poem

[Caity_walsh]

The World Around Me

Everything i see and do
Always seems wrong in any way
But when i open my eyes
Theres other people hurting more

I wake up laying in bed
And look out the window
I see everything
I dont wanna look no more
It scares my heart

I try to run away
But everything comes bak
The worlds spinning
And than boom
Its all gone

death describable in many ways !


what do you think ? i wrote it by myself ...

[Gozeta0075]

A little practice on writing poems; I know I need it too! I like the idea; but remember to keep in mind of spelling and grammar.

[Byakuya7]

Yes, the grammar was the only major problem, other than that it's a great poem that looks at the world in a more depressing way, and does a good job of it. Keep practicing.