note... kill...

[Aristocrat]

well..everyone deserves a second chance no matter what its like the saying forgive and forget i can forgive but i cnt forget =) everyone makes mistakes in their lifes no ones a saint and its a fact ovbiously everyone has a mistake and dont go lieing saying "no i havnt im an honest person" bullshit so what if they make mistakes even if u wouldnt go back together i reckon u still have to forgive you couldnt ignore them and you cnt block them from ur life unless they move countrys or u murder them lol but it is easyer to forgive he/she..

and NO ive never cheated before.

[caramal_crunch]

I totally agree with u X-Blushies, but how could u love them knowing they had fallen for sum1 else, even if they only had for a day or somethin!

[Vlad]

I totally agree with u X-Blushies, but how could u love them knowing they had fallen for sum1 else, even if they only had for a day or somethin!
Yep, relationship will never be the same. Some mistakes can't be forgiven.

[Reenee_2340]

it wudd jus make da relationship worse in a way b/c if you forgave then ur paranoid cuz u lost trust for someone and they cheated on u n u think they might do it again.....and then arguments wudd come up if u suspect anything and they obviously gonna deny it, and its hard 4 u 2 trust them after wha u went thru with them.....idk.............its a very confusing n frustrating situation, cuz u dont kno if u did da right thing on forgivin them n stayin 4 them.....n yea ppl do make mistakes, but dats not really sumthin 2 b playin around wit...........a person's heart...........


n no, I have NEVER cheated lol

[DatLatina!]

I'm say this again i will never forgive them

[Hannah]

i answered 'No' but i actually forgive him
i cant help it because i love him much
yes i forgive him but i dont trust him no more
very difficult relationship as of this moment
unlike before we we're so cute with no problems at all
just pure of love
but now, always have doubts on him

[7031]

Yep, relationship will never be the same. Some mistakes can't be forgiven.
I agree too. I might forgive them, but it would never be the same.

[DatLatina!]

cheaters prove they're not reliable 2 each other

[AmnesiaI]

I was dating this girl for about 2 1/2 years, she cheated on me after both of us had been faithful the entire relationship. It really changed the way I viewed the importance of our relationship and her character. I didn't take her back even though it was pretty hard not to, we haven't talked in about 4 years...

[DatLatina!]

aww thats sad

[Haskabab]

Depends on the situation.

[DatLatina!]

yea

[ichigo81195]

i would never forgive any1 if they cheated on me. if they did i would b so sad and pissed at the same time.

[Hathore]

i have been cheated on alot by the same girl and i didnt find out till later so i couldnt be mad but idk bout cheaters i can forgive.

[DragonBlade]

Depends on the situation.

Agree but most likely I wont forgive them. They can go to hell :)

[..::Mr 999::..]

I can't say for sure since I've never been in that situation.
I would most likely not be forgiving, though. Right now (since I've never been cheated on,) my view is that if I am loyal enough to my partner that I wouldn't be unfaithful, then I would expect the same from them. If they cheated, then it shows (at the very least) that they our relationship less than I do. I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't feel strongly about me/our relationship.
hey i same with you but if i`m in that situation i will apologize them:Domo

[+]-[+POPS+]

in most cases i'd have to agree but there are lots of factors to consider before passing absolute judgement.

[DatLatina!]

its like saying will u sleep with a dirty homeless person hell nah.... I wouldnt forgive.them cause theyre bound 2 do it again

[Tobi]

It just depends, if my girlfriend kissed another man I would forgive her but be cautious, if I knew she had sex with them, I wouldn't be able to forgive her, knowing that someone else just touched my girlfriend in a way that only I'm allowed, it just totally puts me off.

[DatLatina!]

It just depends, if my girlfriend kissed another man I would forgive her but be cautious, if I knew she had sex with them, I wouldn't be able to forgive her, knowing that someone else just touched my girlfriend in a way that only I'm allowed, it just totally puts me off.
ok... i understand ur drift but what if shes like kisses him all around

[Tobi]

By that, you mean? Oral sex?

Then yes, I wouldn't forgive her, it would just make me sick to the stomach.

[DatLatina!]

well i meant that but i also mean like all over him....not like oral sex

[Tobi]

If it's any kind of sexual activity, oral, intercourse it doesn't matter. I'd be out of her life, just thinking about it makes me feel sick.

[DatLatina!]

ok thats the kind of answer i was lookin 4

[Hathore]

what bout you matsu would you forgive?

[Tobi]

what bout you matsu would you forgive?

Are you saying you would cheat then?

*tsk* *tsk*

[Hathore]

hell no i would never cheat its against my morals as a man

[Anubisrage]

Thats one thing I can never forgive.

[A2k]

Okay...lets spice this discussion up a bit, it's kinda drab now after everyone having processed the same thing over and over again.

So, taking into account what you have all just been discussing, think about it this way and see what you come up with;

If your partner didn't cheat on you, but the pair of you split up and they very soon after got together with somebody else. When your (ex)partner realises they made a mistake in entering the new relationship, and cut it off from this new partner, could you forgive your love and welcome them back with open arms, or would you even want to?

Now there's a tough one for you. ^_^

[Chrono Detector]

^^ Probably not. It would be painful to see somebody that I once had a relationship split up with me just to be with somebody else and comes running back to me, to me, that proves that person did not care for you in the beginning. Just my point of view really.

[vivz178]

never forgive

[Yanniv]

Forgiveness is weakness in this case.

[Pyramus]

Nope! if a girl cheated on me i could never forgive her, i might eventurly be able to be friends with her, but no, i will never go out with her again! She would just be a *****!

[dragoneyes001]

nope because I wont cheat on them I expect the same amount of common courtesy back. besides your stupid if you let your partner get away with risking your life because they were willing to cheat on you, I've known too many partners who got STD's from cheaters if they can get herpes and pass it on they can get aids/hiv and pass it on don't belittle how much they are risking just for a romp elsewhere.

[Lex]

Never!

[Future]

i haven't even got anyone to cheat on me... so yes i would forgive them, on the basis that they have no one to chest on, cause in fact they don't exist themselves

[DatLatina!]

For me this is an opinion most people will not forgive those who worked so hard on their relationship then cheat on them,but I heard somebody was married for 20 yrs. and cheated on her for 3 yrs. that's what I heard

[Toasty]

I would be a hypocrite if I said "no, I won't forgive him." I have cheated on boyfriends before, though I've only cheated on any of them with the SAME guy... my first boyfriend. I even cheated on my hubby before we were married, but that was the end of it. He forgave me and I stopped talking to said ex-boyfriend for a LONG time. Now we're all friends again, but it's never happening again.

If my husband were to cheat on me, I'd forgive him depending on the circumstances and if he were really sorry. To me, saying "I'm sorry" means that it will never happen again. If he were to cheat twice? Nope. Not forgiving ... and bye bye to him!

[SoulReaper109]

I'd say no, but I've never been cheated on though :winking56 jk

[HyperReaper1]

I wouldn't unless it was my one of Friends I've known since kindergarden, or the one from first grade, I'd forgive them, that is if I ever go out with them...

[pharehcoi]

everyone deserves a second chance..but twice is enuf..:Domo

[T_Ichigo]

For me, it depends on what it is about, so I say yes and no on that question.

[momo-taichou]

I say....NO they don't because if they really like you or love you they wouldn't of done that in the first place :/

[Neko Kyo]

depends on the situation. in the case of what my ex did, let him rot

[Shazu_Misao~]

hmmm, if my partner was to cheat on me i would never forgive them and not trust them again, even if it hurts me more. If they promised never to do it again i wouldnt trust them, 1. because if they could do it once then they can definetly do it again, 2. forgiving them will make them take advantage of your trust, and go and break it again, trust isnt easily regained.

[Ciel]

I would say no.

Once a person cheats, you never really know if they will or will not do it again. Cutting the cheater loose would let you have a better life, in my opinion.

[kenicchi]

no, if they really cared about you, they wouldnt cheat on you, and to me, saying sorry isnt enough, because that kind of stuff shouldnt happen in the first place.

[Neko Ruki]

Every 1 can do better than a cheater and every 1 deserves better
http://rukia-k.zoints.com/image/66251-CBCarnivalRukia

[oekidani]

Well, this thread is about cheaters committing infidelity in a relationship.
Once a cheater always a cheater right?
If your partner cheated on you will you forgive them? Even if they say they will not cheat on you again, will you trust them?
Personally, I wouldn't. As that saying goes, "Once a cheater, always a cheater" which is true in most cases.

Let me explain something about the human personality. If a person is not ready for a commitment/the next step in a relationship/marriage then even if they meet their Dream guy or Dream girl something will go wrong in most cases.

If a person is feeling resentful for being tied down they will rebel in most cases leading to cheating. Cheaters will not always be cheaters. There are many aspects for a person to turn to cheating.

~They might not be ready for a relationship but for some reason are in one
~They might be neglected (don't get as much love/attention that they need from their significant other)
~They need to date around and test out if their love for you is that strong that they should choose to stay with you for the rest of their lives
~Maybe they don't even believe in the typical dating of being with just one person

Once people move on to the stage where they know they want to settle down cheating should not be a problem unless their is some sort of problems like your love died out and whatnot.

If someone would cheat on me i'd forgive them but i'd question if they are even ready for a relationship.

[Vladimir]

uu dun forgive them if they do multiple times. maybe for the first time uu forgive them but depends. if ur gf or bf cheat on uu, uu wanna forgive them? but for me.. i dun. i will say i forgive uu to them but i dun..

[Sokiri]

I wouldn't forgive someone if they cheated on me. If someone really wants to be with you, they shouldn't go around seeing someone else. I do know that someone can decide to change, but they would have to prove to me first that they'd never ever do it again before I even thought about forgiving them

[Edgey]

I would never forgive them, I wouldn't even talk to them, apart from caling them a "slut" in front of her new boyfriend, that would be pretty cool and say that she has genital warts, yeah make her life a living hell!

[opusx]

Let me explain something about the human personality. If a person is not ready for a commitment/the next step in a relationship/marriage then even if they meet their Dream guy or Dream girl something will go wrong in most cases.
If a person is feeling resentful for being tied down they will rebel in most cases leading to cheating. Cheaters will not always be cheaters. There are many aspects for a person to turn to cheating.
~They might not be ready for a relationship but for some reason are in one
~They might be neglected (don't get as much love/attention that they need from their significant other)
~They need to date around and test out if their love for you is that strong that they should choose to stay with you for the rest of their lives
~Maybe they don't even believe in the typical dating of being with just one person
Once people move on to the stage where they know they want to settle down cheating should not be a problem unless their is some sort of problems like your love died out and whatnot.
If someone would cheat on me i'd forgive them but i'd question if they are even ready for a relationship.

I understand your point, but your reasoning is off. All of the examples you gave are hardly a reason to lie and destroy someones confidence. A cheater is someone who can't control their impulses and cares more about their own base needs and desires than the person they pretend to be committed to. In all the examples you gave the person either should never have committed or should end it before cheating. The person selfishly wants to keep the "sure thing" and the love they already have, but they also want to go out and find someone to fulfill their selfish desires.
So forgive them? No. I would advise they seek counseling to get in touch with what it is they truly need in their life so that they can move on and not hurt anyone else in the future.

[Christian Lub]

well it depends the situation

[Priestess]

Depends on the situation but I probably wouldn't.

[Christian Lub]

yea knowing me i wouldnt either

[Fieldscarcrow]

My current gf cheated on me for some asshole (im not being rude or anyhting...I mean this guy literitly would TRY to hit an animal if he was driving a car) but I love her, so she said she could never do that agan (theres alot of backdrop) and I never heard her cry like that before when she told me, so I defintly forgave her. Do I trust her 100%? Nah, more like 80% But I do have faith that she wont do that ever agan

[atemikage]

id forgive them but i wouldnt date them id just be freinds cause ive made a rule with myself forgive and forget

[XING]

maybe but normaly i say no well if i hate that person

[5th of April]

Trust would be very difficult to gain back once you cheated on someone.

The question is would I give my trust again to someone who cheated on me?

Depends really.
If he's boyfriend then bye bye to him. I mean why prolong the suffering?
If he's my fiancee then "let's call of the wedding!" Thank goodness i discovered your lying ways.
If he's a husband.... tragedy! what a heartbreak! Yes, perhaps there is room for forgiveness.

[cent17_2000]

Well, the whole cheating thing is tough!! I cheated on my girl before and she cheated on me. We both tried to get over it, but either way it was a problem. You know it's easy to forgive, but hell to forget. We ended up separating for a while then we ended up getting back together. I know they say once a cheater always a cheater, but I hope it isn't so, because I'm trying my best to be good cause I really want to be with her and she says that she'll do anything to stay with me. We both agree to that we would stay faithful no matter the cost. I at least hope it has chance.
I couldn't answer the question at the top, cause before I knew how bad it hurt I would have said I never would have forgiven her, but even after being with a bunch of different girls after her I still want her and she still wants me, so I have to say I would at least try this once to resolve things, but only once!!

[Darkwatch]

Cheaters, meh.

I can forgive cheaters, given the person is nice and can understand things easily. Normally my gf's don't cheat on me unless they're insanely obsessed with getting physical with someone. And if I'm not enough, they go to others. Like I said, yes and no--I often don't forgive them until I think it through. And if I know they will do it again....well.............I just leave the person.

+

[DatLatina!]

Well if they were cheating on you for a very long time like a year or 2 then that is a thing I would never forgive espically if you married that shows that your not commited to caring for one another

[motoki]

Depends on what they cheated on....but i suppose this is meant in a relationship setting....
ummm, depends also. if it was a one-time thing....sure i guess. if it had been going on constantly....sure i'd forgive them, but i wouldnt be with them anymore. i'm big enough where i know no one is perfect and people stray sometimes, but just because we are no longer together doesn't mean we can't be friends.
so i say, most likely yes i'd forgive them.....staying with them is an entirely different thread altogether

[Taishaku]

I would say no.
Once a person cheats, you never really know if they will or will not do it again. Cutting the cheater loose would let you have a better life, in my opinion.


Forgive a cheater...Nah!

May God forgive them , but me...nope.

I will wait until I get my vengance then I will be happy.

[kinklebell]

Ive voted yes for the question. Omg im bumping this thread =X APologies hahas cause i was just browsing thru the threads and i found this topic interesting. Im kinda surprised to see majority voted no. haix

Frankly speaking, this case applies to me. Yes it sux in the beginning to found out you've been 2 timed by the one you think you can trust, love. Yet for me, he didnt only 2 time but 3 time. He sorta got back with his ex while hes still with me and i didnt know it. Then after that he stopped seeign his ex and then he met a new girl workign in a pub. They stead. I didnt know this untill a mutual fren called to tell me the news. I cried for the first time this year. Yea, previously i never cried. He was the first to make me cry for the first time this year. The feeling of betrayal and his lies are too bitter to swallow. Days and weeks after that, whenever i think of those happy times i shared with him, the places we go out together and even playign the same game-Maple Story just simply reminds me of him. yea i cried whenever i think back. i somehow coped with it by talking to frens and such... and in the end as time passes on, the hurt and the pain just faded away.

Till now, even sometimes i wil lthink back of those times and just feel sad bout it, to think how dumb i am to trust him so much, to fall so deeply for him. And thinking about the coldness and tone of his words whenever i chatter with him via sms or msn.. it still hurts .

Yet, in terms of forgiveness, ive never thought of whether i will forgive him or not to forgive him when he hurt my feelings. Maybe to soem of you, ur partner may have hurt you very deeply so that you cant forgive them, i dunnoe. But for me, when breaking up, he didnt tell me himself and find a mutual fren to do it.. and 3 timed me, i guess the damage done is severe >_<... but now as i thik of whther i wil lforgive him or not, i guess yes, ive forgiven him long ago.

I didnt hate him, i didnt despise him or anything. I just take it as fates not workign for the both of us or rather i know that relationships dont last at all. Ive looked pass that factor. No point in brooding over the failed relationship and live in hated for him. =] Forgiveness? yea

Ive forgotten and forgiven. =]

[sherenetms]

Well, i can forgive....but i definitely wont feel the same for him again. People always said...you gotta understand, you gotta trust him...well, what's trust when someone abused it? So, conclusion is, a guy may have friends who are females, he can go to parties with them and he can socialise with them, provided the line between just being plain pals and being more than just a friend isnt crossed.

[kinklebell]

^ agree, i hated my trust to be betrayed. Well im kinda dumb to turst every single word he said thou...
Hmmx guys and girls can be very good frens.. and i rather to be in that position than being in a bgr

[hXd]

This is a tough question for me to answer.

If you're really devoted to someone, you want the relationship to work. No matter what happens. I guess that's why people tend to forgive when their partner cheats. You kinda feel like the time and effort you put into the relationship would go to waste if you cut it off.

I'm seeing someone now, and to be quite honest, I don't know what I'd do if she cheated. Part of me would say get her out of your life immeaditely, you don't need her to keep hurting you. I'm the type of person who values trust and loyal a lot, so I normally don't take matters of betraying trust lightly. Someone I know once said "A leopard never changes it's spots", which could translate to 'once a cheater always', and can be applied to many other things.

But then the other part wouldn't want to lose her because of one mistake. Life is basically a process of trial and error, and we learn from what we do right and wrong. Some would say you can't judge a person from one thing they've done in their entire life (unless it's something extreme like Hitler).

So it all really boils down to perspective, whether or not you view the world in black and white (right and wrong), or in shades of grey, in which right and wrong as not always so plain. Like if you were to beat someone up for harassing one of your friends. Beating someone up is wrong, but you did a good thing by defending your friend. It's really a double-edged sword.

I've started to ramble, so I'll leave it there. I hope you understand what I've tried to say hahaha.

[ishi-chan]

If I really loved the guy and I knew he was genuinely sorry and would never do it again, I might consider forgiving him if he only kissed another girl, but if he did more I would never forgive him or infidelity afterwards from any guy.

[DarkSlayer]

Life is about choice. When the cheater "cheats" they had a choice to either do what they wanted to do at the time or be a responsible individual and do what's right. When you get into a relationship with someone, it's common sense to know what's right or wrong. Think about it, would you want your gf/bf to be hanging on/kissing on/fill in the blank with someone else? Obviously not. Especially if they mean anything to you. So what gives you the right to go and do that to them? And if you really cared for the person you're with, you'd feel some sense of guilt or betrayal to the person right from the start.

And that "Oh what if he/she was drunk?" bs - it's an excuse. If you know you're going to be consuming some sort of substance that's going to make you act in any other manner than you would have if you were sober, then you're puttig yourself in a situation to get into trouble. If you're old enough to be considered an adult and buy/consume alcohol in the first place, then act like an adult and grow up. If you're not old enough, then you shouldn't be drinking or using any other substances of that nature.

[Undying]

"The fool never forgives and never forgets. The greater fool forgives and forgets. The wise forgive, but never forget."

I could forgive cheaters.

But that would still end the relationship.

It's as simple as that.

I am loyal to my girl. I expect the same in return. Failure to comply will result in a swift cutting of lines.

[mochimochil3]

[QUOTE=Undying]"The fool never forgives and never forgets. The greater fool forgives and forgets. The wise forgive, but never forget."QUOTE]

Kind of like "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong" -Gandhi

Anyhow, of course cheating is very wrong and people who do it are idiotic. I've been cheated on before...twice (stupid bad boys and stupid me for getting with stupid bad boys) and I have eventually learned to forgive them because it's a waste of time to keep holding onto the pain. Forgive and move on...don't forget but don't get depressed about it. Learn from the mistake. Karma bites back so eventually the sucker will get what he/she deserves.

Trust is a whole different issue. Yes, forgiving is easier than trusting, so of course that person would need to show improvements and show that he/she is mature enough before you consider giving the person back your trust. And mind you...start with a tiny bit of trust!

[_Ink]

forget is really my case, who cares? The ***** tries to take my wallet, but did not succeed, I managed to snag an Ipod for my birthday using her money.

SO yeah, I cna say I am cheated happily enough.
contented, to be exact, especially after she found out I am dating her friend. (A close one too) hahahahha, PWNT!

[Tai Dai]

I would not forgive her, if she cheats it is over. I'm a forgiving person but when it comes to cheating, it is the number 1 thing I'm against,

[kinklebell]

I think theres a slight confusion on what type of forgiveness the question posed. Forgiveness as in you forgive the cheating partner and still stay as couple OR you found out the partner cheated and somehow broke up and you still forgive him/her though you are not a couple anymore.

[-Renae-]

I won't forgive cheaters. I forgave one of my ex's for cheating once. He did it again. I forgave him that time only for him to turn around to do it again. Found out that he did, kicked his ass to the curb for it. I still haven't forgiven him for that and it was quite sometime ago. Thanks to him, I'll hold grudges on cheaters for who knows how long.

[-=Yanayo=-]

i'd be deverstated if my bf cheated on me - and id probably lose my grip for a while but depending on how he cheated and in what situation i might be able to forgive him, but i can be extremly sensative so mainly i couldn't

[Barbaroi]

I've been cheated on before and did the same thing Renae did. I forgave her the first time I found out to see if we could either work it out or to see if she would do it again. Turns out the crying was a big lie and she did it again (lol go figure, once a cheater always a cheater). After that it was literally we're through, cya *click*. I won't forgive cheating. I've seen people use alcohol as an excuse among other things, but the fact of the matter is, if you care for the person your with, alcohol won't stand in the way of a true relationship. I've been drunk plenty of times, never forgot what I did the night before, or made stupid decisions (well... "stupid" decisions I've made but nothing involving harming phsyically or emotionally of another person.. only myself) so I say hell no on forgivness for cheaters.

[DarkSlayer]

"The fool never forgives and never forgets. The greater fool forgives and forgets. The wise forgive, but never forget."

I could forgive cheaters.

But that would still end the relationship.

It's as simple as that.

I am loyal to my girl. I expect the same in return. Failure to comply will result in a swift cutting of lines.

Very well said, Undy.

[iladys]

"The fool never forgives and never forgets. The greater fool forgives and forgets. The wise forgive, but never forget."

I could forgive cheaters.

But that would still end the relationship.

It's as simple as that.

I am loyal to my girl. I expect the same in return. Failure to comply will result in a swift cutting of lines.
The silent adviser you are Eli. I agree with you completely.

[Rhea]

Personally, I think Undying has kinda summed up what I wanted to say. Well said :D

I would be able to forgive the person who cheated however, I would not return to a relationship with them. Trust is a massive thing in a relationship and not being to trust the person despite theirs and your best intentions will slowly corrode the relationship. I think, for me, if the person cheated I would able to be friends with them and forgive them, but I would not trust them to be in a relationship with them. I would be more cautious....Fool me once and all that jazz :D

[GrimX]

i wouldn't forgive them. it happened to me twice first time i said ill give you one more chance then she done it again so i dumped her.

[+]-[+POPS+]

there are to many variables in the equation to give a concrete YES, or NO. I know it's difficult to get past, but not imposable.

[Ankh13]

If someone cheated on me I would never be able to forgive them. THey broke my trust. They could of easily broke up with me if they wanted to sleep with someone else.
Now would I date a guy who cheated before? Yes but Id be paranoid sometimes

[Graffik]

Heck no, I hate being lied to, and misled, If my girl cheated on me, tried covering it up, then get found out, I'd be in a very Homocidal state of mind, (Warning Psycho: please keep all weapons out of NY)

[Sushi]

watch the maury show. More than 99.99% of the time the same couples return to the show for another infidelty problem. No, if your cheated on, you can can do better. Move on.

[narutoandino]

i would not forgive them if they did it on purpose but i would forgive them if they were like attacked

[DarkSlayer]

i would not forgive them if they did it on purpose but i would forgive them if they were like attacked

I'm assuming you're refering to rape.

Rape is a totally different story.

If rape were the case, I'd have to go NYBalla style and go postal on the one who violated my woman.

[Graffik]

I'm assuming you're refering to rape.
Rape is a totally different story.
If rape were the case, I'd have to go NYBalla style and go postal on the one who violated my woman.

ROFL, Looks like I've gotten noticed..

[Kenji]

No, it's a simple thing they went into their decision to be with someone else.

Everyone knows that if you try something once you'll be very tempted to do it again, I couldn't take the pain of being hurt twice.

[windhurst]

hell no i hate ppl who cheat on me. those kinds of ppl really piss me off!! they could beg me to forgive them nothing is goin to make me forgive them. absolutly NOTHING!

[RyuTenchu]

hell no lol i would never forgive

[Cross Marian]

If its a one time thing and they don't do again - Then probably I will forgive.
If they keep doing it, have multiple parters, or anything pertaining to that, than no, because its obvious they either:
- Only want me as an accessory
- Never loved me in the first place
- Are a complete douche bag

[KholdStare]

Forgive, but never forget

[FaerieRose]

I have to agree with KholdStare on this one. I've been cheated on before and know how much it hurts. I voted yes to forgive my mate but that doesn't mean I'll forget that I was betrayed either. It's easy to be angry but it's harder to forgive and that is what you have to remember. It also takes two to Tango too.

[Dope Hat]

Nope - I'd never forgive a cheater.
I wouldn't be sure if he|she cheats again - therefore I can't trust that person anymore.

[noue]

ummm...
lets see...
ummm,,
hecks NO..lol...
once a cheater is alwaise a cheater.. and i go by that...

[Aina1]

yes as long as he means from his heart.

[Night Prowler]

I give them one more chance, as I've been given so many chances in my life i'd feel like a hypocrite if I didn't.

[Miyu]

I think it depends on the person. I would not forgive a cheater and wouldn't cheat myself. But there is people that would forgive but not forget.

My friend cheated really bad on her boyfriend of years, then the guilt was eating her alive so she told him, after a few weeks he went to her house and made up. But everytime they fight, the cheating fact comes out.

Anyway, I think after cheating there is no more trust in the relationship, so there is not really a point to it anymore.

[White Wolf]

Hell no.

[Captain BenZ]

Depending on the situation, I can forgive only if she is truly sorry and promises never to do it again, otherwise if it was something serious that she chose to do, I'll have a hard time finding myself being forgiving.

[ChocoKitten]

Yes, I just won't talk or be around them.

[Victory]

I agree with most of the replies, depend on situation. There's one thing that I wanted to point out though.. TRUST is very important in a relationship and if your partner could cheat on you once then there will also be a second time!

[♥ Ayalicious ♥]

If he's bored with me, he should just say so and break up with me. Why cheat?

Anyway, if he does, I'll probably not forgive him, or rather - laugh bitterly at life, accept his choice, and move on. He'll become a figment of my past, not my present embitterment.

There's 6.6 billion folks in the world. At least half are men. I'll always be able to find a precious little darling who won't cheat on me, so why linger on a man who can't set his priorities straight with me?

[ashiin]

Usually no, but if i could really really trust that girl with my life and know it's a honest mistake...

still no. I can't forgive someone for doing something like that to me...

Most of the time.

[BryanLicksYou]

cheating shouldn't be forgiven but it'd be just better to break up =\

[ashiin]

letting it hang around won't do any good. Confrontation is the best thing to do in this situation.

[Vincent-Grimm]

No.

I don't necesserily believe the "Once a cheater only a cheater" but at the same time, no matter how long we've been together, if someone cheated on me that would be it for us.

Best part it (Slash worst part for some) if you finish with them, sure it will hurt you having to let go, but can you imagine how it much feel for them? They would KNOW it was their fault and they would punish themselves for it and I say....So be it.

A few of my ex's cheated on me and almost all of them fell into a circle of self-hate :toocool:

[Chi]

My thoughts on this...

You reap what you sow... If you cheat on me then its most likely my fault for not giving you everything you sought. Should you do it again though then most likely it would be over but in the rare chance its not over then you can't hold it against me should i step out of our relationship and seek something else where from someone else. So I am a strong proponent of think before you act because I am not stupid nor am I gullible, that oh i was drunk shit won't work on me... Plenty of times i've been drunk and could hold myself accountable for my actions. But anyways if you do it then don't think i won't is all am saying so it might as well be over...

[Reyin]

See, I would probably think "what did I do wrong"... for about 30 seconds, then it more than likely go to, hey when it comes down to it, it wasn't my decision to cheat, it was hers. The over all answer is no, I wouldn't forgive them. I'm forgiving when it comes to small things, but when it comes to betraying my trust, it's almost impossible to get it back.

[FullMetal Rebel]

Hell no! You can be a dumbass and catch some disease if you forgive cheaters(true story), cause guess what............THEY WILL DO IT AGAIN!!!

Don't be surprised when you have some green/yellow pus coming out of your "areas" or when you live life not looking forward to taking a piss(The 40 who would forgive)

[Reyin]

lol =x, on that note though, I don't see how anyone would enter into a relationship with someone who cheated on their significant other with you. You know they are willing to cheat, why even set yourself up for the inevitable.

[Rainl]

No. When you cheat, you break the trust in the relationship and its never actually gained back. Yes you may tell yourself that "hey we're together again thats all that matters, now he/she is passed that", but honestly don't kid yourself. There is and will always be that suspicion that utters in your head.

You realize that if he/she has done it once, it isn't unlikely that he/she won't do it again. The cheater, may also be aware that since he/she has done it. You may do it to him/her out of mere spite.

So as long as you have that in mind, your relationship technically, will never be how it once was. Because you too will remain suspicious of each other, and this will continually arouse to arguments and questions of why, where, and when all the time. Steadily causing the relationship to drift apart.

So whats the point in taking them back, when you could waste less time doing it and just move on.

[Christian Lub]

honestly...in my eyes it depends on the situation

[vlady]

Maybe for about 10 seconds I would just stand there pissed. After that I would why they felt the need to do so then after that when they are done with what they say I will tell them to get out with out even thinking about it. I would tell them you should have just broken up with me then drop them like dead weight.

[Do'Urden]

No. End of story.

[Joan]

It all depends on the situation. And how serious the act of cheating actually was.
I have forgiven cheating because of circumstances before..

[Future]

^ Yes i agree, if your partner had sex with someone else, it wouldn't forgive them, but if it was like a kiss or something, i guess so.

[Hime-chan]

yes because I'm such a forgiving and loving person :p

[Jeggo]

Cheating does not always indicate that your mate is bored of you, doesn't like you anymore or wants to make a change.

It's the nature of human to want to experience as much as he can in his life.

Stil , I wouldn't forgive easily. I'd probably do the same , as immature as this might seem.

[shanyetta]

You're a little too vague about forgiving them.

I voted yes, I would forgive them... BUT...I would not stay with them. I would leave them.

I believe that we should forgive people for things so that we release ourselves from the pain, but that wouldn't mean that I would remain in a relationship with that person.

[yume_morpheus]

I would like to say yes, but I'm a remarkably unforgiving person. For any positive personality traits I have, I've been crossed enough times that crossing me now guarantees condemnation. XD

My Writer's Craft teacher, for example, used to be my favourite person in the world. One day, she got pissed, or drunk, or the two together, and flamed me out for apparently something I handed in that was so appallingly bad for me that she cursed at me. It's been half a year, and I still hate her.

[DatLatina!]

I would not forgive them because that practically means that they do not earn your trust in anyway. I mean it's a bad thing to go off with someone else rather then staying with someone you already have to spend your time with. I mean unless they were complete a**holes, then I don't know what I would do in a situation like that necessarily. But also a person deserves a second chance once in awhile if they seem to want to continue the relationship even what they did was bad. But if the person does not care at all and does not seem interested to continue the relationship but still wants you to forgive them for no reason what so ever,then I wouldn' forgive them. But I doubt they would even apoligize if they're jerks so yeah...That's my whole explanation right there

[Fallgore]

Depends on the circumstances and whatnot, but if the girl was just feeling lonely - hell no. But just because we're in a bad fight doesn't make it right, either. I'm guessing I wouldn't in that case, either...

My girlfriend said she'll forgive me if I did because she loves me more than anything and she thinks I'm the one for her; which I do feel the same, but just beginning college, going to separate ones for the matter, is hard to tell; you know, teenage love. I want to believe it, but I'm not too sure myself, lol. But she said she would, she knows she would, because she wouldn't be able not to do so, but me... Well, I guess in time I would, but my heart would sting for the longest time.

Isn't it hard to wonder if that person is thinking of someone else when you're lie in bed or kiss them?

Never been cheated on myself, and I've never really cheated on someone else (broke up with someone for someone, in a way, but things were already going down hill in the previous, not to mention, it wasn't going to get better), but the thought really does suck :S

[Abarai]

depends on how serious the relationship is. if i was married to them or had been with them for a long time and i was sure it was a one off thing, and if i thought that they were truly sorry,then i would probably forgive them. if not then no.

[Lusania]

If I loved them, and they cheated I totally wouldn't dump and end it right away.
I would find out why and if there sorry D; .. and forgive.. but it'll be hard to trust them again. But if it was only a recent hook up then meh, not worth it I'd end it.

[Fallgore]

In the end, I think if you really love them, then you can't help but to forgive them, no matter how much you don't want to. I think it's just how it is; my girlfriend is the same way. She knows she'd forgive me for anything I did to her, but how those things would make our relationship is a different story ;P. Personally it would be the same with me I suppose, but the pain wouldn't go away for the longest time...

Still, if you really don't want to cheat, then remove yourself from the temptation :p

[Nail]

I did.

It was a mistake.

A couple months later when she dumped me... I have a hard time recalling exactly how I felt. I felt really happy for some reason. A coping mechanism, I think. Then, the next day I felt... terrible. More depressed and sad than I ever have in my entire life. Pitiful. From then on it was like a gradient of sadness, from greatest to least... over several months, with brief moments of happiness spanning from minutes to weeks. I think for every great sadness, we have a muscle in our chest, closest to our heart. And for every day that muscle tears and flexes and burns, it gets stronger.

Looking back, I mostly feel stupid about the whole thing.

[+mw.pmi]

Forgive them, forget about their wrong, and move onward beyond them. Strengthen up yourself and spend about at least a year before approaching another relationship. Give yourself time for your consciousness to weedout those 'spirits' and thoughts of the former person whom cheated upon you, as to recognize similar behavior in the next relationship if you allow one to be joined with you. Else, you'll end up attracting the same, if not similar conscience of that which you just left away from.

[xxSenbozakura]

it depends on the situation, if she was my gf and she cheated i would just show her the door but if u are married for a long time and it happens, it becomes quite complicated,
For me it could either be a yes or a no depending on the situation but i am leaning more towards the no.

[Pierrot]

I'd never forgive a cheater. I expect complete commitment and loyalty in a relationship, it's not much to ask for, I'd never cheat so I'd expect the same. If they felt the need to cheat I'd sooner they just ended the relationship so they could be with that person, rather than string me along.

[Papercuts]

There is no way I could forgive my g/f if she cheated on me. Im a very faithful person and base my relationships off of that and well if she cheated on me it would be flat out over. That has to be the worse feeling ever, someone your building a relationship with and they destroy it with unfaithful acts. I dont think I would even be friends with her after that. Im not a jealous person nor a person who holds grudges, but for this I would make a exception.

[Rascal0302]

Yeah, no forgiving on that. People do deserve second chances....but that doesn't mean it has to be with you =o

[Taki~]

wow hey check it out most of teh ppl that would forgive are guys and
most of teh ppl that wouldnt are girls :Haha i find something funny about that

but anyway what i think is it depends on the person and what they did
if your willing forgive them maybe you might want to look at your self and
just how much the relationship is worth to you.

oh teh other hand i myself would forgive you cause its in
my nature but on then again i have been will known to forgive
but not ever trusting that person every again like i did before
they betrayed my trust so i most likey not be with that person:D

[Ice Prince]

My answer is simple: No

I don't care how much I love them, or how much I know they love me. I know that's very harsh to say, but it's just how I've always been.