Where I Found Myself

[Joe Black]

Honest CnC plz. I have many more poems to write yet.

Where I Found Myself

I find myself
Naked
Without comfort
Alone

Sitting upright on my bed
Looking at an empty night
And an empty expression
From the window, a faint relfection

I stare into my own eyes
Blank, without love or hate
Merely acceptance
That he is awake

I look away from myself in shame
Wondering how he got that way
To be worried about his life
Having fallen astray

I cover myself up with linen sheets
Rest my head on a pillow
Yet I find myself still naked
Without comfort
Alone

EDIT: thank you Chi

[Chi]

It is good but get rid of the waist height its a hinderance and prevents proper flow

[SoundWave]

Okay I'mma try and butcher it as best as I can.. Don't hate me :)

First off punctuation might help the reader in this piece. If not at least in the first stanza.

Ex. I find myself [pause/continuation] (a simple "," comma helps a lot to get a grasp for the flow)

Naked [Stop/pause/continuation] (a simple "stop" "." here can be helpful for the flow or just another comma)

Without comfort [Stop/pause/continuation] (same here)

Alone [Stop] (and lastly to follow up the previous punctuation and avoid confusion a "stop" "." to mark a new part.)

on to the next..
Sitting upright on my bed
Looking at an empty night
And an empty expression
From the window, a faint relfection

First two lines I've got no problem with at all, they could definately work. THOUGH.. The flow at the end is a bit wonky and the words appear almost a bit scrambled.

Sitting upright on my bed
Looking at an empty night
With an empty expression
In a faint reflection(;)) from the window
See what I did thar? :)
How does that sound for you, does it look okay? ^^
(I'm just asking because it's your piece and I don't wanna wreck any possible undertone or hidden meaning.)

The rest just rolls of my tongue in bittersweet harmony.. I can relate a lot with what you're trying to convey here, It's tough to know what to do with your life :)

It adresses one of the fundamental thoughts about us humans in a simple way with concrete words. Though less "picturesque", still enjoyable.

Very nice Joey! :D