Relationship Thread [Archive] - Page 6

crazy_shinigami v3

10-11-2005, 12:50 PM

hmm, thats hard to tell. but wats more important right now is ur own future
u has saved her from drugs n all so now i wonder how's she in life?

well, this is my story
i liked a girl in my class but it seems like she's not
she sits behind my seat in class
i've never seen her smile when im talking to her
she's just like......hate me
she's just acting cold to me
she's beautiful anyhow
now i know why she's cold to me
i used my informer to borrow her phone for a while n checked her sms
"omg!is this real?" i said to my self
she's datin an asshole older than us
he have many bad records too
he doesnt look much better than me n a little bit badder
he is also kinda an idiot n badass
why does she likes him anyway
she is smart but cant she even think about her future?
that guy seems not good enough for her
n i admit by myself that im not good enough for her too
but im thinkin about her future
her exam marks became lower than she could
im worried about her
i donno if this is love or not but i still like her
maybe i do look like a loser but i can change

so i wanna hear everyone's comment about this

strydr

10-11-2005, 05:22 PM

well,Crazy, this girl seems like she kinda needs the protection of a older guy, i know a lot of girls who do that, just because it is the way they think. I was also worried about the girl i liked, cause she used to mess around because she didnt care much, i was also worried, but the way i dealt with it, is i kinda asked her straight how she saw herself 5 years from then, and she couldnt exactly answer, ask her that it might make her think for once. Borrowing her phone and looking at her sms's that just aint right - does she know though??

She seems to be one of those who are fools of love (like me!), they are so much in love that they blinded and wont be able to see any fault in the relationship. well the girl may not like you cause you seem to be over her (like a person who is too interested in someone else) - what i suggest you do is kinda talk the truth and give her a piece of your mind - tell her what you think, maybe let her see the truth and ask her an awkward question like why she is dating an older guy than us, she might say it and then you could give her your reason. Another thing is does she know you like her??? cause if you come out straight she might feel something for you, always be happy around her, it may give her a good feeling like putting her into a good mood. be cool about it, maybe start friendly conversation. Recently i have been more friendly with everyone in my school and i have much more new friends, maybe start be asking her about her common interest and maybe her favourite colour, usually you can tell what type of person you are by your favourite colour, and never lie about it, it will always come back and hit you hard in the face, maybe even ask why it is her favourite colour, ask her what her favourite music is, try to find common ground you two have, so you can always laugh about it.
One thing a girl likes is comedy and humour, and when she sees you she will always be happy. Also see what comedy she enjoys - some people dont find some jokes funny.
another thing Crazy is, if you say that you not worth her, then you are not worth anything to yourself, you are worth it! guy - i am your fan!
Hope i helped a little, post if you dont understand anything i said.

crazy_shinigami v3

10-11-2005, 05:34 PM

thanx stryder!
i donno i have a fan in this forum.i though eveyone r just dont like me

well, i always take the same route as her when we went home from scool
we both wear glasses
n wats funnier r my friends spreading rumors that i like her. that makes me kinda blushy
well, i donno if i supposed to be with her or not,
only time will tell me.........

strydr

10-11-2005, 08:28 PM

so, Crazy, do you speak to her much??? - also does she know that you like her besides that there is a rumour going around, maybe you should face her with courage and tell her that its true, she might like all the courage, or just bring it up after you made a joke. i dunno... time will tell you, but dont wait too long, you might get stuck with the feelings, like me.

i just spoke to Ra - she then wanted to speak to my sister, then my sister asked if she wanted to speak to me, she said no. so what the hell, i call her - she kinda put down, what is up with that, what is she trying to say??? hell! i think i am at fault i kinda didnt speak to her for a month! what was i thinkin! i just ignored her...
what do you think she is trying???

strydr

10-12-2005, 06:06 AM

sinkinswimmer

10-12-2005, 08:31 AM

Darren337

10-12-2005, 08:32 AM

One question no one answered a while back was - where did you find the person you love??? cause i just wanna where you find decent people these days - I am a guy and i go to an all guys school, so i never interact with much girls daily, somtimes on weekends with my sisters friends but not everyday, so where would you find them??? you cant exactly walk up to someone and say you know i want your number???

its really funny about that... have you ever walked up to a complete stranger and actually talked to them? my friend has bought two cars like this. the cars didnt even have for sale signs on them. who said you cant say hi to someone on the same terms and at least say hi... you never know, you may intrigue the girl enough to actually get her number.

sinkinswimmer

10-12-2005, 08:45 AM

oh, agreed.

and uh... i met the last person i dated at school. we didn't know each other before hand, but i just started talking to her one day. we went and got smoothies on campus after our next class. we exchanged numbers and went out a couple days later. so uh.. yeah. like darren said, don't assume you can't approach a stranger.

strydr

10-12-2005, 03:06 PM

how long did you talk to her before she asked to speak with your sister? how long did she talk to your sister? did you try asking your sister what she wanted? some extra info would be helpful before i make any comments.

I just said hi to her and asked how she was, then my sister walked into my room( it was more like a barge), and i phoned her so she didnt ask for my sister my sister wanted to talk to her (since as long i havent spoken to her she hasnt spoken to my sister, and my sister gets really angry when i tell her that their relationship is based on me lol).
She talked for about 2minutes or so , where i spoke for a few seconds, cause my sister wanted to invite her for dinner one night (my mother likes her so it is perfect), and so that was most of it before the phone was put down.

but where do you find decent people - cause where i live all the girls are so fake and so much lies are spread, no one can be true and serious about their feelings - no one wants to have a relationship - everyone just does drugs and has one nighters and stuff... what the hell is going on with the youth -
So. more importantly where would find a decent girl ???

i never thought about that - approaching someone at random, never been so courageous for a long time. maybe i should try that - seems like a plan. but that kinda happened one time, i was walking around with some friends at the clothing shop and my sister wanted a bra, so the rest walked on but i went with my sister (being the "Protector" that i am). so after a while my sister went to the changing rooms and i was facinated by those two-cupped piece of clothing - this was 4 years ago, then two girls walked past and were laughing. then a while later i was standing in the queue at McD's and the two girls were standing behind me, so i let them stand in front of me to be a gentleman, and so they asked me who i was and for my no. and then they found out that i was their cousin's best friend - kinda weird, but we are just friends now - never thought about that - thanx Darren and sinkinswimmer

Darren337

10-12-2005, 06:47 PM

...so after a while my sister went to the changing rooms and i was facinated by those two-cupped piece of clothing - this was 4 years ago...
ok why cant i help laughing at this line?

...then two girls walked past and were laughing. then a while later i was standing in the queue at McD's and the two girls were standing behind me, so i let them stand in front of me to be a gentleman, and so they asked me who i was and for my no. and then they found out that i was their cousin's best friend - kinda weird, but we are just friends now - never thought about that - thanx Darren and sinkinswimmer

this actually proves TWO things. funny situations that get you noticed in a pleasant manner work to your advantage, and... damn its a small world. anyway i say be more like that moment, courageous as you might say.

sinkinswimmer

10-12-2005, 08:56 PM

hahahaha, yeah. that struck me as pretty funny too darren.

strydr, did she accept your sis's invite to dinner? also, how often have you been calling her? just out of curiousity.

and i've met quite a few decent girls at my university. sure, there's plenty of shallow people out there too, but i think there's a decent number of good ones out there. you just have to know where to look.

strydr

10-13-2005, 05:13 AM

strydr, did she accept your sis's invite to dinner? also, how often have you been calling her? just out of curiousity.

well she said she had other plans but said that she would cancel those but havent from her since (that was monday night). and i havent called her for a month, and then recently i have been calling her once a week, but she tends to be busy the time i call her... dunno if that is "busy" or really busy.

and i've met quite a few decent girls at my university. sure, there's plenty of shallow people out there too, but i think there's a decent number of good ones out there. you just have to know where to look.

i never thought about that, maybe i should wait till university - it makes more sense - basically girls who want to take studying seriously go to university, maybe not but that is the image i get - plus i am about a year away from university, waiting could be good - thanx sinkinswimmer

sinkinswimmer

10-13-2005, 05:29 AM

hmmm... well... your guess is as good as mine to figure out if she's giving you the run around or not. =/ don't know what to tell you. besides to do what you want. if you want to be her friend, keep trying to talk to her once a week or so. i'd be interested to see if she actually comes to dinner on the night your sis suggested...

oh, and no problem... not sure how much i'm actually helping, though.

strydr

10-13-2005, 05:50 AM

you guys on this site help a lot - probably more than you think, i hope she comes though - i shaved myself bald, when before i had longish hair - a style you could gel your hair with!

strydr

10-13-2005, 09:56 PM

... oh and yes, she is coming tomorrow night for dinner - Ra that is, so hopeing for the best... will tell you guys the news after. so... cool.

What is the most romantic night for you???

KuroShinobi

10-14-2005, 03:31 AM

candle light dinner? high class food? that's all i can think of! owh.. if possible, add wine!

sinkinswimmer

10-14-2005, 03:55 AM

^^ haha, kuro's idea sounds good to me too. but really, just being able to have time alone with someone is sometimes all it takes.

strydr

10-14-2005, 04:17 AM

^^ haha, kuro's idea sounds good to me too. but really, just being able to have time alone with someone is sometimes all it takes.

That is absolutely true, you dont need much else, just the fact that you are with the person is more than enough.

can anyone recommend romance anime - cause i think i have watched everyone there is - or i cant get hold of any more???

sinkinswimmer

10-14-2005, 04:18 AM

Romance anime? umm.... all I can think of is Love Hina... romantic comedy...

strydr

10-14-2005, 04:22 AM

okay - i kinda specialise in it... really cool.
would you use romance anime to feel the emotions of love for a while???

sinkinswimmer

10-14-2005, 04:25 AM

umm.... your ex is coming over for dinner, right? but is she expecting it to be romantic between the two of you? or is she expecting to come over and have dinner with your family? she might be expecting the latter, considering your sister is the one who invited her to dinner.

strydr

10-14-2005, 04:47 AM

ya - it is with the family (my mom likes her, which is the best part of it). But you know the situation, so i kinda havent seen her in a month and a bit - which is the biggest part of it, but the previous question was just for curiousity's sake... but still i am kinda excited

Darren337

10-14-2005, 07:38 AM

if i were trying to do sumthin cool, dinner would be nice and all, but i would like to take her somewhere cool... something she would enjoy (hopefully something you both enjoy).

as for dinner with fam, you can always pull her aside after dinner to have a moment alone.

strydr

10-14-2005, 05:40 PM

well she is here, but obviously ignoring the awkwardness, but i am just in her company, which is a little irritating - she actually just walked by, mayb even read this, but i donnu, it seems a little weird. i just said hi, she didnt say a word, when i walk in the room she kinda looks the other direction... ok. lets go...

Oblox

10-14-2005, 06:25 PM

My girlfriend thinks im lame-ish because i like bleach, ahhh!
should i dump her ass?

Darren337

10-14-2005, 06:33 PM

strydr: ouch... do you think she acted like that because you were on the computer?

oblox: does she not like you because you like bleach? does she like anime?

Oblox

10-14-2005, 06:40 PM

Yer, she likes naruto *scratches head* she only saw a few episodes of bleach and thinks its a remake of Gantz, she doesnt dislike me she just thinks my taste in anime sucks ballz.

strydr

10-14-2005, 07:04 PM

strydr: ouch... do you think she acted like that because you were on the computer?

hey maybe, but she didnt say anything to me before that, so whats up with that is she just avoiding the obvious, she should come straight at me with her problem - but then again it could be me... it could.

sinkinswimmer

10-14-2005, 07:15 PM

@ oblox.... i don't think dumping someone for different tastes in anime is a good idea.

@strydr.... get off the computer. you can't make her talk to you. things are awkward. there's no way any of us could know what's going on at this point unless we get her side of the story.... which i'm seeing as unlikely.

strydr

10-14-2005, 08:46 PM

well - sorry for being the computer geek that i am - i spoke to her 5 mins ago and she was saying that we are friends just not so close anymore and that we should mayb try at a later stage, which i am cool with, cause she needs to know what she wants... yeah

sinkinswimmer

10-15-2005, 03:49 AM

haha, i wasn't trying to be negative about it... i was just saying that you have guest and should be courteous and not necessarily on the pc.

as far as the talk... that's good. with a month off, you can't expect things to go back to how they were right away. give it time and just take things as they go....

*debating posting some of his own goings on for insight*

Darren337

10-16-2005, 06:12 AM

*debating posting some of his own goings on for insight*

and on that note, i say start over with just having a solid friendship with her.

if you can stand on better footing, you have a better chance of walking.

strydr

10-16-2005, 01:06 PM

i think that is better, since it is almost like a second chance... its okay i just hafta go with the flow

crazy_shinigami v3

10-16-2005, 04:27 PM

hope u n her will get together again
well, mine is still a problem

sinkinswimmer

10-17-2005, 01:31 AM

and on that note, i say start over with just having a solid friendship with her.

if you can stand on better footing, you have a better chance of walking.

you sir, are on the right track... but i'm a bit ahead of you. i'll post details tomorrow after class... when i'm on a pc that doesn't sound like it's having a coronary trying to load the forums...

strydr

10-17-2005, 04:10 AM

hope u n her will get together again
well, mine is still a problem

hey, how is that goin and all - i remember now your whole story, so how are you and her???

sinkinswimmer

10-19-2005, 09:09 AM

and on that note, i say start over with just having a solid friendship with her.

if you can stand on better footing, you have a better chance of walking.

yeah... i'm already the best friend she has... this past friday she called me in tears because she had a bad fight with what's his name and his family at their restaurant... she trusts me and she knows she's better off without him. she's too scared of getting hurt and starting over again to let go and move on though... i think that has a lot to do with the fact that she's not sure if she has anywhere to go if she leaves him... that was up to date as of the time of my previous post...

to bring things current, i just went out with her yesterday (monday) and things between us are going very well.... and we some how talked about her guy again briefly. this time she just said "we'll see how it goes" .... like she's starting to open her mind to moving on.

any suggestions on how to encourage her to move on without being pushy? basically tips to help point her in the right direction....

strydr

10-20-2005, 02:48 PM

sinkinswimmer are you by any chance Leo star sign???

Whoa - i was thinkin about your situation but before i say anything let me ask some questions i dont know answers to
>>> how much do you want this girl??? - (if a lot, have you told her)
>>> do you have previous history with her - how much???
>>> how old are you and her???
>>> do you have good relations with her???
>>> last one - how completely-broken up is she with the other guy, and by that i mean emotional detachment???

I can only give critical advice if i know this - otherwise i am lost, but i think through this already.

sinkinswimmer

10-20-2005, 07:18 PM

Leo who?

>>>quite a bit. my body language has done most of the talking.
>>>yes, over a year together.
>>>22 and 21.
>>>pretty good. i was the first one she thought to call when she last had a fight with him.
>>>hard to say, but i'd have to guess that it's quite a bit. but there's still some lingering emotions for him.

vittorio301

10-20-2005, 07:36 PM

Hey sinkinswimmer ..I havent read your whole sotry just thiis last page but if you want the gurl and she is barely getting over a guy. Best not make a move till shes completely over him. Just be there for her and when shes over him then make your move (I know it can be a killer..Ive been there). When emotions are high people tend not to think straight.

Well i hope i didnt butt in like an ass if I did tell me and Ill stay out.

sinkinswimmer

10-20-2005, 07:42 PM

nope. your rec. is pretty much what i'm doing already. i was hoping there was something more i could do for her, besides just being there. oh well. the extra advice is always welcome, as long as it's productive.

Darren337

10-20-2005, 07:59 PM

sink: i think strydr meant zodiac sign (Leo)

sinkinswimmer

10-20-2005, 10:33 PM

oh. haha. no, i'm a scorpio.

vittorio301

10-20-2005, 10:55 PM

ok..koo.

So......mmmmm...............nope there isnt anything you can do at the moment to bump her. just give her time.

JustOneShot

10-20-2005, 11:22 PM

Wow. This thread is real serious, huh. I have a predicament of my own but I'll let sinkinswimmer finish the current problem

General Cox

10-20-2005, 11:39 PM

lol, i dont think love comes without problems, i have just been told catagorically that i have no chance of ever going out with my ex anymore because of one lie, how amazing do you think i feel :/

(edit it was a lie to protect us, and now that iv hurt her once i can do it again so we cant go out XD)

Darren337

10-21-2005, 12:41 AM

GC: does she feel that because you lied to her once that she cant trust you any more?

1shot: go ahead and say your problem, we can quote and direct our info so that it doesnt get confused (its what we do anyways.)

General Cox

10-21-2005, 12:43 AM

yup, fabby aint it, also since i tried to turn her round about it iv hurt her more and she cant see us going out, ach well, ill just have to deal with it eh?

Darren337

10-21-2005, 12:51 AM

yup, fabby aint it, also since i tried to turn her round about it iv hurt her more and she cant see us going out, ach well, ill just have to deal with it eh?

well if it was me and i REALLY wanted to be with her, i would go

"ok this is a setback... and its a major one. perhaps if i slowly make things better, this will change later."

my first highschool sweetheart and i broke up because we were too much alike, and we tried too hard to make it work... a year later when i had figured myself out and felt better about everything, i started falling for another girl. around that time my ex noticed the changes in me and later she told me "ya know i never thought it would happen but i started to get feelings for you again... it was kinda cool." i had to read that line over and over in our IM convo, because for me it just didnt seem possible to cause that much of a change in myself.

it may appeared that i have digressed, but i was trying to show you that time can indeed heal all wounds, and thus you must CONFIDENTLY believe in that, and try to move forward with the knowledge that its never over til you're dead. and best of my knowledge, that hasnt happened yet.

sinkinswimmer

10-21-2005, 01:13 AM

^^ Darren beat me to it... but I'll put my 2 cents in anyways.

Wow. This thread is real serious, huh. I have a predicament of my own but I'll let sinkinswimmer finish the current problem

i've got a handle on mine, i just wanted some extra input to see if there was anything else i can do. and don't worry. i don't think anyone in here would mind if you came in with your own questions while others were still seeking advice.

lol, i dont think love comes without problems, i have just been told catagorically that i have no chance of ever going out with my ex anymore because of one lie, how amazing do you think i feel :/

(edit it was a lie to protect us, and now that iv hurt her once i can do it again so we cant go out XD)

trust is a big issue... it's not that she won't trust you ever again... but she does have her rights to be suspicious. if you give her time, and show her it was a mistake she'll probably get over it... but if she always hangs that over your head... you're better off moving on.

Darren337

10-21-2005, 01:17 AM

trust is a big issue... it's not that she won't trust you ever again... but she does have her rights to be suspicious. if you give her time, and show her it was a mistake she'll probably get over it... but if she always hangs that over your head... you're better off moving on.

OH SO TRUE. when a girl will use everything youve done wrong against you, regardless of whether or not it was on purpose or what your intentions may have been, then she's probably trying to control you, and you NEVER want to be in a controlling relationship (true for both sides of the human race)

strydr

10-22-2005, 08:00 PM

for those who know my story - (if you dont know and want to help go back a few pages on this forum and read my entries)

neway - well i think and am almost sure i am over Ra, i didnt call her for a month and then she expected to not notice me (just a reminder), but now the other day she was talking and emailing and smsing my sis about how bad she feels that she messed things up with me, and how she misses my calls and my conversation. but i have forgotten about that story or pathway in my life right now, i almost feel that i dont want to go down the path of love, which for me is really strange cause i have alwaysed wanted a relationship/ girlfriend throughout my life, and i have never been able to fill that gap of my life, so by letting this pass would i be messing up an oppurtunity if she asks me out on a date or should i go through with this - i have really wanted to be with this girl for a very long time, i dont know what to do.
Another thing is that i sent her a letter before i stopped speaking to her, my sister says she reads that every night, maybe she wants this bad - but i knew this is how it is gonna be - the more you want it, the further it gets from you, and now that i dont necessarily want it, it is standing in front of me.
It is also her birthday next week sunday the 30/10 - i bought her present about august and i am gonna take it to her next week on her actual bday, so it will be really special. --- what should do??? should i write her a poem for her birthday???

Leo who?

>>>quite a bit. my body language has done most of the talking.
>>>yes, over a year together.
>>>22 and 21.
>>>pretty good. i was the first one she thought to call when she last had a fight with him.
>>>hard to say, but i'd have to guess that it's quite a bit. but there's still some lingering emotions for him.

Leo - the star sign - when is your bday???

if you want her so bad then go for it, but make sure that she is completely over this guy, if she has some feelings for him she might be trying to get back at him using you, which aint cool. if you can talk to her, maybe confess (this is after she is over him) it will spark an element in her, when you tell someone you like them, that person becomes aware of you, starts feeling something for you.
When i liked Ra not a long time ago i would do anything for her and everything but now i feel as though i dont need to - all i am trying to say is that she should have her head skrewed on properly before she makes any life changing decisions. good luck and i hope that i helped.

strydr

10-24-2005, 02:51 PM

sinkinswimmer

10-24-2005, 10:37 PM

interesting.... only you can answer the first half of your dilemma. i'll try to write more to help you sort things out later.... i can't stick around long.

strydr

10-25-2005, 04:13 AM

interesting.... only you can answer the first half of your dilemma. i'll try to write more to help you sort things out later.... i can't stick around long.

cool, that would help a lot

Cerpin Taxt

10-25-2005, 04:19 AM

strydr

10-25-2005, 06:01 AM

My girlfriend just gave me head for over 20 minutes and had to stop cuz she had to go home and was already late. That really sucks. What should I do to stop this in the future? I wouldnt say she's "bad" at giving head but she's not that great either. Having endurance is great and all but I wish she could just make me nut quick cuz after awhile it gets boring and I just wanna bust my load and roll over and sleep.

A few questions - is this what you really call a relationship, where she gives you head and then she goes, plus how old r you guys, do you give her head.
I dont know why that happens, dont you feel as if you are disrespecting her and stuff, that just isnt right in a relationship.
Is there actually a love-love thing happening here or you just feel the need to get head or to have someone you feel is important to you??? what exactly trying to do???
Get serious and ask yourself what you trying to achieve in life.
Get a hold of what you are doing - firstly grow up, secondly think, thirdly look at what you are trying to do, fourthly take time to ask yourself if it is the right thing to do.
Rather use your left hand in the future. it makes it a whole lot easier, for you and everyone else. How old is this girl by the way???

Cerpin Taxt

10-25-2005, 06:28 PM

A few questions - is this what you really call a relationship, where she gives you head and then she goes, plus how old r you guys, do you give her head.
I dont know why that happens, dont you feel as if you are disrespecting her and stuff, that just isnt right in a relationship.
Is there actually a love-love thing happening here or you just feel the need to get head or to have someone you feel is important to you??? what exactly trying to do???
Get serious and ask yourself what you trying to achieve in life.
Get a hold of what you are doing - firstly grow up, secondly think, thirdly look at what you are trying to do, fourthly take time to ask yourself if it is the right thing to do.
Rather use your left hand in the future. it makes it a whole lot easier, for you and everyone else. How old is this girl by the way???

What the **** is wrong with you? Don't act like you know anything about me just from knowing that I get head from my girlfriend. Your whole response was completely uncalled for and unnecessary. But I'll answer your questions anyway even though you seem like a pompous asshole.

1. Is that what I call a relationship? First of all sex isn't the only part of our relationship and it was pretty moronic of you to assume that.

2. I'm 17, she's 18.

3. I don't give her head.

4. I don't think I'm disrespecting her at all. I don't force her to give me head, she does it because she wants to. If you think I'm supposed to not let her give me head out of "respect", well then...you're ****ing lame.

5. We don't love each other we've only been going out for a week.

6. What I'm trying to achieve in life has nothing to do with her.

I'm not answering the rest of your post because it's too ridiculous to warrant a serious reply from me. I suggest you turn off the Dr. Phil and go get laid, because you seem very sexually frustrated, confused, and ignorant.

strydr

10-25-2005, 10:14 PM

dude i am sorry - i didnt know all the facts - i thought you guys were going out for long - since you say i dont want her to leave, almost implying that you guys have a pattern.
But to answer your first question - if she wants to take your head, then fine, but that is the first time i have heard of that, maybe i havent been out lately, neway.
If you want it fine - what are you aiming for, cause i am also 17 and the girl i like is 15, but i want a serious relationship (i know you might ask yourself why the **ck but that is what i want, do you want it???)
I was out of place, sorry, but i just came out of an argument with another asshole at school who just uses innocent girls, and i just came to this site, coincidence yes!
Tell me more about it if you want help.
Sorry

Darren337

10-25-2005, 11:23 PM

I would like to remind everyone that this place is to discuss the hardships of starting/maintaining/rebuilding a good relationship, not discussing "what if i dont come?"

strydr

10-26-2005, 06:01 AM

oh yes, could someone help me before that day!!!
I am really worried. (Check previous replies)

sinkinswimmer

10-26-2005, 06:37 AM

I am still unsure about Ra, it is her birthday in a week. i am gonna give her my birthday presents but i feel as though i have lost touch with her, i also feel as if i have lost my feelings for her, but not a long time ago i wanted her so bad. Is this just a product of me wanting to get over her or did i not like her in the first place???
I am really confused, it seems that she really misses me, but i am really busy with school lately (i think i am gonna call her tonight or now), then i will wait for a answer from you guys <Reply!>

well, honestly. it seems you're both confused, and i can't really tell you what to do. do you want her back? did you want her back? why or why not? is your recent decline in feelings for her just because of the time you've spent apart? those are some questions you need to ask yourself. hopefully that helps.

strydr

10-26-2005, 06:11 PM

well, honestly. it seems you're both confused, and i can't really tell you what to do. do you want her back? did you want her back? why or why not? is your recent decline in feelings for her just because of the time you've spent apart? those are some questions you need to ask yourself. hopefully that helps.

I am not sure if i want her back, i must say the past few weeks i have been feeling much freeier than i was when i liked her, which is kinda weird. I wanted her then, i am not sure now.
It is probably because we were separated, also i decided to get over her in my mind, so it was already my intention.
I still feel as though i need her to make my life a little meaningful.

I am still wondering if i should write her a poem for her bday

Darren337

10-26-2005, 07:41 PM

I am not sure if i want her back, i must say the past few weeks i have been feeling much freeier than i was when i liked her, which is kinda weird. I wanted her then, i am not sure now.
It is probably because we were separated, also i decided to get over her in my mind, so it was already my intention.
I still feel as though i need her to make my life a little meaningful.

I am still wondering if i should write her a poem for her bday

mixed feelings like this are something you're bound to encounter when things dont always go right. i say go ahead and write her a poem for her bday but dont make it an elaborate one or one that seems to be playing towards "i want you back" or "lets just be friends." make it a neutral poem.

after her birthday talk to her, and ask her what she would like to do. does she want to move on? if you both dont completely want to move on, then why not slowly make a new relationship? you never know what may come of asking these questions, and thats why recommend "after bday" because at least you can keep from making it an awkward bday.

strydr

10-27-2005, 05:53 AM

mixed feelings like this are something you're bound to encounter when things dont always go right. i say go ahead and write her a poem for her bday but dont make it an elaborate one or one that seems to be playing towards "i want you back" or "lets just be friends." make it a neutral poem.

after her birthday talk to her, and ask her what she would like to do. does she want to move on? if you both dont completely want to move on, then why not slowly make a new relationship? you never know what may come of asking these questions, and thats why recommend "after bday" because at least you can keep from making it an awkward bday.

hey - i will have to try that neutral poem.
After bday seems better.
i think i will try that ... thanx a lot Darren337

ichikisu

10-27-2005, 12:50 PM

Howdy,

I'd just figure I put myself in here. I've been a love doctor for a very long time in my city and thought I could help out some people here. It seems that a lot of people ask for advice (even though I haven't dated in almost 6 years but I know better, lol) and they've been doing quite well, except for my asian friend who likes to be a nutcase every once in a while. Crazy I may say but he's fairly good with girls. Hehe.

Anyhow, just wanted to let everyone know.

Cheers,
Ichikisu

strydr

10-27-2005, 10:02 PM

is it okay to replace the feeling of love with a false feeling of watching romantic anime??? that is for me the best substitute

ichikisu

10-28-2005, 12:46 PM

In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with that. I have not dated in 6 years but nothing like romantic anime helps keep me in check quite nicely without going bonkers if you know what I mean. If you feel down or out because you don't have a girlfriend or are jealous of your friends that they have one, it's best to keep them in check until you do find a good lover. (Believe me, my friend who's best friend has a very haut chick who wrestles like a b***h!!) Therefore, it certainly is ok. I've been fine with that feeling for a long time (4 1/2 years now) and it has kept me in check thus far.

Cheers,
Ichikisu

strydr

10-28-2005, 03:11 PM

cool thanx a lot - i thought that i was maybe doin somethin wrong, but i love the feelin when something good happens - thanx again

ichikisu

10-28-2005, 03:16 PM

You are most welcome. It's who I am that a lot of people like about me. I help them understand themselves quite well. :D

Ichikisu

strydr

10-29-2005, 01:11 PM

you seem cool - well you have helped me a lot - well kinda. you are just like somebody i know - but that person, i dont exactly credit, because she gives advice but has never been in a relationship... hope to see you around the relationship thread more.

Sahiden

10-29-2005, 01:58 PM

I simply never had a relationship, I know a little about psychology and people. That's all.
I did attempt before to give advice here. But I figured I'm not really credible on th etopic, so I quitted.

ichikisu

10-29-2005, 07:38 PM

Sahiden,

It doesn't really take a person to have a relationship to understand and give advice. I've known people who have never been in a relationship and gave advice. Just make sure you field the area of knowledge well enough and psychology is a good standpoint for being a love doctor. I haven't had a long-term relationship ever (both were very short, less than two months) but I understand what one goes through because I have people tell me their experiences and I learn from each one. Learning is something I do everyday and I know how to find answers for people who can't really help themselves due to various reasons like stress, feeling of rejection, etc.

Anyone can help out as long as they understand the person's problem. Normally, I don't just give advice right out. I usually ask for opinions from other love doctors on the topic and come out with a more appropriate answer or more supportive answer. That's why I'm community-minded because I'm not going to tell someone how they are going to run their life. I'm doing this to aid them and advice is meant as another way of dealing with a problem, not an order or instruction to do something.

I guess you know what I'm getting at. It's great if you are trying your best to help out as that's what I like about people. Stick around and help out when you can. ;)

Strydr, I'm glad I've helped you one way or another. LOL It's unusually rare for any to compare me to another person but I do understand your viewpoint. Like I always say, get a second opinion if you doubt something. I always have. That's why my research skills are just too good these days. Always find other resources to back it up. LMAO I'm such a hard worker these days that I can't really seem to do anything else but work.

Have a great day fellas,
Ichikisu

BeryllJ

10-30-2005, 03:22 PM

C there's a guy which i know him for few months only in my school ! At first i thought he was great...he's a top student of my form ! When we r getting closer and closer...this guy here started chasing me...he invited me to watch movie together...so i went with him ! then 2days after that...he told me that he likes me and ask if i can give him a chance ! so...i wasn't inlove with tht guy...so i told him straight away tht i don wanna talk bout relationship thingi during this time coz we have an government exam coming soon which is very important to our future ! So...the guy told me it's okay with him...he can wait till the exam's over ! So i replied...when the time comes then i'll tell u ! The next day after that...he started following me around in sch...he sit with me in the canteen...help me carry my things...and doin kinds of stuff to make me feel good ! Things are getting worse, he started buying me stuff and invite me to watch movie again ! so i went with him another time, this time is the worse man ! I sit beside him and he asked me wether he can put his hand on my shoulder or not...then i'm like starting crapping there coz i don know how to anwer him coz i might hurt him ! Withouy wasting time...he put his hand on my shoulder ! (DamnIT) then I'm like nth to say d...so i just pretending like nth and concentrate in the movie ! After a while...i just can't stand it...so i pretend tht i wanna look at my handphone so i lean back and his hand took off ! After that...i thought nth's gonna happen d ! Who knows...after i put back my hp in my handbag...he started holding my hand ! (OMGosh!! It's Disgusting!) luckly tht time...the movie is gonna end ! Then i told him tht he better took off his hand coz my parent's might waiting 4 me outside the cinema...so he took off ! The day after that...things are getting worse than before...he go into my class whenever he got free time ! and those b*tches start gossiping around ! I really hate that ! So the guy knows that i gettin mad and i walk out from the class to the back of my sch canteen...and the guy follows me ! He asked issit okay if he still go into my class everytime ? tht time i was really mad...so i answered him without think carefully ! At the end...i hurt him ! He's so emotional after that...i think bout one week ! He send me an e-mail...telling me tht he's goin to give up ! So i feel guilty after tht...i just don wanna make him sad so i apologised ! and there he goes again...his daily routine before started again ! MY best friends told me tht i can't leave this prob. like this...so they asked me to be honest with the guy and tell him da truth tht i don like him..before the prob. gettin deeper ! So...i did practice...and i told him ! So...in a month we din talk to each other just like before we don know each other ! But...BUT...don know wht's wrong with his brain again..he started to invite me to watch movie again...but i refused to go ! and i think he wanna make me feel jealous so he started hang out with those chicks tht he told me before tht he hate the Girls ! And one time...he asked me to eat lunch with him...so i told him that i cannot go coz i got no car to fetch me ! Who knows...he offered me to pick me up from my uncle's off. and send me back ! (Aiks...i thought this wasn't goin to happen !) so i gave him another reason which is my uncle don let me go and finally he gave up ! Lately...he's trying to talk to me..but i keep playin hide and seek with him ! so...he don't care nemore...(i think he's finally gave up) Nowadays..whener he goes in sch...there's always a girl beside him...and i heard my friends told me tht the girl treat him nicely but one thing i thinking bout' is...the girl already have a boyfriend, i know it coz...her boyfriend's still sending him testimonials everytime in friendster.com ! So...wht's goin on ? i don wanna think bout it d...and sure i don wanna care or know bout him !! But..one prob. still remain...do i still need to play hide and seek to ignore him in sch ? ne1 please tell me ! ( I hope u guys understand my story...)

KuroShinobi

10-30-2005, 04:09 PM

dont worry, i m a msian as well so i understand your manglish (our own version of english)

tell him again directly that you dont love him but if he wants to just be friends then you're ok with it.. seek help from friends and family members.. they'll understand your situation better.. always be in a group. if he asks you out and you're don't want him to take advantage of you but dont wanna turn him down, just go but invite a few friends together..

the best way is to be tough.. have no mercy, just tell him straight to his face that you don't have any feelings for him and ask him to get on with his life.. it may cause guilt but sometimes there's no other choice to get some space..

last resort is to call the cops...

BeryllJ

10-30-2005, 04:26 PM

I did told him to be friends...but still he act like before ! I did discuss with my friends...they told as like wht u did ,Well...i'll try to be tough to him..but it's kinda rude rite ? coz i never try this in my life ! neway..thanks...(i met a first M'sians here...hehe)

KuroShinobi

10-30-2005, 04:32 PM

i wouldn't care about whether it's rude or not.. but what i meant by seek help from friends is ask them to back you up whenever he's around and all.. maybe you can ask your older family members and friends to get rid of him?

Zattara2222

10-30-2005, 05:56 PM

Ok I have a serious problem..... I cant belive that Im posting this but this gurl twisted my mind for three years now....I completly dont know wut to do...... Let me tell how it happend....

We were classmates in school.... for three years.... in the third grade she had to move to another school...... I totally forgot about her but when I started highschool I meet up with her.... she was in another class.... when I first saw her I was mezmerized by her beauty she was like an angel, I know that this sounds corny but that was how it happend.... I said to myself "From where do I know her??"..... then it popped in my head "She was with u in school"..... as I walk by her hoppeing that she doesnt remember me she suddenlly grabs my arm and says "Arent u Victor from school??"
I totally blocked..... I mumbled something...... that was one of the most worst moments in my life.... I usually dont have problems speaking with girls.... I even went out with some but this one messed my brain....

Ok so we were freshmans.... I didnt speak often with here just Hello`s..... then my friend with which I was in school invited her to his birthday... I starting making plans on how to hit on her..... I arrive at my friend house and he asks me if I can pick her up at the bus stop because she dont know where he lives..... I say ok with the prospect that I can talk with her.... as I was standing in the bus stop... she arrived...as I saw her I entered stupid mode.... luckly we didnt have to walk for long to get to my friends house.... I avoided her all night I couldnt stand the stress so I....... got drunk and called my friend grandma a cow.... but they all tooked it as a joke... when it was time to walk her home 5 guys offerd to walk her home..... we all ended wallking her home ...... I almost got it by a buss....

After mt friends birthday she didnt avoided me..... I expected that she would avoid me ... she still said hello and I was back were I started.

I dont know why I like this girl..... I cant seem to get her off my mind .... she is like a f******g angel, corny but thats how I feel that I dont know wut to do I desire her so much but I don act, when I see her my morale drops, I cant think well with this pressure..... luckly for computers to get her off my mind ..... I wouldnt be here writing this post if I wasnt in a pickle...... next Saturday is my friends birthday again.... and she will be there........... I DONT KNOW WUT TO DO!!!........ so I need your opinions on this....... if someone knows how to ditch the feelings for her pls tell me...... I have tryed to forget her but I cant........ if u know wut to do tell me....

Just dont say that im childish or imature cuz if u would be in my situation u will see my point, I never thought that I could get messed up in such a way by a gurl.... Im not that kinda guy to be emotional and stuff like that!!

ichikisu

10-30-2005, 11:46 PM

Zattara, I see your situation is pretty complicated. It seems to me that you are automatically attracted to her unconsciously which makes sense to a certain extend. However, you do not wish have feelings for her which I can certainly understand. I know very much how it feels in that kind of situation. I've been there myself. The hard part is that I don't quite know what goes on in people's mind when they get to that point. My first suggestion is to find something confortable to talk to the girl about. Try to be comfortable talking with her for a long period of time. Only think about what you are talking about with her and be interactive with the conversation so that both of your are involved. This will take some of the pressure off that you like this girl. The more you talk with her, the less you'll feel uncomfortable with liking her so much. This way, you can easily control your feelings after. This usually takes about a month or two.

You can PM if you still feel you have trouble. I'd be willing to talk with you personally on MSN so just PM me and I'll hook up with you to help you.

BeryllJ,

You've been given some good advice but apparently, it didn't look like it aided your situation. If the guy is following you so much and you feel very uncomfortable with him, let him know that you don't like being harassed and it is punishable by law depending on where you are located. If you don't like being touched and you've told him that touching was not allowed and he refuses to comply, it's sexual harassment/assault. You have the legal right to sue him (both Canada and US laws says so). I'd be willing to assist you if you can PM me with some details.

Sincerely,
Ichikisu

jodec123

10-31-2005, 02:14 AM

yea, Zattara, i agree with ichikisu. try to talk with her often, and hopefully you'll be cooler around her than before.

Darren337

10-31-2005, 04:04 AM

BeryllJ: a few things.
1. Tabs (break up the text a bit, makes it easier to read) :winking56
2. Manglish? hehe, well i managed just fine, heh.
3. The problem is he thinks its ok to follow you around and such as a friend but what you need to tell him is that you want him as a friend, and you dont allow friends to do that to you.

Zattara:
To see a girl and be automatically lost for words is one of those rare moments in life you think "that will never happen to me." well it did and this is what its like. anyway i have a fewquestion about this girl:

- do you like her or are you just attracted to her?
- do you want to go out with her or not? (you werent really clear about where you stand)
- if you DO want to go out with her, is there anything else you like about her than how pretty she is?
- if you DONT want to go out with her, is it because she already has a boyfriend?

as ichikisu said, you need to find ways to relax around her. you need to try anything that will relax you, aside from drinking again, that could lead to more problems than solutions. going about this isnt always easy, but another thing i recommend is thinking about her when she's not around. but don just think "wow she's so pretty." try to figure out what EXACTLY it is that attracts you to her.

if you can focus on that, and make sense of why, you might find it easier to relax. and of course, if you can relax, you'll feel better and perhaps be able to talk to her.

sinkinswimmer

10-31-2005, 04:45 AM

BeryllJ - if you've been playing hide and seek and he doesn't get the point.... there's nothing you can do. just be honest. try telling him it's ok to be friends, but you don't want him hanging around all the time cause you don't want to give him the wrong idea.

zattara - ..... you're young... so i'll try to be kind.... but really. just get over it man. you're a guy, she's a girl, she's hot.... so what? i think she caught you off guard that one time when she grabbed your arm, and you've been mentally blocking yourself since. so she caught you off guard and it makes you nervous just thinking about how to approach her now.

just cut all the b.s. stop the drinking. and next time you see her, don't think of a way to scam on her like some wannabe hotshot. just go up to her, say hi, and start a conversation. talk and catch up, and if things go well, ask her to hang out sometime. that's all you gotta do. so quit trying to think up the perfect way to hit her, and just go talk to her.

Zattara2222

10-31-2005, 05:05 AM

Sahiden

10-31-2005, 11:34 AM

I can say I've ever had a similar experience. Yet it was more complicated than this problem you have...
I just supressed my own feeling for the girl back then, because her boyfriend was the better match in my eyes.(feeling supression makes you do weird things....)

In the end we both went to diffirent schools, she switched boyfriends a few times, but I always kept contact with her, we still are great friends. my feelings for her never stopped as I had first hoped. But I learned to live this way, I know she'll never be able to have a relationship with me. But I don't care anymore. Even if my feelings for her ruin the rest of my love-life. I don't care. Because merely being her friend is a greater honor than to be adored by anyone else.

This is just me, and I'm pretty strange on this area. I love her personality, I've proven that to myself many times. But I should have tried being a closer friend back then. Maybe I should have talked about my feelings at some point. But I never did. I'm sure she's happy, leading a perfect life. Because I want her to have all that. Wether that's with or without me doesn't matter to me.
Now, can you say you love a person this much? I you do. Then I suggest you someday try being more than friends... Because else you'll end up like me, regretting whole years of your life.

If you're not sure... just talk to her. On a friendly way. Don't make it too obvious you love her. But don't supress your feelings either. It's a difficult situation, but you got lot's of time. And sooner or later, you'll get a chance on happiness. If you take that chance or not is up to you.
Just act the way you are, don't try being someone else. Because that's to obvious to other people. Just be you.

BeryllJ

10-31-2005, 01:14 PM

Thanks for u guys friendly opinion :redbiggri ! i'll try to improve my english "Darren337"...sorry tho. :o shame on me...

ichikisu

10-31-2005, 01:32 PM

BeryllJ,

I have no worries on your english as I understood you perfectly fine. My english is not always good (I'm Canadian but because of my hearing impairment, my english didn't improve much because I didn't talk a lot or become social enough to be able to understand people) but I always try my hardest to be able to make sure others understand what I say. And I would like to say that you are most welcome. If you have any further troubles, just let us know. We are here to help so don't be afraid to ask questions that you wouldn't be comfortable asking.

Sinkinswimmer, I couldn't put it better than that. You are most correct with your statement. Thank you for clarifying that for me.

Zattara, I do understand that your feelings are out of control. You need to be able to understand that if you cannot control it and the girl notices it, she might think of you differently. That's why you need to able to find something comfortable to talk with her about. I know how hard that is and I've been in that situation. I may not be that good with girls personally but I know how people feel when they go through that stage as I've been there myself. I have another good advice since you brought it up, you'd want to find out as much about her as possible. Get some more information from your friends as much as you can but don't be conspicuous about it. If you friend asks why you want to know her so much, let them know you are trying to understand her because she's "giving you the jives." If she keeps giving you that feeling, you may not be able to control yourself properly anymore.

It's like I said, the more you understand her, the more comfortable you'll know what to talk about. One thing you must have and it's going to take a lot of it from you is courage. I had to scrounge up a lot of it to speak to this girl who "gave me the jives" as I knew she had a boyfriend but I didn't want that feeling. I was able to succeed in trying for two months and since then I've had no problem being around her. You just have to keep trying. It's the only way you are going to get over it.

Another thing, it is not wise to try and hit on a girl that already has a boyfriend. It's best to stay away from that but you can still be best friends with her. Who knows, maybe the boyfriend might dump her and she really doesn't know what to do much. Best friends are best to get answers from and I see a lot of this nowadays where a lot of best friends end up going out. However, do not depend on this because every situation is different. If you like her that much, it is best to be friends with her. I cannot stress this enough because I know where fights come from for most people.

The best I can say is TRY to scrounge up the courage to be able to talk with her comfortable, as hard as it may be. Find out more about her. The more you know, the more comfortable you can be around her. Just keep trying and NEVER give up. I mean it. The instant you do, you are only looking for trouble. Think of this as a life and death situation. That was worked best for me and I succeeded because of that. You want to be able to act properly around her yet you don't want to create trouble for her making yourself look stupid and hideous. You don't want that. Best friends are the best option for you right now.

I hope you can understand what I'm trying to get. I know a lot of people lack courage, myself especially but I've slowly manage to overcome obstacles in the future because I learned it the hard way. Once you conquer that feeling, you'll feel more confident of yourself and you will not be caught like that again.

Cheers everyone,
Ichikisu

Zattara2222

10-31-2005, 02:21 PM

Well thx for the encouragement......... I think that I will try speaking to her on my friends birthday.....

But I think that she knows that I like her, a friend of mine told her this..... the weasel, she always treated me with her curiosity but I never let her see beyond my shell that I created for defense, even if by some chance of fate we will begin a relationship I think that it would be impossible because at school Im a totally different person... but I will give it a chance...... What can I lose!!!

strydr

10-31-2005, 08:02 PM

Well its more than fizical attraction, I had other crushes on other girls but this one feels different, I like her for wut she is, she aint like other ppl, she doesnt think wut others think about her, she is always smilling to me when I pass by her and say Hello, she aint like other girls her age.... she is more mature..... the only thing that I dont like at her is the fact that he smokes.....

Sure I would go out with her but when I always see her I enter stupid or angry mode, its like all of my knowledge on wut to say is gone when she appears, so I think thats impossible for me to be with her.

I got some fact from some friends of mine about her, and she is pretty much the kinda girl im looking for.

I would wanna try to go out with her but im very affraid not to screw it up so I dont act..... Why?? I dont know!!! She has a boyfriend but that wouldnt stop me getting her....

This situation is really embarassing and childish, I am pudding when I am with this girl, I had girlfriends but none of them make me feet like this..... its so corny..... is this feelling LOVE??? or is it just a desire of mine????

??????

I kinda have a similar situation like you but the one thing that i figured out is that when i started liking this girl i went blank when i looked at her, and i could never speak to her face to face properly, and like you said she is just like an angel (There was even a time when she was in my house around the corner and as i turned into the kitchen we stood face to face and all i could say was,"...WOW!.." then i ran away), we spoke mostly on the phone, then when i started seeing her less and actually started liking this girl because she is an awesome person, i could actually speak to her, now i often look into her angelic eyes, damn it - her eyes are as if the morning sun is just coming up like the True Dawn - i dont know why i stopped liking her, but i seem to be getting the feelings back nowadays. My advice is similar to the rest of them, but find something that u like besides the way she looks (that was my first as well), then start speaking about intelligent intellectual things, just something interesting - just be yourself, it takes time to stop the freezing up, i know.
Neway good luck with that.

Check my previous threads if you dont know what i am talking about >>
I went to Ra's party, it was okay, i really enjoyed the food, she really liked the gift - it was something we both liked and laughed about when we first saw it - and all went fairly well, it is just i dont know why but some of my lost feelings have come back and i am really depressed because i dont know what to do, i am in one giant serious mess. There was a guy before me - kinda like her x but they didnt go out - who was also there but he is dead shy and tends to just sit in the room the whole time, i really dont know his story, with her right now. i asked her (thanx Darren) what feelings she still had and if she wanted to start over, but she hasnt replied to my email yet.
I am gonna see her on our religious day, which is in a few days and i dont know how to react to her, i think i have these mixed feelings - but what do i do with them, i feel like i lost my chance with her - it is too late, she is trying to get over me and i am trying to get over her.
I dont know what is goin - with my feelings and her, what should i do, start the stupid cycle again or try another time.

She just smsd me saying thanx for the gifts - but she sent one yesterday as well - is that just thanx, maybe i am thinkin that she wants me - i am dillusional about this whole thing.
Lately i have been watching Ichigo 100% and i just want to be in a relationship but feel that there is no chance - so i replace that feeling by watching anime.

ichikisu

10-31-2005, 08:37 PM

Do give that some time. If you really want to know, why don't you ask her? Any hint you get will let you know. It doesn't hurt at all to ask. Just becareful of what you say next. Remember to always say thank you.

Zattara2222

10-31-2005, 09:24 PM

Well strydr I feel pretty much the same as u feel, I have decided that I will try to talk to her at my friends birthday..... we will see wut will happen then....

Thank u all for your posts.............. This feelings SUCK!!!

ichikisu

10-31-2005, 09:52 PM

Glad you are doing so. No matter what, keep trying. I know you hate the feeling. I did too when I had it.

Cheers,
Ichikisu

Darren337

11-01-2005, 07:33 AM

this is true of ANYTHING you do: if you don't try, you never know how things may turn out. if you succeed, than you keeep yourself from missing out on that success any longer than necessary. if you fail, then you know that you didnt do it right.

but just because you fail doesnt mean its over forever. more often than not, life will be kind if you try once, and offer you another chance... sometimes more. but remember, you will never succeed after failing if you do not see the errors and fix them.

side note: ichikisu please edit your posts instead of deleting your post and reposting, it makes things messy.

ichikisu

11-01-2005, 02:53 PM

Actually, the reason I deleted the messages was because I accidentally hit the post quick reply too many times. I do edit if things need to be fixed. Thanks for bringing up that though. I appreciate it.

I very much agree with your thesis Darren. It's one of the ways I've succeeded in a lot of occasions.

Ichikisu

strydr

11-01-2005, 03:39 PM

Darren337

11-01-2005, 11:52 PM

well do you think it is a good time for me to try again, since i feel as if she might have already given up. At this point in time I feel as if she is the only one for me, but i know it will change - still i dont get these types of opportunities, i know people say that life will be kind and give you a second chance, but i feel as if i wont get another until i reach my 20s, and i really want 1 now, since i am in my "springtime of youth" (hehehe...)
I dont know, i dont wanna force it, it must come naturally, but i feel that i this girl is meant for me right now.
Please try to think of what i should do - cause i am clearly baffled about this right now. Should i or shouldnt i???

have you told this to her? she might have mixed feelings for the same reason, and while you may have covered the topic with her, if you didnt bring up this point, you two might have missed a critical detail in the relationship you two currently have, your feelings for eachother, and what you two want for the future.

hondadabink

11-02-2005, 04:22 AM

i know i am going to sound old and everyone you talk to who is married is going to tell you ( just about) this,
the majority of people who marry out of high school end in divorise ( sorry i suck at spelling) now there are some exeptions but very few that i know of.
second marrages tend to out last the first.

now on a personal note: i loved my single life when i had a life.
and when some one called me a slut ( the person calling me this had slepped with twice as many people as i had) one song went threw my head
" Don't give a D**n about my bad reputation
living in sin is the new geneation" joan jett
but now that i am married i love that too. and i love the weird relationship we have ( my husband loves the fact that i am bisexual and on prowl for a girlfriend). and i love my family that we created together.

i guess my point is alot of you are still young, be patient. keep looking and if you mess up you only learn from it. it is the experances you learn from. and from experiance going back to the ex isn't always the greatest of ideas. don't be shy be upfrount and if you get rejected someone better is waiting for you in the future.
and if the girls are rejecting you know whille your young they'll be flocking after you in the future when you making tons of money and they want to be arm candy.

ok i've said enouf. and remember to you i may be talking out of my a** but take it to heart if you want otherwise screw it. i've been trew alot and i'm full of free advice( especially advice pertaining to sex my husband and i are in to sex psychology) just remember i am not a licensed psychclogist so don't blame me you don't have to take it.

Darren337

11-02-2005, 07:53 AM

strydr

11-02-2005, 04:08 PM

well, i have told her about once or twice that i really liked her back then, and when she told me she didnt want a serious relationship (which was the only type of relationship she wanted with me - basically she didnt want it to be a once off thing) at the time, i got really pissed, i dont know why - maybe she led me on unknowningly, but maybe i should blame myself - after all, you create your own problems, just like this one - but for me right now i really cant deal with this emotional burden, maybe i should confess to her again and like you said get facts straight with her and our future (so to say).
I am still not sure since she hasnt emailed back yet, i dont exactly want to put my burden on her - i am not that selfish. I still am confused but maybe i should talk to her again about all this again - but it is always a very rough topic to deal with.

and HONDADABINK - i actually had a friend tell me about the same thing as that last night, that there is always something bigger and better waiting on the other side of this beautiful green hill, all you have to do is climb over and then you will have a chance to see something much greater. Thanx your words are wise - still i think you over explained your situation, but it is cool that your husband accepts you for who you are.

strydr

11-06-2005, 04:43 PM

Darren337

11-08-2005, 05:37 AM

Well, i kinda told Ra what i was feeling - thanx darren - she wasnt over me yet, she says that it takes her a long time, i am just waiting for her reply on what she wants to do.
I am clearly not over her yet... i have to finish this before it is too late, but now i feel as if i trapped myself like before, because now she hasnt given me a reply and she knows i like her... just like before, i cant keep doing to myself.

the critical part is to not make it feel like you walked into a trap.

what you need to do is set a priority and a time limit. tell yourself "ok im going to wait a week" or whatever you choose... now dont give her a time limit, just HAVE a time limit. this doesnt work the same way if you tell her. if you dont get an answer after the time you choose, tell her "well you havent answered me, and i dont know what to think, so im going to assume that you'd rather not be with me."

yes thats hard to look at without feeling like you could ruin it, but sometimes you have to make the other person see that they are REALLY going to lose you. its a psychological thing youre up against and this is what you need to play around and against.

as always good luck.

strydr

11-08-2005, 11:13 AM

thanx Darren - i know you are kinda busy lately but thanx for giving me some advice.
Well i kinda told her that - and now she gave me half a reply yesterday, (cause she had to go home from the internet cafe) and she seems as though - just like you said - she felt really sad when I was gonna leave her, i kinda didnt give her a time limit, just said that it was the end.
Again, i dont know my mixed feelings - i dont feel trapped but more obliged to be with her if we were to start being a couple, which i find cool - but i think it would best to start after exams - i am already stressed about that, but i like your whole attitude as to make it a freedom thing instead of a trap, i must still learn to do that.
Just finished my Computer Science - JAVA exam. Still got another 2 half weeks left of school, that is why you probably wont see me around much.
Thanx a lot again.

PS: do any of you know of good Romances, i have watched many so put all that you have watched. - Arigatou ^__^

Z_Blitz

11-10-2005, 04:36 PM

Heh... seems like you were in a bit of a pinch there... As long as you think that what you've done is right don't look back... You'll only twist your head ^_^... In other words what is done is done... Aim forward... right now you've got to complete you got a future that you're betting on... In any case, good luck and don't feel down... Life has its ups and downs and believe me I've been in downs for so long that I can no longer tell how down am I... Sometime later, I just may post an issue regarding myself that may prove helpful for you... Its long though and I'm feeling to lazy ^_^

strydr

11-19-2005, 05:07 PM

Darren337

11-19-2005, 06:00 PM

I am gonna finally ask this girl i liked for year out, next week. but damn this is the final stride for me and her, after this it is down either one of my two paths for the holidays wish me luck, again those who dont know my story check previous replies on this thread.

in the end you know that at the very least, you made an effort to better the situation, take pride and happiness in that, no matter the outcome.

ChiaPet

11-20-2005, 01:44 AM

I just started dating my first boyfriend 2 weeks ago, and it was such a surprise when he asked me! I liked him for months before, but I just assumed that he wasn't interested. Unfortunately he's still very shy...::sigh:: Holding hands in public makes him nervous. Any suggestions? (besides waiting for him to loosen up. I've been waiting, and am willing to wait a considerable amount of time^_^)

By the way, do posts not count in the randomness section anymore? MAN! It did before my comp crashed and I lost everything...(2 or 3 months ago...before summer ended, though)

Darren337

11-20-2005, 04:38 AM

chiapet: well why is he nervous about holding your hand in public? ask him, and if you wanna make him feel at ease, have fun with it, but dont make it seem like you're making fun of him for it, then he will probably close up more, which is the opposite effect you're looking for.

side note: posting in the randomness section no longer affects your post count because too many people used it to spam their numbers off the charts.

General Cox

11-20-2005, 12:40 PM

lol, this guy souonds like me when i asked out my ex :p

first time id asked anyone out for over a year and im fairly shy (yes i know i dont seem it :p) well it took us about two months to settle down completely, mainly because i overthought everything. i was scared to hold her hand or hug her on the first date because i was worrying that she wouldnt like that. Even took me two weeks to kiss her!!!!! havent stopped since, but thats a nother story.

Try holding his hand and show you dont mind being there, because he is probly thinking about it, but is scared of what you will think of that ^_^

ChiaPet

11-20-2005, 03:29 PM

Hmm...alright. Thank you General Cox and Darren337! (whoo, it's been awhile, hasn't it?) I'll take your advice into account, and try it out tomorrow when I see him.

Shaehl

11-20-2005, 06:21 PM

dare2move

11-20-2005, 07:31 PM

haha. i decided that i loved myself too much to have spare room in my heart for anybody other than my friends, family and brad pitt. :D

strydr

11-20-2005, 07:39 PM

chiapet - i think, like g-cox and darren have said, you have to let him get used to the whole situation, well for me, i am really slow, it took me about 2 weeks as well.
ask him why he doesnt, tell him how you feel, ask him why he is shy (or is he shy that he likes you - that happen to me, i didnt know how everyone else would react to me dating this person.)? Maybe you should just grab his hand and hold it tight, like in the anime romances.

This is what happened to me, i am gonna try to put it in your story.
I changed this girl who was going down the wrong path. Where we live she has a certain reputation, not quite a good one, and on the other hand i live in a community who judges a lot - like for instance, where i live my dad is a very well known doctor and our surname is quite famous - Jakoet that is.
If you have the surname Jakoet in my community you are instant judged as being a spoilt brat who "knows " that he is better than everyone else.
So there was a day when i met this girl in town and we kinda just walked around had lunch and stuff, along the way we walked past some of the guys from our community and they commented the whole time - i was soooooo pissed. it almost made me have second thoughts about loving this girl - but in the end nothing matters, just what you feel and what the other person feels for you. I always like to think it is one of those Gallant Knight saves Pure Peasant Girl stories, but she is really the perfect person for me right now.
I think i went overboard a bit.

But what i am trying to say is that maybe he feels that people will judge him, or you will be judged, a feeling which will not matter in a few weeks. Seriously after a while you feel like love is everything - at that moment life is pure.

G-cox didnt see you like that kinda person.

akin_t

11-20-2005, 07:42 PM

I'm not getting inot dating till I move out, which is in about 1 and a half years. Until then, my mom does all the cooking and cleaning... Kidding.

But seriously, I don't want to have any kind of relationship before I can actually be serious about it. I'm not into casual sex, so high school relationships have pretty much no point for me. People say I'm missing out, but if STDs and teen pregnancies are their idea of "fun", I have no problem being boring. Besides, I'm not going to grace some random girl who I will forget two weeks later, with the glory of my body.

I decided too not to date until I get outta the house, my parents would make it difficult for me, I'm kinda picky when it comes to girls, I really hate those self absorbed ones (and it's a pity that most of them are my race) it's really hard to find a decent black chic to go out with, seriously they're rarer than the silver dollar

strydr

11-20-2005, 07:55 PM

akin_t and shael -

You guys shouldnt give up so quickly - i mean i only like serious relationships - i dont know how my friends can just play a girl one day and the next he is just normal.
Like you said it is kinda hard to find a genuine person these days - i cant believe that all that stuff is happening all the way in USA.
but for me, it is struggle to have a serious relationship, firstly if the girl lives too far and you dont have a car, it is just some game then, but if both of you want it so bad you should go for it. Go all out... with this person of course.
I mean you cant just sit back and let oppurtunities past you - for me i have always wanted to have that high school relationship - like in the animes.
good luck if you ever try, after all it is purely your choice ^__^

akin_t

11-20-2005, 10:29 PM

Don't get me wrong, I did have my fun in high school really nice relationship I had there; but ever since I moved to the US, it's just been hard to find another girl like the one I used to be with.

Shaehl

11-21-2005, 01:37 AM

If only I could acquire a female clone of mysefl... *Sigh*

Even if I did find someone I'd consider being serious with in high school, I couldn't make good on that intention till I move out. Plus, the quality of teenage girls nowadays is rather depressing. It's like that joke:

What's the difference between an average woman and a prositute?
The prostitute admits she's a ho.

Ok, that was harsh, but things are still pretty bad.

*Snow man*

11-21-2005, 02:23 AM

My girl is crazy she would not let me dance with a ohter girl at a club or so much as say hi to a old time pal I known before her every time I do Im cheating it's crazy.

cloudnine

11-21-2005, 02:28 AM

Trust fits in there.

If she trusts you not to go into anything serious, then there would be nothing wrong. I mean, you should be allowed and able to hug other girls, and say Hi without being accused.

You should talk to her about that.

Or not. Totally up to you.

Darren337

11-22-2005, 05:59 AM

chia pet - good luck!

Shaehl - ego issues.

akin_t - i think thats one of the problems guys have, we all try to find something familiar, so the next girl needs to be kinda like the last girl. near impossible, and actually a hinderance. my advice (which at the moment, im following too) is to let the girl find you.

snow man / cloudnine - trust is a HUGE thing.

snow man - if she cant trust you to say hi, how can you trust her to treat you fairly (she obviously isnt.)

cloudnine - there SHOULDNT be a problem, but some guys and girls go beyond protective or overprotective. they treat their signifigant other like a piece of property, or worse, a dog. sad story, seen it happen. pissed me off enough to break them up... turned out better for my friend.

strydr

11-22-2005, 11:44 AM

Trust is really big in relationships, but also a good amount of holding onto, cause else the girl/guy could feel as though they dont want them - like if a guy wanted to take my girlfriend away from me, i would fight for her, but at the same time give her the main choice.

Well it seems that for me, the more you dont see someone, the more you miss them and then there is a very thin line, but once you pass this line you kinda forget about the person. - that is what i am going through.
I feel as if i really wanted a girlfriend a few weeks ago, when i saw this girl i liked (Ra as some of you know her) for quite some time, i saw her after missing her for a long 3weeks without seeing her or speaking to her, but now it is exams and i havent seen her for about 3 weeks after seeing her once after the previous 3 weeks, i feel so far from her right now. Also what makes it worst is that i have found a better hobby, and since i got all this freedom, i dont know if i should fulfill my long last desire to have a relationship now, or start this holiday with a blast of my freedom, i dont mind either one, but i feel as i have faded from her... dunno if that is true though, but freedom is good though... now, in a few weeks it might not be.

SmallKid57

11-23-2005, 01:14 AM

uhh idk... do u luv her? if u luv her then go with her... if u really dont and just want a relationship go with freedom...

strydr

11-23-2005, 03:36 PM

i dont know about love yet, but ya i do like her a lot, still what i wanted in the first place was a relationship... but i still want her. maybe try reading previous threads of mine.

strydr

11-27-2005, 09:46 PM

Esedess

11-27-2005, 09:52 PM

hey - i am really scared. lately i have been thinkin way too much about love - and in such a way that i have been thinkin so hard about what it is that i have been questioning what it is to me.
People say that u know when u like someone, but for me i feel as if i dont know what it is supposed to feel like, all i know is that i wanna be happy and i wanna be with this girl - is that love??? or is it something i am trying to make myself feel - like creating some false feel of 'real' love - whatever that is???

basically i wanna know does anyone have something which will indicate to me that i really do like this person.

I was once told that love is being able to be happy for the person you love no matter who they're with, and supporting them even if it means they don't end up with you.

But, I could be wrong...

Love comes in all shapes and sizes and such. Mutual love is rare, but it can exist, it can be built. Questioning things is a good idea, but also talking it through with said person might be a good idea.

Perserverence. If you can persevere no matter what, than in my opinion it's love.

janti

11-27-2005, 11:33 PM

I had a relationshop once but i didn't have any orders so i went out of bussines >_>

That said, i have had a couple of relations two of which were long ones to my standards. One lasted a year and a month, the other seven months. I'm still coping with how the last one came to an end so now i'm just happy with one night stands :D

General Cox

11-27-2005, 11:47 PM

lol, just as long as you are happy with that, my relationship with my ex has taken a sudden turn for the chilly. they moan at us for being childish and then you tell them half jokingly to shut up and you dont hear a nice word in four days, double standards, i think so, will i rage or will i be calm? i dont have a clue yet, see how i feel when i see her tomorrow....

Darren337

11-28-2005, 08:32 AM

hey - i am really scared. lately i have been thinkin way too much about love - and in such a way that i have been thinkin so hard about what it is that i have been questioning what it is to me.
People say that u know when u like someone, but for me i feel as if i dont know what it is supposed to feel like, all i know is that i wanna be happy and i wanna be with this girl - is that love??? or is it something i am trying to make myself feel - like creating some false feel of 'real' love - whatever that is???

basically i wanna know does anyone have something which will indicate to me that i really do like this person.

my last love wasnt all i had hoped it to be, but i will say this using my last as my example.

when i was with her, my pain was a foot note on my day, my stresses were not to be found, and no matter what happened, i could usually just brush it off as if nothing had happened to piss me off. the feeling of absolute happiness i got from being with her was that... and i while i may be wrong, i would like to think that it was the closest thing to love i have experienced.

ElectrikDeath

12-01-2005, 12:58 AM

Hey, ok, I feel kind've pathetic for doing this, but I'm at ends here.

Ok, I've been dating this person for a while and things are great, but the only thing is, is that lately, when I'm around this person I feel kind've awkward, I mean, this person is like everything anyone would want. Hopefully this is just some stupid phase or something. I don't know, can anyone give me any advice?

Oh, and tomorrow, this person is comming over and meeting my parents for the first time....X_X I'm worried like crazy. Oh, and this person just happens to be a few years older, their like 17. XD, but I'm 15, and I told my parents that this person was 16. Ugh.

I need some advice to help me get through tomorrow and a lot of advice on how not to feel so awkard aroun them.

akin_t

12-01-2005, 02:58 AM

Why do you feel awkward? it's natural to have feelings toward someone, but I guess I would too if I was dating an older person, just try to be comfortable around them don't feel the need to say something clever/witty all the time or feel the need to be a very entertaining person (most guys make that mistake with girls). I wouldn't say you should be all out and be yourself though, sometimes it's best to start being yourself after you've gotten to know the person better (who knows? you may offend them somehow, you know with the things you might say or do)

And if your comfortable letting your parents know that you're seeing this person, then having the person over shouldn't be a problem just make sure you let him/her know the kind of things your parents might frown upon.

ElectrikDeath

12-01-2005, 03:07 AM

Well, I know that my parents will frown on most of my relationships, only because I date guys. I am comfortable enough for Josh to meet my parents, it's just I'm worried how my dad and step-mom will take it. They don't support me in being gay and they say that they'd rather have a straight son, but they love me anyways.

and maybe that's it, him being older, but I've had a realtionship with an older guy before, and he was older than Josh.

::EDIT::

Sorry if asking advice on a gay relationship, if you're like anti-gay or something, was weird.
Heh..

akin_t

12-01-2005, 03:32 AM

I'm not anti-gay, I just don't understand what guys might want from other guys, that being said, you're cool with me. Sorry about your parents not being more supportive :(. I'm not gay so I am no expert at understanding what'll make you feel less awkward around him, but It only makes sense that the foundations of a relationship should be the same, regardless of orientation so I guess I can be of little help (I think).

Alright, first of all don't try to impress anyone too fast, it kinda makes you look unconfident. Don't hide anything you like to do, like hobbies or how you spend your spare time from him in fears of what he might think of you (if you do this, you should feel more at ease with him). I'm sure I sound real stupid since I'm in no position to give advice but that's what i try to do if I feel so awkwardness with someone.

As for your parents, well I won't lie to you but their view isn't going to change so easily. I wouldn't know how to deal with them since I never confide in adults (even my own parents), but maybe someone else might be able to talk to them for you. Good luck man, just hope for the best (hope is a wonderful thing) things'll turn out fine (they always do)

Darren337

12-01-2005, 04:21 AM

Elec-D: so you're gay, so what? that doesnt make you any less worthy or priveliged to have a relationship. (a bit of a rant at the gay haters there). anyway if you're really nervous about the age diff and how your parents are gonna take you being gay, maybe you should spin this on them. i think its really insensitive for them to frown on your social developent just because you're gay. you should really ask them what it is they dont like. are they basing this on the fact that its not what theyre used to? (so what if its not...) are they worried youre gonna get aids? (rumored to be a gay disease... lies.) you really need to know WHY they feel this way, and as long as you inform your boyfriend "yeah my parents still dunno how to handle this" and... josh right? yeah as long as josh is coll with it, then its all good.

best of luck.

Cerpin Taxt

12-01-2005, 05:00 AM

Just got done talking to my ex on MSN

me:
part of me still wants u and the other part gets sick at the very thought of you
she says:
i couldnt even imagine it..i dont see why part of you could even want me..i feel soooo low
me:
at first i didnt really care
me:
but i cant get u off my mind
me:
and i feel like kickin those guys asses
she says:
ohh..well that wouldnt be a good idea
me:
oh ya why is that
she says:
cause you'd prolly kill them..and thats never good
me:
well thats kinda the point
she says:
yeah
she says:
do you still want to talk sometime?
me:
i dunno
me:
what do u want
she says:
i dont know either
me:
what kinda answer is that
she says:
its the truth..i have no idea what i want right now
me:
well talk to me when u get an idea
me:
bye
she says:
alright..but i have no idea how you feel..its hard to have an idea when i dont know what you want
she says:
cause if you want nothing to do with me..then its pointless what i think
me:
i want a girlfriend
me:
who will be loyal 2 me
she says:
i know...and you know i dont want a relationship right now
me:
ya cuz that might limit ur opprotunities to be a whore?
she says:
what? no that has nothing to do with it! i dont want anything serious but its not because i want more than one guy
me:
whats your definiton of serious
she says:
well..i dont know serious wasnt the right word there..i mean a declared relationship
she says:
like i just dont want anything right now until i figure things out..but i do still want to be friends..do you think we can do that?
she says:
my brother is kicking me off computer now..do you want to talk tomorrow?
me:
hold on
me:
tell him to stfu and wait
she says:
ok
me:
your not making sense...you dont want a "declared" relationship...which is nothing but a mere label...my mom thought we were datin...matt thought we were too...we couldve been dating and been the exact same except you couldve not cheated on me when i leave town...but u say the reason u dont want a relationship ISNT because u want more than one guy...wtf make up your mind there is no gray area here
she says:
thats the thing..when its labeled i get freaked out..that just happens with me..im sorry i guess i just am immature when it comes to that kind of thing..but i dont want to be in anything cause it will just make me want to leave...but i dunno..thats just me
me:
whatever
me:
i dont have time for your bullshit games
she says:
but hey..i have to go hes dumb and wont let me stay on..if you want to talk you should call me..if you dont then i guess we are done right?
she says:
im not trying to play a game..but i guess it seems that way
she says:
ill talk to you later..or not..i dont know

Blah...I think Im done with this *****.

akin_t

12-01-2005, 05:11 AM

Cerpin Taxt

12-01-2005, 05:28 AM

Whoa, I kinda like the way you deal with your chics taxt, lol. Well did she ever apologize for what she did? I think that'll be a good place to start.

I really don't know what girl wouldn't want a serious relationship, she's weird if you ask me

Yeah she did apologize a few days ago but I kinda overreacted and told her to burn in hell and stuff. She was supposed to come over today so we could talk about it like adults but when she called me earlier today I was a lil drunk so she didnt wanna come over.

She IS really weird, she was a virgin tell she met me, I changed that and went to Louisiana for a week and come back to find out she's ****ed like two other guys. I mustve created a monster or something, she's turned into a nympho. Ive met a few chicks that are really afraid of commitment like that. Insane they are. Not wanting a serious relationship is one thing, I was cool with that. We started our whole relationship as "friends with benefits". But when a girl is ****in around with 3 different guys at once that just makes her a whore, hence the reason I am done with her.

akin_t

12-01-2005, 05:41 AM

Cerpin Taxt

12-01-2005, 05:46 AM

Wow she sure is something, lol. I can't believe within a week 2 guys?! That's a no no for anyone right there. If I were in your shoes I guess I'd have made the same choice, I mean why commit if you're gonna be screwing around?
Thank goodness I haven't been cheated on yet, then again I haven't had a relationship with anyone for a while.

I hope it never happens to you man, its a terrible feeling. Its a huge blow to one's pride. I've been stuck in a funk all week and I cant seem to shake it off. Whats worse is I dunno where Im gonna find another girl as hot as her, Im not currently in school.

akin_t

12-01-2005, 05:56 AM

I hope it never happens to you man, its a terrible feeling. Its a huge blow to one's pride. I've been stuck in a funk all week and I cant seem to shake it off. Whats worse is I dunno where Im gonna find another girl as hot as her, Im not currently in school.

Yeah I figured it would hurt. Don't worry you'll find someone better I mean there's lot's of girls out there you won't even have to look real hard. You aren't in school? like you took time off? don't worry there's still lot's of places you'll be able to meet girls you just have to make sure you get one that's gf material and not slutty like most guys (well those not looking to settle down) would prefer.

714

12-01-2005, 06:00 AM

School is the best place after all ^_^ I know how you feel dude. I was with a girl once, then i broke up with her because i "suspected" foul play. Come a month later, she's all round and stuff, and im like wtf? And one of her friends says shes 3 months preg. And i say "But i'm still a virgin! O_o" You can guess what happens after that, lol.

Cerpin Taxt

12-01-2005, 06:00 AM

Yeah I figured it would hurt. Don't worry you'll find someone better I mean there's lot's of girls out there you won't even have to look real hard. You aren't in school? like you took time off? don't worry there's still lot's of places you'll be able to meet girls you just have to make sure you get one that's gf material and not slutty like most guys (well those not looking to settle down) would prefer.

I graduated and Im not starting college till next year. I'm thinkin about attending church just for the women, hahaha.

Darren337

12-01-2005, 06:01 AM

Cerpin:
i feel you are kind of both to blame there. you said "friends with benefits."

dangerous territory.

if you didnt seriously declare that it has become more than that, she may have thought it was ok. of course, in my opinion, you getting drunk and getting pissed at her for not having an answer to what she wants right now doesnt help the situation.

im not saying im siding with her. yes she did cheat while you were away, and of course thats messed up.

you need to decide what you want and then move from there.

do you want to be with her again? if so does it have to be now? does it REALLY matter that you HAVE to have a girlfriend? (im getting this vibe that you're in this "must have a girl" mindset)

i digress. if you want her, tell her. give yourself a time limit for which you will wait for an answer on the matter. make that time limit reasonable depending on the request you make of her. DONT TELL HER THAT YOU HAVE A TIME LIMIT. if she doesnt answer you by then, move on. its not worth the trouble after that.

forgive me if i sound cold, ive seen this far too many times to take it in stride any longer. it seems no one knows how to attempt to make a relationship work, and it irks me.