The Flow/Time your choice

[vidDa]

this is a song written now in 15 minutes. When written I only performed a gramm check and posted it here. It was inspired by Ai's Abandoned song, so some credits go to him.
hope you like it, any comments are welcomed.

The Flow/Time

how long has it been?
Time stretches away
away, away from my reach
above all reason
above all thought
above our lives
far into nothing
constantly going forward
reaching the end I cannot grasp
reaching the future I cannot comprehend
struggling with these chanis of time
trying to break, the unstopable
the rage of time
and his curse
his curse to never stop
like the river flowing into the sea
going with no goal or cause
watching men fall in love
watching war of men
watching men die and rot away

[Ai]

/me hogs all the credits and spends them on cheap hookers.

Just cause I can..^_^..

Trying changing the second last line to "Watching Men Go to War" instead in my opinion it makes the ending a lot better to read and doesn't break the flow you set up during the beginning of the piece.

I think you've done the subject matter great justice probably better then I did and that deserves add rep in my opinion. Thanks for showing me what I could have done with it ...^^

[vidDa]

wow, my first +rep! thx :D

and yeah I tought watching men fight in wars, or watching men go to war as you said it, really don't know why I didn't change it..

P.S. what's with those bands database? you gettin' lazy or? :D