Importance of Appearance: "Who are you..."

[KaidaSorano]

People, it seems, are very interested in "who" other people on the internet are.

Specifically People are interested in the appearance of the person to which they're talking to...

I'm interested in Why people find this so important.

Is there any particular reason why?

Is it to discriminate against them. (To be clear I mean to use the image of the other person to make fun of, or isolate them.)

I've made this in the hopes we can actually discuss this in an intelligent manner, and not stoop to Flaming someone else or there ideas...

---------------
Now I'm aware that the general public has a ingrained fear of... well anything the media tells you to be afraid of, but for this thread I mean Sexual Predators [Pedophiles].
I will Start by saying I don't have an issue with wanting to know if the other person is a Predator of some sort. That is actually vary good information to have.

Also This is not to become a battleground for people argueing about, or speaking with great negativity towards anything like Pedophiles, Rapists, Homosexuals, etc.


(Sorry if this is not in the proper location, I was here when i thought about making this thread, and i couldn't think of any where else it should go...)

[DarkSlayer]

For some people, wanting to see what their online friends look like is simply curiousity. Wanting to finally put a face to the person they've been chatting with.

Knowing what the person behind the text looks like gives them a sense of reality. It gives the person that's curious a sense of security subconsciously knowing that the person they're talking to really is who they say they are.

Other people might actually be romantically interested in the person they're chatting with, and they might want to put a face to the person that they're falling for.

As human beings we are a very visual race. When talk to each other - especially in person - we tend to make facial expressions and hand gestures relative to what we're talking about to help get our point/feelings across.

Since society as a whole has jumped aboard the internet band wagon and everyone is getting to know everyone else via the internet, developers thought it would be nice for people to not only be able to chat with one another through text, but also to see each other through the internet as well.

Thus the webcam was invented to help online buddies to be able to chat with one another face to face.

If you think about it, it also improves the quality of the conversations as well. Being able to read what someone writes in text is one thing, but actually being able to see the individual and the expression on their face as their typing/saying it (if you have a headset) makes all the difference in the world.

The internet - bringing the people of the world closer, one invention at a time.

[diamondedge]

Interesting topic!

Now from my personal point of view, I have never found it important. Generally, I do not give a damn how the person on the other side looks like if they can talk and if I enjoy talking to them.

However, if (which is extremely rare) I do get a bit closer with someone than occasional "hi" online, I do get somewhat curious about the person behind the screen. I can safely claim there isn't a single person who has been closer with someone else online and NOT wondered what they looks like. Yes, simple human curiosity is obviously the main factor.

Actually I'm kind of surprised how easily people show their face online and that you usually don't have to go intro extremes when asking someone for his pic.

What I find disturbing is the reactions of people you refuse to show your picture to, because you instantly get labeled as someone fat and ugly with no life. Some people take it for granted as soon as you befriend them, and are terribly offended if you refuse. I find the fact that you need to know how someone looks online to keep them as your friend (and vice versa) very immature.

But in all honesty, will you know the person any better by seeing his face? Don't think so. In places like this, the way you'll know someone is reading his words and deciphering personality from it. As I have mentioned in some other threads, I don't believe in online relationships, so no matter how you look at it, how someone looks online shouldn't have any effect on anything.

Also, mostly because we are so far apart we will actually never meet, so just look at the letters and keep quiet is what I say.

It is my bad habit as well, to have first impressions based on the looks IRL, but what saddens me is that you instantly loose your points in someones book if your looks are not up to someone's expectations.

If I act like a pervert everyone will expect me to look like a porn star with slim waist and big boobs. If I act cool, everyone will expect me to look cool. I hate that, especially because internet is full of kids who don't even have their own opinion about others, nor do they understand how irrelevant the looks are.

May have wandered a bit off topic there, but hopefully I managed to get my point across. I don't mind people saying someone looks bad or anything, what I hate is how other people change their opinion about others if they don't look like as they expected them to.

For example, my sister stopped talking to someone online after he had shown her his picture, and she said he was a really enjoyable guy to talk to. I mean come on.

[Elocin]

For me, it's simply so I can put a face to a person. It's simply for curiosity reasons, and no more than that.

Also, if I am to meet that person IRL, I would like to know what they look like before I go off to meet them, so I'm not in shock or anything.

As for romantic interests, I'm especially curious, and I don't want to sound creepy, but I want to be able to look at the person's appearance and be all "oh, he's cute," or something like that.

But yeah, it's different in my case since I live in an area where there are at least 2 CBers that are in a 2 hour driving distance from me.

Of course, I'm not so shallow as to base all my opinions on people based on their looks, it's just curiosity for me.

[WerzMyBankai?]

To be honest it doesnt really matter to me. If I talk to somebody and have a good laugh I will almost never ask what they look like or personal questions. Then again I dont talk to alot of people online.

Still On *other* forums you do get Post you picture threads and I do participate in them, providing I feel I can trust the forum. In those situations its either to show off my good looks or just to see what others look like. Sometimes it can be really interesting to have your visual imaganiation/avatars clash with the real image of them. You dont really realise they are ordinary boring people, just like you.

*runs away barking madly*

[silverwolf801]

to tell the truth I'm a pretty cute person so I will only be looking for the best on par. If you don't have what I am looking for such as in features then there is no way that i can mess wih you. We might become friends but it can never go any further beyond that. I can admit that I am a very shallow person. Alot people like to say that they just want to know the person on the inside but alot people are lying when they say such things. They know that they wouldn't give an unattractive person a chance

[Graffik]

In a relationship I can't see how I'd choose someone without considering their looks, I just can't. I probably wouldn't approach a girl I found really unattractive, and that's just being honest to myself. I only know a handful of people who would be undiscriminate in this case.

Edit:

I'd be interested on what the people on the nets appearances are only out of curiosity. I'd Normally not care, and like Nicole, I like to put a face to a person.

Otherwise I don't care, I don't discriminate on the net, or in real life, making fun of people because of how they look is pretty stupid actually. And since I don't do online relationships, I don't try to find out how they look to choose someone.

What I find disturbing is the reactions of people you refuse to show your picture to, because you instantly get labeled as someone fat and ugly with no life.

I too find this very disturbing, but what can you say, losers are everywhere. Can't they realize you may have a real life and don't have the leisure time to pose for a camera? I don't trust people with my picture online, I've learned it can be a mistake from experience. So unless I've really been chatting with someone a long time, and 'know' what kind of people they are, I'm not risking my status by giving anybody a picture.

[Artemis]

The reason behind wanting to know the person's face is based on the factors of who the person that wants to know the other's face and the person that is currently being asked to show their face.

Like everyone else has said, the asker is usually asking due to curiosity. To 'know' better the person their talking to, especially if you're getting along well with the person and therefore wanting to increase the amount of contact between the people.

The person being asked could be the type that one does not feel they need to be asked for a picture. Someone that intrigues you more in the mental and social manner probably tends to lessen your need to know their face, due to you being intrigued on only those aspects.

In truth, it's a case by case basis, which is pretty much like how every topic or issue is like. But that's my sole assumption of the topic.

Yeaaah. <.<;

[KaidaSorano]

Also, if I am to meet that person IRL, I would like to know what they look like before I go off to meet them, so I'm not in shock or anything. Lol, I agree here. If you've come to know or trust a person well enough to meet them IRL, then wanting to know what they look like is completely understandable...
For example, my sister stopped talking to someone online after he had shown her his picture, and she said he was a really enjoyable guy to talk to. I mean come on.
What I find disturbing is the reactions of people you refuse to show your picture to, because you instantly get labeled as someone fat and ugly with no life.These are great examples/comments.

Until recently I've been, not really dishonest but just with-holding, about my gender... and that lead to my not wanting to share my photo because it went against my assumed gender. I've been dening CB and its members i speak to via messenger, my likeness... I made this topic because i wanted to know what the big deal was about seeing who i am. many times people asked or told me to post a picture or send them a picture, and i refused... unlike Diamanodedge's comment most just accepted my refusal, some pressed the issue.


But in all honesty, will you know the person any better by seeing his face? This too is something thast intriges me because i feel knowing what someone looks like leads to no understanding of the person.

[Ymir'sEmbrace]

I think a lot of wanting to know how a person looks like is as most of us have so far said, a matter of curiosity. There is a greater reason for this though that happens on a subconscious level.

People do in fact make judgements of others based on their first appearance, whether they realize it or not. It's a matter of human nature to judge and give rank of a person based on their look alone. That's why most people will try their best to look their best when meeting people for the first time, even on-line. I have some friends who use a picture of themselves from five years ago whenever people ask how they look. The irony is that they don't even resemble the person in that picture anymore.

It's not necessarily a bad or shallow thing we do by giving them a rank and file based on their appearance. The way our minds process vast amounts of information is to basically file things down into categories. We hope to "categorize" a person based on their look, their style.

[insaneshadow]

People, it seems, are very interested in "who" other people on the internet are.

Specifically People are interested in the appearance of the person to which they're talking to...

I'm interested in Why people find this so important.
So you dont feel like your a loser and talking to a fking computer

Is there any particular reason why?
poeple dont WANT to be close to some people. ppl are inherently racist or sexist or discriminatory. subconsciously.

of course ;)

Also This is not to become a battleground for people argueing about, or speaking with great negativity towards anything like Pedophiles, Rapists,
why not speak with negativity about these fkwits


btw its a good question and interesting reading all your replies


i just cbf going past the original notion of: "ppl are all inherently discriminatory of other ppl"

because its true and always will be

[McSlash]

I, personally, do not see the need to ask for a picture.

We have the habit of judging people by their looks. I've done it way too many times to count, and then it bites me on the ass.

I find it better to judge a person by their writing and personality than looks. I have seen pictures of my "friends" on other forums and they look like people I would initially steer clear of.

[Sarkel]

People,
Is it to discriminate against them. (To be clear I mean to use the image of the other person to make fun of, or isolate them.)

Now I'm aware that the general public has a ingrained fear of... well anything the media tells you to be afraid of, but for this thread I mean Sexual Predators [Pedophiles]

People, it seems, are very interested in "who" other people on the internet are.

Specifically People are interested in the appearance of the person to which they're talking to...

I'm interested in Why people find this so important.



I probably sent this to Kaida, but this also up for general discussion for anyone else

I agree with Kaida's points on the ingrained fear of revealing your appearance to a stranger to an extent. however , I disagree that people wish to see the face of the person they are writing to in order to discriminate against them. Instead, I believe in the concept of the need to make a physical/ visual connection.

by nature, humans are a visual animal. we rely heavily on sight to know how to react to our enviroment. merely writing to someone strips the visual connection between those involved, hence the desire to see images of the person one is talking to. we need to make a visual and sometimes emotional connection to the person we are interacting with.

personally , I hold no shame over my physical appearance and have no issue with showing images of myself if asked. however i see the point of those who do not show themselves as a defensive measure. But to that point i ask this, "if you hide yourself form those you talk to , how can they trust you (metaphorically)?" showing your true face is a sign of trust in the person you are talking to.

hopefully you understand my point of view, but feel free to rebutt anything I have said in an intelligent manner!

Ruben Tabuteau aka: 'Kama Torako'

[bludd]

This a great topic


I feel it doesn't matter in certain places, like here it doesn't matter, but it definitely matters in places like myspace. I also realize it's just human curiosity you want to know what people look like and it's interesting. i don't find it necessary on forums like this because there are so many different locations on here. It's funny to see someone that you talk to everyday on the internet, to see what they look like just causes trouble sometimes. Like most people on the internet pour their souls out and when you see a picture of them it may change your opinion, or give you some false right to be mean to them because of the way they look.

[♥ Ayalicious ♥]

I've shown my picture to those who matter to me, or those I've trusted and known for a considerable amount of time online. Or even to that special person I've known for only a month or two~ Depends now, doesn't it? But to most, they've known me as someone who vehemently refuses to display my picture -in any way- online. I've been bugged and asked why, and my answer, if they push on, is always the same: I've shown my picture to some, and I've received reactions to it that I dislike immensely. There have been a few cases where some folks gain a particular interest in cybering me upon seeing my picture, if not before. Some seem to believe that it makes me interested in them a whole lot more; it has only the opposite effect. I am sure that many people (particularly the female population) can relate to this, even if they've never shown their pictures online! Preposterous, isn't it, ladies~?

But yes, as (I believe) diamondedge mentioned earlier: I also detest the stigma of linking a person who refuses to show their picture~ to someone who's ugly/fat/has-no-life. Then again, the internet doesn't bar the shallow-minded from accessing it, doesn't it~? It's become an infamous label, and it'll never die away, so leave it be. You cannot change the human heart~ not to mention the opinions of the close-minded.

But I believe that many people wish to see a picture for the sake of reassurance that they are not talking to someone -fake-. This is particularly true for those who wish to delve into online relationships. There's some level of personal pride on the line that limits most from willing to wholly commit until they've seen some measure of -proof of existence- of their potential lover. However, I've seen many instances of people using the photographs of others rather than their own~ so how much does a picture guarantee truth? I laugh at the necessity of seeing a person's face to know if they're -for real-.

Personally, I am not particularly concerned about how a person looks like if they've interested me enough to want to talk to them. Many seem to wish to display their pictures anyway, but it makes no difference to me. I judge their characteristics; not their looks.

So what if they're a liar? I don't need truth from anyone, and if their lie's sweet and entertains me for a spell then I am all too inclined to listen.

Who am I~? Who are you~? We are only what we present to others, on the internet, and even offline.

[SolBeowulf19]

I think, more so than anything else, it's some sort of natural reaction to want to put a face to words. So, essentially, the posts on this forum that lack a picture or a face to for whoever is reading them, doesn't appeal to them. Essentially, we have gone for years and years, knowing, within a certain area of "correctness", what a person we were talking to looked like. If you wrote them a letter, talked over the phone (unless you like to call random people or anything like that), and even so far as to email....somewhat. However, when you get into forums and IMing....well, people just still want to see who it is that their talking to and to put a face to the words...just words seems a bit...impersonal I guess.