Relationship Thread

[Icestorm]

exactly if they want to do as they see fit, they will, but sometimes people want other peoples opinions on what they think they should do. Because relationships are normally a confusing time for both of the people and sometimes they need someone to help them sort through there emotions and help point them in the right direction. Its advice so the person that its given to, doesnt necessarily have to take it. We are just here to give that advice.

[MaskedDrifter]

Ok, whenever I try to talk to a girl. I fail miserably. Sometimes, I don't know what to say. Sometimes, I say the wrong thing. And other times, I get smacked or yelled at.

[Icestorm]

In what way do you mean talk to a girl? do you mean about liking the girl or just talking to the girl in general?

EDIT: I might be slow in replying, because im gonig out to lunch now

[Mizu no Kokoro]

hey icestorm^^ i can help out a bit too~

hm... maskeddrifter, what exactly do u say to them? give examples?

[MaskedDrifter]

Talking in general to a girl I like. I suck at it.

[Mizu no Kokoro]

examples? so i can analyze them^^

[MaskedDrifter]

Ok. Well usually I start off saying hi you know. Then I move in to how they are doing and what's up. But after that, I get scared. I cannot go any further. So I just watch them go and say to myself......I suck.

[Icestorm]

haha yeah Mizu you take over, i didnt mean to take the limelight :P we'll be a team :)

[Mizu no Kokoro]

icestorm: of course^^ lets take this one together!

masked: hm... well, it might come across as ur shy, but its nothing to be afraid of^^ some girls might think its sorta cute as long as u dont make strange noises or say something rude/perverted~ all u need is to imagine them as normal plp u talk to, maybe even just treat them like how u treat guys~ then slowly biuld up ur confidence^^

[MaskedDrifter]

Yeah that is another problem. My confidence. By the time it builds up enough, I am too late. They have either already found somebody or they don't want be with anybody. There was also a couple times I got smacked for no reason.....

[Mizu no Kokoro]

Yeah that is another problem. My confidence. By the time it builds up enough, I am too late. They have either already found somebody or they don't want be with anybody. There was also a couple times I got smacked for no reason.....

dude, u got smacked?? like all out smack or playful smack?

[MaskedDrifter]

Oh all-out. All I did was ask them if they wanted to do something later. And I get smacked. Why? I have no idea.....

[Icestorm]

Another good thing is a program known as MSN (you probly know it) either that or some other instant msg program, its easier to ask for there msn than there number. That way you can talk to them without having to meet them, you can become comfortable with there personality and vise-versa. That way it wont be so awkward chatting to them. They get to know you more and you get to know them more. So the next time you meet up, you will have things to talk about and the conversation wont go stale quickly.

[Mizu no Kokoro]

hm... i personally prefer face to face, but for ur case masked, it might be better to use msn or phone that way u wont get abused for no reason^^ lol~

[MaskedDrifter]

Hey, that works. I just need to fix my MSN up a bit.

[Mizu no Kokoro]

yay! glad we helped^^ great job icestorm!

[MaskedDrifter]

Yeah............cool.........now.........I guess........I gotta fix my MSN while I talk here....

[Icestorm]

haha im glad to see that I/We helped, ah the internet is there anything that it cant do? actually ill answer that! Mutate you into Bleach characters :(

[Mizu no Kokoro]

yoooo! adding u to buddylist icestorm k?

[Icestorm]

Thats Cool! Will do same

[Mizu no Kokoro]

awesomeness~~

[Icestorm]

o yeah btw add me to MSN if you use it, i always like to have a friendly chat

[MaskedDrifter]

I'll add you to mine as well icestorm. Mizu, you are already one mine.....

[Mizu no Kokoro]

lolz~ i'm so lazy~ u should add me to msn then^^

sweet_little_lies@hotmail.com

[MaskedDrifter]

All right, I'll do that. Add me as well.

edmundpoliks@hotmail.com

[Mizu no Kokoro]

lolz~ so, any more problems?

[Icestorm]

ehh dw we cant expect to solve the worlds problems in one day :P

[Mizu no Kokoro]

lol! although i wish i could!^^

[Shinomori]

General rules when talking to females:

1) Don't be an ass.

2) Don't comment on her ass.


Anything else is fair game. :D

[Icestorm]

yeah haha haha true true

[Mizu no Kokoro]

uh huh^^ hey icestorm~ srry i wasnt there when u talked to me on msn^^;; was washing dishes~><

[strydr]

aw... the story of u two coming together is one of the most complicated i ever heard^^; but the more u two go through the tighter ur friendship/love will be~ stydr, as long as u dont become too possessive and maybe once in a while take it slow, i think you two will be fine^^ it sounds like u have something quite unique with this girl~ and as a last note, do wat u believe is right in ur heart, anything said by other plp dont mean a single thing because deep down, u already noe the answers to ur own question~ so trust urself to make the right moves, since confidence is one thing girls tend to be attracted to~
lol, i hope that all made sense^-^

Yeah i think thats exactly what i was getting at, In the end its all up to you and believe it or not you may already know the answer to the question and if you dont it will come to you with time, not everything happens fast but most likely it will happen and in that split second of an instant you'll know the answer. Give it some time and the rewards will be far better than jumping the gun.

Also i think defining the word love is hard for anyone because, the feeling of love is different for everyone and it may be different for you, i know its hard at this stage and you ask the question "but what is love?" but I think the answer is that in the end you'll know that feeling and in your own way you'll experience it. But for us to try to explain what exactly it is, would be poor showmanship on our behalf because u may experience it differently and not reconise it by the way we explained it.

thanx a lot... i think that u guys r right, maybe i am just trying to rush something that shouldnt be rushed... and maybe time itself will tell, what is gonna happen. Plus i hate forcing things upon people cause both parties feel awkward. So thanx again to u guys + thief.13 - saw ur post too.
Bi Bi.

[Mizu no Kokoro]

^^np! see u around strydr

[Icestorm]

Glad to help strydr, haha thats cool Mizu

[Mizu no Kokoro]

^^ waiting to give more advice^^

[thief.13]

Oh all-out. All I did was ask them if they wanted to do something later. And I get smacked. Why? I have no idea.....
maybe you asked too soon. :)
and don't talk too much about school, there was this guy i used to like and we used to study math together. but then he kept asking my how i was doing in my exams and stuff, i got really annoyed i stopped talking to him.

[Darren337]

While advice isi being given, I'm also seeing a lot of one line posts that generally can be left out

"awesomeness" and things like that. This is a warning to this thread, any further spamming will result in 24 bans on anyone who leaves a useless or irrelevant post (which isn't all that hard to enforce because all I have to do is check everything after this post... hmmm).

[strydr]

Hey! bleachers... wanted to tell you what i need help with right now.

I think i have said this before but just wanted to know again... or get new advice maybe.

My girlfriend and I have liked each other for a year but only are a couple now, like for two months now... in the other time when we werent a couple we never did anything physical, just got to know each other a lot... now its like we've known each other for so long, that talking isnt enought - not that i dont like it, i just think that we need to take the next step into the relationship... but is two months too quick for a first kiss or first cheek kiss... cause i really wanted this one to be for a long time and i think by making this move it will make things later less exciting... but i dont mind kissing her (blushes)... ya. lol.
so tell me what i should do, or maybe what u would do>> tanx a lot.
Ameen, aka. the sTrYdR.

[ade.hell]

Yeach, that's, what told me my best friend...
But I've never met anyone who would be interested in me in internet... so maybe I'm not interesting?...

So depressing...

[Pipp-ORK]

Ade.Hell, if you're referring to online relationships, they almost NEVER work, and the chances of actually knowing that person is slim to none. :P Not to say that it can't happen, though; my friend's aunt recently married a guy she met online, but....

STRYDR- Well, if you think that you're not moving too fast, then you're PROBABLY not. You should talk with her about it, though; and see what she thinks about your relationship.

[thief.13]

yeah , the best thing is to talk to her bout it.

[Darren337]

strydr: i let the girl set the pace, so if she gives the OK, then its all you.

[strydr]

strydr: i let the girl set the pace, so if she gives the OK, then its all you.

Ya, we kinda discussed it, and we are both pace makers - so its cool now, cause she would ask me "can i hold your arm?"
But we both kinda shy, and i take kinda long to move along, cause it takes long for me to build up courage to do something physical.
but thanx, it seems that she is ok with the pace of the relationship, cause i called her yesterday to ask, but i gotta get ready for school. so ill write more later. c ya bleachers.

[WizKid77]

... I would really like some advice, but the story is really long and very complicated. Eh I dunno. It's so ridicoulous. She's like sending me mixed signals now about everything. Crazy girl. Anyway, if anyone thinks they can help me, let me know then I'll have 2 type out a novel. gah.

[strydr]

... I would really like some advice, but the story is really long and very complicated. Eh I dunno. It's so ridicoulous. She's like sending me mixed signals now about everything. Crazy girl. Anyway, if anyone thinks they can help me, let me know then I'll have 2 type out a novel. gah.

hey, this is the relationship thread... type out the story, so that we can help.

[aezirka]

strydr's right. post away. i'm new to this thread, but i'd gladly give advice.

[WizKid77]

Alright. I first met this girl at orientation, we hit it off pretty good. The begining of last semester we were acted as though we were practically together and hooked up a couple of times. She goes home for a weekend, comes back and avoids me for like a week and a half. Turns out she got a boyfriend that weekend. Yeah that sucked a lot. Hurt too. Nothing really happend the rest of that semester. Hung out with her a couple of times over break with other friends. Not much really happened but she started to hug me tightly for a while every now and then, which she hasn't done since the beginning of the last semester. Ok what-ever. Come back to school for this semester things we're pretty good again. Long hugs, holding hands, cuddling. You know that stuff. So I figured she broke up with her boyfriend, so I asked her out. She's still with him, but he's moving to Montreal and that's obviously not going to work since we're in NY. She said she's going to stay with him till he moves, "I owe him that much". So yeah pretty much means we'll go out when he moves away. That was 3 days ago when we had that conversation. Next day, we still did the cuddling stuff though. And we kissed, but we both felt bad cause she's still with that guy. Yesterday, is the day that confused the hell out of me. She was like giving me like mixed signals like 'I want you to kiss me' and the next second was like 'I hope he's not going to kiss me' and it happened a bunch of times. So yeah I don't know wtf she wants me to do anymore. And yeah does anyone have any advice that would help me out her.

[thief.13]

stop. i'm starting to hate her. she's playing with you, that's what. and who knows she might do the same thing to you when you get to be her boyfriend. really what does she think you are? a plaything?someone she has fun with when her boyfriend's not around. but hey, if you're not too serious with her and it's all cool with you then go...

[aezirka]

If the girl really likes you and cares for you, she wouldn't be two-timing and playing with your mind. Like thief said, she might do the same thing to you if you become her official boyfriend. Almost the same thing happened to me before, except the guy was wooing someone else and telling me he likes me. I decided to forget that guy, and I think you should rethink your feelings for her, too.

I see you really care about her. That's great. But if you're getting hurt like that, I don't think she's worth all the feelings you have for her. This is my opinion, but I don't think it's worth waiting for her current boyfriend to move away. If she really cares for you and feels the same way you feel for her, then she would have broken up with the other guy before and stayed with you.

[Icestorm]

I think the best option in this kind of situation is to give it to her straight.. like say" is it me that you really want?" force her to make a decision, because if you dont its going to go like this a cycle of emotions that will end up tying you up in knots of emotions and feelings that you wont be able to distiguish from eachother. You'll probly enventually become depressed and despair, i think its better that you jump on it now and stop it before you begin to think she's for real and ask her that question.. "are you serious with me?" but i suppose you gotta ask yourself the question do you want to get serious with this girl or is it another fling, and if you do will she do the same thing she did to her last bf?

[aezirka]

Very good advice icestorm32.

I forgot to add that you should really not forget that there may be someone else for you. If things don't work out with her, there is always hope for a better relationship next time. :)

[strydr]

Alright. I first met this girl at orientation, we hit it off pretty good. The begining of last semester we were acted as though we were practically together and hooked up a couple of times. She goes home for a weekend, comes back and avoids me for like a week and a half. Turns out she got a boyfriend that weekend. Yeah that sucked a lot. Hurt too. Nothing really happend the rest of that semester. Hung out with her a couple of times over break with other friends. Not much really happened but she started to hug me tightly for a while every now and then, which she hasn't done since the beginning of the last semester. Ok what-ever. Come back to school for this semester things we're pretty good again. Long hugs, holding hands, cuddling. You know that stuff. So I figured she broke up with her boyfriend, so I asked her out. She's still with him, but he's moving to Montreal and that's obviously not going to work since we're in NY. She said she's going to stay with him till he moves, "I owe him that much". So yeah pretty much means we'll go out when he moves away. That was 3 days ago when we had that conversation. Next day, we still did the cuddling stuff though. And we kissed, but we both felt bad cause she's still with that guy. Yesterday, is the day that confused the hell out of me. She was like giving me like mixed signals like 'I want you to kiss me' and the next second was like 'I hope he's not going to kiss me' and it happened a bunch of times. So yeah I don't know wtf she wants me to do anymore. And yeah does anyone have any advice that would help me out her.


like thief and aezirka said, she's playing her boyfriend already by kissing you - and thats really crap... unless you are official you cant say much and you dont have much of a say with what she does - if she's giving you mixed signals, maybe you should do the opposite of what she signals - like "kiss me" - then just walk away. but i always try to see the good in things - so maybe she's playing her boyfriend with you because she really likes you, but waiting for her boyfriend to leave so that it can be official... ya. but you have to say that girl is playing you - but if you dont intend to be her boyfriend and just want to have a little fun then go for it - cause it definitely sounds that she wants you in that way... i say go for what u want - may that be a relationship - just all i say, be honest about your feelings and tell her that you want her to be honest too... if she doesnt like you anymore its something you have to accept and she would have to accept that too - she's not gonna be with you - then you gotta move on... else be the best boyfriend so she wouldnt need to cheat you with another - u also got school together which is really good, cause then you can be the best boyfriend always!
tell me if you want more advice on something or just dont understand what i have written cause i get that a lot... See ya.
sTrYdR

[thief.13]

the fact that she's inconsistent in her treatment with him tells me that she's not serious.

[Icestorm]

Thanks aezirka

But also remember this is only advice so you dont exactly have to follow it, just go with what you think is right, what you feel is right. If it turns out bad, you can surely find another girl that would treat you
better.

[WizKid77]

Wow, thanks a lot everyone. I've been thinkin about calling her out all of this and you know what I'm going to do just that. You're all right that what she is doing is pretty messed up either way you look at it. We'll see what happens.
Thanx again Thief, Aezirka, Icestorm, and Strydr.

[aezirka]

No problem wizkid. Glad to be of help!

[WizKid77]

I'll let you guys know how it goes, alrite.

[aezirka]

That would be great. Thanks for trusting us enough.

[Darren337]

my friend went thru the hell of letting a girl like that walk all over him. of course he didnt see it as walking all over him until it was already too late. when he finally walked away and started dating other girls, she came running back to him, wanting him, needing him oh so bad (sad really).

of course he was already free of her spell and he denied her. which is why i say walk away now if she doesnt play it straight with you.

[Icestorm]

Glad to help anyone, anywhere, anysituation for i am ... THE LOVE DOCTOR! lol kidding

[strydr]

hey u guys, just to tell you that my relationship is going really well, thanx a lot for the advice.
Just wanted to ask this question cause i dont know if its healthy.
My girlfriend used to go clubbing a lot, but in our religion that is not allowed, but she is a rebel... and i am a very morally strong person, i always stand up for what is right - but i obviously have my times of being a rebel... but i asked her earlier, she said that she doesnt club anymore cause its wrong but primarily cause i said it, but i feel as if i am supressing her growth as a person, which was the reason for me being scared of getting into a relationship with a young girl, it would make her grow up differently... but i dont know right now, it seems that i may have done a bad thing in this girls path to growth, or maybe a good deed by leading her onto a more "right" path?? i have to think that i have done something bad.

[aezirka]

Strydr, this is my own personal opinion. I think what you're doing is right. I don't think you are suppressing her growth, because if there is anything that makes a person grow more, it is the person's values and morals. You reminded her of the morals that maybe she forgot before and that is a great thing. Morals are there to guide a person and since you reminded her of those, she has something to guide her while she grows in the right way. I applaud you for doing that. It's rare for boys/men nowadays to stick to morals and influence other people to do the same. But you still do and I hope you continue to do so. :)

[Icestorm]

Im Very glad to hear that strydr
well its a well known fact strydr that in relationships you have to make sacrifices and if she likes you enough that kind of sacrifice wouldnt matter that much to her, but if its still troubling you perhaps you should ask her whether it really bothers her that much? Then you can either let your mind to rest or rethink some things.

[Mizu no Kokoro]

hey u guys, just to tell you that my relationship is going really well, thanx a lot for the advice.
Just wanted to ask this question cause i dont know if its healthy.
My girlfriend used to go clubbing a lot, but in our religion that is not allowed, but she is a rebel... and i am a very morally strong person, i always stand up for what is right - but i obviously have my times of being a rebel... but i asked her earlier, she said that she doesnt club anymore cause its wrong but primarily cause i said it, but i feel as if i am supressing her growth as a person, which was the reason for me being scared of getting into a relationship with a young girl, it would make her grow up differently... but i dont know right now, it seems that i may have done a bad thing in this girls path to growth, or maybe a good deed by leading her onto a more "right" path?? i have to think that i have done something bad.

I think its great that ur taking the time to consider her well being~ in the end its up to u to choose whether somethings serious enough to have u interfere. its true that u shouldnt suppress her too much, but at the same time ur caring enough to know what will help her as a person. I personally think u havent done anything bad, since she willingly accepted ur advice and suggestion to not go clubbing. sometimes u have to let go and give her some space, some distance to develop as her individual person and not who u want her to be, and other times u have to be there to help her 'see' beyond her own comprehention. i guess thats mostly wat a relationship is about~ to be there for each other, to guide each other, but at the same time sustain ur own individuality and keep some space... remember that u cant control her, nor she control u~ reaching that mutual understanding is difficult~ but a goal worth striving for.

[thief.13]

hey u guys, just to tell you that my relationship is going really well, thanx a lot for the advice.
Just wanted to ask this question cause i dont know if its healthy.
My girlfriend used to go clubbing a lot, but in our religion that is not allowed, but she is a rebel... and i am a very morally strong person, i always stand up for what is right - but i obviously have my times of being a rebel... but i asked her earlier, she said that she doesnt club anymore cause its wrong but primarily cause i said it, but i feel as if i am supressing her growth as a person, which was the reason for me being scared of getting into a relationship with a young girl, it would make her grow up differently... but i dont know right now, it seems that i may have done a bad thing in this girls path to growth, or maybe a good deed by leading her onto a more "right" path?? i have to think that i have done something bad.

by the sound of it, you didnt really force her to do anything she doesnt want to and i think she stopped clubbing out of her own volition. so you;re not really suppressing her. there is definitely nothing wrong with reminding your significant other about morals and stuff as long as you do not IMPOSE.

[WizKid77]

I talked to her last night about everything that's been going on. Honestly I don't think it really changed anything at all. She's unsure what's going on with us and her bf moves in a month. (I also just realized they've been together for 7 months now) :sadd: She wants me to start talking about myself more (it's kind of hard cause I honestly don't know myself sometimes) and she doesn't really talk about herself either. I never really know what to say about myself, I'm kind of modest I guess. I opened up a lot when we were talking (which is sometimes hard for me). If she didn't have a bf, she said we would probably be going out already. That's nice to know, but it really doesn't change anything either.:sad:

So yeah it seems like I don't know, nothing changed from talking to her. So once again, I don't know what to do...:confused:

[thief.13]

I talked to her last night about everything that's been going on. Honestly I don't think it really changed anything at all. She's unsure what's going on with us and her bf moves in a month. (I also just realized they've been together for 7 months now) :sadd: She wants me to start talking about myself more (it's kind of hard cause I honestly don't know myself sometimes) and she doesn't really talk about herself either. I never really know what to say about myself, I'm kind of modest I guess. I opened up a lot when we were talking (which is sometimes hard for me). If she didn't have a bf, she said we would probably be going out already. That's nice to know, but it really doesn't change anything either.:sad:
So yeah it seems like I don't know, nothing changed from talking to her. So once again, I don't know what to do...:confused:
i think maybe because you didnt talk about THE subject you're sposed to talk to. you were sposed to talk about where she wants you relationship to go...be strong, man!
i know it can be hard when she acts all sweet and attentive, but it's one of the female powers you have to contend with.

[WizKid77]

I asked her "what's going on between us?" And she kind of brushed it aside by sayin "I don't know" and then brought up the other stuff I already talked about.

[thief.13]

pretty sneaky if you ask me.she's dangerous with all those feminine tactics. *sigh!* i wish i'm as good as her. ;)
but seriously, you should be firm.dont let yourself get trampled like that! i think she's a deceptively strong girl. and i can see there's good reason why you're attracted to her. but think about yourself too.

[akin_t]

Seriously, just leave her alone; there are other girls out there - to be honest with you she is not taking you seriously at all. She might just put you aside when someone else comes along - I can tell from the way she's behaving; I mean, she's technically not single and she's bound to flirt again in another commited relationship.

[thief.13]

you cant just leave her alone. there should be proper closure. of course, there's no doubt they should end it. but i suggest, seious talk first.not good making amgibuous relationships with ppl. like bridges half-burnt...

[akin_t]

Well I will tell you what I think - I feel you shouldn't bother with her; unless of course you just want to hit it and quit. If you just want to get physical with her than go for it.

However, if you're looking for a relationship you should look elsewhere. This girl is going to cheat on you. I mean, she's already shown you that she doesn't commit very well ... isn't she still in a relationship?

Just ignore her for a while, if she seriously wants to be with you like she says then she'll talk to you about it. IMO she just wants someone to cuddle while her boyfriend is away.

[thief.13]

dont get physical with someone who you're not intending to be involved seriously, that's not good in my opinion.

[akin_t]

Well some people don't fall in love indiscriminately, and not getting physical with someone who is willing because you don't love them doesn't make much sense to me. I mean, if she/he knows that you do not love them and they feel the same way about you but are willing to get physical, why not?

[thief.13]

that's pretty... primal and, forgive the term, barbaric.

[akin_t]

Well I'll let you know that I'm not guilty of what I'm suggesting, it's just that some people do not happen to share the same morals as I do (an example would be the girl in question), and if both parties see nothing wrong with it, then they should do what they want. Who am I to teach what is right and wrong? After all, people see things differently.

If he gets involved with this girl ... maybe they might get physical (I'm not really sure what she wants exactly, as she doesn't appear physically attracted to him just yet), and maybe not. Either way, she won't stay with him very long - I mean, she doesn't even respect this guy.

[Icestorm]

i agree perhaps play a cold part for a little while, if shes serious she will make the effort to try and continue to contact you and talk to you.. if she doesnt then you should probly look elsewhere for a serious relationship. O yeah a btw what is the point in the end of a physical only relationship, in the when its all said and done what do you get out of it? nothing i say

[thief.13]

agrees with icestorm and will add you to my buddy list for that (if you dnt mind...)

[akin_t]

@ Icestorm: Well the primary reason for physical relationships is pleasure. Sure, they hold no water against a real relationship.

Nevertheless, forgive me for saying this, but it is the truth - Wizkid this is unrequited love. I think she just wants a substitute for the time being. So far I can't see any signs of her really taking what you two supposedly have serious, I mean, she doesn't even want to discuss it.

You'll only get frustrated with this girl, look elsewhere.

[thief.13]

YOU decide, Wizkid. after all, we're only here to counsel,and what it all comes down to is what YOU do about it. if you can, maybe you can take a look around,maybe some other nicer girl likes you and just cant open up coz you're still 'hung up' on this other girl...(a very nice story...:))

[Icestorm]

yeah sure thief go ahead. Perhaps he should still give it some time in the process i think he should wait it out a bit see what happens if in a while nothing seems to be improving look elsewhere but i think people can change and if she really likes you, you'll probly see it. But if she acts in the same way i dont think u can trust her. Force her to make a decision or it just wont happen. But as i said before i think u should play it cold for a little, you gotta be strong to do this but its for the best, if she really cares she'll seek you out.

[thief.13]

actually, it's a double edged sword if he starts noticing some other girl although CAREFUL not to mislead the other girl too. this could give that cheating girl a lil competition and pressure so thatshe can decide what she rEALLY wants from Wiz...whatcha think?

[akin_t]

yeah sure thief go ahead. Perhaps he should still give it some time in the process i think he should wait it out a bit see what happens if in a while nothing seems to be improving look elsewhere but i think people can change and if she really likes you, you'll probly see it. But if she acts in the same way i dont think u can trust her. Force her to make a decision or it just wont happen. But as i said before i think u should play it cold for a little, you gotta be strong to do this but its for the best, if she really cares she'll seek you out.

Yeah, I agree. I think it would be better to wait it out, but realisticly speaking I don't see a change. Then again that's just me.

People don't generally take advice anyway, they go ahead and do what they want to. Hope it turns out for the best with you Wizkid

[Icestorm]

well it depends on what wiz thinks because if he really likes this girl he may just turn her away by doing that (trust me its happened to me before) so he has gotta go out on a limb in this situation. The milder action would be what i said but that has a less chance of working but what thief said is risky in ways so depends what you wanna do wiz.

[akin_t]

Don't give her an ultimatum, she will just see you as bossy and write you off for now. Let her give you an answer at her own pace, girls aren't into guys who are too demanding.

[thief.13]

i wasnt saying he gives her an ultimatum, i said maybe hestarts noticing other girls too...that's different...

[akin_t]

i wasnt saying he gives her an ultimatum, i said maybe hestarts noticing other girls too...that's different...

I can swear I read: "force her to make a decision" .. oh well, in that case don't do that then, and yeah you shouldn't get bogged down on one person it's never worth it - there's always someone more compatible

[thief.13]

I can swear I read: "force her to make a decision" .. oh well, in that case don't do that then, and yeah you shouldn't get bogged down on one person it's never worth it - there's always someone more compatible

there's verbal and nonverbal communication.please do read carefully...

[Icestorm]

yeah anways good luck wiz, update us on the situation if anything happens

[akin_t]

there's verbal and nonverbal communication.please do read carefully...

I don't know what you're talking about, I misread your post is all ...

[thief.13]

whatever, i read back the posts and didnt find what you quoted.okay we're veering from the topic at hand now. so GOOD LUCK Wiz! hope you be whiz enough to make the right decision for you...

[WizKid77]

Thanks a lot everyone. Wow you all have really good advice. I'll keep you posted on how the situation works out. I already know playing it too cold would be bad, but if I'm a lil cold it may just work out. Also lookin for other girls is perfectly not a bad idea. Well what I'm gonna do is just wait it out and see what happens. I mean really, what's the worse that could happen?

[Icestorm]

agreed, time is always a good thing in a relationship

[strydr]

What do you do when your feelings for someone fades... because i for some reason feel as though my feelings for my girlfriend are fading, but i think its because i havent spent quality time with her since last sunday - which was really great, but during the holidays i felt everyday that it was my mission to see her, now school has become a little important, so i speak to her like once a day over the phone... but i saw her for about 10 minutes on wednesday, what do i do, cause i dont think i am gonna see her this weekend too - we both got pretty busy schedules, so tonight - saturnight - would be the only night i could see her, and i got family at home, so i cant go out... i am scared that my feelings are gonna fade...???

[conan_xp]

Then you should schedule sometime to meet eachother somehow or talk to eachother over phone and MSN more, since caring and spending time with one and another is an important part of a relationship.

[strydr]

What do you do when your feelings for someone fades... because i for some reason feel as though my feelings for my girlfriend are fading, but i think its because i havent spent quality time with her since last sunday - which was really great, but during the holidays i felt everyday that it was my mission to see her, now school has become a little important, so i speak to her like once a day over the phone... but i saw her for about 10 minutes on wednesday, what do i do, cause i dont think i am gonna see her this weekend too - we both got pretty busy schedules, so tonight - saturnight - would be the only night i could see her, and i got family at home, so i cant go out... i am scared that my feelings are gonna fade...???

[CardboardTubeSamurai]

Sometimes feelings fade...That's just the way it goes you know? Nothing you can do about it if it's just the way you feel. If your feelings fading is a result of you two not spending time together, then don't worry; your old feelings will return once you can be together more often. If your not spending time together is a result of your fading feelings, then you are just falling out of love with her.

[WizKid77]

Sometimes feelings fade...That's just the way it goes you know? Nothing you can do about it if it's just the way you feel. If your feelings fading is a result of you two not spending time together, then don't worry; your old feelings will return once you can be together more often. If your not spending time together is a result of your fading feelings, then you are just falling out of love with her.
Yeah he pretty much just summed everything up. Once you see her again I bet everything would be fine again.

[strydr]

Yeah he pretty much just summed everything up. Once you see her again I bet everything would be fine again.

i hope you guys are right, cause i "forgot" to call her cause i was really seriously busy - where a few weeks ago, i felt as tho i needed to drop everything tocall her and find out how it was that day.
She's going to a wedding tomorrow, and i am gonna study - so we wont see each other this weekend, and the week is school priority, but we usually meet on wednesday in secret.
i just hope i get to see her soon... its not like i forget her stuff, just that i tend to do other things instead of calling her.

[Icestorm]

dont worry strydr my friend, it happens sometimes and as they said once you see her again your feeling will be reignited, its happened to me before, so dont give it much thought

[strydr]

dont worry strydr my friend, it happens sometimes and as they said once you see her again your feeling will be reignited, its happened to me before, so dont give it much thought

the whole reigniteing thing i like, but i dont think i am gonna see her till wednesday, maybe not even then, i just hope that u guys are right about the igniting... else i am doomed, for this relationship... but i feel the flame burning still inside me, so i hope it burns brighter tonight

[thief.13]

well, being in a relationship is not just about feeling good,you also have to work at it. AND while you're a couple, you also happen to be two different individuals and your lives just doesnt revolve around each other. so i think, time is not really the problem here coz you have other priorities too. i think you just need to MANAGEyour schedule better so you can njoy your relationship together and still live a well-balanced life...

[Lenne]

Heres a question: When do u think in life is it most suitable to be in a realtionship?

[Raven-Hat]

Well, that really depends... I know 13 and 14 year olds having BF/GF sorta thing. I think that's way too young.... But, that's just my opinion.

I think, 15... starting to interest in guys, than 16, that would be a good age... I think... that's sort of a weird question though. :-p

[Icestorm]

i agree but i think it depends on the type of relationship it is..

[Raven-Hat]

True, if it would be sexually, or just starting. Small kisses... etc..

[strydr]

well, when u 13,14,15 u always tend to not be serious about relationships, so its not actually "love" but when u get into a serious mode about relationships, its kinda at da age of about 16,17,18 - after that its all about what you want, that actually makes it real love, else you are just playing games... and that isnt right.
but here is my question...

Well, what if you are going out with someone you could potentially marry, but you guys are way too young ( i am 17 and she is 15 ) so now i want to be with this person, but when we this young it makes no sense... we cant marry. so... what do you do??

[akin_t]

well, when u 13,14,15 u always tend to not be serious about relationships, so its not actually "love" but when u get into a serious mode about relationships, its kinda at da age of about 16,17,18 - after that its all about what you want, that actually makes it real love, else you are just playing games... and that isnt right.
but here is my question...

Well, what if you are going out with someone you could potentially marry, but you guys are way too young ( i am 17 and she is 15 ) so now i want to be with this person, but when we this young it makes no sense... we cant marry. so... what do you do??

Look, I think you're just head over heels, I can't say so much about this because I've never been deeply in love as you seem to be.

What I do know is that, a relationship should not be the highlight of your life at this point; Not to burst any bubbles, but you will most likely not end up marrying the girl you are seeing now.

What do you do, you ask? well at your age, a relationship is the closest thing to marriage you will get, and you already have that.

Alright, I think a safe age to date someone would probably be 15, at that age you should have enough experience with the opposite sex to have a steady relationship. Well maybe that only applies to guys, as many girls at 18 still don't know how to deal with guys *shakes head*

[WizKid77]

Look, I think you're just head over heels, I can't say so much about this because I've never been deeply in love as you seem to be.
What I do know is that, a relationship should not be the highlight of your life at this point; Not to burst any bubbles, but you will most likely not end up marrying the girl you are seeing now.
What do you do, you ask? well at your age, a relationship is the closest thing to marriage you will get, and you already have that.
Alright, I think a safe age to date someone would probably be 15, at that age you should have enough experience with the opposite sex to have a steady relationship. Well maybe that only applies to guys, as many girls at 18 still don't know how to deal with guys *shakes head*
lol yeah Akin_T pretty much summed up every little thing I wanted to comment about. I think the earliest that you would be with a person that you may potentially marry would be college years. The whole high school sweet heart is just so rare that I tend to not even believe it exists really. Sorry strydr for being so blunt about it as well. But hey what do I know, I could be wrong...

[strydr]

lol yeah Akin_T pretty much summed up every little thing I wanted to comment about. I think the earliest that you would be with a person that you may potentially marry would be college years. The whole high school sweet heart is just so rare that I tend to not even believe it exists really. Sorry strydr for being so blunt about it as well. But hey what do I know, I could be wrong...

ok ok, i know what you guys are saying, that i am head over heels in love with this girl, cause i am thinkin about marriage, but what i am actually saying is this is someone that i could potentially marry, cause she is kinda the perfect person for me... (i know) i may just be head over heels, but i cant deny the fact that she someone i could see myself marrying - and then you said about meeting a girl in college is someone you could end up marrying - which i know is true, but that is one of my questions, cause if this relationship gets boring, cause we immature, then the relationship will forever be remembered as boring - she might not want to see me again... so do you break it off now and kinda deny your feelings, hurting yourself and the girl or do you just go on with it in the hope that everything lasts...
I know people say that if you guys are meant to be then you'll end up together... but what the hell, i know how it is when it comes to these relationships... so... what do you do??

[Icestorm]

strydr my friend, continue it is my advice, you have everything to lose but also everything to gain.. does what u gain outweigh what u lose? i think so..

[WizKid77]

We'll that's thing. You never know what will happens sometimes. Of coarse you shouldn't just break up with her over the fear of something like that. You have to hope everything works out in the end. That's all. I mean the whole high school sweet heart thing is rare I said, but it does happen every now and then.

[thief.13]

before thinking about marriage you gotta find a job first so you can support your family. so the immediate concern right now for a person your age is that goal. if you guys really love each other, you can wait.and if it's the real thing it can stand the test of time...
my parents were going steady when they were sixteen(they were high school classmates), they only got married at 24...

[strydr]

before thinking about marriage you gotta find a job first so you can support your family. so the immediate concern right now for a person your age is that goal. if you guys really love each other, you can wait.and if it's the real thing it can stand the test of time...
my parents were going steady when they were sixteen(they were high school classmates), they only got married at 24...

i know what u mean, cause its in my culture to support your family... wife i meant. so i know that i gotta study still... but just bearing in mind what you want after that you know.
I dont think about marriage, cause i am only 17 but still i tend to date people who i think would be a right partner for marriage - - - its a family thing, dont ask, its a family curse - lol... thats why i asked.

I really miss my girlfriend... she told me via sms that some guy tried to get her alone on saturday night, but she listened to me and ended up not going to the place. but what do you do if you cant be there all the time to protect your girlfriend and she could be harrassed... i dont wanna go around beating up guys, cause thats not me - i am a lover not a fighter - i dont know what to do?? i trust my girlfriend entirely - i know she wont cheat on me, so i am not worried about her case... just that the fact that someone might wanna mess around with her, and in my country rape is really common, and i am really scared that she might get hurt when i am not around... what do you do??

[Darren337]

I really miss my girlfriend... she told me via sms that some guy tried to get her alone on saturday night, but she listened to me and ended up not going to the place. but what do you do if you cant be there all the time to protect your girlfriend and she could be harrassed... i dont wanna go around beating up guys, cause thats not me - i am a lover not a fighter - i dont know what to do?? i trust my girlfriend entirely - i know she wont cheat on me, so i am not worried about her case... just that the fact that someone might wanna mess around with her, and in my country rape is really common, and i am really scared that she might get hurt when i am not around... what do you do??

you dont always have to protect her. yes you care and she knows that, but know that protecting her all the time is not protecting her, that is sheltering, and that will most likely cause her to push you away. it reminds me of Cowboy Bebop, Jet's girlfriend left him because he would always do everything for her, protect her all the time, etc.. make sure you dont go too far with protecting her ok?

[strydr]

well... i got this explanation for what i am feeling... u know they say "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" - well my heart has grown and is filled with fondness for the one i love... now i dont feel the absence... which is bad, cause its as if i dont care that much... and i want to care. I havent seen her for a week, and we kinda see each other at least once a week for definite each week, but we had messed up schedules... so i miss her (so pathetic), but why is it that i feel as if i dont care wether i see her or not anymore.

you dont always have to protect her.
i know what you mean, but if she gets raped or abused, why wasnt i there to protect her??? i am her guardian... or so i think. if a guy messes with her, what do i do about it??

[akin_t]

well... i got this explanation for what i am feeling... u know they say "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" - well my heart has grown and is filled with fondness for the one i love... now i dont feel the absence... which is bad, cause its as if i dont care that much... and i want to care. I havent seen her for a week, and we kinda see each other at least once a week for definite each week, but we had messed up schedules... so i miss her (so pathetic), but why is it that i feel as if i dont care wether i see her or not anymore.


i know what you mean, but if she gets raped or abused, why wasnt i there to protect her??? i am her guardian... or so i think. if a guy messes with her, what do i do about it??

*shakes head* you're contradicting yourself (The Bolded text); anyway, I think you are saying that your not as fond of her anymore ... but you really want to ...

Well what matters is that your love for this girl is fading away, simple and short. If you feel seeing her would reignite it, then you should both set a date to get together and hang out for a bit. Your schedules could at least manage an hour I should assume.

Anyway, you should try talking to her on the phone first, if that doesn't help then try to see her ASAP.

Now if that still doesn't reignite your feelings, then sorry to break it to you but ... you do not love this girl anymore.

If that's the case, try to remember what made you attracted to her in the first place, try to simulate those scenarios ... you know probably a place you guys visited, or a movie you both saw ... I don't know, but that should help. I've never felt the way you do, feelings fading and hoping they'll come back, but I hope I helped a little.

Oh and yeah, about the whole protecting her thing ...
I don't know what South Africa is like but, chances are she isn't going to get raped like that.

Protect her when you're by her side, but you shouldn't monitor her like she's a felon - give her some space.

[strydr]

*shakes head* you're contradicting yourself (The Bolded text); anyway, I think you are saying that your not as fond of her anymore ... but you really want to ...

Well what matters is that your love for this girl is fading away, simple and short. If you feel seeing her would reignite it, then you should both set a date to get together and hang out for a bit. Your schedules could at least manage an hour I should assume.

Anyway, you should try talking to her on the phone first, if that doesn't help then try to see her ASAP.

Now if that still doesn't reignite your feelings, then sorry to break it to you but ... you do not love this girl anymore.

If that's the case, try to remember what made you attracted to her in the first place, try to simulate those scenarios ... you know probably a place you guys visited, or a movie you both saw ... I don't know, but that should help. I've never felt the way you do, feelings fading and hoping they'll come back, but I hope I helped a little.

Oh and yeah, about the whole protecting her thing ...
I don't know what South Africa is like but, chances are she isn't going to get raped like that.

Protect her when you're by her side, but you shouldn't monitor her like she's a felon - give her some space.


Wow... thats some good advice. i am and want to give her space... she has tons of friends and i dont mind cause i trust her (even if that means getting emotionally messed up), she's a great person and that is probably why she has so many friends, and she's really beautiful if i may add.
My feelings have become stronger since last week, and just like you said are fading, which i dont want to happen, but whenever i call it seems as though SHE doesnt wanna make the plan, and she always agrees to my plans - which i find nice of her, but still now its as if i am telling her where to go and what to do - getting my image, its like if i dont make a plan to see her she wouldnt make an effort to maybe even make a plan, and if she did have a plan she would probably not include me - since we different people by far, in more than one way - and she would end up not seeing because she wants to go do her thing, while we couldve actually just enjoyed each other's company while she did what she wanted... but what i feel she sees me as is not a 'fun' person, but i got my own sense of fun - i dont mind going out of way to see her if she calls me and tells me to come to a place i dont wanna go to, cause i dont mind doing it for her... but i still feel as though i put way more effort in.

but i got another problem... actually not a problem just something i wanted to talk about.
Since we so different and enjoy only some similar things, we also have a different outlook on friendship. I tend to have 10 close friends, where she would have 50 and would know them not as well as i know mine. She's one of my close friends... which brings me to it, i spend quality time with each close friend i have at least once a month, cause thats how i am. i make the effort, but it seems that she doesnt, how should i feel about it?? - cause i make effort and i mind only if she doesnt, understand??

i think that i have been love-cursed, cause i cant understand whats going inside me.

[Icestorm]

its all good strydr all you have to do is beat up any guy that looks funny at her.. that way you'll get some crazy reputation and they wont touch her... lol.. dont take my advice this time :P

[strydr]

What are you suppose to do if your girlfriend kinda gives you the line,"If you dont do this then i know you dont love me..." - and you dont wanna do it, do you force yourself to do it or do you tell her you dont wanna do it, then she would get upset with you and you would be in her bad books... what do you do if you really didnt wanna do it, what if you pop the same question and she doesnt wanna do it for you??

[Planeswalker]

Ummm you do it the first time and maybe the second but if she asks it anymore than that u need to tell her no. Also if shes not willing to do the same for you then she really is just using you and doesnt appreciate you.

[choking]

hmmm... id say i dont wanna do it..

[Planeswalker]

^^ It kinda depends on what she wants you to do, but if she uses that line often then jus dump her ass because she doesnt love you thats for sure.

[cloudnine]

What are you suppose to do if your girlfriend kinda gives you the line,"If you dont do this then i know you dont love me..." - and you dont wanna do it, do you force yourself to do it or do you tell her you dont wanna do it, then she would get upset with you and you would be in her bad books... what do you do if you really didnt wanna do it, what if you pop the same question and she doesnt wanna do it for you??

That trick is like, the oldest in the book.

Tell her, you don't wanna do it. And if she doesn't take that into consideration, then you know that she doesn't love you, or she doesn't love you as much as she say she does. When you're in a relationship, you're suppose to feel comfortable and not pressured into doing anything you don't wanna do.

Tell her, you wanna take your time with whatever it is. And if she goes about it all the wrong way, then prehaps, she's not met for you.

[Pipp-ORK]

STRYDR- ......That's a BAD sign. She's gloating you into doing something in her favour, and that ain't good. Well, don't do it if you don't want to, and if she leaves you, then rest assured that you didn't lose anything worth keeping. :P


Not to be offensive, but that's about all I can say since I don't know the girl. :/

[strydr]

ok, think you guys got the wrong picture, but it's ok now - i did it, i made the biggest effort in the world to go and see her and take her to this place i like to look at the view... Wow! the view is really nice.
but to ask another question...

How do you know how good your relationship is if nothing has changed in a month??
I dont mind accelerating with this girl and i really wanna hold her under the night sky and tell her i love her...

[cloudnine]

Things change when they change.

Everything isn't rushed, nor are they always slow. If you wanna hold her under the night sky and tell her you love her, than by any means, go for it.

[blackmary]

i suggest watching Suzuka would be nice... i highly recommend it!
pm me if anyone wants it! i'd be glad to share torrent links, or even upload mine for you to download! :)

[WizKid77]

i suggest watching Suzuka would be nice... i highly recommend it!
pm me if anyone wants it! i'd be glad to share torrent links, or even upload mine for you to download! :)
What the hell? That's completely irrelevant blackmary. Anyway strydr I say just go for it. If you feel like holding her tightly and looking up at the stars and telling her you love her, is appropriate at the moment. Then go for it. If you feel like it's right to do now, then it is.

btw. That girl I've been tellin you all about. Well nothing has really truly progressed at the moment. It's still more of a wait for him to move type of thing still. But she said she wrote me a letter but she still has to revise it because, she's not too familiar with the language really. Well that's what she said. Anyway I have no idea what the letter is about. It could be good or it could be really bad. Who knows, but letters are never in between. So we're back to the waiting game. I'll tell you guys what the letter says when I finally get it.

[strydr]

WizKid - letters usually have the whole truth in them and will usually say what you want to or dont want to hear, either way its the truth... i still think this girl is the biggest player, dude there are many more fish in the sea, many more stars in the sky - maybe once she sees you dont care so much about her anymore then she'll totally think "what the hell is wrong with him" - then she'll confront you and then you have to ask for the truth...maybe that could be a plan

[WizKid77]

WizKid - letters usually have the whole truth in them and will usually say what you want to or dont want to hear, either way its the truth... i still think this girl is the biggest player, dude there are many more fish in the sea, many more stars in the sky - maybe once she sees you dont care so much about her anymore then she'll totally think "what the hell is wrong with him" - then she'll confront you and then you have to ask for the truth...maybe that could be a plan

heh yeah that's true. Well it's not like I haven't been keeping my options open since the last time I posted here. I'm just not going to go out of my way at the moment to see how things would work out with the other girls I've met. But I still want to see what would happen with the girl you all hate, so I'm still waitin for her.

[strydr]

how should you react if your girlfriend doesnt wanna hug you or hold hands in public because she is scared of being seen by friends and friends of family.

I am the son of a doctor who is very well known and is the only doctor around this area, so i often referred to as special - which i hate the most - when people judge my character based on my surname - most people judge me... those who dont are friends.
She is known by a lot of people because her mom is the SOCIAL queen, who knows everyone and is known by everyone, which is ok, but when we go to the movies we are bound to sit next to someone either one of us know... which is crap, and it doesnt give us time to move forward in the physical aspect of our relationship...??

Will carry on, 7th Heaven is on , :) .

[Ios]

well, go talk to her about it...
I mean, as cloudnine once said, you should feel confortable in a relation ship. tell her you don't like it shes ashamed of you.
tell her you want to hug her because *very sweet compliment*

[strydr]

I dont think she is ashamed of me because her mother knows that we are a couple, but what i dont understand is that she wont do it until we are alone and in a place where no one knows us. but i mean we have been in a relationship for 2 months but havent done much physical things, because 1 - no oppurtunity, 2 - i wanna take it slow with her and she says she "likes" it as well.
But what do u ask your gf - "r u ashamed of me??".
Maybe this is a bit stupid>>

[Spike427]

Ok well i got one for you guys. I started dating this girl about a month ago, until recently she broke up with me, we got back together for a whole 1 day then broke up again. But this really isn't the problem. Her friends who've talked about fighting me since the beginning now do w/e they want. She flipped out and changed into a complete psycho. Last night for example her and her older brother and about 5 other ppl come to my house to fight right. I basically got like 15 ppl after me at once. Its funny because I didn't do anything to any of them. I never treated her badly either, shes the type to admit shes at fault one min then blame you the next. I seriously dont get it. So I guess the real question here is does anyone have any suggestions on dealing with a huge group of guys bent on hurting you?

[Planeswalker]

Well...you could get a gun...or the police (they have guns ^_^), but seriously just report her and maybe live somewhere else, get a new phone ect...

EDIT: Oh yeah I forgot. You could fight them with your sword...hopefully you can use bankai lol

[Spike427]

Rofl, I was just waiting for someone to say something about my swords but yea. I had to call the damn police and report them just to get them to leave my house last night oi. I hate ppl who start fights for no reason.

[Planeswalker]

Yeah same...they probably arnt gonna drop it either...Id seriously suggest moving lol

[Spike427]

lol well moving is a bit extreme even though im planning a move its not till later this year. Yea, I know what you mean about not dropping it to. Then you get to the point where you just want to take a bat or something to them and you realise you're gonna go to jail if you do that.

[Planeswalker]

Yeah...well try to stay safe until u move then

[Spike427]

lol I gotta go to school with these ppl, her damn older brother sits behind me in class oi. 1 lousy more semester till i graduate i swear.

[Planeswalker]

Well theres not much they can do to you while your in school

[strydr]

I dont think she is ashamed of me because her mother knows that we are a couple, but what i dont understand is that she wont do it until we are alone and in a place where no one knows us. but i mean we have been in a relationship for 2 months but havent done much physical things, because 1 - no oppurtunity, 2 - i wanna take it slow with her and she says she "likes" it as well.
But what do u ask your gf - "r u ashamed of me??".
Maybe this is a bit stupid>>

[Ios]

no I don't think that'd be weird...
or at least, it's not like shes gonna break up if you ask...
Have you ever kissed her actually? (I mean a REAL kiss like with tongue and stuff)
If not maybe try to find a moment to do that... It might make your relationship better.

[WizKid77]

strydr it's not stupid. If it's bothering you, I think you should talk to her about it. It is something you really should talk about and it's something she shouldn't break up with you over. There really isn't a problem asking if she's ashamed of you. She definitly isn't to begin with. And when you talk to her she'll explain that. She's probably just shy in public.

And yeah go with Telemaster's advice too.

[strydr]

no I don't think that'd be weird...
or at least, it's not like shes gonna break up if you ask...
Have you ever kissed her actually? (I mean a REAL kiss like with tongue and stuff)
If not maybe try to find a moment to do that... It might make your relationship better.

no i havent kissed her because of 1 - oppurtunity;2 - not enough courage.
i dunno when i hear kiss its like the end of all physical for me, because in my religion they say u r not even allowed to kiss, but it is the modern age, but with her i am willing to take the next step, because she doesnt mind taking the next step in a few months... i dont mind actually but i wanna be physical with her, cause we really connect on a spiritual level, i dont mind being with her for the whole day, just being with her.

[BeeCrest]

I haven't told any of my friends yet, and feel like I need to say something.
For weeks, and even months I think, I've been quietly, and at times without even realizing it, that I was dreading Valentines Day cuz there is this guy. My friends keep bugging him and me that we should go out, we are cute together, are perfect for each other and my friends always smile at me when I am with him. And over time, I've grown to really like. He everything that I would want in a guy, and is different, and seems so caring (for me). I've also had experience w/ a guy liking me and caring, but I really didn't like him, and this guy is different. So on Valentines Day I would finally find out whether I would get something from him or if my liking and/or his would be justified on this day. Well I got nothing and we(the guy and I) hardly talked, which is unusual cuz we are good friends and always talk. Maybe he was being shy cuz if he did something, everyone in our class would say "Aaaaahhhh" He was also talking to some other people and I heard the name of another girl be mentioned, and then this one thought echoed in my mind: "He could like someone else" The rest of the day I felt really tired, probably from the stress of school and stress of Valentines Day. I also felt kinda bad about maybe thinking too far into liking this guy and how he felt. I really don't know how to explain it.
Also, today we talked and spent time together as friends like always and felt alot better, probably cuz the pressure of V-Day was gone too.

[WizKid77]

BeeCrest, don't worry about it. Valentine's Day is just day that is built up to make single ppl feel awkward. Plus I find everything about the holiday has become cliche` and cheesy. I still don't see why it has to be the guy to make the first move for everything. Anyway I'm gonna give you some advice, you don't have to do it if you don't want to. It's just advice. Next time when you're just walking somewhere or something with this guy and you're alone. Just grab his hand while you two are walking together. When he looks at you just smile. After that he'll know you're kind of interested in him and he may just tell you the truth of how he feels. Or at least explain what he feels in general. Then again if he doesn't things might just slowly become better between you two. It's a small first step, but at least it's a step.

[BeeCrest]

Thanks, your advice helps so much.
I also don't want a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship just yet, b/c I don't want to be bolted down to a commitment and I don't want to go thru the hurt of breaking up, but I wan thim to know I wanna be friends, and more than just friends in a year or two. Plus, I can't help it/ stop my feelings.

[Kooy]

Well im back with another problem D:. Okay I really like this girl or at least when i think of her my heart skips. Anyway she is really beuatiful in my eyes alone I don't know of anyone else who might think the same. Anyway, she jsut got of a 8 month relationship with some prick that dumped her 2 days before Valentine's Day. And yes i Think Valentine's day is a good holiday as long as it's not all decorative and flashy as Thanksgiving or Christmas. Anyway, I really like her and i don't want to get turned down or whatever because i can tell shes hiding her stress and depression and it looks like she has been crying the night before. I want to make it so taht she can count on me for anything and taht i will be there for her always. I planned on asking her out and giving her roses as a late valentine's present because that prick boroke up with her before that. Any ideas that might work for me?

[Spike427]

I've got another question, Im in love with this girl right, shes techniqually one of my ex gfs, i broke up with her right but we still talk a ton and want to date again, i dont live by her anymore so thats why we're broken up. while broken up i found out she had done stuff with other guys which really hurt me. The thing is I was doing stuff with girls too so it makes me a hypocrit to be upset and yet i am. and I guess i have no right since we are broken up and it was my doing. Im just wondering some opinions on this. I really love this girl and im having problems deciding if i can be with her later on or not.

[Planeswalker]

In my personal opinion this relationship is screwed. Sorry to put it so bluntly.

BTW was she doin stuff with other guys and you doin stuff with other gurls while you were together? or while broken up? (you dont rly make that lcear)

[Spike427]

It was after we broke up which ya know I guess i can't say anything about. Its one of those things where you're techniqually broke up but its under shitty circumstances. If it wasn't for the distance I would have never broken up with her.

[WizKid77]

Yeah, you can't blame her for that. You two were broken up at the time and you were with other girls so you would be a hypocrite to say otherwise. I know what you mean by breaking up over stupid circumstances like that. I had to do the same thing and kind of regretted it for a little bit, but I'm over that. Anyway there is a possibility of you two getting back together if you still wanted too. You could try a long distance thing but that really sucks. I'll be honest, long distance rarely last unless you have a really strong bond together. If you guys ever got closer together again, then you might have a chance of reuniting.

[strydr]

Everything in my relationship is going ok cause i havent spoke to my gf in two days, but wanted to ask - where is the best place to plant a first kiss, the movies, in the open with a lot of people around??
if u know my situation, a lot of people know us so where do we kiss?? cause we went to the movies alone twice and by some bizaar chance we sat next to someone one of us knew, WTH!! ok, but where is the best place??

[WizKid77]

Renting a movie and watching it at one of your houses.

[Ios]

Everything in my relationship is going ok cause i havent spoke to my gf in two days, but wanted to ask - where is the best place to plant a first kiss, the movies, in the open with a lot of people around??
if u know my situation, a lot of people know us so where do we kiss?? cause we went to the movies alone twice and by some bizaar chance we sat next to someone one of us knew, WTH!! ok, but where is the best place??

well since she doesn't want to hold your hand in public...
a cinema wouldn't be a very good place...
you should just hire a movie and watch it at your place or hers with your/her parents not around. just watch the movie and slowly sit more closely to her, put your arm around her, kiss her on her head and then see what happenes...
(that's the way me and my previous girl first kissed)

[emmasu]

for kooy if y still here, if y really like this girl, do not ask her out now or giving her a late gift, cuz she still sad about the previous relationshipn and if y try to ask her she will panic and will think alot before she said says yes to y and will be afriad from breaking, so what y do is that try to be just a friend with her do not ever try to show to her that y like her, try to make her goes through this and then she will see in the best person she has ever met, good luck

[strydr]

well since she doesn't want to hold your hand in public...
a cinema wouldn't be a very good place...
you should just hire a movie and watch it at your place or hers with your/her parents not around. just watch the movie and slowly sit more closely to her, put your arm around her, kiss her on her head and then see what happenes...
(that's the way me and my previous girl first kissed)


if i hire a video and sit at home my parents will make sure someone is at home, i know, but i will speak to her about it soon, cause like i said i havent spoken to her in two days... i also kissed my previous girl like that but it was a lot of friends in the dark, that was kewl.
Anyway, any other places.

[emmasu]

to spike247 if y still here and can read this, it seems that bothe of y have trust issue, and if there is no trust, no relationship. so i command y that y wait for a while and try to be a way from so y do not see her and avoid the love spark that y have for her, try to mkae new frreinds and meet other girls, i think y both do not belong togther

[emmasu]

strydr, i think any girl wants to be the first kiss perfect, the best kiss is the one that is not sudden or in the dark, why y r in such a hurry? try to wait for the best moment and not in front of every body, the more privte the kiss the better it is, so i think y better do it when y r wallking back with her to her home, talk alittle and y will feel that the kiss comes on its own, good luck with kiss

[strydr]

strydr, i think any girl wants to be the first kiss perfect, the best kiss is the one that is not sudden or in the dark, why y r in such a hurry? try to wait for the best moment and not in front of every body, the more privte the kiss the better it is, so i think y better do it when y r wallking back with her to her home, talk alittle and y will feel that the kiss comes on its own, good luck with kiss

Wow! that is almost exactly what i wanted to hear... ok, it seems that i may have to wait

[emmasu]

belive me when y have that kiss, y and her will know that y r for each other cuz she will know that y do not play with her

[frbbls]

it's really strange.

Me and my gf know eachother from the internet (yesyes but not on a datingsite)
And we live like 1,5 hours apart from eachother so she has to come by train.
When we first dated she came to me and i picked her up, she was as hot as i believed her to be but none of that matters atm.

I brought her up to my room, while putting some music on just talking about stuff. She was kinda shy and sat on the corner of my bed the entire time we talked, knwoing i wanted to really kiss her, i kept doing crazy things to get abit closer to her. The tension grows then, do i kiss her or not? Just get near her and your bodies will guide you through. When i did decide to kiss her, she told me afterwards she wanted it aswell after the first time she saw me, but was way too nervous to actually move haha.

Anyway don't let anyone tell you what to do, but let your bodies do the acting.

[Ios]

that was a realy wise lesson frbbls! :D

[BeeCrest]

Just thought I'd let you guys know, I got up the courage to ask the guy I like and his friends if we could be a lab group. I feel like we are really good friends again. V-Day can really mess up your emotions.

[Ios]

well to me it's like he likes you too.
I mean, he mus have got the feeling he should ask you or something but he didn't got the courage...
why do you actually not want to dat him? I mean what's the problem if you like him?
and besides make him wait a year isn't gonna work.
He has to be REEEEAAAAAALLLLYYYYY deeep in love to do that...

[Kooy]

heh emmasu, its hard to conceal your feeling it almost bursted in the middle of class but i luckily save myself and boy was i embarressed. Anyway, I am planning to go to a sleep over of hers if she is having a boy/girl one and no its not what you think its just a get together. I might pop the question then which is in like 2 weeks so wish me luck and good luck to you people's relationships

[Future]

Good Luck Kooy

[strydr]

Wow, i just wanted to tell all you guys who know my story,
yesterday i was with the girlfriend, and we were just walking, sitting down and talkin, getting little snacks along the way... but towards the end of our day we were sitting on the side at the docks and she turned to look at the mountains to the left and then i grabbed her around her shoulders to hold her in my arms. we were sitting there like that with our heads leaning on each other's and our ears touching... OMG!! guys it was best feeling ever.
This person i love so dearly was lying in my arms, it felt like for those few seconds i was on Planet She... i cant describe it, but it was this really awesome feeling.
Just one stupid thing happened to me that she doesnt know about, which is actually my question... What if you are sitting so close to each other that you can feel each other breathing and you get a bonar/erection/stiffy??
do u tell her about it, do you push her a little further away, do you lift your one leg up??? i think she knocked it with her elbow i am not sure, but i was a little embarrassed...

[strydr]

why do men get an erection when thinkin about nothing??
i wasnt thinkin about anything weird when i was with her, maybe it was skin-on-skin, when our arms were touching

[dragoneyes001]

nothing wrong with a natural show of excitement if you two are not having sex then it may be a bit much to come out and tell her about it but if she does notice it you can always tell her that you really find her exciting!

[emmasu]

sorry but am going to comment on this, erection medically is when the blood vessles in the p... are filled with the blood an dit become stiff, it is nothing wrong cuz that what happen when y r close to the oppsite sex adn this is beacuse of the hormones. FOR the part about telling, absouloty y do not tell the girl cus she is going to freck out abd become afraid that y want to have sex, the best thing to do just try to control yr self and try to talk or walk around to forget about it or go away from that place or try to talk in the phone or anything else

[dragoneyes001]

i think theres a big difference between "hey look what came up" to a girl your not haveing sex with and one you've been dateing forever and are having sex with.

also if even in the case of a girl your not haveing sex with she makes a point of noticing you have an erection and points it out to you "see how much I'm attracted to you even being near you is a turn on" would not be forcing the issue and could be defused even afterwards if you two are still waiting to be more intemate with something as simple as" don't worry! it cant escape on its own!"

[strydr]

I have spoken to her... but forgot to tell her about the whole idea of me being close to her...so now i think she thinks i wanna have sex with her!!
dammit! i will speak to you guys later...
another question, is ok to love the way Your Girlfriend smells, cause because i was so close to her on that day my t-shirt smells all of her and now i sleep with that shirt on, now for the past night, but i wake up feeling so refreshed and so happy... is it weird??
i love that smell.

[emmasu]

bur attraction does not mean only sex, and say cuz i love soo much that what happen to that means y do not understand the real process of yr body and why does it too that, some grils may become afriad cuz before becoming gf and bf they r friends

[dragoneyes001]

pheromones the stuff love is made of lol!

[emmasu]

no it is not weird cuz y have all of these feelings that y r close to her that y do not want to stay a part, it just like when y were young that y know yr mother smell and y like to sleep next to her and that smell always will make y think about yr mother

[dragoneyes001]

bur attraction does not mean only sex, and say cuz i love soo much that what happen to that means y do not understand the real process of yr body and why does it too that, some grils may become afriad cuz before becoming gf and bf they r friends


people get excited naturaly especialy during their teens.

to try and hide an erection is only being prudish.

a girl you dont know walks buy and the perfume she has on gives you an errection walking up to her and telling her would be rude and out of place!

but he was talking about someone he happens to be seeing and to deny that she excites him is also wrong as long as he's clear that he's not pushing her towards having sex theres no harm in admiting sexual atraction!

[Icestorm]

haha its cool wouldnt have told her about it but :P i would have thought she would get the wrong idea.. happens :)

[dragoneyes001]

haha its cool wouldnt have told her about it but :P i would have thought she would get the wrong idea.. happens :)

exactly no point blurting it out to someone your not already in a sexual relationship with!

but if she makes a point of telling you she's noticed then theres no harm admiting it!

[emmasu]

that right she would get the wrong idea, every time y see her and that happens, she will frech out and forget about y, there is always a sexual attraction, but if y really like that girl y like her becuase of her and because of her body, y like taling to her and wallking with her and always thinks about her, that what makes y really good gf and bf, to be freinds first

[emmasu]

sorry am going now if y wana complete this converstaion we will complete it later, byeeeeeeeeeee

[dragoneyes001]

that right she would get the wrong idea, every time y see her and that happens, she will frech out and forget about y, there is always a sexual attraction, but if y really like that girl y like her becuase of her and because of her body, y like taling to her and wallking with her and always thinks about her, that what makes y really good gf and bf, to be freinds first

holy crap are you a prude not all girls are virgins! and speaking from what appears to be about 25 years more sexual activity than you I'm pretty sure I've encountered a much larger variety of women than you have opposite sex.

yes as girlfriend/boyfriend develop their relationships being friends is a big part of that but people actually have sex together too and being ashamed of something so natural as an erection is wrong not wanting to give the wrong impression is OK as well but like i said if the girl makes a point of showing you shes noticed your erection theres a good chance she is far from nervous you might actualy want to have sex with her!

remember in most relationships the girl gives most of the indications about sex althogh a guy may be first to kiss the girl from that point on almost all girls hold the reins on if or when it may become a sexualy active relationship!

if she's shy and doesnt make any signs of wanting there to be sex the fact a guy may just kiss her allows for her to either be more bold or timmid depending on the girl and if she clams up after a kiss she's actualy made a decision already!

but you seem stuck on the idea all girls are afraid of being told a guy got sexualy excited by them! thats just imature believe me first thing in the morning being woken up by a girlfriend who's noticed that guys naturaly get erect can be fun.
same goes for long time girlfriends being told"hey look i just got excited" when the couple is already sexualy active!

but to be cuddled up with a partner when your 20 or 40 and getting an erection and ((((IF)))) she points it out it'd be stupid to try and hide it!
same can be said as teens you just have to be smart about how you mention it.

if she avoids mentioning it theres no reason for you to bring it up in conversation so just ignor it! not like its going to run rampant and attack anyone!

[vision33r]

This thread is one of the reason I am gonna keep my kids off the internet and restricted. I certainly know all about relationships, I think it is a dangerous time to have threads about how to reveal or open up to relationships given most of the posters here are definitely below 18 yrs old.

Big warning to you kids reading this... I might sound like I am some 40+ old geezer, I happen to be only 27 yrs old and not too much older than the rest of you.

When you are young, 13-18 yrs old, last thing should be on our mind is getting laid. I learned the hard way and big mistakes while I was only 17 thinking like I was old enough to do anything I wanted. Now I look back and just laugh at how immature and stupid I was back then.

When you turn 20+ yrs old, you will have plenty of time to get to know members of the opposite sex and plenty of chances of getting laid. I have no problems getting my share of fun loving these years and with regrets about it because I am old enough to understand and enjoy these pleasures without making big mistakes.

When you are young, stop watching these stupid rap videos and movies about sex, it just gets you feeling funny and its not a good thing.

Stay pure, have ambitions about your life and set goals. When you are on track and doing the right things, everything will fall in the part.

I get so worked up when I read kids talking about making out and how it is ok. It sounds innocent and not a big deal but these behaviors at a young age is so dangerous when you don't realize...

[WizKid77]

Ok vision33r, first of all this thread originally was made for helping people out with their relationships. Not for getting laid like your accusing. It just started to turn out like this recently, and it's not exactly about sex to begin with, if you go back and read where the topic went in this direction you'd understand that. The usual people helping to give advice for those who would like to stay in their relationships or make new ones aren't really commenting lately for this reason.

[Kenta]

The topic seemed to have been sidepathed in the last few posts. I think most people need some opinions on some stable relationships, whatever their ages are, I'm not interested. The next step will come naturally, but don't force it. Vision has a point, it's not the best to look for 'casual' relationship when you're young. Obviously the choices are up to you. Not much needed to be said but it's obvious if only one party feels it's casual, another party will get hurt.

When you get into college or university, there'll be opportunities for... pimping.

[Icestorm]

yes this is called the 'relationship' thread its not called the 'getting laid' thread but im sure thats probably somewhere, having sexual activities is part of a relationship so talking about it in this thread doesnt mean we see it as the person only objective, we give advice to people about where they are at in a healthy relationship, we dont however just say "this is how u have sex" its imature, and most of the talk in this thread has been highly respective and mature talk.

[WizKid77]

yes this is called the 'relationship' thread its not called the 'getting laid' thread but im sure thats probably somewhere, having sexual activities is part of a relationship so talking about it in this thread doesnt mean we see it as the person only objective, we give advice to people about where they are at in a healthy relationship, we dont however just say "this is how u have sex" its imature, and most of the talk in this thread has been highly respective and mature talk.
Wow, I definitely couldn't have said it better than that. Icestorm just said exactly everything I wanted to express pretty much.

[vision33r]

Ok vision33r, first of all this thread originally was made for helping people out with their relationships. Not for getting laid like your accusing. It just started to turn out like this recently, and it's not exactly about sex to begin with, if you go back and read where the topic went in this direction you'd understand that. The usual people helping to give advice for those who would like to stay in their relationships or make new ones aren't really commenting lately for this reason.

You sound quite inexperience yourself to not understand my concerns.. sex is just one part.. having a relationship at a young age is just foolish and dangerous.

The internet is so dangerous, you got kids who don't understand their feelings and are confused, so they got the internet to read up and trying to understand their confusion. 1st of all, at certain ages, you shouldn't get involved in love yet, because your mind is not ready. That's why you have problems understanding them.

When you are old enough, you will know what to do. A kiss just feels so natural and easy when you are in the right age.

Kids these days read up so much on the net and try to be more "adult" than they actually are deep inside.

If you are under 18 and you ahve these relationship issues, chances are you will experience eventually have very painful experiences.

How many times in HS, after valentine's day you have those crying girls or boys and how some kid killed themselves over someone.

I look back at my youth and how stupid I was back then, I could've killed myself back then all for love.

[Icestorm]

thats only your opinion i very much disagree with this.. you are talking about the ages 13 to 18? well i think that 16> is quite developed in this case. You seem to be talking about alot of extreme cases im not sure ive ever had one of those or experienced it 2nd hand, but regardless you cant change the world and this thread is open for what is, at this very moment so its already happening, we give advice on the present circumstances based on info that we already have, you cant prevent the present.

[WizKid77]

No, I understand perfectly well about your concerns. I'm just trying to state that your concerns are similar to the purpose of this thread but are not truly connected to what a normal conversation in this thread is all about.

Ok let me put it this way. When you were little you went to your friends for advice about love and relationships, correct. Well that's what we're doing here, except these friends are across the internet. And these are views from many users, unlike if it was on an actual web-page where there is only the view of one person and that is where young individuals would think that is the only correct solution. There should always be different views to any situations, which is what we are trying to deal with here.

No matter what time and age. Young teenagers will always go through these feelings and emotions, there is no way around that. So no matter what they’ll want some advice about them, which we try to provide here, which I guarantee this advice, would probably be very similar if they go and talk to their friends about the situation. The difference here is that if you go to your friends that know the people personally they would get a feeling bias from that friend and their advice may not help better the situation. Here we don't necessarily know these people personally thus not giving us the feelings to create bias advice.

Of course, you look back on life and realize how stupid you were back then. Everyone does. It's a natural form of living. Hell even I think the same thing. When I look back on the past I realize how stupid I was as well.

[dragoneyes001]

You sound quite inexperience yourself to not understand my concerns.. sex is just one part.. having a relationship at a young age is just foolish and dangerous.

The internet is so dangerous, you got kids who don't understand their feelings and are confused, so they got the internet to read up and trying to understand their confusion. 1st of all, at certain ages, you shouldn't get involved in love yet, because your mind is not ready. That's why you have problems understanding them.

When you are old enough, you will know what to do. A kiss just feels so natural and easy when you are in the right age.

Kids these days read up so much on the net and try to be more "adult" than they actually are deep inside.

If you are under 18 and you have these relationship issues, chances are you will experience eventually have very painful experiences.

How many times in HS, after valentine's day you have those crying girls or boys and how some kid killed themselves over someone.

I look back at my youth and how stupid I was back then, I could've killed myself back then all for love.

where to start?

lets see you think no one under 18 should care for someone else because it'll screw them up later.

hmmm! reality check being boyfriend girlfriend at 14-15-16 is natural in just about every country around the world only a very small number don't!

in my posts above i never told the poster he should push forth with his GF to have sex didn't even imply it in fact i said " if they are not having a sexual relationship and she doesn't mention his erection he should just ignore it happened" its perfectly normal bodily function and nothing to get uptight about.

now on the other hand if the girl makes a point of noticing that he's erect he'd be stupid not to at least admit it! saying something endearing to the girl can at least remove the embarrassment of the situation!

your 27 and your convinced that teens shouldn't have relationships that tells me that your more than likely the one who's had a bad string of partners I'm quite a bit older than you are and I've met my share of truly bizarre and twisted partners but I've also had great partners over the years!

this thread is not only read and frequented by 12-13 year olds there are 17-20 year olds and even older readers I'm one of them so are you and yes any advice should be cautiously handed out but to go only to one side as though the audience was only a bunch of prepubescent teens is just as bad as talking down to the other readers!

there's nothing wrong with human bodily functions they happen a nose will dribble if you have a sinus cold.

and if you think i was out of line by telling the poster he should make lite of a potentially embarrassing situation to ease tension then i personally think your wrong!

as long as people keep making the human body taboo there will be kids getting wrong information about whats what and they will make very ill informed decisions based on lack of knowledge! none of this promotes having sex early or at all for that matter its more a matter of having the knowledge to make informed decisions! infact being well informed is more likely to promote abstenance!

[Icestorm]

agreed entirely i myself am 17 yet i am mature enough to reconise the truth of those words, ive been a regular on this part of the forum and have given out some advice that people have used, i dont think im some kind of psychologist but i do want to help out other people with the problems that they face at this time in there life, i wont admit that i dont or wont ever have my own problems with relationships but sometimes its good to get someone elses opinion on the matter.

[emmasu]

hey agin, actually i didi not want to bring this issue out but that but a person ask about that specific action and i answered him very cleary and also i wanted to say being gf and bf is not necessery to involve sex, i think that comes later cuz when y like someone y like him/her for them selves not for something else, when y have sex with some one that someone is very special to y, so i feel that every body is geeting the wrong idea about being gf and bf

[vision33r]

agreed entirely i myself am 17 yet i am mature enough to reconise the truth of those words, ive been a regular on this part of the forum and have given out some advice that people have used, i dont think im some kind of psychologist but i do want to help out other people with the problems that they face at this time in there life, i wont admit that i dont or wont ever have my own problems with relationships but sometimes its good to get someone elses opinion on the m