Friend misunderstanding

[baby_azn23]

Last night my friends asked me to go movies but i said "i couldnt go because parents at home and brothers at school". So they suggested to call my other friend to pick me up but i said i didnt want to be a hassle. So today one of the friends sends me a msg on MSN saying "get dressed, *friend is coming to pick you up right now to movies" WHAT THE HELL? i didnt ask for anyone to come pick me up. seems like one of the friends asked *friend to pick me up over the fone 10mins before *friend arrived. I felt like an idiot when *friend arrived and i told her i couldnt go and she said "ohh.. okay.." with that sad face and turned and left. it wasnt my fault! i hope she doesnt cry.

My question is: Am i an idiot? It is wrong to blame your friends for arranging things and doing stuff for you without your "yes"? Even if it turns out bad, and makes you seem like the dirtbag? Should I say "thank you for thinking about me but thats not what i wanted"?

My say: I know they're trying to help but i don't need it. Ill ask when i do. I not really mad or anything just maybe a lil cranky at them because they made me turn down *friend.

What do you think?

[Tokoyami]

Last night my friends asked me to go movies but i said i couldnt go because parents at home and brothers at school. So they suggested to call my other friend to pick me up but i said i didnt want to be a hassle. So today one of the friends sends me a msg on MSN saying "get dressed, *friend is coming to pick you up right now to movies" WHAT THE HELL? i didnt ask for anyone to come pick me up. seems like one of the friends asked *friend to pick me up over the fone 10mins before *friend arrived. I felt like an idiot when *friend arrived and i told her i couldnt go and she said "ohh.. okay.." with that sad face and turned and left. it wasnt my fault! i hope she doesnt cry.

My question is: Am i an idiot? It is wrong to blame your friends for arranging things and doing stuff for you without your "yes"? Even if it turns out bad, and makes you seem like the dirtbag? Should I say "thank you for thinking about me but thats not what i wanted"?

My say: I know they're trying to help but i don't need it. Ill ask when i do. I not really mad or anything just maybe a lil cranky at them because they made me turn down *friend.

What do you think?

you should have just told them why u couldnt go.

[SLVR]

I thought it was cause you wenrt dressed good?

[Tanya]

I think what you did was absolutely right. Don't do things when you aren't asked. It's their fault for not considering your side, not yours.

[Sacred-kun]

hmm, so you couldn't go because your parents were home and your brother was at school? howcome? if your friend offers to pick you up then there's no hassel in that. maybe you should've just not opened the door when she came XD

[baby_azn23]

I thought it was cause you wenrt dressed good?
that was yesterday.. it was put on yesterday but i wasnt dressed, so they decided to change it to today so yeah ..

[saycheese]

I think what you did was absolutely right. Don't do things when you aren't asked. It's their fault for not considering your side, not yours.

agreed. however its likely in ur network of friends the "chinese whisper" happend. and or the person u talked to misunderstood u

[Sorian]

I agree with the above poster. Its no way that that's your fault.

[meowmix03]

Simple response, they shouldnt feel bad because you told them you couldnt and they came anyways. Yeah they might have been trying to be nice but so be it. You said you couldnt and that's that. Its just as you said, a missunderstanding

[Apocalypse]

You probably should have told them why you couldn't go, but overall, it really isn't your fault. You clearly told them you couldn't go, and you also clearly rejected the offer of being picked up. This in mind, any discomfort that could have started upon this point would be entirely at their fault. It isn't your fault they decided to visit despite your request that they not do so. :toocool:

[SolBeowulf19]

Yeah, i've got to agree with you. Your not being an idiot or anything like that. It's their fault, and i don't mean to sound cynical if i do, for not getting your yes and then sending your friend to pick you up. It's alright for them to help, but if you say no, or say that you can't go, then they shouldn't send someone all the way to pick you up. It can make the other person feel stupid and sometimes kind of sad.

[Darren337]

this isnt really a debate, it's more like a topic that should have been covered in the relationship thread which is about relationships with friends, family and lovers.

please note that debates are issues like abortion, death penalty, freedom of speech, and the legality of downloading free music.

[WizKid77]

It's totally not your fault. I mean you couldn't go and there was no way around that. But if they came all the way to pick you up and you could've gone, should've gone. Unless you didn't want to, so you should've just made up an excuse. Well in the end, it's your friend's fault for misunderstanding you and creating plans that involve you without them telling you about them.

[azumi149]

it's not your fault, really! it happens all the time to me. my friends plan things for me without waiting for my approval. but believe me, they're the ones who look idiot, not me!
so dont worry.

[Bankai!!]

yea its not your fault you should blame them.

[*~Bankai_Beauty~*]

thats happened to me once before it was just a misunderstanding you didnt do anything wrong so it wasnt your fault and if they get mad at you then theyre just being sucky friends...

[Munky]

Always tell the truth unless it brings you death. That's what i always say. Well it depends if it was a life or death situation or not. 0_o

[Caity_walsh]

its definalty not your fault... but dw bout it move on ..... if they ask tell them y u couldnt come but if they dnt ask put it behind you n move on !

[Enkou Kitsune]

You shouldn't feel bad, it wasn't your fault at all. They should have ok'ed it with you before they just showed up to pick you up. That put you in a tight spot, and if you had left, your parents would have probably been mad right? If that's the case, then they put you in a position where you had to choose who to obey; your friends, or your parents. In that situation you should obey your parents.

However, don't blame them. Remember, they were just trying to help you. They just got a little, overzealous with it.

[Byakuya7]

yes, its not your fault at all. They have no right to put you in that position in the first place.