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Ai
05-31-2008, 08:30 AM
Struggle

A struggle for life,
Pain brings more until no more.
Bleeding continues,

Life continues on and on,
Each strives for a better way.

All comments and critiques really appreciated and taken into consideration. Hope that you like it.
Chi
05-31-2008, 10:40 AM
It's pretty good... i like it, had to read it more then once to get the true hang of it thogh.
Ai
06-01-2008, 05:45 PM
Thankz for your comment, I didn't want to make a piece that was outwardly evident of what I was trying to get across..I'd rather make people read it a few times before they get it...:p
crazeeidiot
07-01-2008, 10:03 PM
not really
being a poet has it's quirks
I don't have to re-read things to figure out the meaning
I liked it, by the way
zen
07-02-2008, 06:12 PM
It was great, glad to see you make another poem after so long.
Mendelson Shape
07-02-2008, 09:45 PM
a contrasting two stanzas each with a different perception of life? two sides of the story is what i got. nice and short, good poem.