View Full Version : 20 things you don't want to hear during surgery
i found this on lol.com
Top 20 Things You Don’t Want To Hear During Surgery
1. Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
2. “Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness”
3. Hand me that…uh…that uh…thingie.
4. Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
5. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
6. There go the lights again…
7. “Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys…and this guy’s got two of ‘em.”
8. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
9. Could you stop that thing from beating, it’s throwing my concentration off.
10. Sterile, schmerile. The floor’s clean, right?
11. What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change?
12. This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
13. Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
14. What do you mean “You want a divorce!”
15. Fire! Fire! Everyone get out.
16. Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing.
17. Oh, look everyone. It’s lunch time.
18. The foot bone’s connected to the, leg bone…
19. That’s cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
20. Hey, if you pull on this it makes a funny noise.
SoundWave
08-20-2008, 10:56 PM
How about "I think I hit a nerve".. lolol..
I'm sorry >.>"
nice ones nonetheless. :)
Neko Rae
08-20-2008, 11:02 PM
Most of those didn't seem that funny to me :/
mishaxelle
08-20-2008, 11:08 PM
First of all, I'd be so scared if I needed surgery D:
And the worst one would probably be numero 15.
Number 17 reminds me of an episode in Heroes though. When Claire is getting some kind of surgery and she wakes up and no one is there and she sees her body open and is like "HOLY SH-" The surgeons left for lunch I think.
Harley Quinn
08-21-2008, 08:25 PM
Um I wouldn't want to hear anything in surgery at all, I'd be hoping they put me under properly.
Freya
08-21-2008, 08:43 PM
Well I think that they started off funny and then kind of were "reaching" for funny.
I agree with Harley though, I wouldn't want to hear anything during surgery. lulz
Number 20, cause it happened to me when I was taking my appendix out.
He made that squish sound when he cut off the pus filled area of my appendix.
F*cking nasty
Freya
08-21-2008, 09:16 PM
Why were you awake during it?? :eek13:
I had my tonsils out a long time ago but I was not awake during any of it thank God!
It would suck to hear ANYTHING during surgery, but funny stuff, nonetheless.
Hiraishin
08-21-2008, 09:51 PM
Some people prefer to be awake during it though. ;o; They just get numbed up.
Any of the losing ones would make me worry, I don't want a rolex in me!
Why were you awake during it?? :eek13:
I had my tonsils out a long time ago but I was not awake during any of it thank God!
it is a long know medical blooper that always happens, it is called anesthetic awakening or something, when the drug fails, at a wrong dose, which is probably the case with most under qualified practitioners, you get to be awake, and hear them squish your innards all over, only you can't quite feel the part they are squishing at, except you can hear EVERYTHING.
Enjoy your silence.
- Depeche Mode.
Um I wouldn't want to hear anything in surgery at all, I'd be hoping they put me under properly.
lol Yeah if you hear some thing wile in sergery, some thing already going wrong.
Um I wouldn't want to hear anything in surgery at all, I'd be hoping they put me under properly.Seriously. I've been freaked out over the idea of incomplete anesthesia ever since watching that Larry King special about patients waking up during surgery.
Night Prowler
08-22-2008, 01:50 AM
What about.
"I just came!"
mishaxelle
08-22-2008, 02:03 AM
^ Oh that would be WONDERFUL to hear. Lol.
smach
08-22-2008, 02:47 AM
"He just came!"
Seriously. I've been freaked out over the idea of incomplete anesthesia ever since watching that Larry King special about patients waking up during surgery.
That episode scared the shit out of me, worst still are guys who can feel them touching the insides.
ewwww
Also,
I imagine if surgeons look and ask
"Oh shit, I think I forgot how to do this..."
VIDTID
08-22-2008, 06:54 PM
11. What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change?
Lolz at that one :D
Saithe
08-27-2008, 10:58 AM
"[singing while operating on Homer] The hip bone's connected to the... something. The something's connected to the... red thing. The red thing's connected to my... wrist watch... Uh-oh!" - Dr. Nick
raisins
08-27-2008, 11:27 AM
lolx, yeah, if i were in for a surgery i wouldn't want to be awake >_>
8. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
this one had me lol too...
zonda
08-27-2008, 03:55 PM
this is after the surgery, and the guy who was just operated on is screaming in pain:
"all that fuss over having his appendix out!"
"it's not that, it's what came off when the surgeon's hand slipped!"
Hime-chan
08-28-2008, 07:16 PM
Um I wouldn't want to hear anything in surgery at all, I'd be hoping they put me under properly.
lol same here XDD I hope I'll never need to go under the knife
Aki-Agi
08-31-2008, 04:40 AM
All this just gives me flashbacks of watching Awake
probably the worst case scenario right there
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