What you will never hear in Bleach

[KonBankai]

I have seen topics similar to this one a while ago. The idea is to think of funny conversation that go against the spirit of Bleach's characters.

Thanks to Google, I managed to find one like this; here is an extract (just to give you an idea in case you want to read more). I hope that it is allowed :)
Note that most of them were written in 2005.

From: http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=26569

- Renji: Hey, I won a fight!
- Kenpachi: Bankai!
- Hanatarou: Bankai!
- Touzen: Did you see how awesome my Ban-kai was? NEITHER DID I!
- Hitsugaya: Rangiku...I'm crazy about those melons!
Rangiku: *slaps him* Call me in ten years.

- Kenpachi: I want a rest! I hate violent people.
- Ukitake: I'm cured!
- Byakuya: Happy new year everybody! Lets Partyyyyyyyyyy!!
- Byakuya: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
- Ichigo: We should call for back-up!
- Ichigo: OH NO! Ive ran out of blood!
- Gin: *crying* you're so insensitive! I have feelings too! *sobs*
- Unohana: Aizen, your ambition stops now (Takes out sword) Bankai!!!!
Aizen: (Starts to quiver) Sorry ma'am


Now, let's make fun of the arrancars and the vaizards :)

- Shinji: Ok, here is our plan... !@|ù:$^:&$... What, you can't hear it? Well, I guess you will have to wait the Winter War
- Grimmjow: Please Ichigo, I just want us to be friends
- Ulquiorra: I could break out of this Negacion now, but I'm waiting for Kubo's order
- Ichigo: Hey Ogichi, I need some help here
- Nnoitra: Inoue, heal Ichigo so that we have a fair fight
- Nell: (Releasing) Swallow, Vampira (and she sucks the life out of Nnoitra)
- Aizen: I'm tired of all this. Bankai!

[Juujika]

Ulquiorra: I feel so emo right now, i should slit my wrists
Grimmjow: I asked ikkaku for eye liner tips
Inoue: Ulquiorra's skin is surprisingly soft
Noitora: I'm so lonely.. i want a puppy..
Yammi: I want to read a book
Aizen: *sigh* where is all the hot single girls around here?
Gin: I miss scaring Rukia chan
Tousen: You kow we really had a beautiful sunset last night...wonderwice...
Wonderwice: I love you tousen..
szealpolo: *starts smoking* was it as good for you? as it was for me?
Ulquiorra: Why is there a wii system in this demension.. oo the new super smash brothers!



Nell: Ichigo belongs to nell now! you can take that big chested girl back to las noches
Ichigo: Daaaaaamn son, nell is lookin fine!
Renji: My god this espada isn't dead yet? we seriously suck..
Ishida: I think i've been scar'd for life.. watching an arrancar have a orgasm is weird..
Rukia: *cough* *cough* Kubo you jerk, i'm suppose to marry ichigo stop bringing in new hotter girls you jackass!


Urahara: *scratches ass* Yourichi bring me a beer will ya?
Yourichi: I should have stayed with soifon.. *sigh*
Isshin: Iccccchigo! i miss my ichigo! now who am i gonna flex muscles with *tear drop*


Shinji: *flips page* huh, so this is the new surprise ending of the hueco mundo arc, haha guess ichigo won't be the same after whats about to happen.
All other viards: Lets sing a christmas song!

[Hajar]

Very Funny indeed especially the part with yourichi.:biggrinki

[King3833]

Ichigo : BAN......!!!!..ughh... what was it again?

[Tsuki Garyuu]

umm KonBankai? A topic like this should be posted on the Fan Creations section or the Fanfic section.

[blah]

hehe...
Aizen: Cocaine is a powerful drug.
Ichigo: Kaa-mee-haaa-meeee-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
Yamamoto: I'm tired! I'm gonna retire!
Grimmjow:I am pretty, oh so pretty. I am pretty and giddy and....
Yumichika: ...You're soo gay!
Hinamori: Die, mutha****er! *Stabs Aizen*

[KonBankai]

umm KonBankai? A topic like this should be posted on the Fan Creations section or the Fanfic section.
Oh, this section is the only one that I really read, so I wasn't familiar with the others. Maybe a moderator can move it...

[sweeter]

- Ulquiorra: I could break out of this Negacion now, but I'm waiting for Kubo's order
;)

Ulquiorra: OMG YAY!

(:

[Undying]

Ulqiorra: oh a puppy, how cute.

[Kurita77]

Aizen: Im tired of playing all these mind games on people. I'll just tell em what im going to do yay!
Zaraki: Ikkaku, yumichika come fix my hair for me

[Jeggo]

Zaraki : I wont fight again.

[KonBankai]

Rukia: Pfft. I have been lying on the floor for hours. Tell me if I'm dead already.
Kubo: Only a few more chapters and I will start thinking about it.

Ichigo: So cool. I'm the main character. I keep getting stronger. Before you know it, I will own Aizen and then, I will rule the world. Bwahahahaha!!!
Kubo: But, you are still a virgin :P

Inoue: My power are still increasing. I wonder if I can reject the existence of Bleach... * Sōten Kisshun, I reject! *
Kubo: No, wait. You are not supposed to... Hey, what am I doing here with a pen.

[Sandra]

Byakuya: No can't fight, I have a bad hairday.

[Grimjaw_Bankai]

Uahara:BANKAI
Shunsui: my shikai attacks by summoning llamas

[Juujika]

lmao... but your still a virgin, CLASSIC! Thats a really funny one

[silverwolf801]

Zaraki:Yachiru I am your father

[King3833]

Byakuya : Renji.... I love you

[silverwolf801]

Byakuya: Rukia I love you

[blah]

Urahara: I got the idea by smoking a lot of pot!
Y'know what, that actually does sound like something he'd say XD

[silverwolf801]

Ulquwhatever:I don't love you aizen-sama

[Neko Xab]

Shunsui: Nanao, I am in no way attracted to you, so please respect my personal space and quit groping me.
Tousen: Aah! Ohmigod I can't see!
Orihime: Chocolate? No thanks, I'm on a diet.
Ulquiorra: Oh, it's a beautiful morning!
Noitora: Hey baby, you're one hot dish. Come over here and run away with the spoon.

[Hikari]

Ulquiorra: What is this 'goth' you speak of?

Matsumoto: What's a bra?

[silverwolf801]

Aizen: i don't want to be in heaven I just want cookies

[Jeggo]

Aizen : BUWHAHAHAHAHA

[Neko Xab]

Byakuya: *crying* I made you noodles... But I weared them.
Renji: Taichou! Stop being a pussy!

[Undying]

Ichigo: OH **** THE SCRIPT!
Inoue: Kurosaki-kun!
Ichigo: COME ON URYU BABY!

^lame and old, I know. But I couldn't resist :p

[Neko Xab]

Ulquiorra: Orihime? Hell yeah! I'd totally tap that ass!

[BleachAlchemist]

Ichigo: KON!!! <3
Kon: ICHIGO!!!!<3

Ulquiorra: Orihime? Please eat, or else
Orihime: Shut up you asshole
Ulquiorra is silent
Other Arrancars: Ohhhh, you just got PWNED!!!!

Kon: OH NO!!! ATTACK OF THE BOOBIES!!! RUN!!! AWAY!!!

[Twister1352]

Ulquiorra: I FAKED EVERY ORGASM AIZEN!!

lol sorry, just couldn't help myself... hes in love with aizen

[dyrinn45]

nice tits.





to about 30 characters which are really well endowed

[Yvese]

Orihime: Ichigo.. I.. I love you
Ichigo: Wah?
Orihime: I.. I have wanted to tell you long ago, but I've been too shy
Ichigo: It's ok. Let's do it!
Orihime ( Undresses )
Ichigo ( Faints )

Something we'll never see or hear lol.

[Hitsugaya Tōshirō]

Hitsu: Orihime, I stole your panties while I was staying at your place the other weekend...

[Sher0uz]

Yama: (Flexes in front of mirror) 1000 years and i still got it baby!
Ulqiourra: Why do I always have to do all the biatch work? I patrol, give reports, pop out my eye just so these morons can figure out what happened, and feed our pet. This is a shitty gig.
Halibel:What's a bra?

[anubis24354]

Ishido: Ichigo, come stay the night tonight, and let me show you the true Quincy pride.

[Hitsugaya Tōshirō]

Yachiru: *walks into a bar* HEY EVERYONE! Ken-chan will be giving out $1 handjobs in the corner!

[silverwolf801]

Orhime: O F*** it ichigo lets get naked

[ultimate]

Orihime: Oops, I think I stepped on one of my Shun Shun Rikka fairies...

Ukitake to Hitsugaya: I am your father!
Hitsugaya: Noooooooooooo!!

Hitsugaya: My name is Hitsugaya and like Edward Elric, I am also extremely short

Yammy: If Ulquiorra's eye can regenerate, I'm sure mine can too! [Rips out eye and is now in unbelievable pain]

[silverwolf801]

Ulquorria: What is this feeling in my being. I feel happy

[Juujika]

Ichigo: Orihime.. yor boowbs are tooo big, there kwillin me!

Orihime: Orihime boob smash attack!!

[silverwolf801]

Rukia: Think I should get plastic surgery for ichigo

[BleachOD]

Ukitake...Doctor says I am as fit as a fiddle.

Tousen...I can see

Aizen : Kurosaki, Ichigo I will not need my Zankpaku-to, to defeat you...I will use my greatest attack. RASEANGAN!

Ichigo: Orihime...I have always loved you

Aizen: Crap I broke my glasses, and my vision is 20 -30

[silverwolf801]

Ichigo: rukia I love you.

[BleachOD]

Ichigo: rukia I love you.Umm this is a "What you will never hear in Bleach thread" "Not what you are going to hear in Bleach sooner or later :headbang "


*Whispers* You know if I didn't know any better...I would think you are not feeling warm and fuzzy towards me.

Hitsugaya...Gin has always been my best friend, not Hinamori

Urahara: Ok. I am going to tell you guys everything.

[silverwolf801]

Yammi. I think it's time to put down my fist and pick up a book.
Naw were cool. BleachOD

[Undying]

Umm this is a "What you will never hear in Bleach thread" "Not what you are going to hear in Bleach sooner or later :headbang "
I believe that "what you will never hear in Bleach" quite fits the description of some fans' dreams, and besides Rukia is dead.


Ichigo: OMG! I decided to rape Yoruichi!

[lotus7]

Halibel: Does this outfit make me look slutty?

Chad: God i'm bored. Maybe i'll go drown some kittens or something.

Aizen: Who the hell thought that a stone chair was a good idea? i better get a silk velour on this thing in the next five minutes or somebody is going to get it in the neck.

and this one is sort of off topic, but i found it funny nonetheless.

http://img237.imageshack.us/img237/4613/panteramv9.jpg

[Sher0uz]

LMAO @ the panther

Tousen: "I'm kaname tousen...*****."

[Klavier Gavin]

Gin: Hey, Tousen? Can you see that? Opps, I forgotten that you're a blind ass.

Ichigo: Yoruichi is hot. Who cares about Inoue, Nell or Rukia? I'll take them later, but Yoruichi comes first. Rukia can just die already, I'm not interested in washing boards.

[ultimate]

Tousen: They say I am the Shinigami version of Mace Windu from Star Wars

Ichigo: Hehe, I really do bleach my hair orange

Aizen: Damn Ulquiorra! He told me Hueco Mundo was an island resort!

[silverwolf801]

Aizen: Damn Ulquiorra! He told me Hueco Mundo was an island resort!
hahaha a resort.
Aizen Damn where are my glass.
Gin: *whispers* uh well you did destroy them for that I am a God effect back in Soul Society.
Aizen: fine call lens crafters

[ultimate]

Aizen: If I steal the King's Key, pretty soon I will be taking over the world, just like Microsoft!

Yammy: Damn, its hard to eat with this piece of mask underneath my chin

Yamamoto: Next person who calls me Dumbledore is dead!

[Juujika]

pink panther!!! LOL, omg its been so long since i saw that cartoon.

[anubis24354]

Aizen: If I steal the King's Key, pretty soon I will be taking over the world, just like Microsoft!


addition:

Bill Gates: *appears using flash step* You'll have to get through me first! *puts on a techy hollow mask*

[Zolo]

Ryuuken: Shinigami are the key to our success for killing hollows.

[KholdStare]

addition:
Bill Gates: *appears using flash step* You'll have to get through me first! *puts on a techy hollow mask*

Hahah, I just imagined Bill Gates with Shinji's mask on his face.

Zaraki: I don't feel like fighting.

Gin: NO I WILL NOT STOP SMILING.

Urahara: That is impossible.

[Aleister]

Ichigo: meh, Fck it! I really don't feel like saving her.

[ultimate]

Yammy: When I was still alive on Earth, I was known as Nappa [from DBZ] but I got killed by my partner Vegeta, luckily Ulquiorra is much nicer to me

Ulquiorra: Back on Earth, my name was Vegeta

Aizen: Ulquiorra, show some enthusiasm! You always look like your depressed, smile more like Gin!

[matoucs]

LOL i love the DBZ thing LOL

[MoonCannon]

Ichigo: I love Rukia(Yeah that's right, never gonna happen)...

Renji+Uryuu: We're in love with Ichigo!

Hitsugay: You know Hinamori, I feel you need to know my greatest secret: I am gay and I love Chado

Rukia: I want to marry iQing!

[silverwolf801]

Kon: I never really liked women

[Sandra]

Gin to Ulquiorra: you know, it doesnt kill ya to smile one's in a wile...

[anubis24354]

Tousin: I've figured out why Wonderwice acts so strange, it appears that he has had an inappropriate encounter with a high ranking officer in out little association.

Aizen: Gin, you know, this is one of those situations where that smile just seems inappropria..t...e......Gin.......

Gin: *creepy smile*

[silverwolf801]

hahahahahah that was so gay

[Renjirulez]

Ichigo:War sucks let's party!

Renji:Let's do the robot!!!

[ultimate]

Tousen: I know why Wonderwice acts the way he does... Aizen was drunk when Wonderwice was born

Gin: I was offered the part of the Joker in Batman

Aizen: My chair is too high, I have to climb a ladder to sit down in it every morning

Aizen: Yes, its true, I have the same hair stylist as Zaraki Kenpachi

[anubis24354]

Aizen: Grease was the best movie ever made.

[ultimate]

Yamamoto: No Hitsugaya! Don't send me to a retirement home! I can still fight!

Kira: Yes, its true... My hair covers my Sharingan!

Komamura: Damn! They're outta dog food!

Aizen: No my worst enemy is not Urahara or Ichigo... Its the evil creation known as Filler Episodes! They make me not appear!

[Omoide]

Kon : I'm actually gay and lust for hot male bodies.

Aizen, Gin, Tousen and all the espadas : Y M C A!!!

[Renjirulez]

Rukia: Does this dress make me look fat?

Ichigo:No,you look hawt!

Renji:Yes,it makes you look gigantic!You relly need to go on weight watchers.

[adulus]

Matsumoto:I'm going to go buy a bra.

[Edgey]

Ulquiorra: I'm going now to listen to Linkin park...

[Renjirulez]

Ichigo:Why is my hair always standing straight up?I don't even use hair gel.

Renji:Well at least you don't have tatoos on your eyebrows!

[anubis24354]

Wonderwice: There's an evil monkey in my closet.

[Toushiro20174]

Ichigo:Lets fight
Yamamoto:I know I'm gonna win. Go Pikachu use thunderbolt on Ichigo!
Ichigo:Nnooooooooooo not Pikachu

Toushiro Hitsugaya:Matsumoto marry me
Matsumoto:Ewww Y would I wanna marry an elementary student I'm in love with Kon

[Renjirulez]

Ichigo:At least I got to see Yoruichi naked!!!

[bktoboca]

renji: bankai!
chad: not again, (grunt)
ishida: you should remain in SS until you can step your game up, oyu release that too early
ichigo: ishidas' right, and the human souls still need to be protected so...
ichigo, chad, ishida: WE CHOOSE YOU!!!

[silverwolf801]

grimmjow: I no longer want to be the 6th espada i want to be........ a dancer

[mochimochil3]

Kon: I am gay...and I love BOYS...forget you nee-san, orihime-chan, and bigbooby Matsumoto!!!

[Seff vi Britannia]

Ichigo: I am straight.

[Edgey]

Tatsuki: Ichigo, I think I love you...

Ichigo: Shinigami Child Molester, AWAY!!!!
Nell: O.O

[Barbaroi]

Ichigo: Lets go pick up some girls Kon.

[theblack_dragon]

yamamoto: ichigo im really your father

[Barbaroi]

Ichigo, Rukia, Chad, Ishida, Renji, Inoue: With our powers combined, we summon, CAPTAIN PLANET!!!

[KonBankai]

Neliel: Ichigo, now that I have return to my original form, would you marry me?
Inoue: *Sōten Kisshun, I reject*
Ichigo: Nooo, why did you transform her back into a child?

Isshin: Don't you think that we should go rescue our children? They may be in big trouble.
Ryuuken: Nah, no need; I'm currently reading Bleach 371, and they are all coming back alive.
Urahara: 371??? That's only 75 weeks away! Geez, I hoped I would have more time in peace with Yoruichi.
(*Bankai!* heard in the background)
Kubo: Sorry guys, that's a fake spoiler. Hey Soifon, he was kidding; go back in SS.

[Barbaroi]

Inoue: How dare you try to steal Ichigo away from me Rukia!!

Ichigo: What? I'm in love with Kenpachi!!! (possible spoiler!!! :biggrinlo )

Rukia: Bankai!!!!

[KonBankai]

Chad: *Left Arm Of The Devil*
Ichigo: Hey, how do you come up with the names of your powers?
Chad: I ask Kubo.
Ichigo: Who's that?
Chad: ...

Starck: So, what is your plan exactly?
Aizen: Getting the ultimate power: I heard that there is a guy called Kubo who decides our fates. I plan to overthrow him and become God.
Starck: I see... And what is that royal key for?
Aizen: I have no idea; another of Kubo's stupid plot. But don't worry; soon, I will be in charge, and we will all get what we want.
Ulquiorra: Really? You will really give me a teddy bear?
Aizen: Sure, the pink one with the little flowers.
*** Few weeks later ***
Kon: What the ...?

[Kuroudo]

Aizen: Ichigo I AM your father.
Yachiru: lets do some work.
Hitsugaya: Its my day off,
Sajin Komamura: BARK BARK BARK BARK
Shirosaki: Do you want to have tea?
Chad: Ive been deported.
Orihime: Prepare to get pwned.
Ishida: Whats 2+2?
Tousen: i am the only black guy in the show, BOW DOWN BEFORE ME.
Urahara: Dont mess wit da hat.
Chojiro Sabisuke (The french lieutenant of old-man yammy.): Bonjour..Mousieour Kurosaki-kun
Ikkaku: Were can i find a wig?
Yumichika: I have a pimple.........oh well.
Hanatarou: Are you ready to get schooled you mother#$#@!!!!!!
Kenpachi: Lets drink tea.
Aizen: Why dont i just use kyokya suigetsu to make an illusion of a porno book? and sell it? ID MAKE MILLIONS!!!
Kon: Whats a (WOMENS GENITAL)
Urahara: I like to follow the rules.
Yourichi: Ive gone anoxreixc.
Shuhei Hisagi: This 69 ive banged 69 women in the 69 spot 69 times!!!

[Kenken]

byakuya: ichigo... welcome to my family

rukia: thank you so much for saving me, ichigo! *kiss*

[Gnave]

Yuzu: OMG lets eat a puppie!

[anubis24354]

Ganju: Ichigo! My water broke!

[just4funyeah]

Byakuya: Look at me! I´m showing emotions!

Ishida: White makes me look gay.

Mayuri: I DO like other other people.

Aizen: Damnit, Ulquiorra! At least try to look happy!

[Wren]

Kenpachi: God damn it! That papercut hurt *sucks finger*

[Kenken]

Ulquiorra: Inoue-chan hit me ;_____; *runs to his room to cry*

Yachiru: i hate candies

[Tai Dai]

Aizen: Ulquiorra stop cutting your wrist with your sword you little @#$%^%#.
Yamamoto: Can some body change me. I crapped myself again.
Orihime: I think Tatsuki is a lesbion.
Ichigo: I like seeing naked girls.

[Nowitzki]

Moving this to Bleach General Talk.. just cause it'd seem to fit better in this section. I'll go and spoiler any potential spoilers. :)

This thread has also been breeding too much spam. Any spam beyond this point will be deleted (I'm too lazy to go back and delete half the thread)

[JaguarX]

Ikkaku: You want to me to fight you? *whimpers* I can't do it, i'm too scared.

[Marquis de Sado]

Yumichika: *sob*I'm so ugly! It's unbearable! No! Don't look at me!*runs off for the nearest secluded corner to cry his heart out*

[Sushi]

Ichigo: Inoue, Your boobs make me happy

[Tai Dai]

Everyone-You little @#$%@#% and if you @#$ again I'll %#$3 mess you up @#$@%@!

[shiny808]

Kenpachi: Bankai

[glo6688]

rukia: rabbits are the most despicable creatures in the whole world, especially ones named chappy.

[Greggle]

Chad: Left Testicle of the Elephant

[Shaftronics]

Chad: I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.

[Undying]

Ichigo: I Need a Hero...!

[Cheryl]

Inoue: Rofl, I pwn j00.

[Neko Bam]

Tousen: I saw what you did just now
Hanatarou: If you do that again, I'll f*kkin' kill you

[Sushi]

Rukia: Sorry you guys, but I just really like Aizen. I'm gonna go join up with him and the sexy espadas.

[Undying]

Byakuya: THIS IS SPARTA!

Zaraki: It's a cookbook! A cookbook!

Byakuya: I eat babies!

[Jeggo]

Chad : Im so prettyyy!!! im so prettyyYY!!!! im so prettyyyY!!!! lalalala! *sings*

[Barbaroi]

Aizen: I wonder if Yamamoto will come over for a pajama party.

[Tai Dai]

Ichigo- Gosh, I wish I never bleached my hair.
Ulquiorra- Aizen is gay.
Renji- Why the &#^#& (%@%)@# did I tatoo my face.
Byakuya- I'm feeling slow today.

[inuichigo]

Kenpachi: Eeek! Its a bug!
Byakuya: You big idiot its a Hell Butterfly.

[anubis24354]

Aizen: It is time to introduce the Primera Espada, rise Darth Sidious.

[socrlax24]

Orihime: Oh my f-ing god, i f-ing HATE you Ichigo! I f-ing want to kill you!
Rangiku: Is this top too revealing?

[inuichigo]

Byakuya: Do you think I should hot pink hair clips Rukia-san? Or maybe a makeover by Kenpachi? I love what he does with his hair.

[Kuroudo]

Ishida: I got an F on my report card...
Ogichi: wanna have some tea?

[Pyramus]

1.
Shinigami doctor: Mayuri, do you even know why your face is unnormal colours?
Mayuri: Because of magical pixie dust?
SD: No, you have a tumor in your brain!
Mayuri: Is it a magical pixie tumor?
SD: No, your gonna die!
Mayuri: Oh man.......

2.
Zaraki: Yumichika, I'm gonna go ahead and prescribe you 2 testicles. You get that filled out whenever you want!

[Barbaroi]

Zaraki: I wonder what Jesus would do?

Hitsugaya: Where are my phone books, I can't see over the steeringwheel.

Unohana: Lay the ******* smack down on his ***** a$$!!!!

Yamamoto: I don't wanna stay at this old folks home! *sobs*

[inuichigo]

Kon: I'm going to work at the homeless shelter today.

[Allie_Oop]

Mayuri: Nemu, find me that prostitute from last night. And make it snappy.
Gin: No, really, I like small boobs.
Hollow Ichigo: (wearing frilly apron) No, thats ok. You go fight Aizen Ichigo. I need to keep an eye on my muffins so they don't burn.
Mayuri: Nemu, I have decided to persue a full time career as a stripper.

[Grey Wolf]

Aizen: Gin, I bet your ass looks good in a thong.

[inuichigo]

Ichigo: OMG! Look what I bought Rukia *giggles*.
Renji: If you were a girl it would look great on you... Ichi... gogo...

[Allie_Oop]

Komomura: And remember Ladies and Gentelmen, have your pet spay or neutered.


Yamamoto: For just five easy payments of $19.99 you can get your very own 'How to be a Shinigami' guide book. It can do miracles for even the worst fighter.
Kenpachi: (looking down, haltingly and emotionlessly) I was one of the worst fighters you would have ever encountered before I got Yamatoto's guide. Now just look at me. I'm one of the most blood thirsty of the Shinigami Captains. You can do it too with this easy to follow guide.(Looks up, evil grin)

[inuichigo]

Gin: I reveal my true feelings Aizen, *sniff* I only followed you because I love you.

[Toushiro20174]

Hitsugaya:Matsumoto I'm going to 5th division to have sex with Hinamori
Matsumoto:OK Taichou:redbiggri I'm gonna do ALL the paperwork 4 U

Tousen:I look sexy
Aizen:Nuh,I look much sexier than U fool
Gin:Mommy Aizen is being nice*cry*

Rukia:SASUKE!SASUKE!SASUKE!
Orihime:NO GARRA IS HOTTER!
Ichigo:What about me?
Rukia and Orihime:U R UGLY!!!!!

Ishida:I won the "Anime Nerd Contest" and I beat Yukito,Kyouya,Elliot,Max.......
Chad:OMG YOU'RE SO AWESOME CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAGH ISHIDA-KUN?

[inuichigo]

Ichigo: I think I'm going to stay home today and knit.
Kenpachi: OOHHH! I'll come with you. I need to finish the scarf I'm knitting.
Chad: I've already finished my shawl....
Ichigo: *squeals* What colors is it? Can I see it? OMG I'm so excited.
Ishida: You guys are so dorky.

[Aina1]

Gin: (smile with open eyes) i wuv u rangiku!

[inuichigo]

Kenpachi: CRAP! My bells don't go with my color scheme *pouts* I've already changed the bells 5 times.

[Toushiro20174]

Komamura:Meow
Retsu:How dare U touch my paperwork.BANKAI!DIE U FOOL!
Hanatarou:Hi!I'm Hanatarou Yamada captain of squad 1
Gin:Howdy yall
Aizen:I think the world would be much better without war
Matsumoto:I love U Kon*take of her shirt*
Orihime:Do whatever U want *strip in front of Kon*
Kon:EEEwwww get away from me*cover his eyes*

[Ghostless]

Orihime: "Is this shirt to tight?"
-----------------------------------------------
Renji: "Ever wondered..how'd it feel...to fight a Hollow...naked?
Ichigo:"..........Yes."
-----------------------------------------------
Tousen Kaname:"I SEE THE LIGHT!!!"
-----------------------------------------------
Yamamoto Genryuusai:".....SKINNY DIPPING HOUR!"
Captains: "YAAAY!"

[lordmage]

Byakuya: Bankai Oh no i broke a nail.

[Edgey]

Yamamoto: NAKED TIME!!! *dances*

Hitsugaya: *big cute eyes* Is it can be hug time now?

Orihime: *singing* I WANNA GET PSYCHO!

[Jinchuuriki_9]

Ichigo: I want to hug Kenpachi. (he'd die :0)

Orihime: Can I touch your skull , Ulqqy?

Ulquiorra: I want a hug!

[Neko Bam]

Tousen: Did you see that?

Ulquiorra (after fighting Ichigo): You went TOO FAR MAN! *sniffs* I'm going to my room to listen to Linkin' Park and post pictures of me cutting my wrists on Myspace.

Aizen: *walks into a pillar* OUCH *bumps into Grimmjow* OOF *walks into a chair* I'm sorry, didn't see you there.
*sigh* Maybe I shouldn't have broken my glasses when I left Soul Society.

[kiwigrl89]

Orihime to Ichigo: Heeeeeey, boo. *pop,locks and drops it*

[Dokuro]

Part 1-Episode 1

Orihime: I really really hate someone called Ichigo!
Rukia:Me too, because he stole my power!
Orihime:Lets kill Ichigo!!! Lets eat him!
Rukia:Lets make a strawberry jam!!

*Note: Ichigo means strawberry in Japanese.

[VIDTID]

Ichigo: Aizen im gonna pwnz you till you say ZOMG

[Dokuro]

Part 1-Episode 1
Ichigo:Hello, my name is Ichigo and Im 16 years old!
Rukia:'Ichigo is very delicious and its only 800 yen.
Orihime:Can I buy Ichigo? I want to slice it and I will cook an Ichigo Dango. (Strawberry Dango)
Aizen:Please make for the Espada and Arrancars Ichigo Dangos. They are really hungry now.
Rukia:But there is only one ichigo...
Ichigo:Uh Oh, I better run away..... *runs*
Aizen:Why he ran away?
Rukia:Maybe he wants to go to toilet..
To Be Continued..
*In this part, Rukia was a fruit seller and Ichigo was helping her.
Ichigo thought that Orihime wanted to slice and cook him.
Thats why he ran away*

[insaneshadow]

Any character:

"I know how to actually wield this sword!"

[girl]

i was just reading through that link given in the first thread and willl share the funniest ones:

Chad: Hollow world must be near Mexico, so I don't care where I go after death...

Shiba - Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light! Surrender now or prepare to fight!
Yoruichi - MEOW thats right!

Tousen: He went THAT way. *Points in some unknown direction*

Ishida : Itachi I Will Kill You!!!!!!!!!!! *Then the guy who those the voice turn around and look at the other*- sorry im always getting confuse between those 2 characters.

Ichigo: Hey, why are you so down Ishida? It's your birthday! Want me to order you a clown?
Ishida: *shudders* A clown hurt me once.
Mayuri: *out of nowhere* ...IT'S A FACEMASK... A FACEMASK YOU PEON!

okay theres like 9234928347 pages, so i give up...

[Hime-chan]

renji:rukia you're so fugly
rukia:renji you're so ...? dogish looking ?
orihime:im the cutest girl in the world,don't hate
ichigo:*looks at orihime* what a *****
ishida:daddy read me a bedtime story
chad:hi

[girl]

chad: omg nova guess what today i went shopping and found this mega cute necklace but i like didint have any money so i traded it in for my old piece of shit necklace!
nova: omg really? omg thats soo cool. today i like..woke up, sat, watched some tv, sat some more, talked to myself, hummed a little, sat some more, and then now im taslking to you!
chad: omg thats so cool what a fun day, i really missed our talks
nova: yeah really we did some realy deep soul searching when we were looking for those bounto
chad: omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg
nova: what?what? omgomgomg omg youre freaking me out!
chad: a spider!
nova: that's a problem. it's a big big prblem. proooooblem.
kuroud:STFU

[aniprincess13]

hehe...
Grimmjow:I am pretty, oh so pretty. I am pretty and giddy and....


ROFL:Haha

-Mayuri: nemu please bring me some tea?
Nemu: No! go get it youself you stupid scientist!!!

-Ichigo: kenpachi you coward!!!! Fight me!!
Kenpachi: We should never fight without reason...

-Ishida: Orihime's so HAWT!

[xiaomon]

im in*

[hunter1]

yeah it is a funny one

[hunter1]

Part 1-Episode 1

Orihime: I really really hate someone called Ichigo!
Rukia:Me too, because he stole my power!
Orihime:Lets kill Ichigo!!! Lets eat him!
Rukia:Lets make a strawberry jam!!

*Note: Ichigo means strawberry in Japanese.

The way you talk is just like you hate kurosaki ichigo,right?

[Hueso Loco]

3rd seat of the Fourth Squad : "Hanataro you're so strong."

[Neko Hime]

Rukia : *fart*

[Tsukuyomi]

Ichigo: *sings* I am a strawberry, and I like cake, come with me, a cake we'll bake. :Haha:musak::biggrinlo
Rukia: I'm sorry, Ichigo, Renji, I love captain Ichimaru...
Orihime: Screw you, Ichigo, I've got an emo prince now!!
Uryu: Ichigo, I thought this dress would suit you, I stitched it with love.
Chad: So, lyke, I totally had this b**ch goin', but then she walked away with two words. *bla bla bla bla bla*
Captains:
Yamamoto: I hate the french.
Soi fon: I'm sorry everyone. I baked you all muffins!! ^^ Hugs?
Ichimaru: Damn, Rangiku, hot tits!!
Unohana: Let's go KICK SOME @$$!!! (censored just cause)
Aizen: I'm sorry everybody. Can I come back now?
Byakuya: LOLOLOL flowers are so girly!!!
Komomura: That's okay, Aizen, I don't mind if you took Kaname away!
Kyoraku: Let's get to work!! Nanao! Get me some coffee!! I'll be doing overtime!!
Kaname: Screw justice!! Live free!!!
Hitsugaya: I'm going with Aizen, I hate you all, especially Momo.
Zaraki: Alright guys, Yachiru is your new captain, I'm retiring to be a flourist.
Kurotsuchi: No, don't touch these innocent people, it's not worth it!!*cries*
Ukitake: Hitsugaya, your actually my son. No more candy for you!
(I'd do vice captains, but that would extend this, so mabye later, if anyone wants...)

[Zangetsu-]

rukia:ichigo i..i...i...i love orihime
ichigo:WTF now what am i suppose to do

nel(in her adult form):Oh ichigo come here i have a gift for you
ichigo:OOOOOOO a gift. walks over to nel
bunch of weird nosies
ichigo: OH GOD OH GOD NEL YOUR SO TIGHT
nel:HARDER ICHIGO HARDER

[Kay™]

rukia saying she a betch
ichigo saying i wanna do your badly rukia

[Juniahh]

you'll never hear narutos name in bleach

[+KuSaKaBe+]

Kira's voice sounding like Napolean Dynamite.

[naruto195]

toshiro going out with rangiku

ichigo and hollow ichigo playing basketball