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View Full Version : my first fanfic


Monkey_man
06-16-2007, 01:51 AM
a burning log crushing my arm "oh dear god someone please save HELP ME GOD.".......BEEP BEEP BEEP my squad leader standing over me "ok get up"
"wha kaki why are you here?" "remember mission." "oh crap sorry." I got dressed nad ran out the door the rest of my squad members were standing outside well then I turned around I and forgotten to get kamachi then he jumps out the window land om my shoulder we dash out the gate then there is a rullse in the tree then a kuni fly out cutting clean thought the Branch we are standing on we all all to the ground I look around all my squad member landed on very rocky ground hitting there head giving them all a slight concussion I yell to kamachi to jump on my head I make alot of hand seals
my name is shezemoru uzumaki and I was born with a strange ability to learn kakki genkia.
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I might make another capter if people like it

Tablo.
06-16-2007, 02:38 AM
.....

ok, i don;t understand a thing.

The form is sort of messy. >.< And the only punctuation i found is the quote marks.

I was just trying to help. T_T (i do suck at story making)

Monkey_man
06-18-2007, 07:48 AM
I think I will make a new one