Primal

[Sin]

If our bodies are prisons for our souls,
Is our skin and blood,
the iron bars of confinement?
Alas all flesh decays,
and death turns all to ash.
And so, death frees every soul.
It's in escapable,
because every shadow
no matter how deep
is threatened by the morning light.
Death isn't the road to awe,
Death is the way into nothingness.
Death is my greatest fear,
It's primal and I,
I want to live.
For i fear the coming
of that darkest night,
I fear that I won't see it chased off
by the following morning's sunrise.

[Ai]

A bit of work on your flow is all I can really see that you need to improve in this piece there are pieces where the flow is going well and then suddenly it stops..

Thats all I can think of...A nice piece otherwise and I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work.

[Sin]

Well some parts are meant to emphasize that the writer is truly afraid of death and not just writing about the fear of death. None the less i did a patch job

[Baby-Pie]

nicely put..i like how it ends..with the hanging question..good job hun

[Sin]

Thanks ma, i try