Déesse Trompeur

[Decado]

[Deceptive Goddess]

10,000th post. Rawr.

~

No fear but fear to fail,
At this I did succeed,
Realisation’s vicious flay,
Ran swift to faith impede

Admiration has furtive flaw,
Of which few good are wise,
In placing hope in one’s good hearts,
We shepherd our demise

Placed her on a mantle,
Sincere or so she claimed,
Now she who stole my love’s good faith,
Has left my faith ashamed

My faith in others justified,
Who seek solely to serve themselves,
Their worth lies best in drink and lust,
Love spared for little else

Strong-held ties through few true friends,
Truer love in every way,
All others glimpse our hearts desire,
And swiftly they betray.

~

[Do'Urden]

Wow. Thats one of the best pieces I've read of late. Kudos.

[Yamamoto]

High vocab as expectent from Dec..xD

Good poem, only criticism really is the flow i felt did not flow so naturally in the middle, moreso-

Held high, in highest of esteems she was,
Reticent frustration, yet distant nature blamed,

although that's just me personally ^^;

also, did you really wait for you 10,000th to post that or was that just coincidence? o.O

[vidDa]

Wow, this is one of the greatest pieces I've ever expirienced.
You disrupted the flow in the middle but it's ok.
I think +rep's are in order. ^^

[Decado]

Fixed the flaw.. probably.

I did see that it did not flow, but I ran out of time, and the poor poet that I am, I didn't change it without changing the meaning of those lines, which I felt was core to the piece that I wanted to get across, so I left it as it was.

also, did you really wait for you 10,000th to post that or was that just coincidence? o.O
How many of my poems do you see me post? :winking56


Thankyou to all 3 for your comments =)

[Yamamoto]

Lol I know, I was just questioning when you actually written this :p

[saneel]

SIKK!!!! i love it ....seriously anyone dat doesnt read this guys beautiful material (short storis, novel as well) hasn't truli been touched emotionally ..well tc man u kno ur the best..and alwaiz will be!!! =] cant wait for u next post!!!

[SoundWave]

Definitely inspiring..

Good job

[Chi]

Wow, didn't know you had it in you ^^ jk

Good piece, very well thought out. I like it

[Decado]

Cheers guys

@kensei: Ah. It was taking me a while so I had to delete some posts..

[Icestorm]

Well done Dec, I know its not usually your thing to do poetry but you pulled it off really well. I loved the story of the poem and although in the middle the flow was off a tiny bit, it was defiently balanced by the great style in which it was written. Top notch work Dec, you should write more :D

[Ren]

\o/ on the 10k post! (im 153 posts late, gomen ^^; )

Just wanna leave u a very short comment k? :3 You know im not good with poems and such, so i really appreciate that u helped me to understand it better. What you've written is very beautiful, and very meaningful as well ^^

*Renny gives u a huggle* X)
If u write more poems in the future, do share it with us. Well done, D :glomp