Path of blood

[SoundWave]

Why are you crying?
I just love how you're dying

Pick it all apart
piece by piece

So forlorn
I like you torn,
Thrashed to pieces

My week-day trophy
Take me home,
To the place
where crimson rivers flow from

Upon these soils
There is no place for me,
Mighty hearts could never fit

Path of blood
Take me home,
to the place
where I belong

[Joe Black]

i really enjoy how you make the speaker seem sane, and at the same time, so depressed and alone, even though he is a murderer.

and the flow is really suitable.

[SoundWave]

Thanks for the feedback mate, greatly appreciated. :)

[Sin]

I think you left out a few words... dunno if that was intentional or not. That being said, I love this line:
"Take me home,
To the place
where crimson rivers flow from"
- Genius man, genius... + rep just for that line alone.

[SoundWave]

Haha Thanks :)

Please do tell me where you think I missed some words.
I'd be happy to see another view on the piece. ^^

Thanks again

[Sin]

Typo. the only place where i thought is the very first line of the poem. "why are crying?" that's really it. The rest is good.

[SoundWave]

Oh shi-... totally missed that, hehe..

Indeed it's supposed to be a "you" there.

fixt it
:D