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Wingman
08-28-2008, 02:07 AM
This is my first story. And a work in progress.

But I wanted some feedback.

It was the perfect moment.

He was sitting on a hill, a soft breeze blowing through his hair. A sweet scent teased his senses, and a few leaves flew around him, flowing with the wind. He gazed to the sky in front of him. It had erupted into an explosion of color. The brilliant flow of the clouds gave the whole scene a perfect depth, and the vibrant colors cast a glow onto his smiling face. The center was a deep yellow, exploding outward in greens and reds and blues, with a small overlay of purple on the front most clouds. The trees were silhouetted black against it, creating even more depth and making this an almost picture perfect moment. And right in the center, breaking through the clouds, was a deeply orange sun, just above the tree tops.
To make things even better, in the opposite direction, a full moon had risen in a deep blue sky.This was an awe inspiring sunset. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. The only thing that was missing was…
Her.

His name was Richard Williams. But everyone called him Scott. Now she.....she was the girl that he loved. The girl that he lost. The girl that he cried over. As he though about her, his smiling, glowing face slowly turned to an expression of deepened sadness. A single tear rolled down his cheek.
Her name was Ashley. Ashley Wilson. And to really understand how Scott is feeling, you’ll have to go back a while. Back about a year actually. To the beginning of his Junior year…

Light. Sudden light. Why was it so light...?
An annoyingly loud screech repeated itself. Again. And again. Was it getting louder? Then he realized. “Ah” Scott thought, “Morning...”. He rolled out of bed and hit the off button on his alarm, stopping the continuous noise that he dreaded each morning. First day of school. Lovely. Even better that it was the first day of his Junior. He just couldnt suppress his excitement for AP classes and the SAT. Right.
Looking like he just woke from the dead, Scott dragged himself down the stairs and into the shower, where he stood for a good twenty minutes, trying to get rid of his everlasting exhaustion. Typical morning routine. God, how he hated it.
Oh well. He’d live. This year he would be First chair of his Jazz Band. Yes, it was HIS band now. Finally. Band nerd or not, he loved the music. It was his life. He’d also be the Drum Major this year, and on Varsity Swim and Soccer. It was going to be a good year. In some aspects, anyway.
He stepped into the very unwelcoming cold outside of the shower door, and grabbed a towel to dry off. After getting dressed, he grabbed an apple and drank some tea, before brushing his teeth. He grabbed his backpack and his Trumpet, and headed out into the brilliantly fresh air. The sky was a nice shade of blue, and there were just a few small clouds off in the distance. “Nice day” he thought with a smile.
He started the engine to his old silver ‘99 sedan. Hey, it wasnt too pretty, but it ran well and had good mileage. Worked for him. As he passed neighbors just waking up, and bikers down the path near his house, he put on some soft Jazz. But, on that short drive to the school, the only thing on his mind was her.

Scott had known Ashley almost all of his life. The first time he saw her, she took his breath away. He decided then that he would do everything in his power to be with her. But then again, that was in third grade. So the definition of “being with her” was a little more vague then it was now.
He became good friends with her, over the years, and watched her go through a few boyfriends. All of whom hurt her in the end. And his was the shoulder she cried on. He didnt mind. All he wanted was for her to be happy. But inside, he knew that he would be the one who would make her happy the most. She just had never done anything to make him think she thought him of as more than just a friend. I mean sure, they flirted. But flirting is just flirting. It was all in good fun. Nothing serious was meant by it. On her end, anyway.
He never told her how he felt. Because he didnt want to ruin their friendship. She meant more to him than anyone in the world. And even if it mean he couldnt be with her, he just wanted her to be happy. And he would give his life to make that happen.
Scott sighed as he thought about all of this, pulling into the parking lot of his school, and waving to a few friends as he drove by. “Maye this year will be different...” he thought, turning off the engine and stepping out into the bright sunlight. Yeah. Right. Scott had known Ashley almost all of his life. The first time he saw her, she took his breath away. He decided then that he would do everything in his power to be with her. But then again, that was in third grade. So the definition of “being with her” was a little more vague then it was now.
He became good friends with her, over the years, and watched her go through a few boyfriends. All of whom hurt her in the end. And his was the shoulder she cried on. He didnt mind. All he wanted was for her to be happy. But inside, he knew that he would be the one who would make her happy the most. She just had never done anything to make him think she thought him of as more than just a friend. I mean sure, they flirted. But flirting is just flirting. It was all in good fun. Nothing serious was meant by it. On her end, anyway.
He never told her how he felt. Because he didnt want to ruin their friendship. She meant more to him than anyone in the world. And even if it mean he couldnt be with her, he just wanted her to be happy. And he would give his life to make that happen.
Scott sighed as he thought about all of this, pulling into the parking lot of his school, and waving to a few friends as he drove by. “Maye this year will be different...” he thought, turning off the engine and stepping out into the bright sunlight. Yeah. Right.

As he walked into the building, he pushed back all of those thoughts and feelings. Hell, it was the first day of school. Whats the point of moping around? He was immediately greeted by his friends. A few hugs, a few high fives, and one chest bump later, he was off to the music wing. No Jazz today, but he figured he’d check it out, see if anything changed. Which, he soon found out, nothing had. Good old predictable Mr. Furness. “Scott!” someone shouted from behind. He knew who that was. “Ryan!” he shouted as he turned around, giving him a man hug. Ryan was Scott’s best friend. They went way back. “Whats up man?” Ryan asked. “Ohh, you know. The usual. Sleep deprived, hungry, and already ready for summer.” Scott said, laughing. “What about you?” he asked. “Ohh, just about the same” Ryan replied.
They both walked out of the music wing, talking about their summer and just catching up. When, all of the sudden, everything was dark. “Guess who?” a sweet voice asked, with a hint of laughter. “Hmm...” Scott said, mock-puzzled. He quickly turned around and picked up Ashley by the waist, who had her hands over his eyes. As he spun her around, she laughed and yelled to be put down. Of course Scott didnt do that. After about a minute, he put her down. They both gave eachother a huge hug, and as he was pulling away, all those thoughts and emotions came rushing back into his head. “This is going to be a though year....” he thought.

“Oh my gosh, you’ve changed so much this summer“” she said to him with a smile. Which was true. He had. He had grown a couple inches, and cut his hair shorter than his usual long, skater-ish hair. Much easier for soccer. He had also tanned over the summer, and just got braces. Ugh. Braces. That was going to **** up his playing.
Ashley has changed a bit too. She had also grown, and grown out her lovely, golden brown hair. “Scott, stop drooling” Ryan whispered in his ear. He elbowed him in the gut. “Well you’ve just become more gorgeous than before. I didnt think it was possible” Scott said to Ashley, with a smile. “Ohh, stop it” she said, smiling back, and playfully hitting him. They walked back to the commons area, and just then the bell rang. So as they parted ways, Scott and Ashley hugged one last time, and walked to their separate classes. Scott turned around to get one last look at her, and to his surprise, Ashley was looking back too. She blushed and turned back around really quickly.
“What just happened....?” Scott asked himself.

As soon as school started, it seemed it was over. That may have been due to the fact that Scott had been thinking about Ashley all day. He was confused. He caught her staring at him multiple times during their only class together, English. Each time, she blushed, and turned away quickly. Truthfully, so did he.
Scott decided to take a walk that day. The sky was blue and the air was fresh. Almost perfect temperature, too. He didnt know what all this meant. But he was afraid. Afraid of opening old wounds, of reliving all of the emotions he once felt. But he couldnt help but wonder. It was the one thing in the world he didnt want, but he couldnt help it. “What if...?” he thought to himself. The time old question. What if? A question that never brought happiness with it. But, what if? What if her feelings had changed? What if she really did want him? What if, this year, he really could be happy? What if…
There were too many what ifs. It made his head hurt.
When he got back home, he decided to call her.

“Hello?” Ashley asked, on the other line. “Hey Ash! Its Scott” Scott replied. “Scotty!!!!” Ashley squealed into the phone. “How are you?” Scott asked, smiling. “Im great, now that im talking to you” she said, “How are you?” “Ohh, im about the same” Scott replied with a laugh. They talked for a few minutes, and more and more “What ifs” were popping into his head. He sighed. That wasnt good. “Scott?” he heard from down the hall. Great. It must have been dinner. “Hey, im sorry Ash, but I have to go.” He said. “Aw, okay. Ill miss you!” she said.“Ill miss you too. See you tomorrow” he said with a smile. “I cant wait.” she said. And hung up. Uh-Oh.

Scott sat there for a while, his head in his hands. What was he going to do? Follow another false hope? Or was it real this time? All those emotions flooded back into him. All the pain, the sadness, the tears, it all came back to him. But, with that, hope came too. A hope for happiness.
This was exactly what he didnt want to happen. But it was happening. And he couldnt stop it. He sighed again, stood up, and walked down the hall to dinner. And all he was thinking about was the next day at school. About seeing her.

The next day at school, Scott was very anxious. “Good morning Scott!” Ashley said, giving him a big hug, “You look really good today”. Sigh. “Aww, thanks Ash. You look good every day, but today your practically glowing” Scott said with a smile. They continued to talk for a while, and Scott realized it was just as he feared. She was flirting. But, not the playful flirting that they usually did. This was different. This was real. Now, why was he afraid? Honestly, it was a question he was asking himself. The main reasoning was that he didnt want to get hurt again. He was cautions. He had been down this road before. Ad he didnt like what was at the end of it. But maybe....maybe this time it would be different. Maybe, this time, it too could be real…
As they hugged goodbye, Ashley squeezed Scott extra tight, as if never wanting to let go. Scott squeezed back. As the each pulled away, he looked into her eyes. He beautiful, Hazel eyes. That mixture of brown and green and blue, with hints of red. It was breathtaking. But what really made him weak in the knees, what really made took his breath away, was that they were sincere. She was staring back into his, and the gaze seemed to last a lifetime. He was happy. The happiest he’d bee in a long time. “Ashley, I-” Jake began, but the bell cut him off. “Shit!” Ashley said aloud. And with another quick hug, she was down the hall, sprinting for the class she was about to be late for. Scott didnt sprint off, though. It didnt matter. He just floated to his class, and couldnt believe what was happening.

Beep. Beep. Beep. His alarm went off. He sighed. Another day.
After the usual morning routine, he got in the car and headed for school. He didnt see Ashley that morning, but he did see her in English. She waved and smiled at him when he walked in, and kept looking back all period. He didnt see her after class though. Odd. But, after school, he caught her in the halls. They hugged, and he asked her to go sit down. So, they went out into the hallway, onto the window ledge. Scott asked her how she was, and how her day went, and Ashley proceeded to tell him about her day. it was nice. Even talking was just....nice. They got off on some random subject, and talked and talked, loosing their sense of time. Before they knew it, the halls were empty. It was just them. Sitting. Alone.
Ashley grabbed Scott’s hand, interlacing their fingers. And she just smiled. Smiled at him. “Ashley....” Scott began, looking into her eyes, “Ashley, I have always liked you. More than you know. Your beautiful, and have an amazing person, and your just someone I could see myself spending all my time with.” He said, as she looked into her eyes. This was it. His heart was beating fast. “Ashley.....Will you go out with me?” he asked. She looked at him for a minute. The said, “No.” Just as simple as that. No....No? Why no? His heart began to break. Ans she began to laugh. A cruel laugh. Laughing at him.

Her laughter became louder and louder, pounding into his ears. It filled his ears, he couldnt take it anymore. He yelled.
And woke in a cold sweat. Beep. Beep. Beep. His alarm was blaring in his room. Was that a dream? He sat, puzzled, and realizing it was, started to think. Was that what was going to happen? Were his dreams somehow...telling his future? “No, thats just stupid” he thought to himself, going downstairs.
After the usual morning routine, he got in the car and headed for school. He didnt see Ashley that morning, but he did see her in English. She waved and smiled at him when he walked in, and kept looking back all period. He didnt see her after class though. Odd.“Just like my dream...” he thought to himself. But he quickly pushed that thought away. After school, he caught her in the halls. They hugged, and she asked him to go sit down. So, they went out into the hallway, onto the window ledge. Scott asked her how she was, and how her day went, and Ashley proceeded to tell him about her day. it was nice. Even talking was just....nice. But he had a sinking feeling of deja vu. They talked and talked, loosing their sense of time. Before they knew it, the halls were empty. It was just them. Sitting. Alone.
Ashley grabbed Scott’s hand, interlacing their fingers. And she just smiled. Smiled at him. “Ashley....” Scott began, looking into her eyes. He already knew what he was going to say. “Ashley, I have always liked you. More than you know. Your beautiful, and have an amazing person, and your just someone I could see myself spending all my time with.” He said, as she looked into her eyes. This was it. His heart was beating fast. “Ashley.....Will you go out with me?” he asked. But he already knew the answer. He was already anticipating it. She looked at him for a minute. The said, “Yes” Just as simple as that. Yes....Yes? He was astonished. And then, as it kicked in, he realized what this meant. He was ecstatic. And Ashley saw all of this in his eyes. She put her other arm around him, and drew her face close to his. This was the moment Scott had been waiting for as long as he could remember. He drew in close too, and pulled her chin lightly to his. And then, softly kissed her.
He was finally happy.

Lex
08-28-2008, 07:39 AM
Not bad, a couple of mistakes here and there...cute story.
I don't know where in the world you are but I spell color-colour
As he though about her I think you missed a t there

Kefka
08-28-2008, 12:29 PM
^ America Lex, we like to warp the English language to our own personal odds and ends. :P

Not a bad story, saw the same mistakes as Lex, though I did only skim over it (I'm in class), I'll give it a more in depth look later tonight.

Wingman
08-28-2008, 08:29 PM
Yeah, I usually write at night, so I figure theres a couple mistakes I didnt catch.
And yeah, in America, we spell it Color.

Thanks though!

Lex
08-29-2008, 07:45 AM
LOL! I thought you might have been in america...wasn't sure, just had to find out :D