how to mend emotions

[zen]

Drums banging
The chorus is playing
Everybody swaying
Hearts full of energy
The soul needing more than me
Mending emotions is tough business
But all I need is a little silliness
Dance and jam
Get lost in the rhythm
Drunk on fun curing my symptoms
Of loneliness
I’m through with these people's phoniness.
(and yes yes ai I know work on my "flow" XD)

[vidDa]

definetly work on the flow.
in the first 3 lines you set up a stage for a faster, easier peom with rymes, and then BAM, WTF? the flow is gone...
Maybe this is because I am curently listening to rap, I don't know...
and yeah, I agree with you on the subject, we all need a little more silliness, and less thinking. :D