Tik, tak...

[vidDa]

This is the first one I wrote in a while. The greatest doubt was to use tick, tack or tik, tak. I'll change if u correct me ofc.
CnC are allways welcome ;)

Tik, tak, tik, tak,
the clock delays.
Tik, tak, tik, tak,
we wait in comfort.

The clock ticks,
and taks...
Watching his surroundings,
decaying...vanishing.

All is forgotten,
all is lost,
but the sad clock
still tiks and taks,
tiks and taks.

That is his purpose,
that is his goal.
To go into eternity,
tik by tak, tik by tak.



Hope you enjoy.


_______________________________________________________________

[Chi]

This is the first one I wrote in a while. The greatest doubt was to use tick, tack or tik, tak. I'll change if u correct me ofc.
CnC are allways welcome ;)

Tik, tak, tik, tak,
the clock delays.
Tik, tak, tik, tak,
we wait in comfort.

The clock ticks,
and tacks...
Watching his surroundings,
decaying...vanishing.

All is forgotten,
all is lost,
but the sad clock
still ticks and taks,
tiks and taks.

That is his purpose,
that is his goal.
To go into eternity,
tik by tak, tik by tak.



Hope you enjoy.


_______________________________________________________________
well.... i think there's too many tics and tacks, just makes reading it and following it hard because you want to sorta give up on it. Because you know what's going to be said next. Despite me knowing what your aiming for i just feel you could do more with this or maybe less to get the message across better. I also corrected the misspelled word and marked it in red.

[vidDa]

I figured that there are lots of tiks and taks but when I was writing it it just went with the beat of some Cypress Hill song I was listening too. ^^
Just like in the POTW entry. I am kinda rusty and have to stop listening to rap while writing. ^^

I edited the misspelled word, thx.